There was a stack of printed out informational pages from college websites, and articles, and the internet in general on the couch when I got out of the shower after a day of work. I frowned, peering at the very thick packets of paper that someone had taken the time to staple together. Once I read the headings at the top of each page, I knew instantly who had put them there. I groaned, gathering it all up in my arms, and marched down the hallway.

"Couldn't help yourself could you?" I said wryly, leaning against Sophia's doorframe.

She rolled up a pair of socks, refusing to meet my eye. "Hmm?" she feigned innocence.

I folded my arms, unimpressed, "Randall..."

"I'm not sure what you're referring to," she sniffed primly, drawing her shoulders back.

I held up the sheets and sheets of paper, arching an eyebrow, "So you know nothing about these?"

"Why would I?" she replied airily, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

I rolled my eyes. "Sophia."

"Jake." We had a silent stare off for a few seconds, her gaze level with my own.

"I told you not to get involved," I shook my head, sighing. "C'mon, Randall. We have one conversation about how I liked detectives when I was a kid and you print out all this shit?"

Finally, she relented. "I know you told me to stay out of it, but—"

"Oh, you did hear me then?" I interrupted, slightly exasperated.

"Jake, you should've seen your face light up when you were talking about being a detective," Sophia said earnestly. "It is a real possibility. Especially for you."

"Sophia..."

"And there are so many options," she continued eagerly. "There are great forensic science programs, and criminology is a whole other field. Many places are still taking applications for these specialty programs if you're already accepted to the college, which I think are really..."

"Sophia," I interjected once again, trying to regain control of the conversation.

"Saying my name is not going to shut me up," she retorted stubbornly. "Please, just look at them."

"Sophia..."

"And don't tell me to stay out of it because I won't," she cut me off firmly.

"Evidently," I muttered under my breath. Apparently it didn't matter how many times I told her not to get involved, that it was none of her business, Sophia was a woman undeterred.

"I want to help," she pleaded.

"What if I don't need help?" I questioned, a hint of vulnerability in my voice.

"Too bad," she replied, hands on her hips. "Believe it or not, I care about what happens to you, so please promise me you'll at least look at them."

"You care about me?" Both of my eyebrows shot up to meet my hairline, pleasantly surprised at this admission.

"No— I didn't—" she started, cheeks pink as she stumbled over her words.

"I care about you too," I interrupted quietly, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. My heart swelled as I locked eyes with her, something inside of her seeming to soften. Almost like she could feel what I was feeling. Like maybe I had a chance. Her mouth parted slightly, and I could my heart thudding in my ears.

Sophia fidgeted with the gold chain around her neck, a sure sign she was flustered. She bit her lip. "Just look at them," her lashes fluttered slightly. "For me?"

"For you?" I murmured, leaning in. I couldn't help myself. It was like she had some sort of otherworldly magnetic pull over me. "Anything."

I went to bed early. To be honest, I always went to bed early. I'm pretty sure it had to do with the whole athlete thing. I was used to getting up at the crack of dawn for practices or games. I'd never been a night owl.

Unlike Sophia, who I wasn't sure ever went to sleep. Seriously, sometimes I'd get up in the middle of the night to pee or because I was sweating my ass off (it was really fucking humid here), and I'd hear her, creeping around in the kitchen, or spot the telltale blueish light of her phone through the crack in her door. It was no wonder she wasn't a morning person. Though I'd never dare tell her that.

In fact, I could still hear her shuffling around in her room right now, the faint sounds of her voice drifting down the hall. She was probably on the phone with her friend Reagan, or her Grandma, or maybe Maia. I hoped she was at least. The alternative was that she was talking to Tommy.

Abby wasn't home yet. And she hadn't been here when we left this morning. Sometimes I wondered if one of the reasons Sophia stayed up so late was because she was waiting for her sister to come home, whether she did it consciously or unconsciously. I knew she was constantly worrying about other people. Especially Abby. I hope she'd go to sleep soon though.

Honestly, I hoped I would go to sleep soon. Usually, it came easy, but tonight I was plagued by the thoughts of my impending future, which seemed to be approaching faster and faster with each passing day. Dread curdled in my gut as I tossed and turned, listening to the crickets chirp on the porch and the waves crashing on the sand.

I didn't know how much time had passed when I saw Sophia's light finally go dark, only that I felt sticky with sweat and irritated at the fact that I was nowhere close to sleep. I shifted and rustled around for a while longer, eyes screwed shut until I couldn't talk it anymore.

I sighed heavily, sitting straight up in bed. There was no point in trying any longer. I'd learned from experience that when it took this long, when I couldn't seem to shut my mind off for the life of me, it was no use just lying there uncomfortably.

Resignedly, I hoisted myself up, tiptoeing into the kitchen in search of something to eat. There was leftover pasta from dinner in the fridge. I didn't bother heating it up, just ate it straight from the Tupperware as I tried to think about anything besides stupid college and my stupid dad, and stupid football.

