The next morning
Wednesday @6 am

Ishita had gotten up early after another restless, sleepless night.

It was Wednesday today. Tonight was the final resort opening ceremony - the glamour themed dance and dinner for local dignitaries and media. She had managed to avoid seeing Gina Shah until now, but surely she would see her today. Gina would be the star of the show tonight, and she would have to watch the Bollywood queen making advances at her husband. She had hoped, wanted, to sort out their issues before tonight, but Raman had been so unreasonable the night before....

She had taken a shower and put on a thin white cotton kaftan, brushing her hair until it fell in straight waves down her back. She had no make up on and she looked critically at her face. Come to the spa. I'm  sure we can help you Subbu's girlfriend had said. Did she really look so bad? She squinted at her reflection. Her eyes were still slightly swollen but otherwise she looked fine, she decided. She knew that Mrs Mehta had arranged a spa and shopping trip for the women and their daughters later that day, while the men and Adi went out deep sea fishing. The spa would be welcome, but she didn't really feel like dressing up, making an effort for the dance, when things were still so unsettled between Raman and her.

She sighed deeply and then left the bathroom, looking in on her soundly sleeping babies. They would not wake for another two or three hours. She had the time to take a walk on the beach, reflect in solitude in just how everything was going so wrong, had become such a mess. She picked up the baby monitor receiver, just in case, and left the room.

She walked through the silent house and onto the deck, and then down the stairs onto the beach.

Dawn was breaking over the sea and it was a beautiful sight, a sight to soothe aching hearts. She walked a few meters down the beach, her eyes on the sea, the horizon, as the rising sun turned the skies into iridescent hues.

And then she stopped. For just in front of her, watching the sunrise, was her husband.

*********************************
Raman had also had a sleepless night, the words he had overheard the night before between his wife and her sister playing over and over through his mind.

Nothing made sense. Nothing. It couldn't be what it sounded like. She would never do anything to hurt him. Not his Ishita. No matter how angry she was with him. There was another explanation. It couldn't be what it had sounded like. She wouldn't. Not his Ishita.

What had Mihika said? "I know why you're happy akka. But have you told Raman jeeju you met Subbu today, at the Sofitel?"

His immediate assumption had been that her happiness stemmed from meeting Subbu. But hadn't the look in her eyes contradicted that? She had reached out to him, tried to talk to him, but he had been so consumed by jealousy, by pain, that he had walked out on her. And then he had waited all night for her to come and talk to him. But of course she hadn't.

He had been stupid. So stupid. Granted, she was angry with him, but she was his Ishita. She loved him as much as he loved her. She would no more be interested in re-kindling anything with Subbu than he was in taking up with Gina. Never. There was another explanation. And instead of allowing her to explain, he had stalked off in a pique, unable to see past his blind jealousy. His own pain.

But what about the pain he had put her through? He had seen the hurt on his wife's face during the past two days. Pain that she could hide from the world but not from him. Pain that echoed the pain he was feeling now.

You deserve it Raman, his heart screamed at him. For everything that you put her through, you deserve this pain, this uncertainty. But how do I change my past? he asked his heart. How do I change what is already done.

He looked blindly at the horizon, wanting desperately to make things right with her. Mr Mehta had arranged for the men to go fishing at eight, and then when they returned, he would need to see that everything was organized for tonights dinner and dance. When could he make things right with her? She would meet Gina at the dance tonight. He wanted her to know that he would be with her, by her side, that there was nothing to fear. But how could he, when they were not talking? Tears stung his eyes and he brushed them away, turning around to resume his walk.

And that was when he saw his wife.

*********************************

She was so beautiful in the early morning light, her short white kaftan seeming to blend with the sand, her straight black hair ruffled by the cool breeze.

She was looking straight at him, with her big brown eyes. There were questions, and there was pain in her eyes. And he knew that they had to stop doing this. They had to stop hurting each other. They had to talk.

He took the few steps towards her until he was standing before her, mere feet away from her. His eyes bore into hers and she looked back at him, unblinking, unsmiling.

