Sunday 28 January 2017
5pm
Delhi Airport

Raman held his hand out to his wife as she walked down the steps from the plane. Their private jet had not been able to find a slot in Shimla airports busy post closure schedule, but they had finally managed to find seats on a commercial flight at 4pm that afternoon. The airport being closed for the past two days had caused a backlog of flights and no matter how much he fumed, Mr Bhalla had not been able to talk his way into leaving Shimla sooner than they finally had.

Now they had finally landed and were finally on their way home. Raman scowled as he remembered the frustrating delays of the day, but his scowl transformed into a smile as his wife put her hand in his. If there had been one thing that had kept him going through the frustrations of the day, it had been her presence. After the torment of his memory loss, the emotional storms of the past few days, and the passionate reunion of the previous night, her proximity, her smile, her love, had sustained him today.

"Kya hua baba?" she asked softly, her hand in his as they joined the other passengers walking into the terminal building. "Abhi bhi naaraz ho kya? Lekin ab toh hum ghar aa gaye na?" (What's wrong babe? Are you still angry? But we are home now)

He smiled down at her, love flooding up inside him at having her by him. She looked so beautiful in a sky blue shalwar suit, so ethereal, so demure. Nothing remained of the bold vixen who had matched wits and lips with him the night before. She was so fascinating, this wife of his. His greatest strength, his biggest weakness, a passionate lover one moment, a doting mother the next. A doting mother. The mother of his babies. The babies he had forgotten. Guilt rose up again and he shook his head, wondering anew at how anyone could forget their own flesh and blood.

"Naaraz nahi hoon" ( I'm not angry) he sighed, squeezing her fingers tightly. "I just want to see them so much Ishita."

"I know jaan. Just a little while longer" she let his hand go with reluctance as they reached the baggage claim area, watching with undisguised love as he deftly grabbed a trolley and then maneuvered his way to the front of the thronging passengers. She understood his anxiety, his need to go home and see his children. He had been through so much and she was still so worried by the headaches that seemed to momentarily overwhelm him from time to time. She needed to get her stubborn husband back to see Dr Kumar, but first she needed to get him home to his babies.

It was over half an hour before they had managed to retrieve their bags and leave the terminal and her husband was seething again as they approached the taxi rank. Due to the uncertainties over their flight time, Ishita had told Mihir that they would find their own way home. However, it seemed like all the returning passengers were catching taxis today, with an unholy racket at the taxi stand. Finally, however, they were able to get a taxi, only to get stuck in a traffic jam halfway to home.

She had sat close to him the entire time in the taxi, distracting him with her chatter, calming him when his frustrations threatened to blow up in invectives at their driver, other road users and the world in general. And then the taxi drew up at the Akash Ganga apartment complex. They were home.

****************************
Raman and Ishita's Apartment
"Mihir, you said akka and jeeju were on the 4 o clock flight na? It's almost 7.00pm budhu. Why aren't they here yet?" Mihika looked up at her husband in exasperation.

"Yaar Miku. I called the airport. You heard me. The flight landed late, and they are saying on the news that there's a huge traffic jam on the off ramp near the airport too because of the cricket. Woh mobile utha nahi rahe hai, toh iss se zyada mein nahi jaanta. Aa jayenge, stop worrying." (They aren't picking up the phone so I can't do any more)

Mihir rolled his eyes at his wife and then chucked his baby nephew on the chin, before hoisting him high in the air.

"Silly chithi" He crowed to his giggling nephew. "She's such a silly billy."

"Mihir, no" Mihika got up deftly from the sofa and plucked Ishaan from his chachu's arms. "He just had his milk. Stop throwing him around, or he will throw up."

"Yaar Mihika, you're paranoid" Mihir reluctantly let go off Ishaan, who tried to get back into his chachu's arms.