I let my mind drift to earlier that day, or maybe yesterday considering how long sleep had been evading me tonight. It had been a really good day, apart from all the future talk. Sophia and I made a great team, and a killing in tips. Plus, any irritation I'd felt at her inserting herself into my personal issues had dissipated when I saw how much it meant to her. How much I meant to her.

I smiled, taking another bite of pasta as I recalled when I pushed her in the river today before we started kayaking, and she'd promptly pulled me in with her. She was so—

"Burning the midnight oil, Jake?" Abby's voice broke me from my thoughts. I hadn't even noticed her come in. She placed her heels on the counter, yawning, "Usually it's Soph I find out here, not you."

I shrugged, "Couldn't sleep, I guess."

"Do me a favor," she started, leaning in. Her eyes were overbright and tired, and she smelled like lavender patchouli and tequila. I could tell now she was closer that while she was lucid, she wasn't completely sober. Silently, I wondered where she'd been, and how she'd gotten there and back. "Don't tell Sophia how late I got home."

"She worries about you," I said softly, glancing up at Abby carefully. I hope she knew the enormity of Sophia's love for her. "A lot." I watched as the woman's face dimmed slightly, her eyes filled with sadness and guilt.

She exhaled, "Sophia worries about everything." Her tone was fond, but equally defeated. "All the time."

I felt the sudden urge to defend Sophia. "She's— she just cares," I mumbled, "and she's careful— I— she's cautious, but—"

"She's scared," Abby interrupted flatly.

"I—" I opened my mouth to— I don't know, to argue with her? To disagree? I wasn't sure.

"Look Jake," Abby sighed, leaning against the counter, "I like you. You're a really nice kid, and Sophia and I love having you around." I could feel a but coming. "But." There it was. "I'm not stupid. I see the way you look at her when you think no one else is watching. I see you stand up for her, and listen to her like she's the only voice you can hear." She smiled knowingly at me, and I felt my cheeks darken. Had I really been that transparent? "You have some big feelings for her, and I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"I'm not—"

"I love my sister," Abby continues. "She's my favorite fucking person in the world, and I know her better than anyone. Which mean I know she doesn't take chances. Any chances. She hasn't taken a chance since our mom died." I gulped. I hadn't known that. Sophia hadn't told me, and I felt as if it was information that she should've shared with me on her own terms. I felt prickly all over, like I'd read her diary or something. "Sophia doesn't take chances. And you, Jake," she turned to me, "are a hell of a chance."

"Oh," I murmured dumbly, unsure how to proceed.

"Goodnight Jake," Abby headed down the hall to her room. "Try to get some sleep, and—" she paused, "be careful."

The sky was growing lighter outside the window, and distantly I remembered that I was expected to go to work in what I assumed was less than five hours. With Sophia, who I wasn't sure I could look in the eye.

Abby's warning echoed through my head all morning, followed me as I got dressed, brewed a coffee which I was in dire need of, and all the way into the car on the way to KVE. Everything Sophia did had now been colored with Abby's words. I hated that I saw it all in a new light. Her never wanting to drive, the grubby bracelet she never took off, the jeans that were a little too big, and the necklace she constantly fiddled with. Her reluctance to get close with someone...

"Jake." I jolted out of my mental turmoil, feeling Sophia's quizzical blue gaze on me.

"Hm?" I focused very intently on pulling into our parking spot

"You're quiet today, Sherlock," she remarked, a hint of suspicion in her voice.

I turned the engine off, careful not to look at her too directly because I was afraid of what my face would do. "Tired, I suppose," I swallowed, "I was up late."

"And here I thought you just ceased to exist once the clock struck 10:30," she teased, her pretty mouth doing the most adorable little smirky thing. My heart hurt, the car feeling unimaginably small, and I managed a short laugh, already swinging the door open.

Sophia frowned slightly, catching my arm before I could get out. I inhaled sharply, her fingertips soft and warm on my skin. "You sure you're okay?" she asked, brows drawn together in concern.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I replied brightly.

"I don't know— I just," Sophia shook her head. "I feel like you've been... off this morning. Are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"We're going to be late," I deflected.

"Jake," Sophia's grip tightened on my arm. "Hey. Look at me." This was exactly what I had been afraid of. For the first time this morning I dragged my eyes up to meet her own heartstoppingly, devastatingly blue ones. "What's going on?"

"Parent shit," I said, which was only half a lie. "As usual."

"I figured," Sophia hummed sympathetically. "If you want to talk about it, I'm here."

"Thanks, Randall," I murmured genuinely, wanting so badly to brush a curl away from her face, or take the hand that still lingered on my forearm and interlace it with my own.

"Anytime, Sherlock."

As we hustled into work, quickly putting our stuff in the lockers, we really had been running late, I decided that I was going to forget what Abby said, or at least do my best to not let it affect me. If I wanted a chance at any sort of relationship with Sophia I couldn't be a weirdo who avoided making eye contact and lied.

Just before we headed out to our meeting spot, where our group was already beginning to gather, Sophia stopped me mid stride, "Wait."

"What?"