"Ishita" he said, his voice breaking on her name. "Please talk to me."

"I wanted to talk last night Raman" her voice was quiet, but there was so much emotion behind it.

"Then talk now" he said and she nodded.

"Shall we...?" He pointed towards some beach chairs some meters away and she nodded again, walking back with him, her steps matching his.

They said nothing until they had reached the chairs, and he waited until she sat, before sitting down himself, next to her.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly. "About last night. When I overheard you.... when Mihika took that man's name... I was angry, I wasn't thinking straight, I thought ...."

"What did you think Raman?" Her voice was equally quiet.

"I don't know. I wondered why you would be so happy to see him. I knew how much he had hurt you in the past. But I also know how much I've hurt you too. I was scared ...scared by what it meant that you were happy because you had met him again."

"It wasn't that at all" she shook her head wryly. "I was happy yes, not because I had met him, but because what meeting him had made clear to me. But you just... you assumed the worst immediately. How could you think for even a second that ... that I would want to rekindle a relationship from my past... after everything that you and I have shared, after everything that's happened between us. Don't you know that you are my life? Nahi jaante kya aap Raman? Itna sabkuch hone ke baad bhi? Zindagi ho aap meri."

"Aur tum bhi nahi jaanti kya Ishita, ki meri zindagi tum pe shuru aur khatm hota hai? Don't you know that you are my life?" He responded. "Yet you questioned me on whether I wanted to get back with Gina. You assumed the worst about me Ishita,"

"You had time to tell me the truth Raman. And you didn't. You wanted to hide the truth from me."

'I was so scared of your reaction" a tear dropped from one of his eyes and he smiled ruefully. "I was trying to avoid precisely what happened. I knew if you knew about my history with her, my past relationship, you would be hurt."

"I was" she blinked back her own tears. "I couldn't understand how you could move on from your past so easily. How you could dismiss your relationship with her as if it didn't matter. That's why I was so happy after I met Subbu. Because I realized then that it is possible to move on completely from your past. I felt nothing when I saw him Raman. No anger, no bitterness, no pain. He truly didn't matter to me. Because I love you so much that there wasn't any room in my heart for any emotions about him. And I realized that it was the same for you. That Gina didn't matter to you, because you love me as much as I love you. I know that Raman"

"Ishita" he reached out towards her, but she shook her head.

"No Raman. Even though the past doesn't matter, it still hurts that you lied to me. That you didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. Not just about the past, but about her intentions now. She wants to break us up Raman. Don't I have the right to know that?"

"I was trying to protect you Ishita. I know how much it would hurt you. And there is no chance whatsoever that I would cheat on you, that I would do what she wants. That's why I thought... that I could spare you the pain, not tell you..."

Tears filled her eyes and she shook her head furiously

"But I have a right to know Raman. Why can't you see that? It hurts so much that you lied"

"I was wrong" his voice was a whisper. "I'm sorry. This last night ... I didn't know what to think.... I didn't let you explain and I tortured myself by imagining things. I... I realized last night what jealousy is, and what I've put you through since Monday. I thought I knew all about jealousy Ishita. I felt it when Shagun left me for Ashok. And then when we met, when I realized I loved you, I felt so much jealousy whenever I would see Raghav with you, see him smile at you as if he had some right to you. But all that was nothing compared to last night Ishita. When I saw you smiling, happy and heard what I thought you meant, I thought, I thought that I might lose you..... and the thought of losing you ... the thought of your being with the man you had loved before me ... it was just.....  I felt utterly defeated Ishita. I wanted to go to him, to hurt him, I wanted to hurt myself. Just thinking of you with him again hurt so much, It hurt so much."

"What are we going to do Raman? How can we go on like this?"

She passed her hands over her eyes, trying to stem the tears that had been threatening for the past few minutes. They loved each other so much, but what was love without trust?

"Ishita"he reached out a hand again to her and this time she let him take her hand, let him hold it tightly, protectively in his own. He sighed, a sound of relief, of homecoming and then spoke again.