"Whatever" Mihika retorted, shushing Ishaan as she tried inexpertly to  burp him. "You don't realize what a huge responsibility the babies are. It was fine when we were all with auntyji and periamma but I've been so worried having them alone for the last hour. I have to hand them both to akka safe and sound. I didn't tell her Raashi was so upset all weekend. Waise bhi she is so worried about jeeju. And then the delay in coming back today. You know she hasn't ever left the babies overnight before. So she must be worried about them and about jeeju. And she didn't say jeeju remembered anything either."

"You're hardly alone Miku. Aarti is upstairs too. With Raashi' Mihir said with a laugh. Then he sobered as his smile turned to a frown. "But listen. About bhai. You know, I'm starting to get really concerned about bhai's condition now. I thought he would have remembered everything by now. But what if... what if he never does Miku?"

"Don't say that Mihir" Mihika drew Ishaan closer just as the doorbell rang.

****************************
Ishita looked at her husband compassionately as he paused at the door to their apartment. She knew from the grimace on his face that his headache was back, but she also knew just how much he wanted to see his babies again. He had walked past his parents front door, anxious to meet the babies before he met anyone else. Ishita knew the twins would be at their apartment, since she hadn't told anyone that Raman had regained his lost memory.

"Raman" she smiled at her husband, her hand on his arm as he impatiently pressed the doorbell. "I'll just look for my keys. They might be next door."

But just then Mihir pushed the door open.

"Bhai" he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up with delight as he saw his bhabhi standing close by, her hand on Raman's. "Kya aap...?" (Have you...)

"Bache kahan hai Mihir?" (Where are the children Mihir?) Raman brushed past his friend and strode purposefully into the living room. He stopped in his tracks as Mihika turned towards the door, Ishaan in her arms.

"Ishaan" he whispered, eyes filling with sudden tears at the sight of his son. "Ishaan."

Ishita and Mihir had both reached him and Mihir stopped by his bhai, putting an arm around his shoulder as Ishita walked up to her smiling sister, taking her eager gurgling baby into her arms as he held chubby arms out to her.

Ishaan cooed in delight and hid his face in his mother's chest as Ishita cuddled him close, inhaling his dewy milky baby smell, dropping a series of kisses on his silky head. She held him quietly for a second then walked up to where his teary eyed father was standing, just as Mihir stepped away unobtrusively.

"Ye lo jaan" she smiled, tears filling her own eyes as she watched with compassion the mixture of love, longing and anxiety on her husband's face. "Aap ka chotu Rajnikanth." (Here you are my love. Your little Superstar)

"Ishaan" Raman found his voice again as he stretched out a hand to caress his son's head. "Hey Papa's little man. Do you remember papa?"

"Of course I remember you papa" Ishita spoke for her baby as she urged his head away from her chest, turning him around to face his father. "I'm just feeling a little shy" She kissed Ishaan head again as she spoke to him now. "Ishaan. Look betu. Papa is here. Go to papa."

Ishaan Raman Bhalla, snuggled safely in his mother's arms, turned his big brown eyes to gaze at the man who was staring at him. At just six months of age, his capacity for reasoned thinking was low. He knew what he knew. And he loved what he loved. Milk. Cuddles. Playing with his big brother. Biting his sisters with his two teeth. Pulling the hair of the cuddly grandmas who doted on him. Being with this woman who held him close and who kissed him every time he was unhappy until he broke into giggles. Mumma. And he knew and loved this man with tears in his eyes. Papa. Mumma and papa were his world and he loved them instinctively. Papa hadn't been around for a while but mumma had said he would be back. And here he was.

And so Ishaan Raman Bhalla grinned with his two teeth at his father while snuggling against his mother's chest.

"Goo... ga" he said delightedly, his baby talk ending with a shriek. "Gaaaa" He hid his face for a second and then raised his head again to stare at his father. "Gaaa" he hissed as he held out two chubby arms. "Gaaaa"

Tears feel unheeded down Raman's face as he plucked his baby son from his wife's arms, holding him tight, never wanting to let go.

