My body betrays me in my sleep.

Every time I wake, I find myself leaning on Zach. I always move away but I don't know why I bother. The exhaustion keeps taking hold so it won't be long till I wake to find myself pressed against him again.

Even though Zach allows me to sleep on him, he hasn't spoken to me since I told him it's the end. He hasn't said a word to anyone.

Zach stares at the window which is impossible to see out of due to a layer of dirt. He doesn't seem to notice.

My stomach rumbles but I don't ask for food. I'm waiting for them to give me something. I'm sure they will at some point.

This is my life now; planned out for me, I'm no longer in my control.

Will I go back to the room with a view or the shiny white box room? I'm not sure which one I'd prefer. A view of my old life would be hard and I want to forget everything. I want to forget Zach.

It won't ever happen

I'm trying not to think about how he nearly told me he loved me. I refused to let him finish. Not because of the words he was about to say but because of the look in his eyes. A look that told me he would do anything for me, he would fight for me, he will continue to fight me.

A look which filled me with dread because it means Zach won't give up and end us.

Zach needs to give up. I have.

A small part of me knows after they've exhausted all their trials I could still be alive. They may even set me free. I don't hold onto that possibility. If it happens it will be a nice ending, if it doesn't, I won't be disappointed because I have no expectations.

It's part of the reason I have to let go of Zach. It would be unfair to ask him to wait and I'm starting to think everything that has happened shows we aren't meant for each other.

Now, all I have to do is get my head to convince my heart.

The truck jerks to a stop. Louisa/Lola/ Evil Incarnate opens the doors. 'We're here.'

I'm sticking with Evil Incarnate.

The Techie building towers above me on one side and the woods is laid out on the other side. I'm home.

It doesn't feel like home.

'Follow me,' Evil Incarnate says.

Climbing out the truck, Zach stops me. He takes my hand, pulls me towards him and whispers in my ear, 'This isn't over, Kit.'

I wish that were true.

Ignoring the way my body automatically leans into him, I gently tug my hand out of his and lowering my head to stare at Evil Incarnate's black booted feet as I follow her towards the Techie building. The other Techies have already walked off, chattering between themselves they take off their jackets and weapons.

I'm surprised they're not guarding me, escorting me to my box. Have they already realised I'm no longer a threat?

I'm not going to fight anymore.

'Lola,' a voice says, making Evil Incarnate stop.

I peer up at a Techie I've never seen before which is expected. I never interacted with many apart from Zach, Ben and Evil Incarnate. There were a few others who would hang around during the testing but I never spoke to them.

My eyes flick to the person standing next to the tall Techie man, and I almost look away until the familiar face registers.

Doll gives me a sympathetic smile. 'Sweetheart, you look like you've had a rough couple of days.' She steps forward. 'I'm heading back and I was hoping you'd come with me? I know they'll be a lot of people glad to see you back home.'

Lola eyes narrow. 'She doesn't want to. She's chosen to stay here.'

'How about we let Kit decide what she wants?' Doll says harshly. 'And anyway, if she chooses to stay here, it won't be doing whatever crazy plans you got swirling around in your messed up head. Isn't that right, Jerico?' Doll turns to the Techie beside her.

'Of course.' Jerico crosses his arms. 'Lola, we need to have a serious discussion about the work you've been conducting without authorisation.'

Lola looks at me then Jerico. She opens her mouth, closes it and opens it again. She looks like Olivia did.

She looks guilty.

Doll steps towards me. 'How about we get you cleaned up?'

'Are you ok to take her to your room? Once we've spoken to Lola, we'll need to speak to Kit,' Jerico says to Doll.

'What is going on?' Zach says behind me.

Doll arches an eyebrow. 'Well, looks like we got the two of them which will make sorting out this mess a lot quicker. Zach, come with me and Kit. There's a lot to explain but I think maybe we should get Kit cleaned up before we do anything.' Doll walks towards a door which leads into the Techie building.

I glance over my shoulder at Lola who is staring at me, her face contorted while Jerico is saying something to her. Averting my eyes, I look forward. Doll being here doesn't mean anything. I'm still heading into the Techie building.

Nothing has changed.

Once Lola explains to Jerico what she's been doing, he'll agree with the testing. He'll agree with keeping me prisoner.

Doll leads me and Zach through the white gleaming hallways of the Techie building. Everything is clean and new compared to the outside. It's also sterile and unwelcoming.

People stare at me. How many of them know about my resistance? Have they all been told I ran away and now they blame me for taking away they're chance of becoming resistant too?

'You sure look a mess,' Doll says as she turns into a stairwell and starts to ascend the stairs. 'However, the fact you're walking makes me think that can't be your blood, too much of it for it to be yours and you still be alive. Who's the owner?'

'Klein,' I say flatly.

Doll's mouth curls at the corners and I see a look of elation. 'Is he dead?'

'Yes.'

Doll nods in satisfaction. 'Good.'

'Roman's dead,' I croak.

Doll's face drops; all the satisfaction of Klein's death eliminated by a simple yet brutal word.

I look down at the floor which swims from my tears. My gaze travels to my shoes which are covered in blood as are my trousers. It's Klein's blood yet it looks identical to Roman's.