"Ishita, I've made mistakes I know that. I was trying to protect you, but in doing that, I gave away the power to someone else to hurt you, to interfere in our relationship. I should never have put myself in this position. I should have called you up when I found out she was going to be the brand ambassador, should have told you everything. Instead, I was insistent on handling this like just another job. So I went to parties with her, I posed for pictures with her, because I wanted the resort's opening to be a success. But I should have realized the situation I was putting you in, I should have known that this would embarrass you, hurt you. She wasn't just another client. She was a part of my past. But it wasn't until last night, after I heard... his.... his name, that I realized how much I hurt you. I'm truly sorry Ishita"

His hold on her hand tightened, his fingers intertwining with her.

"I'm sorry" he whispered again.

"I'm sorry too Raman" she turned teary eyes to him. "I should have told you immediately about meeting Subbu, but there wasn't the time. And what you heard was just... Mihika saw Subbu too. And she knew I was so happy that the past no longer had any power over me, because it meant that I could understand you better. It was our future I was happy about, not rekindling my past with him."

"I know now" he said ruefully, his own eyes filling up again. "But last night was just... I .. I was ....."

She looked at him straight in the eyes, seeing the pain and uncertainty in his face.

"Did you really think I would leave you, go back to Subbu, Raman?" she asked quietly.

"No, I knew in my heart that you would never do that to me. But when I heard what you said to Mihika, I didn't know what to think. I just knew that I couldn't bear the thought of you meeting that man, talking to him again. I was in so much pain I didn't know what to think  Ishita."

His hand tightened in hers, and he shuddered. "I can't go through that again Ishita. You have no idea.... you don't know how much it....."

"I do know Raman" she took her had out of his and stood up, walking a few paces away, before turning round to stare at him with teary eyes. "I know exactly how you felt. Its how I felt when I saw your photos with Gina. It's how I felt when I overheard your conversation that night, and I thought that you had been making love to her. It's how I felt when you forgot me and went out looking for a one night stand, last year. It's how I felt when...."

"Don't" he sunk his face in his hands. "Don't Ishita please."

"I'm just telling you how it makes me feel" Her voice was quiet.

"You're the only woman for me Ishita. But I met you so late in life. So much happened to me before you came into my life. So how do I change my past. What has happened is done with. How do I change that now?"

"I know you can't change the past Raman. I can't change mine either. And I know, I accept, that what happened in the past is not relevant to our lives now. But I need you to be honest with me about everything. I don't need protection Raman. I need the truth."

He stayed silent for a few minutes, thinking, as she came back to sit next to him. He had worked hard to get where he was in life. And he loved his life. The bright lights, the power to influence, the pinnacle of success. But it meant nothing if it made his madrassan cry. It meant nothing if he could not make her happy. Nothing mattered as much as she did. Nothing.

"I'll give it all up" he said quietly.

"What?" she asked.

"The agency. My business. I'll sell it to Mihir. We can move - maybe to Australia, or New Zealand. Or even here. Away from my past, from the past that has the power to hurt you. I can set up a business. I'll give it all up Ishita, but I can't hurt you anymore. Just don't leave me please. Don't leave me please.'

She drew back, looking at him in stupefied wonder.

"Move? And start all over again? But Raman, all your contacts, your network, it's all in India, in South east Asia. You can't just leave everything you've worked a lifetime to build."

"I can" he said simply. "I can because nothing means more to me than you. Nothing."

"No Raman" she shook her head, looking at him in frustration. "I won't let you do that. Running away isn't the answer. Mummyji, papaji, it's not fair on them to expect them to move at this age. And Ruhi and Adi? They won't want to leave their friends. Besides, we met Gina and Subbu here, right, halfway across the world, not in India. You're not listening to me Raman. The past doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. As long as we are open and honest with each other, the past has no power to hurt us."

He reached over and took both her hands in his, moving closer until their faces were just inches apart, their bodies almost touching..