"Ishaan" he whispered over and over, as he held his son against his chest, his arms cradling him tenderly as he dropped a hundred kisses onto his head. "Beta, I'm sorry. I love you beta. Papa is sorry."

Ishaan cuddled close to his papa. He felt safe. He felt secure. He felt at home. Papa always made him feel safe. But there was something wet on his hair. He didn't like that. "Gaa" he protested, squirming until his father held him away slightly.

"Bas karo Raavan Kumar. Bhiga doge bachhe ko kya?" (Stop it now Raavan Kumar. Do you want to soak the baby?) Ishita smiled through her own tears as she caressed the heads of both her son and her husband. She knew her husband's unspoken fear had been that his babies would not recognize him, that they would not want to come to him. Ishaan had truly laid those fears to rest and she gazed proudly at her son.

"Tell silly papa not to cry Ishaan" she smiled, as she used her dupattta to wipe her husband's eyes and face. "Enough jaan" Her own tears were threatening again as she smiled tremulously at her husband. "Everything is fine now, isn't it? Hmmm? Raman? Jaan. It's okay."

Raman smiled through his tears at his wife, nodding his head, not trusting himself to speak. He looked from her to the baby he held in his arms, the baby who looked so much like his mother. "Hey Rajnikanth" he finally laughed, his voice shaking, as Ishaan grabbed at his hair with his plump little fists. "Fighting karna hai papa ke saath?" (So you want to fight with papa?)

He threw his son up into the air and caught him securely as Ishaan screamed with delighted laughter, and Ishita gazed adoringly at the duo.

"Jiju, no" Mihika, who had been standing at the sidelines with Mihir cried out now. "He just had his milk."

"He seems okay, don't you mere chote?" Raman held his son securely once more as he looked to see if his baby was okay. "But no more jumping."

"Papa" A voice from the door exclaimed delightedly and Raman and Ishita both turned around as Adi and Ruhi rushed into the room. "Aap ko yaad aa gaya?" (Have you remembered everything?)

"Haan Beta" (Yes son) Raman still held  Ishaan, one arm securely around him as he pulled first Adi and then Ruhi into his embrace. "Thank you beta. Mumma told me how much you two have helped her the last few weeks with the twins. Thank you so much."

Adi grinned at his father as his little brother shrieked delightedly, then pulled at his hair. "Ouch Ishaan" He mock cried. "I'm telling papa on you."

Ishita gazed adoringly at her children with their father and then her smile slipped as she realized that there was one piece of this puzzle still missing.

"Miku, Raashi kahan hai?" (Miku, where is Raashi?) She asked her cousin quietly as she moved to her side, away from the din the children were making around their papa.

"Akka, she wasn't feeling too happy. She didn't want to feed either. Aarti took her to your room. She said she would try to feed her there."

"I'll just go and see" Ishita walked up to her husband. "Raman, mein Raashi ko dekhti hoon." (Raman, I'll go and see to Raashi)

"I'll come too Ishita" her husband said immediately, holding back his baby son as he tried to grab at his older brother and sister. "Ishaan ko bhaiya aur didi ke saath khelna hai. Aur papa ko apni beti se bhi milna hai." (Ishaan wants to play with his brother and his sister. And papa wants to meet his little daughter)

Ishita nodded and took Ishaan from his father, giving her son a tight cuddle before placing him in his brother's arms. "Not too rough beta, he just had his milk" she said as she gave first Adi, then Ishaan and then Ruhi quick kisses on their cheeks. "Papa and I will just go and see Raashi."

"Raashi has been crying since you left Ishima" Ruhi announced as her mother stared at her in dismay. "Chithi said not to worry you since you were stuck in the snow so we didn't tell you."

Ishita looked at her husband and saw her anxiety reflected in his face. And then, as her cousin tried to explain, she took her husband's hand as they rushed up the staircase.

