EMMA

I slipped off my shoes and crawled onto my bed. Today Kate had an evening shift at the cafe so I knew she wouldn’t be coming back at least by ten. As I stared at the white ceiling above, my mind wandered back to two hours before. He did say it was a business meeting but no one came till the end. As more minutes passed by in silence, the more I was starting to doubt that there was never a business meeting to start with. But one thing was confusing. Why would he do that? Why would he go out of his way and off his planned schedule and lie about the meeting? 

Maybe he just wanted to spend time with you.

The foolish part of mine said and I shook my head. No, that wasn’t right. Why would he want to spend time with me? Despite being aware of how much hatred I had for him? That wasn’t right. My foolish part was being delusional here and besides, when did I start to listen to that side of mine? I realized I had been following it since the moment I started working for him. I think it was time to lock that side up. 

“I am sure it was nothing,” I muttered, shaking my pretentious thoughts away. I was sure something must have happened. Maybe the person we were supposed to meet canceled the meeting at the last minute? Maybe he got stuck in some situation. Well whatever it was, I did end up tasting one of the most delicious Italian cuisine. That was a good thing.

“Let’s not think about it much.” I shook my head and got up to freshen up.

After changing into my comfortable pajamas, I plopped on my bed and took out my phone. I scroll through my contacts and pressed the call button.

“Emma!” She picked up on the second ring. “My sweet little girl! How are you?”

“Hey, Mom!” I greeted. “I am fine. How are you and dad? How’s Sophie and Elliot?”

“We are all fine well except for Elliot. He just lost a bet to Sophie and now he’s trying his best to hide his Oreos.” She chuckled and a smile broke on my lips.

“Is that Emma?” I heard Elliot’s voice from behind. “Em! Is that you?” Sophie’s voice came in next and I laughed.

“Yes. It’s her.” Mom replied to them and I heard some disturbance on the other line. 

“When are you coming to meet us? We miss you!” I could imagine pouty lips of Elliot as he said those words. He was the most little cute thing that I had ever seen or maybe that was just me because he was my little precious baby brother. 

“It’s only been a few months.” 

“It feels like a year,” Sophie said next and I bit my inner cheek. I missed them too. I had never been away from home for such a long time but I couldn’t just stay there forever. I needed an escape and the only thing I could do was to move. Not too far away but still a few miles away was a good start.

“I will visit soon,” I assured her, and then my mom took the phone back from them. I heard their grumbling protests as my mom speak.

“So, how come you called? You never had much time for me." My mom complained making me roll my eyes as my lips were still in a smile.

“Mom! I call you every weekend,” I retorted. Except for the last, I had called her every weekend since I moved to Manhattan. Besides, we both still lived in New York and my mom did visit me last month. 

“What? When? I don’t remember that.” She feigned surprise in her voice and I chuckled. 

“Your tricks are starting to get old.”

She started laughing. “You are right. I need to level up.”

Yup, that was my mom. A little over-dramatic, a little fun, and a lot loving. According to my dad, he fell for my mom’s dramatic side. 

“Mom! I have something to tell.” I wanted to tell her about my job. My forced job I must add but I think I was starting to like it. I knew she would be thrilled to know that. After all, I did move here to start a new chapter of my life.  

“Wait! Tell me you got a boyfriend.”

“Mom, stop.” 

 “Oh, Emma! My sweet child, you need to move on. Forget about the past. You are in a new place. Make new friends, make new mistakes. That’s what life is.” 

I loved my mom but when she starts her one of the 'how beautiful life is' lectures, I hated that. I don’t know whether it was due to her optimistic personality or just because she was an art professor. She had always seen life under the colors of beauty, joy, and never-ending experiences. Experiences that we learn under the shades of our own mistakes. But she couldn’t understand one thing, I made one mistake five years ago and I think it was enough to cover up all the experiences of my life. All colors and shades of it. 

“Mom!” I whispered, mustering up another lie. “Don’t worry. I am not the same Emma from five years back. I have moved on and the past is as good as buried.”

“I am glad to hear that.” I could sense the relaxation in her voice like a huge burden had just been lifted from her shoulders.

“How are your nightmares? Are you still on meds?” She inquired and I answered with another lie. 

“Good as gone. Haven’t used them in a year now.” Sometimes the way I lie with such ease scares me up. Just in the morning, I was holding onto that medicine like it was the only thing that could save me and now I whispered those words with such confidence that even I could believe that. 

“Thank God,” she sighed and my lips curled up in a broken smile. During the past years, it wasn’t just me that suffered from those tainted memories of mine, it was my parents too. The only difference was, I lessened their pain with my lies and continued to suffer alone.

“So you won’t be bringing a guy home?” She asked and I cleared my throat. 

“Not yet,” I said. Not ever. 

I heard her sigh on the other line but she didn’t say anything. 

“I got a job,” I said before she could start another one of her optimists' lectures. 

“I started a week ago as the secretary of the CEO at Wilton’s!” I fawned with as much excitement as I could.  

“Congratulations!” She squealed. “I will admit, this is far better than my guess!” I smiled at her words. I decided to omit all the details of the temporary post, a year contract and my jerk handsome boss, whom I was starting to believe had a good side to that cocky attitude of his. 

“Did you celebrate it?” She asked as I stared at the faint paint of the walls. 