"Are you absolutely sure Ishita? If Gina continues on this stupid track she is on, or another story from my past collides with our lives, are you sure you can handle it?"

"As long as you are honest with me, yes, I'm sure." she tightened her hand within his, staring at him earnestly. "Tell me the truth, always. Whatever it is, let me know. Let me be prepared. "

"But it hurts you so much to know Ishita."

"It will always hurt Raman. But the fact is that I wasn't the first woman in your life, and I can't do anything about that. And I don't want to change you either. I love you as you are, flaws and all. And I know you love me the same way. But I need to know the truth from you so that others don't have the power to hurt me. You need to be open with me. Can you give me that assurance?"

"Yes."

"Promise you won't ever hide things from me Raman. No matter how good your intentions are."

"I promise Ishita. I won't put you through this again. I promise."

She nodded her head.

"I'm sorry too Raman. For letting my insecurities come between us, for not always trusting in your love."

"You dont have to say sorry..."

"I do" she interrupted him. "I am sorry. I made assumptions too. I should have trusted in our love. We both have to forgive and move on now Raman."

"Have you really forgiven me jaan?" His fingers loosened on hers, and he brought one hand up to his lips, his voice husky with longing as he stared at her.

"Say it again" she whispered, tears filling her eyes at his endearment.

"Jaan" he whispered back. "Meri jaan" (Love. My love)

"You're such an idiot Raman" she said ruefully. "Why wouldn't you listen to me last night? Did you really think that I could cheat on you?"

"No" he shook his head wryly, his fingers tightening against hers. "But I knew I deserved it. But you're an idiot too, for thinking that I would want another woman over you."

"She is the queen of Bollywood Raman"

"And you're the queen of my heart, paagal madrassan."

"Idiot" she repeated. "And if I'm a paagal madrassan, you're a totally jallu Punjabi. I've noticed you won't even take Subbu's name. Say it.'

"No" he said stubbornly, his mouth setting in a thin line. "I have no interest in his name, and if I ever see him, I swear...... '

Ishita laughed at the look on her husband face. "Bilkul paagal" She said with a smile, her voice softening. "I've missed you so much."

"I missed you too baby"

"Kitni mazak banadiya humne. Kya soch rahe honge sab log?" (We've created such a scene Raman. What must everyone be thinking of us?)

He grinned sheepishly.

"I know that Mihir and Mihika think we are a pair of idiots. But don't worry about them. Come here"

He drew her to him, but just then the silence of the morning was broken by a shriek from the babycom in Ishita's pocket. It was Raashi, and she was crying.

Ishita jumped up. "Now your daughter is complaining,  just like you" she said with a smile to her husband, as she ran towards the house.

*********************************
Twenty Minutes Later

Raashi had refused to get back into bed and had fallen asleep on her father's shoulder, grumbling when he tried to put her down. But her grumbles were irritating her twin, who had set up his own whimpering, and so he had moved to the living room, his cranky baby in his arms, crooning a soft lullaby to her as he gazed at her in wonder.

The door to the babies room closed softly and his wife came out.

"Is my champ sleeping?" He asked softly.

"Haan, so raha hai mera accha beta" ( Yes, my good boy is sleeping) She looked on as he sat on the sofa, slowly trying to ease his daughter down onto the soft cushions, then giving up as she grumbled and held on tighter to him. He grinned ruefully at his wife, rearranging Raashi in his arms as he walked over to Ishita.

"Tumpe gayi hai" (She takes after you) he said softly, as she leaned over to gently kiss her daughter's head.

"Kyun?" (Why?) She whispered, smiling at them both.

"Yeh bhi mujhe nahi chodeti" he smiled back at her, before continuing in the same soft tones, careful not to disturb their daughter. " Aaj raat ko party hai jaan. You're going to the spa and for shopping with Mrs Mehta aren't you?" (She won't leave me either. The party is tonight love. You're going to the spa and for shopping with Mrs Mehta aren't you)

"Hmm" she said, apprehensively. Gina Shah would be at the party tonight. She would finally meet the woman who had vowed to destroy her happiness. "I don't know if I want to go to the party Raman"

"There's nothing to be scared about Ishita" he reached out his free hand and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. "I'll be with you."