*************************
Raman and Ishita's bedroom
Raman heard his daughter before they reached the room. She was crying. A tired, heartbroken cry that pierced his heart like shards of broken glass. He turned to his wife, tears springing up again in his eyes.

'Ishita" he whispered. "We shouldn't have left her. She..she sounds so..."

Guilt was tearing away at Ishita as well as she urged her husband forward.

"It's okay Raman" she said reassuringly as they reached the door to their bedroom, their daughters cries louder now. "We are here now. She will be fine." And she pushed open the door.

*************************
Raashi was in her crib, a full bottle of milk by her side, and Aarti was sitting by the crib, rocking it gently as she tried to croon a lullaby to the sobbing baby. She jumped up as the door opened and Ishita and Raman entered the room.

"Ma'am, aap aa gayi. Sir, aap bhi. Baby sirf ro rahi hai. Mujhse chup hi nahi hoti." (Ma'am you are here. Sir, you too. Baby just won't stop crying. I can't do anything)

"It's ok Aarti, tum jao. Hum hai" (It's ok Aarti. You can go. We are here) Ishita rushed to the crib, her heart sinking as her daughter continued to cry piteously, eyes scrunched closed. She reached into the crib as her husband remained rooted to a spot just inside the door, barely acknowledging Aarti who looked at him with undisguised curiously as she left the room, closing the door behind her.

"Raashi darling" she whispered as she touched her daughters face tenderly. "Mumma is here."

*************************
Raashi Raman Bhalla did not know why she was crying. There had been so many people around her today, but she didn't want any of them. Not the soft and cuddly grandmothers who spoke to her in sing song voices. Not the harassed looking nurse who kept putting her in her crib. Not her twin who pulled her hair. Or her big brother or sister who pulled funny faces to make her laugh. Or her worried looking aunties or uncles. No, she didn't want any of them. What she wanted was the man with the deep voice who called her his princess. Papa. But he had gone away. And then the soft cuddly mumma who hugged her and kissed her over and over. She had gone too. Raashi wanted them both. Mumma and papa. But they were not here. And so she had been crying. And not wanting to have her milk. And she was so hungry now. So she had cried some more.

But then she smelt mumma's perfume. And she heard mumma's footsteps. And now mumma's voice. Calling her name.

And then mumma's touch.

And so Raashi opened her eyes.

"Raashi. My princess. Meri jaan. Kyun ro tahi hai meri gudiya? Mumma is here betu." (Raashi my princess my love. What happened to my doll? Mumma is here darling) Ishita spoke softly to her little daughter as Raashi started at her accusingly.

So mumma was back. But why had she left Raashi? Where had she been? Raashi had thought mumma would never come back again. Just like papa never had. She continued to glare at her mother and then her eyes filled with tears as she let out a loud cry holding plump little arms out to her mother.

"Baby I'm so sorry" Ishita pulled her baby into her arms, cradling her gently as the little girl continued to cry loudly in her mothers arms. "Mumma won't leave you again. I'm sorry darling. Shhh, ab bas princess. No more crying, mumma is here." She continued to rock the baby until Raashi's tears subsided and she smiled at her mother, pursuing her lips and sucking as she tried to let her know she was hungry.

"Are you hungry my darling?" Ishita grabbed the bottle that Aarti had been trying to feed Raashi with and held it to her baby, who immediately grabbed at it and started to suck hungrily. Ishita smiled and stroked her daughters head as she gulped hungrily from the bottle. Then she looked up with a start as she realized her husband wasn't next to her.

He was still standing by the door, tears in his eyes, staring at his wife and daughter.

"Raman, come here, she's fine, she was just hungry." She smiled encouragingly at her husband.

