Tuesday 2 September 2014
11.30 pm
Aakash Ganga Society

Ishita lay wide awake, phone clutched in her hand, listening to Mihika's even breathing.

Abhi had thankfully left early, after informing amma and appa that due to a grah identified by his guru, he could not move things further with Ishita until at least two weeks later.

As he was leaving, she had whispered her thanks to Abhi. "Thank you for doing this" she had said to him as he was leaving."Jeeju told me that he spoke to you. I can't explain myself right now Abhi, but I really appreciate what you've just done."

"It's all right Ishu" Abhi had told her. "I don't know what's going on in your mind, but the reason I agreed to postpone finalizing our engagement is that I hope that at the end of the fortnight, you will find it in your heart to accept my proposal. I didn't want you to refuse me now, or to get you into trouble with your parents. And after all, two weeks is a short time when we have a lifetime together. I hope".

Ishita had looked gravely at Abhi then. "Abhi..." she started falteringly, when he interrupted her. "Don't say anything now Ishita " He said with a shake of his head. " Just think about it please, and I hope you give me the answer I want in two weeks. I think we will be happy together Ishu".

And he had left.

The rest of the evening had been taken up in mundane tasks, her rings and thalli hidden under her kurti, her mehendi hidden by her unseasonal socks, and her secrets hidden in her aching heart.

She was tired; tired by the excitement of the day; by the emotions of hiding the most important event of her life from her family; by the deceit, albeit reluctant, that she was still engaging in with Abhi; and by the longing that radiated through her every time she thought of her husband.

But no matter how tired she was, she was still not sleepy. She knew she would not sleep until she saw him. He had promised they would meet tonight, the first night of their married life, and she knew he would keep his word.

The vibration of an incoming text message cut through her musings, and she hurriedly looked at her phone screen.

"Come outside now"

That was all it said. No "please". No "can you?" There was no request, no entreaty. Just an order, an order he made with absolute conviction. And it thrilled her.

She looked anxiously at the sleeping Mihika and slipped off the bed, thrusting her feet into her chappals on her way out of the room

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Ishita tiptoed through the living room and opened the front door, then closed it quietly the moment she was outside.

There was a bright light on in the foyer between the Bhalla and Iyer apartments, but the stairwell leading to the roof was relatively dark. It was in this darkness that she could see his dim outline.

"Ishita, quick, come here" he whispered.

She ran up to him and he grabbed her hand, pulling her further up the stairwell with him.

The next thing she knew, he had her pinned against the wall, his body pressing against hers as he held her hands flush against the wall, their fingers entwined. He said nothing, simply bent his head to hers and captured her lips with his.

She strained against him, equalling his fervour as he ground his lips against hers, his hot hard mouth sinking deeper and deeper into hers. She could hear gasps through the blood pounding in her ears, but she couldn't tell whether they came from her or from him. Her mouth ached from the pressure of his lips and tongue but it was a sweet ache, one that spread through her limbs and left her desperate for more.

He could feel every inch of her with his body as he pressed harder and closer against her, her softness crushed between him and the hardness of the wall behind her. He thought he heard her whimper and he forced himself to stop, tearing his mouth away from hers, before pulling her into his arms, holding her tight as she melted into him.

They remained like that for a few minutes, eyes closed, as their harsh breathing subsided, their heartbeats slowing back down to normal.

He finally opened his eyes and looked at her. Her lips were slightly parted, her cheeks flushed. His eyes adjusting to the dim light, he could make out the redness of her swollen lips.

"Did I do that?" He whispered, his eyes darkened with passion. She opened her eyes and looked into his, her tongue darting out to soothe her swollen lips.

"Hmm" she murmured.

"Mein ne dard di hai. Mujhe hi marham karne do" (I'm the one who hurt you. So let me be the one to soothe you) He touched her lips gently with the tips of his fingers, tracing her pout until she whimpered again, this time from longing.

"Shh baby let me make it better" he whispered as he took her by the shoulders, lowering her down with himself until they were both seated on the stairs, hidden from the world by the staircase and the night.

His hands slid down her shoulders, down her arms until they entwined again with hers. He bent his head to hers again, and ran his tongue gently over her lips, caressing and soothing where he had tormented her earlier.