"Bend down." My confusion mounted.

"What?" I repeated.

Sophia yanked me down to her level, reaching up to twist my baseball cap to face the other direction. Now it provided not a shred of sun coverage

I raised an eyebrow, "I think you are missing the point of the baseball hat."

"I think you are missing the point of it looks better this way," she retorted, fussing with my hair. I could have died.

I grinned, "Does it now?"

"Shut up," she blushed, flicking the side of my head. "There are people waiting on us," Sophia gestures at the crowd a few feet from us.

It was a larger group than we normally had, and all from the same party. Three families on vacation together, each with at least two kids and at most five. There was a gaggle of girls who seemed to be about our age, which I could tell made Sophia nervous, her gaze darting around anxiously when we introduced ourselves. We led them through the dense trees down the trail to the spot on the river where we began the kayaking portion, the girls sticking close to the front with Sophia and I.

"So how old are you?" One of the girls asked. She had introduced herself as Kiera, she had straight dark hair, and she was wearing a patterned string bikini and a pair of jean shorts, which I knew were about to get covered in mud. We recommend wearing a rash guard of some kind during the hiking, ziplining, and kayaking to protect against bugs and plants and all of that stuff, but it looked as though her and her friends/sisters had decided to ignore that detail.

"18," I answered.

"Twins!" she exclaimed happily, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "So do you like live here?"

"Um—"

"I'm going to head to the back of the group," Sophia interrupted loudly. "Make sure no one gets left behind. Okay Jake?"

"What? Oh—" I swiveled my head, but she was already gone. Kiera moved up to walk alongside me, and her barrage of questions continued at rapid fire pace.

When we reached the river, and we began to split them into pairs, she asked, "Can I ride with you Jake? I'm not very good at kayaking, and you're so strong."

My face went red, and I scratched my head, "Um—"

"Guides ride alone," Sophia informed her stiffly. "So one of us can be in front, and the other in back."

"Aww," Kiera pouted. "You'll still show me how to paddle though, right Jake?"

"I'm sure Jake will," Sophia muttered lowly. I sensed tension. There was a distinct look about Sophia that I couldn't place. It was new. I hadn't seen it before, and I couldn't seem to figure out what was the matter.

By the time we got to the waterfall, I was exhausted from talking to Kiera and the other girls who never seemed to run out of things to say or ways to touch my arm. And I missed Sophia, who I felt like I hadn't talked to the entire day. Usually we bantered with each other as we led the groups, but today she was firmly heading up the caboose. She didn't even take a dip in the water, just sat at the picnic tables with an unreadable expression on her face.

I dried off and went to repack my backpack, settling down beside Sophia on the bench, "Hey."

"Hey, yourself."

"So—"

"Jake, are you coming back in?" I felt a hand at my back. Keira beamed down at me, "Oh my god, you should like never wear a shirt."

"Uh—"

She giggled, "You're adorable." Keira was walking back towards the water now, calling, "Don't keep me waiting too long."

I shook my head, turning back to Sophia, "Well, that was weird."

Sophia rolled her eyes, and I heard a small snorting sound.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Liar," I accused, not letting her get away that easy. "What's with the eye roll? You've been doing it all day."

"It's just," she rolled her eyes again. "You cannot be that oblivious, Jake."

"About what?"

"Come on," she scoffed derisively, "she's been flirting with you all day. Anyone with a basic level of perception could tell that, and you— you don't have to play dumb about it."

"Are you talking about Keira?"

Sophia groaned. "Jake," she mimicked in a high girlish voice, "help me kayak! Oh my god, Jake hold my hand I'm scared I'm going to fall! Jake you're so manly and big and strong! Never wear a shirt, Jake." She folded her arms, making a face. "It was obscene."

"I don't think—"

"Look," Sophia held up her hands, "I don't really give a crap, but I just think it's unprofessional to flirt with customers on the job."

"I wasn't flirting with her," I said emphatically. "She was flirting with me!"

"So you admit she was flirting with you?" Sophia arched a smug eyebrow.

"You jealous?" I smirked, watching proudly as her cheeks grew pink.

"I— no, I'm not— I didn't—" she stuttered, flushed.

I grinned widely, "Oh my god, you're jealous."

"I am not!" she tried her best to scowl at me, but she was smiling. "Prick."

I gazed at her fondly, "You're cute."

The smile slid off her face in an instant, lips parting in soft surprise. I could feel my heart beating wildly against my ribcage, knowing that if I leaned in any closer I could kiss her. And maybe just maybe, she might kiss me back. I—

"When do we go back?" A booming voice belonging to one of the dads yelled from the water. In that instant, the moment broke. Sophia shifted away from me, cleaning her throat. I wanted to slam my fist into the nearest tree.

"For the record," Sophia added, busy gathering everyone's trash from lunch, "I was not jealous."

I smiled at her, "Whatever you say, Randall."

So close.

I DID IT!!!!

guys be proud of me 

i finished a chapter!!!

THIS IS A BIG DEAL

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xxxxx

colleen