Raman shook his head, guilt racking through him again. She was silent now, but his daughters cries still rang in his ears. She was so tiny, so defenseless. And he had abandoned her. Ishaan had been fine. He loved his mumma, his bhaiya. He had been fine with them. But his daughter. His daughter had been so attached to him. And she had suffered in his absence. He remembered that Ishita had had to take time off work last week to be with her, had had to take her to the doctor. And then Ruhi saying that Raashi had been crying all weekend. Because her mother had had to leave her, had had to run around after him, to try and heal him. He was supposed to be their protector, but he had failed them. He had failed them badly.

He shook his head and stumbled to their bed, sitting down, his face in his hands as his guilt and his fears threatened to overwhelm him.

"Raman" Ishita cried out worriedly, looking from her feeding daughter to her crying husband. "Kya hua? Is your head.."

He heard the anxiety in her voice and pulled himself together, putting his hand out to stop her as she got up, baby in her arms, one hand supporting the bottle Raashi had almost finished drinking.

"I'm fine Ishita" he said in a voice that was anything but fine. "Don't disturb her please."

But Raashi Raman Bhalla had heard her father's voice. Her little eyes sparkled as she stopped sucking, her little hands pulling the bottle away. She looked curiously at her worried looking mother.

"Aga ga ba?" She asked her mother, her eyes darting around, trying to see where that voice had come from. The most beloved sound in the world. Her papa's voice.

Ishita smiled down at her daughter, then turned her head to look at her husband. They were so much alike these two. They acted tough and yet they were as soft as marshmallows inside. And they loved each other in a way that was special to them, that even she could not comprehend. But there was something she could do. She could re-introduce Ms Raashi Raman Bhalla to Mr Raman Kumar Bhalla. And then she would go and bring her other three children into the room, so that their papa could be surrounded by so much love that all the pain of the past month would be erased forever.

"Raashi darling" she said aloud, as she got up with her daughter in her arms. "Dekho kaun aaya hai." (Look who is here) And then she walked up to their bed.

*************************
Raman stiffened as his wife got up with their daughter. What if Raashi rejected him. How would he bear it if his daughter didn't want him? He would deserve it of course, but how could he bear it?

But Ishita was coming towards him. And he couldn't let Raashi see him crying. And so he wiped his face and looked up.

Raashi looked curiously at the man on the bed as her mother carried her over. He looked scared, like her twin brother looked when she bit him. And then her mumma sat down beside him. And he looked at her, and she smelt his special smell, and she recognized him. Papa.

Raman had wiped his tears but they flooded his eyes again as his wife sat beside him, their baby in her arms. Raashi was looking up curiously at him, her eyes holding a question. For a moment, an acrid fear rushed through him. She hadn't recognized him. She didn't know him. Then he saw recognition in her eyes, and tears tumbled down his.

"Hullo my princess" he whispered through his tears. "Raashi....come...come to papa beta."

Raashi continued to stare at her papa. Where had he been all this time? She had missed him. She had cried for him. But he hadn't come.

Tears flooded her eyes too, as she started accusingly at her father. And then she started to cry again, hiding her face in her mother's chest as her father's tears matched hers.

"Kya ho raha hai yeh?" Ishita looked bewilderingly from her daughter to her husband. "Raashi, it's papa my darling.Go to papa betu. Papa wapas aa gaye, ab kahin nahi jaayenge Raashi ko chod har. Raman take her." (What is happening here? Raashi it's papa my darling.Go  to papa baby. Papa is back now and he"ll never leave Raashi again. Raman, take her)

"But Ishita she...."

"She's your carbon copy Raman. She is angry with you, but it's just for show. Just take her. Everything will be fine." Ishita dislodged her daughter from her chest and held her up to her father. "Go to papa darling" she said softly. "Papa needs Raashi right now. Tell papa not to cry please darling."

Raashi started at her crying father and her sobs increased. But she also held out her plump little arms to him. "Pa" she said.

Raman stared at his daughter in disbelief and then pulled her into his arms in a fierce hug. He kissed her head, her face, her arms, and back to her face, smothering her with his kisses and his tears. She loved him. She remembered him. And she had called him pa.