"Raman" she whimpered, then shuddered as he lowered his lips on hers again, this time gently, showering her with love.

It was some minutes before he released her lips, pulling her into his arms as a recompense.

"Ishita?" he whispered, a question in her name.

"Hmmm" she replied, snug in his arms.

He cradled one of her hands between his, bringing it up to his lips.

"Are you happy?"

"Very" she smiled as he pressed a kiss on her palm.

"Yeh kya hai?" He asked, squinting through the dimness at the dot of henna on her palm. (What is this?)

"Mehendi" she replied. "Haathon mein laga nahi payi na, bas woh chota sa" (Mehendi, I couldn't put much on my hands, just this little bit)

"Tumhe toh hathoon par mera naam likhna tha na" (You were supposed to write my name on your hands, weren't you)

"Likha hai, bas hathoon par nahi" (I have written your name. Its just not on my hands)

"Is that right?" he pulled away slightly and looked at her in dawning surprise, then a devilish smile lit up his face. "Then let me look for it"

"Raman, not here" she whispered as he slid his hands along her waist, stopping at the slit in the fabric of her Kurta, his fingers cool on her warm bare waist.

"Lekin mujhe mera naam dhundhna hai" he whispered, his hands sliding beneath the fabric, softly caressing her waist. (But I have to find my name)

"Take me somewhere Raman, please." She whispered, biting her lips at the sensations that his roaming fingers evoked in her. He seemed no less affected, his breathing becoming ragged again as his hands inched upwards from her waist, his fingers trembling as she reached down and pulled his hands away, holding them tight as she looked at him with eyes darkened with desire.

"Saturday" he said, his voice hoarse. "We'll go away on Saturday. And then I'm going to search every inch for my name, samjhi. Every inch."

She coloured at the naked passion in his voice, but then her own desire won over her shyness. "Is that a promise?" She asked him and he groaned as he pulled her to him again.

"Yes" he said roughly, claiming her lips again. " Its a promise."

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"Come with me" he said a few minutes later, letting her go with reluctance as he pulled her to her feet. " Roof par chalte hai" (Let's go on the roof)

"Kya hai yeh?" ( What is this?) She asked as he opened the door leading to the roof, revealing a small concrete room at one side of the dark empty space, lit by a sole naked bulb.

"It's the water pump room biwi" he closed the door behind them, moving to stand beside her. The moonlight cast a silvery shimmer on them and his eyes drank in his fill of her, her white Kurta shining in the moonlight, her hair spread like a halo around her face.

"I can see that Raman. I meant this" she pointed to a sheet spread close to the room, underneath the light, with a bag on it.

"Oh, this? This is where I was bringing you when you distracted me on the stairs. Come, sit here with me." He knelt on the sheet and put out a hand to her. She took it with a smile and sat beside him.

He opened the bag with a flourish, pulling out a leather bound album. "Neel had these developed for us this afternoon, and he even put the album together. His wedding gift to us" he told her as she exclaimed in delight over their wedding photos.

"Raman, look at Ruhi, she looks so beautiful" She peered at the photos, her gaze immediately captured by the smiling face of their daughter.

"Just like her Ishima" he smiled at her, his own eyes shining with delight at the obvious love she had for his little Ruhi.

She turned the pages, lingering on a photo where he was tying the thalli around her neck. Her eyes were downcast, it was when she had been thinking of appa, she remembered. His eyes were on her,  as they had been in every single frame, looking at her with love and concern.

He jabbed at the photo. "Yahan kya soch rahi thi?" (What were you thinking here?)

She snuggled into him. "Bas, yahi ki appa nahi theh, amma nahi thi. Thoda sad ho gayi thi."
(It's just that amma and appa weren't there, I was a bit sad )

"You don't regret marrying me, do you Ishita?" She could hear the hurt in his voice, and his arms around her stiffened slightly.

