Ishita woke up early the next morning.

Raman had told her that they would be making an early start, and she wanted to take a last look around before they left.

She dressed warmly and packed her few belongings in her shopping bag before she left the house.

It was close to seven am, but dawn was just breaking, and the vibrant pink hues of the clear Southern dawn soothed her soul.

As she looked back to the room, she thought again of the day before, and the aftermath of their kiss.

**********************************************************************************************************
Flashback - The Day Before

After the tumult of the kiss, she had fumbled with the coffees, finally making a brew she thought would do.

Taking a deep breath, and hiding her spiraling emotions behind a casual nonchalance, Ishita had gone back into the living room, just in time to see Raman return.

His eyes were downcast and he was looking everywhere but at her. Marveling at her own control, she had walked casually up to him, had handed him his coffee with a smile and had then retired to her room to change, and to give him the space she knew he wanted.

She had come out later to organise lunch and not finding Raman around, had left him a sandwich.

She had heard him later that afternoon, shouting again in his telephone, and wondered just which poor soul he was taking his frustrations out on.

For dinner she had made a proper South Indian meal, which after she had coaxed him away from his computer to the dining table, he had eaten with relish. She had noticed him casting surreptitious glances at her from time to time, and had simply smiled whenever he caught her eye.

She knew her behaviour must be puzzling him - he was probably expecting her to either demand marriage or beat him up, but she was so taken up by the discovery of her feelings that she did not want any confrontation with him.

She knew that if she spoke to him about their kiss, he would apologise and promise it would never happen again. And that she did not want.

So she pretended to be unaffected by him even though she longed to be in his arms again, longed to feel his hard body against hers, longed to continue from where they had left off, to explore further the maelstrom of emotions he had unleashed.

They did need to talk though - about Ruhi, and this was perhaps as good an opportunity as any.

"Raman" she said softly, after passing the dish of vaada to him. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Hmm, kya hai Ishita?"  (What is it Ishita)  His voice was wary.

"What have you thought about Ruhi, Raman?"

"Ruhi?" He was startled, having expected something else. "What about Ruhi?"

"Ruhi is growing up Raman, and she needs your attention. I know your mother has brought her up, and that too wonderfully, but Ruhi needs her parent."

"I've told you about Shagun" his mouth was set in a grim line. " So how can you still say that she needs her?"

"I agree about Shagun, Raman, but I said parent. You are Ruhi's only parent and she needs you, she needs her papa."

"I'm doing the best I can Ishita, but I told you why..."

"I know Raman, but think from Ruhi's perspective. She loves you, she adores you. Try to spend a bit more time with her, do things with her."

"Ho gayi tumhari lecture shuru madrassan" he drawled, casting his eyes heavenwards. "Bhagwan menu bachale." (So your lectures have started madrassan. God help me now)

"Yeh lecture nahi hai" Ishita said crossly. "Aap ki beti ke liye keh rahi hoon" ( This is not a lecture. I'm saying this for your daughter)

"Meri beti ke paas toh tum ho na"  (But my daughter has you, doesn't she?)

"Yes, but I won't be around forever Raman. Aaj nahi toh kal amma meri Shaadi karwa degi, aur Ruhi phir akeli ho jayegi"  ( Sooner or later amma will succeed in getting me married and Ruhi will be alone again )

He put down his fork and looked intently at her. " Shaadi?" (Marriage?) He asked quietly.

"Yes Raman, Shaadi. Sab karte hain. I'm sure that kisi din, aap bhi doobara..." (Yes Raman, marriage. Everyone does it and I'm sure that some day, you will once again...)

"No, never. Never again" he stood up abruptly, pushing his chair back and striding to the windows. Ishita looked at him in dismay and then walked up to him.

"Raman" she started, but he interrupted her, turning around to face her.

"Ishita, we've been ignoring what happened today. I...I don't know what came over me, you're, well, you're a very attractive woman, but I ...I shouldn't have. Ishita, I don't want you to get any ideas about ... about us...about what's between us. I told you, I don't believe in love, and I'm never going to get married again, and..."

"Excuse me Raman Bhalla" it was Ishita's turn to interrupt, her eyes flashing fire. "How dare you? Kitni unchi opinion hai aap ki apne liye. Just because we kissed, you think I'm in love with you, or I want to marry you? What gave you such an idea?"

"So what, do you want me to believe that you go around kissing any random man you meet?" His voice was cool, amused, and the disbelief with which it was tinged infuriated Ishita.

"Well, how do you know I don't?" She hissed.

"I know because of this"

She was caught by surprise as he pulled her to him, turning her around and pinning her against the wall. His hands pressed hers against the wallpaper, and his fingers forced hers apart, entwining with hers, as he pressed his body close against hers, imprisoning her.

Her mind was screaming at her to keep calm, to keep cool, but her treacherous heart had other ideas. It began to pound furiously, her breath wavering as his face came closer and closer.

She gasped as he dropped a feathery kiss on one cheek, his breath smelling of spices and wine. He kept his lips on her skin, skimming her face with light kisses  until an unwitting moan escaped her.

"Ramann" it was a plea.

"You're so innocent Ishita" he whispered against her ear. "And you think I can't tell?"

"Ramann" it was all she could say.

In response, he brought his lips down on hers. There was none of the gentle lead up of that morning, just sheer intensity and need. Their fingers clutched each other's tighter, and their tongues danced in unison as he pushed her hard against the wall. Unlike this morning, thin layers of wool were all that they were wearing, and she could feel the hard contours of his body, every inch of him, as she strained against him. She whimpered, her knees turning to jelly as need caroused through her. He continued to ravish her mouth, unheeding of her state, and she clutched at him as he released her hands, to pull her softness even closer against his unyielding body.