"I'm not scared" she said frowning. "It will just be awkward, that's all. And I have nothing to wear. I brought a sari, but the theme is glamour and .... anyway, you're right, I should meet her and get it over with."

"That's like my Jhansi ki Rani" he smiled at her. "And you can get something to wear when you go shopping today. I know Mrs Mehta has organized an exclusive showing from one of the top designers in Fiji." He tried to bend his head to hers, his lips searching for her, but Raashi protested and Ishita shook her head at her husband..

"Raman, no" she whispered. "Not here, yeh jaag jayegi aur koi aa bhi sakta hai." (Not here, she will wake up and anyone can come here)

"I have an idea jaan, will you hear me out" he gently rocked his grumbling daughter as he looked intently at his wife.

"Kya Raman?" (What Raman?)

"After the party tonight, I want to take you somewhere special. It's another island, about ten minutes speedboat ride away from here. It's part of the Resort, but it's totally secluded. Totally private. It's the Resorts honeymoon island, meant to provide total privacy for couples. These two islands are about three hours by boat from any other islands anyway, so the honeymoon island is a world of its own. Come there with me jaan. Just the two of us"

"But Raman, the children? The babies?"

"Mihika and Mihir will be here. And the two babysitters will stay at the villa all night too. The children will be fine. Please baby"

She looked at the longing in his face and knew that she could not say no. She had missed him so much. And they needed this time with each other. So much had happened. So many emotions, so many tears. They needed to reconnect, to heal each other.

"Yes" she whispered, leaning towards her husband.

"Ishima, I'm hungry" Ishita whirled around guiltily to see her older son framed in the hallway, a grin on his face, his hand on his stomach.

"Kal raat ko dinner nahi kiya, isliye" she scolded him, beckoning to him as he walked into her arms. "Have you brushed your teeth? Chalo, I'll make breakfast for you." (You didn't have dinner last night, that's why. Have you brushed your teeth? Come, I'll make breakfast for you)

"Thank you Ishima" Adi looked from his mother to his papa, and his smile deepened. "Are we still going fishing this morning papa?"

"Haan beta, but don't talk so loudly" Raman gestured toward the baby sleeping in his arms. "And listen, Adi, you kids will be having your own party at the Kids Club tonight. Make sure you look after the girls okay?"

"Yes papa" Adi grinned as his mother moved away into the kitchen.

"And listen beta,Ishima and I will be staying over at a retreat tonight, so make sure Ruhi gets to bed in time and listen to Mihir chachu Okay"

"Retreat papa?" Adi's grin widened. "Okay, whatever you say."

And then he followed his mother into the kitchen, smiling at her blushing face, happy that his parents had made up after all.

Tera mera pyar amar
Phir kyon mujhko lagta hai dar
Tera mera pyar amar
Phir kyon mujhko lagta hai dar
Mere jeevan sathi bata
Kyon dil dhadke reh reh kar

Kya kaha hai chaand ne
Jisko sun ke chandni
Har lehar pe jhoom ke
Kyon ye nachne lagi
Chahat ka hai har su asar
Phir kyun mujhko lagta hai dar
Tera mera pyar amar
Phir kyon mujhko lagta hai dar

Keh raha hai mera dil
Ab yeh raat na dhale
Khushiyon ka ye silsila
Aise hi chala chale
Tujhko dekhoon, dekhoon jidhar
Phir kyun mujhko lagta hai dar
Tera mera pyar amar
Phir kyon mujhko lagta hai dar

Hai shabab par umang
Har khushi jawaan hai
Mere dono baahon mein
Jaise aasman hai
Chalti hoon main taaron par
Phir kyun mujhko lagta hai dar
Tera mera pyar amar
Phir kyon mujhko lagta hai dar