"No, never. Aap upset mat ho please. Mein aap se apni dil ki har baat kehna chahti hoon Raman. When I'm happy. When I'm sad. Aap se kuch nahi chupana hai mujhe. I was so happy today. Aap se Shaadi karna, Ruhi ki mamma banna, ab mujhe aur kuch nahi chahiye. Lekin haan, ek choti si sadness thi, ki humme itna jhoot kehna pada, ki hamari puri family hamare saath nahi thi."
(No, never. Don't be upset please. I want to be able to tell you everything that's in my heart Raman. When I'm happy. When I'm sad. I don't want to hide anything from you. I was so happy today. Getting married to you, becoming Ruhi's mumma, I don't want anything else now. But yes, there is a little sadness, that we had to lie so much, that all our family couldn't be with us)

"I'm sorry baby"

He sighed and released her, taking a few steps away to stare pensively into the night sky.

He knew, he realised,  just how the complexities of his life had impacted on her, and how she had happily accepted those complexities, those difficulties, just for his sake. It was only natural that she should feel some sadness at the way events had developed, at the exclusion of her family from the most momentous day of her life. But the knowledge that he was the cause of her sadness weighed him down with guilt.

"Raman" He felt her arms go around him as she came up behind him, her voice soft and full of love. "Please don't apologise. I wanted this as much as you did. And I know, I know you will make everything right with amma and appa soon."

"I will Ishita" he promised, turning around and taking her into his arms again. "I'll make sure of it"

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They stood together, their bodies pressed against each other, hands entwined for many more minutes, content in their togetherness.

"Raman" she finally stirred. "Mujhe ab jaana hai" (I have to go now)

'No, not yet"

"Raman, kitni der ho gayi" (Raman, it's so late)

"Please jaan. Just stay a little longer"

"But Raman"

"Shhh" he tightened his arms around her. "You just got here. Abhi kaise jaogi?" (How can you go now?)

                        Abhi Abhi toh aayi ho
                        Bahar ban ke chayi ho
                        Hawa zara mehak toh le
                        Nazar zara behak toh le
                        Yeh shaam dhal toh le zara
                        Yeh dil sambhal toh le zara
                        Mein thodi der jee toh loon
                        Nashe ki ghoonth pee toh loon
                        Abhi toh kuch kaha nahi
                        Abhi toh kuch suna nahi

"Kab tak aise..." (How long can I ...)

"Bas thodi der aur" (Just a little while longer)

And the moonlight continued to bathe them with it's enchanting glow...

**********************************************************************************************************
Wednesday 3 September 2014
11.45 pm
Rooftop, Akash Ganga Society

"Aaj phir aisa kar rahe ho Raman" (You're being naughty again today Raman)

"Toh jaane ki zid kyon karti ho biwi?"  (Then why are you insisting on going biwi?)

He continued to shower delicate kisses on her face and neck, his hands moving proprietarily over her body.

"It's late na baba"

"Sirf thodi der ke liye hi toh milti ho. Saara din tarasta reh gaya, aur phir aa kar chali jaana chahti ho."
( You just came here a little while ago. I've been longing for you all day, and now you want to go)

"Raman, it's difficult for me too."

"I know baby, I'm sorry" He had shifted his ministrations from her face to her hair, caressing it gently as he bit her ear lobe softly.

"Chodo na" she moaned "I can't wait for Saturday, lekin abhi mujhe jaana hai, warna phir mein kabhi jaa nahi paongi"
( Leave me, please. I can't wait for Saturday, but right now I have to go, otherwise I'll never be able to)

"Toh kabhi mat jao"   (Then dont ever go) He pulled her close and sealed her lips with his, desperately trying to hold her back for a little while longer.

                        Sitaare jhilmila uthe
                        Chirag jagmaga uthe
                        Bas ab na mujh ko tokna
                        Na badh ke rah rokna
                        Agar mein rukh gayi abhi
                        Toh jaa na paongi kabhi
                        Yahi kahoge tum sada
                        Ki dil abhi nahi bhara

"Will the Saturday plan be ok, do you think ?" she asked when he finally released her.

"Oh ho, badi anxious ho Saturday ke liye?" He grinned wickedly at her. ( You're very anxious for Saturday)

"Kyun, aap nahi ho?" She asked him shyly, but her eyes challenged his. (Why, aren't you?)

"I'm not anxious, I'm desperate. Lekin sirf tumhaare jeeju hi planning nahi jaante Mrs Bhalla. Don't underestimate your husband." (I'm not anxious, I'm desperate. But it's not just your jeeju who knows how to plan Mrs Bhalla. Don't underestimate your husband)

"Haan, lekin aap ki is plan mei toh saara acting mujhe hi karna padega na" (Yes, but I'm the one that has to do all the acting in your plan)

"True, but idea toh meri hai" (True, but the idea is mine) He smirked back at her.