Perhaps that was his undoing, as the feel of her soft curves set him on fire. He gasped and pulled away, releasing her as abruptly as he had captured her, his heavy breathing the only indication that he was as affected by her as she by him.

"I've seen it all Ishita" he said, his voice hoarse and thick with desire, as she continued to lean against the wall, struggling to regain her composure. "So don't try to pretend to be what you're not. You're a nice sweet girl. You'll find a nice young man someday, someone with more spine than that Subbu, and less baggage than me. You deserve better than him, or me."

"Don't worry Raman" To her surprise, Ishita found her voice and her composure. "I don't need you to give me advice on love or marriage. You're Ruhi's father to me, nothing else. I thought we could be friends, I still hope we can, but you're right about one thing, I deserve better."

She took another deep breath, not wanting him to see how much he had hurt her, not able to forget the unconscious concern she could see in his eyes, even as he mouthed words to hurt her.

"Friends" he sneered. "Yeah, right" He turned away abruptly, turning his back on her, as she left the sanctuary of the wall, and turned towards the kitchen.

"Breathe, Ishita" she told herself. "Don't let him know how much his words hurt" She gave herself another mental shake, and then stopped as she reached him.

"I'll clear the table, and then I'll go to bed. What time will we leave tomorrow?"

He looked at her then, quizzically, relieved yet somehow disappointed at her composure.

"I thought around 8.00" he said quietly. "Then you can make it in time for your conference."

"Fine" she said, equally quietly. " I'll be ready"

"Ishita" he called as she walked past him.

"Goodnight Raman" was her response.

She walked into the kitchen with her head held high. She loved him, but she would not let him walk all over her - she would give him time, but she would not give him forever. And while he wrestled with his shadows, she would keep her head high and her dignity intact.

Flashback ends.

**********************************************************************************************************
Raman stood on the path, close to where he had kissed her the day before, his eyes cast down, ignoring the breaking dawn.

Five days ago, when he had found her in the storm, he would never have believed that he would be so troubled at the thought of parting from her. He felt as if he had lived a lifetime in these five days - to have gone from contempt to understanding, to have laid his soul bare before her, to have held her in his arms, to have felt her soft lips beneath his, - and now to part.

He looked up and saw her approaching in the distance.

He knew he had acted boorishly last night - the way he had overpowered her, forced his lips on hers - and over what? Because she had spoken of other men? Because she had talked about getting married?

"Are you jealous Raman?" He asked himself. "Why? She's just another pretty girl you're attracted to, next week you'll meet another, and then another. She's a good person, yes, she has a pure heart, she's a wonderful friend to your Ruhi, but apart from that she means nothing to you, and don't you forget it"

And having convinced himself of his indifference, he strode over to meet her, to start their journey back to the real world.

**********************************************************************************************************
Two Hours Later
Hotel Southern Cross

Raman pulled the SUV into the visitors parking lot, and turned off the engine. Ishita sat still, staring straight ahead.

She had barely spoken to him in the car, nor in the chalet before they had left.

She knew he had promised her nothing when he kissed her, but the baring of hearts and souls that they had shared the evening before had led her to expect more sensitivity from him.

She had not wanted to press him for any commitment or avowal of affections, but still, his callous dismissal of her had stung.

She had thought they could be good friends, and perhaps in time he would be willing to acknowledge the love she had seen in his eyes, but now she wondered if she had misread his feelings. She was in love with him, but  she had thought herself in love once before, and she was not prepared to sacrifice her self respect for any man.

She needed to assert herself and she needed to distance herself from him.

She glanced at him now, wanting to get away before she weakened.

"Thank you Raman" she said quietly, with dignity, as she opened the car door. "I'll see you back in Delhi"

And with those words, Ishita Iyer jumped out of the SUV and walked away.

Raman sat still for long minutes after she left, watching her as she strode confidently to the hotel entrance.

She did not glance back once, and he wondered why that hurt.

He was the one who had told her there was no chance of anything between them, so why did her every step away from him feel like a rejection?

"Finally got rid of the madrasan" he told himself, trying to force a chuckle. But his smile did not reach his eyes, and he wondered why he felt like crying.

"You can walk away and say we don't need this. But something in your eyes says we can beat this"
Taylor Swift

Nai jeena tere baaju
Nai jeena nai jeena
Nai jeena tere baaju
Nai jeena nai jeena

Main Tainu Samjhawan ki
Na tere bina lagda jee
Main tainu samjhawan ki
Na tere bina lagda jee
Tu ki jaane pyar mera
Main karoon intezaar tera
Tu dil tui-yon jaan meri
Mein tainu samjhawan ki
Na tere bina lagda jee

Mere dil ne chun laiya ne
Tere dil diyaan rahaan
Tu jo mere naal tu rehta
Turpe meriyaan saaha
Jeena mera ...hope
Hun hai tera, ki main kaaran
Tu kar aitbaar mera
Main karoon intezaar tera
Tu dil tui -yon jaan meri
Mein tainu samjhawan ki
Na tere bina lagda jee

Ve changa nahion keeta beeba
Ve changa nahion keeta beeba
Dil mera tod ke
Ve bada pachhtaiyaan akhaa
Ve bada pachhtaiyaan akhaa
Naal tere jod ke

Tenu chadd ke kitthe jawan
Tu mera parchhanvaa
Tere mukhde vich hi main taan
Ran nu apne paawan
Meri dua... haaye
Sajda tera kardi sadaa
Tu sun iqraar mera
Main karoon intezaar tera
Tu dil Tui-yon jaan meri

Mein tainu samjhawaan ki
Na tere bina lagda jee

Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhaniyaa