Sunday 12 October 2014
Continued...

The rays of the setting sun bathed the suite in its ebbing glow as she jerked awake.

She was leaning against the sofa, sitting on a soft shaggy rug. His head was cradled in her lap, his face smooth in sleep, all his worries erased, his sooty black lashes nesting on his tear stained cheeks.

Ishita rubbed her sleep riddled eyes, then looked lovingly at her sleeping husband. She slowly lifted one hand and tenderly, with infinite care, smoothed the hair on his brow. He looked so defenceless, so vulnerable, this beloved husband of hers.

He may be Raavan to the world, the suave in control alpha male, but he had shed all his inhibitions before her, had let her into his innermost soul, had laid his being, his psyche naked for her.

She continued to softly caress his head as she reflected on the past few hours...

***************************************

Raman had sunk into her arms as soon as they entered their room, his body shaking as he held her tightly, burying his face in her neck.

"I don't deserve you" he had said. "I don't deserve to be loved like this. Is pyar ka mujhe koi haq nahi hai Ishita." ( I have no right to your love Ishita)

"Hai" she had told him, caressing his back, pulling him even closer to herself. "You deserve only me and I deserve only you Raman, I love you, I love you so much"

For the next few hours, he had laid bare his soul to her, and she had done the same.

They had spoken about themselves to each other before, had opened up emotionally before. That very first night they had spent together, in the chalet in New Zealand, when he had told her about Adi. Those nights in the hospital when they had confronted their fear of losing each other.

Yet this was different. Today they had left nothing unsaid. She had been touched by the faith her husband showed, the trust he reposed in her, by opening up his darkest moments, his tortured soul before her.

He had trembled in her arms as he confided in her about how he had discovered that Shagun was cheating on him - the missed calls, cryptic messages in her phone, her careless explanations and her lies even as she set about wrecking his home. He cried as he described how he had watched his son being torn away from him; how he had wanted to die, to give up, but his crying baby, and his slowly igniting anger had given him the will to live.

They had spent the day engrossed in each other, sharing their stories, giving each other comfort. Ishita knew that they were setting the foundations for their lives together, and she knew that she had nothing to fear from this man, this relationship.

She marvelled at the many facets of her husband - the ruthless business man, the strength of his family, was today replaced by a vulnerable father, overwhelmed by his love for the child he had lost, yet determined to set things right with the help of the love he had gained.

He clung to her with a desperation that moved her soul. "It's okay Raman" she had whispered to him, over and over again. "We will do this together. Everything will be fine with Adi. With us."

He opened up to her about the nights he had cried himself to sleep, his tears soaking his pillow, or the other nights when he had drunk himself into oblivion, or sought comfort in meaningless sexual encounters that left him feeling hollow inside.

"I really thought she was the love of my life Ishita" he told her, and she had stroked his face, trying to comfort him even as her heart sank. "I thought I was finished, that I was lost forever without her."

He must have seen the sadness in her eyes, for he had pulled her fiercely to himself.

"I was wrong" he said fiercely. "I was so wrong. I didn't even know what love was until you showed me. You're my first love, my only love. Sab kuch ho tum meri. Sab kuch"

She had sought reassurance too.

She had told him about Subbu - the dreams they had shared together through their teenage years to adulthood, the expectations she had of her future with him, the family she had always dreamt of having. And then the way in which he had cruelly dumped her.

"Baanjh Raman" she had whispered through her tears. "That's what they call me. Baanjh. And Subbu, he didn't want me if I couldn't give him a family. He didn't want me because I am baanjh"

His mouth had tightened with anger at the very mention of Subbu. Now, when she uttered the ugly word which had defined her in the recent past, that seething anger had reached his eyes too.

"Stop it" he had told her angrily, pulling her up from the sofa they were on, cradling her face in his hands, his eyes boring into hers. "You are never to use that word again about my love. Never. You are Ruhi's mother. You are my Ishita, You are not that ugly word so don't you ever use it again."

Tears had dropped unchecked from her eyes as she heard the love in his voice, saw the protectiveness in his stance. He had wrapped her in his arms then, soothing her as she had him earlier.

"You've never even tried to get pregnant" he told her, rocking her in his arms. "You've just accepted one diagnosis. There's so many fertility treatments these days Ishita. If you want, if you will agree, then we can see a fertility specialist, we can try Ishita"

"I don't know Raman" she had whispered. "You, Ruhi, now Adi... I already have a family. I don't know if I want to go through treatment...what if it doesn't work? What if I disappoint you.."

"Paagal " he pulled her closer. " You could never disappoint me. And we have plenty of time. You don't need to make any decisions now"

**************************************
She didn't remember when she had fallen asleep. The last thing she could recall was cradling his head in her hands as he lay on her lap, humming softly as she watched him, content just to be with him, wanting for nothing....

"I love you baby" she whispered aloud now. "Jaan ho aap meri" ( You're my life)

"Achha?" His eyes flew open and he was gazing at her with a mixture of love and mischief. "Itni aachi baatein mere saamne kyun nahi karti?" (Is that right? Why dont you ever say such nice things in front of me?)

She blushed and gazed at him in confusion.