Turns out, when you die it doesn't matter what you did in your life, your blood looks the same. It's only the memories people hold of you which are different.

Doll turns down a hallway and stops outside a door. I sense Zach standing behind me, I lean back into his chest like I want to, I don't acknowledge him like I crave. I will not get my hopes up about Doll being here. 

Doll dials in a code on a square box of numbers next to the door causing it to slide open. We walk into a small room with a bed, a table and several chairs tucked into the corner. A large window looks out onto the woods but we're not high enough to see the Naturalist settlement from here.

Apart from the view, it looks identical to the room I was trapped in.

'Get yourself into the shower. There's a towel in there that you can use,' Doll says.

I shake my head. 'What's going on, Doll?'

'Get yourself cleaned up first.' Doll smiles.

'No. I need to know what's happening first,' I snap. I need to prepare myself for a life of confinement being poked and touched.

'We both do.' Zach steps next to me, his arm brushes mine, our hands touch.

For a brief moment, I think of moving away. We're not together anymore. I'm meant to be stepping away and distancing myself. I don't move. I allow the side of his body to press against mine. His warmth thaws my internal numbness.

'Of course, no need to get all upset. I simply thought you'd want to clean up.' Doll faces us and smiles. 'Zach, remember the night you said you was meant to take Kit back?'

Zach stiffens beside me and nods. I lean away slightly.

Doll turns to me and continues,  'Kit, you stormed out but Zach stayed and told us about this place, about his mum and the man, Ben. How they told the leaders about you and Zach touching so you got exiled. Then they told everyone you died, when really they were doing some tests on you. Well, I listened to Zach telling us the most confusing and I'm not going to lie slightly hard to believable story-'

'He wasn't lying,' I interrupt.

'Oh, I didn't think for one minute he was lying. I can tell a liar, I've had years living with too many of them. But everything Zach said got me thinking, so I decided to come here myself and talk to the leaders.'

'Why?' I ask.

'Because whatever Lola, Klein and anyone else has got you believing, I don't believe most people in the world are bad. Just because we suffered pain and loss and most of the world was wiped out, doesn't mean we all turn into inhumane, evil people who have no empathy or emotions.' Doll shrugs. 'I just didn't believe a whole community would allow a teenage girl to be hurt and tested on in the small chance of finding a cure for Virulence. I didn't believe they would allow fake attacks so people could be taken and tested on. Especially, when the only Virulence currently around is the one they make in their lab here.'

'So you came here and talked them into not testing on me?'

'No, I came here and I was right, they're not inhumane people. They didn't know what Lola was doing. Turns out, she has a big team which researches whatever the Leaders want her too but secretly she conducts her own little experiments.' Doll drops onto the bed and looks at Zach. 'Your friend Rubel was trying to figure it out but he only had the name Louisa which isn't her name. He also had the name Ben but nothing else. Lola made up some story to cover herself. She told everyone that Ben kidnapped Kit and kept her hostage without her knowledge.'

'But my mum and some of her assistants found me when I tried to escape. Those people must have known what she was doing.' Zach says.

Doll shrugs. 'Did she say anything about the testing in front of them?'

Zach frowns. 'No. They caught me and brought me back here and she spoke to me alone.'

'What did she say?' I ask.

Zach looks at me. 'She told me that there were people outside the wall who's sole purpose was to track down people, specifically young women. She said if I didn't bring Kit back they'd find us and they'd shoot me and take Kit.' Zach turns to me. 'I did tell my mum I'd bring you back but I never intended on doing it. It's why I lit the fires. It was a decoy so we were never found.'

My insides flutter but I don't allow them to take flight. I refuse to feel happy. I'm too worried it will be snatched away from me.

'Louisa, I mean, Lola didn't work alone though. There were people who helped take me, who helped test on me,' I say to Doll.

'Jerico and the other leaders are looking into it. So far they know of one person Lola was bribing to help her; it will take time until they find the others. The only reason she was able to get you from Klein's is because she told Jerico she knew you were there and that you were in danger so he allowed her to take some guards to collect you. Jerico wants to speak to you to get all the details.' Doll looks at me.

Doll sighs. 'I was hoping to come here, sort everything out and return home with good news, but I arrived here and I was told Lola had already left to go looking for you at Klein's village. I told them everything Zach told me and they didn't know anything about what she'd been doing to you, or that you and Zach had been running from her all along. She's lied to a lot of people, telling tales about you being in danger so they'd help her find you. Turns out, she was the danger to you all along. Well, it's sorted now. You're free.'

Doll's words wash over me. I don't feel happiness. I don't feel anything.  

Doll shakes her head and looks me up and down. 'Now, I'm not sure what happened to you but I'm sure it wasn't good if you're covered in Klein's blood.' She looks at Zach then back to me. 'Don't let whatever he did ruin you, Kit. Don't let him continue to have power over you.'

Is that why I can't feel happiness? Am I still letting him affect me?

'I'm going to have a shower,' I step back and dart into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I rip my clothes off and step into the shower. Turning on the water, I submerge myself under the spray of water and try to clean away everything. The memories, the pain, the upset.

Am I free?

The shower washes away my tears. I can't figure out if they're tears of joy, sadness or exhaustion. I scrub my body to remove the blood but I don't feel clean. I'm not sure I ever will.