"Raashi" he whispered over and over as he cradled his daughter in his arms, stroking her back as she gurgled against his chest. "My princess. My baby. I love you. I'm so sorry. Beta papa is so sorry,so sorry."

Ishita sat back and looked with pride at her husband and her daughter, blinking away her own tears. If today was any indication of her husband's emotional attachment to his daughter, then she dreaded the day that Raashi got married. Her tough guy CEO husband would cry the bride and brides mother into submission, from the look of things.

"Nirupa Roy" she whispered, reaching out to gently wipe his face before adding her own hand to his as he cradled their baby.

"Kya?" He whispered to her. (What?)

"Aap itna rote ho ki saari building ki aunties saath milkar nahi roti" she responded with a laugh. "Bilkul Nirupa Roy ho aap." (You cry more than all the aunties in the building combined. You're a complete melodramatic movie mom)

"You're just jealous" he grinned back at her.

Their daughter had perked up at the sound of her mother's voice and he turned her around, sitting her in his lap as he bestowed yet more kisses on her head.

"Why should I be jealous" Ishita smiled back as she added to the kisses her husband was bestowing on their daughter. "My daughter loves me just as much."

He smiled and then caught his wife's hand in his, bringing it up to his lips for a lingering kiss. "Thank you madrassan" he whispered.

"Why thank you Raman?"

"For keeping our family together when I wasn't in my senses. For never giving up on me. For loving all of us so much."

It was Ishita's turn to cry now at the love in her husband's voice, and she shifted closer to him, putting her head on his shoulder as Raashi stared at them curiously. "Pa" their daughter yelled out, pushing at her mother.

"Hear that madrassan" Raman laughed in delight as his wife mock scowled at their little girl. "My baby is jealous of you now."

"Raashi say ma"Ishita bent done to tickle her daughter. "Say ma too" Raashi began to laugh and it was then that there was a knock on the door and the next instant Adi had come barging in, Ishaaan in his arms, Ruhi close on his heels.

"He's looking for you Ishima" he said as Ishita held her arms out for her son. Ruhi meanwhile had settled next to her father and was looking at her smiling sister in wonder. "She's not crying anymore papa" she cried out.

"She was missing papa" Raman said, pulling Ruhi close to him and giving her a gentle kiss as well. "Did you miss me too baby?"

"Haan papa. And I missed us all being together." Ruhi said as she snuggled next to her papa. Ruhi was growing up fast but there were times when she was happy just being papa's little girl again.

"Ruhi is right papa" Adi also chimed in from his spot next to Ishita. "It's no fun being away from Ishima and the babies."

"We will always be together now" Raman promised as he smiled at his family. " Nothing will ever separate us again."

saat samundar paar ke
gudiyo ke baazaar se
achhi si gudiya laana
gudiya chaahe na laana
pappa jaldi aa jaana

tum pardes gaye jab se
bas ye haal hua tab se
dil deewana lagta hai
ghar veerana lagta hai
jhilmil chaand sitaaron ne
darawazon deewaron ne
sabne poochha hai ham se
kab ji chhootega gam se
kab ji chhootega gam se
kab hoga unka aanaa, pappa 

maa bhi lori nahi gaati
ham ko neend nahi aati
khel khilaune toot gaye
sangi saathi chhoot gaye
jeb hamaari khaali hai
aur baasi deewali hai
ham sabko na tadpaao
apne ghar wapas aao
apne ghar wapas aao
aur kabhi phir na jana, pappa 

khat na samjho taar hai ye
kaagaz nahi hai pyar hai ye
doori aur itni doori
aaisi bhi kya majaboori
tum koi naadaan nahi
tum isse anjaan nahi
is jeevan ke sapne ho
ek tumhi to apane ho
ek tumhi to apane ho
saara jag hai begana, pappa