"Accha suno, hum Ruhi ko saath lekar chale" (Okay, listen, let's take Ruhi with us)

"No"

"But Raman, kitni kam samay milti hai mujhe Ruhi ke saath. Aur next week Family Court social workers ke saath interview bhi hai. Aur phir hum do dino ke liye jaa rahe hai na, kya kuch der? Please?"
(But Raman I get such little time with her. And we have the interview with the Family Court social workers next week. And we are going for two days. Can't we just for a little while?)

"Yaar, you ruin all my surprises. Ruhi will come to us on Sunday. Mihir and Rinki will get her. But your Saturday is just for me,understood?"

"Understood"

And the stars twinkled down as the newlyweds cuddled in each other's arms ...

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Thursday 4 September 2014
11.30 pm
Rooftop, Akash Ganga Society

"Why can't you stay Ishita?"

"Miku was very restless Raman. If she wakes up and sees I'm gone, then what will happen?"

"Yaar, yeh Mihika bhi" (Yaar, this Mihika I tell you)

Raman groaned in frustration and folded his arms across his chest, staring at his wife in mute protest.

"Raman, Mihika is very suspicious. I told everyone today that I have a dental camp in the weekend, and she was asking for so many details. It's a good thing you got me the registration for an actual camp, or else I would have made some mistake. I'm not used to lying like this Raman. And then she wants to come with me. Plus she's always trying to sneak a look at my feet. And she's curious about these 2 choodis that I'm wearing."

Ishita was on the verge of tears. The constant lying, the sneaking around, was getting to her. She was constantly busy trying to hide her reality from her family, and she was barely able to spend any time with Raman and Ruhi in any event.

With Raman, all she had were these sneaky visits and stolen kisses on the rooftop. They had agreed that visits to each other's offices or meeting outside was simply too fraught with danger for now. Ruhi, she managed to play with a little in the afternoons, when Ruhi could come away to her unobserved by the Bhallas. She also visited her every day at school for a little while, just spending time with her, listening to her stories and showering her with cuddles. She wasn't able to be a mother though - wasn't able to feed her, to prepare her for school, to put her to bed. And she wasn't able to be a wife to Raman.

Raman looked at the tears welling in his wife's eyes and his own complaints forgotten, pulled her into his arms.

"Sorry, I'm sorry sweetheart. Don't cry, please. You're right, you're right. I'll call you later, ok. Go now."

Ishita remained in his arms, her arms fastened around his waist.

"Ab nahi jaana?" He asked softly. (Don't want to go now?)

                          Adhoori aas chod ke
                        Adhoori pyaas chod ke
                        Jo Roz yunhi jaogi
                        Toh kis tarah nibhaogi
                        Ki zindagi ki rah mein
                        Jawaan dilon ki chah mein
                        Kai makaam aayenge
                        Jo humko aazmayenge
                        Bura na mano baat ka
                        Yeh pyar hai gila nahi

"Ja rahi hoon, na" and she snuggled deeper into his arms. (I am going)

"Ishita?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you"

"I love you more"

"Meri Jhansi ki Rani. Isme bhi jeetna hai?" ( My warrior Queen. You need to win on this too?)

"Raman, ab aap ko Saturday ko hi miloongi" (Raman, I'll meet you on Saturday now)

"Theek hai" (Okay)

"Mujhe kal nahi milo ge aur theek hai?" (I'm saying I won't meet you tommorow and you're saying it's fine?)

"Matarani, mainu bachalo" (Matarani, save me) She mock hit him and he put his hands up in self defense, calling on the Goddess to save him with a laugh.

"Everything will be allright, na"

"Yes, everything will be perfect. Paagal madrassan" (Mad madrassan)

"Iske baad, aur jhoot nahi Raman" (No more lies after this Raman)

"Ok sweetheart, no more lies"

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                        Abhi na jao choddhkar
                        Ki dil abhi bhara nahi            
                     
                        Haan yehi kaho ge tum sada
                        Ki dil abhi nahi bhara

                        Abhi na jao choddhkar
                        Ki dil abhi bhara nahi