"Aap ke saamne hi toh kar rahi hoon na" (I am saying it in front of you)

"Haan, lekin tumhe toh yeh lag raha tha ki mein soya hua hoon, hmm?"
(Yes but you thought I was sleeping didnt you?)

He sat up and ran his hand through his hair, pulling her into his arms. "Kyun madrassan?" (what say my madrassan?)

"Ramann "

"Time kya hua?" He looked out the window at the setting sun, then pulled her hand towards him, glancing at her watch. "Bahoot bhukh lagi hai yaar. Dinner par chalen?"
(Whats the time? I'm really hungry yaar. Shall we go for dinner?)

***********************************
They had dinner in the hotel's award winning Italian restaurant, lingering over the perfectly cooked pasta and delicate sauces.

"They don't serve idlis here sweetheart" he had joked with her as he ordered champagne for himself and orange juice for her.

"I don't just eat idli's Raman" she had protested, pouting at him, drawing laughter from him.

"Achha? Toh roz kya khilaogi batao" he had countered, raising his glass in a toast to her.
(Is that right? Then what will you feed me everyday?)

"Raman" Ishita looked at him in dismay. "I don't know....I mean, I'll learn, but will mummyji expect me to cook everyday, and...."

"Slow down, slow down" He laughingly interrupted her. "You're my wife, not the new cook in Bhalla house. And yes, mummyji will expect you to cook sometimes I suppose, but only if you want to. You're a busy career woman, and no one will expect you to become a tv bahu, samjhi? Lekin haan,mere liye Italian banana padega. Neelu aur mummy ko nahi aata"(But Yes, you'll have to make Italian for me. Neither Neelu or mummy know how to)

"But I don't know how to make Italian either, Raman" she had told him gravely, a worried look on her face. "I'll have to learn"

"Don't worry" he had laughed. "Jo bhi banaogi share karlenge. Saath saath narak ka darshan karenge" (We will share whatever you make. We can visit the hells of cuisine together)

After dinner, they had sat together in the hotels jazz bar, listening to the live music, he crooning to her, and she persuading him to replace his whisky with her orange juice, giggling as he crinkled his nose in disgust at the taste.

Back in their room, they had sunk into each other's arms once again, not wanting to let go.

"Aadat ho gayi hai tumhaari" he whispered as he cradled her in his arms. "Ab tumhaare bina so nahi paonga" (I've developed a habit for you. Now I wont be able to sleep without you)

"Office trips par jaana padega toh kya karoge?" she  asked mischievously as she caressed his bare chest. (What will you do when you have to go on office trips?)

"I'll take you with me, what else?"

"And who will do my work then? I'm a busy career woman, remember. I don't think Dr Batra will appreciate it if I just take off all the time. Besides, Ruhi aur Adi ke bina mein nahi aaongi. Aur unko school bhi jaana hoga na? Toh Mr Bhalla Aap ko mere bina sone ki aadat phir se daalni hogi"
(And who will do my work then? I'm a busy career woman, remember. I don't think Dr Batra will appreciate it if I just take off all the time. Besides, I won't come without Adi and Ruhi. And they have to go to school, right? So Mr Bhalla, you will just have to learn again to sleep without me)

He turned her around and pinned her underneath him, his eyes blazing as he looked at her.

"I'll just send Mihir then" he whispered, before capturing her lips in a slow lingering kiss. She was gasping when he finally pulled away " I'm serious Ishita. I'm addicted to you. I can't stay away from you. I can't"

"Raman" she melted before the fire in his eyes, her teasing retorts dying on her lips. "I can't live without you either Raman. I love you"

***********************************
"Thank you for the past two days" she whispered, much later, as they lay curled in each other's arms.

He smiled at her, a chuckle escaping him. "You don't need to thank me jaan. I'm just sorry we can't have a longer honeymoon, that I can't take you away somewhere."

"Baad mein chalenge Raman, baccho ke saath"
(We will go later Raman, with the children)

"Bacche saath honge toh ye kaise karenge?"
(And how will we do this if the kids are around?)

"I meant on a holiday Raman"

"And I meant just you and me. Listen Ishita, promise me something"

"Kya?" (What?)

"Yahi ki hum kitne bhi busy ho jaye, kitni bhi commitments aa jaye, kaam ke, baccho ke, family ki, we will always make time for each other, hmm."
(Just that no matter how busy we are, no matter how many commitments we have, whether its work, or the children or the family. we will always make time for each other)

"Of course Raman"

"Date nights par jayenge, sirf tum aur mein" (We will go on date nights, just you and I)

"Theek hai" (Yes)

"Aur apni anniversary par laut kar yahan aayenge. Isi tarah. For a weekend. Away from everyone. Promise me" (And for every anniversary, we will come back here. Just like this. For a weekend. Away from everyone. Promise me)

"I promise"

"Waada"

"Waada"

Ab toh hai tumse har khushi apni
Tum pe marna hai zindagi apni
Ab toh hai tumse har khushi apni

Jab ho gaya tumpe yeh dil deewana
Phir chahe jo bhi kahe hum ko zamaana
Koi banaye baate chahe ab jitni
Ab toh hai tumse har khushi apni

Tere pyaar mein badnaam dur dur ho gaye
Tere saath hum bhi sanam mashoor ho gaye
Dekho kahan le ayi bekhudi apni
Ab toh hai tumse har khushi apni