“Not yet.”

“Emma! You should celebrate it. It’s the marking of your new life. A new start.” She was right. I should have agreed to Kate when she asked me to go out with her but I wasn’t much of a party girl and I didn’t like bars or nightclubs. They were too loud and too much crowded. 

“I will think about it,” I hesitated. 

“Join us for dinner tomorrow. It’s been a month since I last saw you and you do know how much Sophie and Elliot miss you.” She quipped. I thought about it for a while. Tomorrow was Friday and if I want, I could easily spend the weekend with my family. I really wanted to see them and this little celebration sounded like a great idea. 

“That’ll be great.” I agreed. I could already imagine the big grin on my mom’s face. 

“Good!!! See you tomorrow. Love you.” She gave me her kisses as I chuckled.

“Love you, Mom. And do tell Dad.”

“No. Let’s make it a surprise.” I heard her chuckle as I smiled at the idea. It had been four months since I met him - the time I left home and that place. 

“As you say, mom. Bye.”

“Bye, sweetie!”

I hung up the phone and went into the kitchen in search of something to eat.

------------------

After searching my wardrobe for two hours straight, I settled on the black dress that I bought when Alice dragged me to her last shopping endeavors. It was a knee-length sleeveless dress with a white ribbon stitched around the halter neckline and a tulle down its waist. It wasn’t too much but not too dull. It seemed perfect.

I decided to let my hair loose on its natural waves covering the laced back of the dress. I applied a minimal amount of makeup with some liner on my eyes and a slight red gloss on my lips. Grabbing my bag, I threw in some tissues along with my compact powder, liner, and my lip gloss. I paired my dress with my black striped wedge shoes and there, I was done!

“Not bad.” I looked at myself in the wall mirror one last time. I don’t dress up that much and if I wanted, I could have visited my parents in my regular slacks and button-up shirts paired with converses or my slip-on but today, I wanted to show them that I have changed. So, I was going to dress up in my lie, smile big, stand straight, and make them believe that their precious daughter was doing all fine now. 

“Got a date?” Kate smirked as I walked into the living room with my bag and my denim jacket in my hand. It was still November but sometimes, if the weather wanted, the evenings could be a bit chilly. Besides, it was going to be the first time since I was wearing something other than my long sleeves shirts, my below knees skirts, or slacks so I kind of felt a bit exposed. 

“No. A family dinner. I might even spend the night.” I told her while grabbing an apple from the fridge. I wasn’t still sure if I should spend a night there or not. I loved my family, I just don’t love the memories that place holds. Despite seeing a therapist for two years and taking medicines, my nightmares were still there. No doubt, they were less frequent but they weren’t gone.

“Have a nice time!” Kate smiled and picking up a plate of leftover pizza from last night went back to her room. She had a day off and I was pretty sure she’d be spending it with her father in the hospital. Her father was a lot better but they still needed money for his operation. It had been already a month since he was diagnosed with a brain tumor and luckily, it could be removed with an operation. The only problem was the money. I was planning on saving some as now I had a better job. I knew I couldn’t provide the comfort she needed or the false hope she wanted but I could help with the money. That’s the last thing I could offer.

“Shit! I am gonna be late!” I looked at the clock showing it was already 8:15.

Grabbing my purse off the aisle, I went to the subway station. After almost half an hour, I stood in front of the Wilton’s. As the wind struck my bare arms, I remembered. My jacket!

“Damn it!” I cursed under my breath as I made my way toward the elevator. The way it felt like every person was looking at me, I was starting to have second thoughts. Did I dress up too much? Maybe my outfit wasn't exactly the office attire but I would have never done that if not for my planning on taking the subway directly to Brooklyn after work. 

The elevators stopped at the thirtieth floor and as I walked past Miss Seville’s desk, I didn’t miss that surprised look in her eyes. Well at least, I enjoyed that look. I might not have her perfect face, beautiful golden hair, or curvy body but that expression on her face did tell me one thing. Today, I didn’t look that bad.

EDAN

I cut the call, throwing my phone over the files.

“Fuck!” I gritted my teeth, fisting my hands. Yesterday after I had lunch with Emma, my mom called me and asked me to meet her for dinner. It was seldom that she calls and asks for such a thing so I presumed it was an important matter. My mom wasn’t like other mothers who would just ask you to meet because she missed you. She was more of a strict person who only showed and said the things needed. No long talks, no late-night stories, no love-filled words, no kisses on the cheeks. No fake pleasantries at all. I think that’s why I hated them too. 

If she traveled all the way from Philadelphia to here and just for dinner, I was sure it was a matter of significance but when I reached there, instead of my mom, there sat a brunette packed up in an expensive blue evening gown, waiting for me. It was another blind date that my mom so successfully arranged with some conglomerate’s daughter. 

I hated how my mom was always up arranging me with one of her friend’s daughters but I never thought she would go to such extremes. She always gave me a heads up but seeing how I had been avoiding those for the last two months, she changed her way. She was someone who believed in equal matches and high statuses and when she couldn’t succeed with my older brother, she turned to me. For God’s sake, I don’t date! I don’t even spend a second night with the same girl. How did she expect me to settle down with a single girl? I had always refused her but yesterday, she succeeded, and now she called me to tell me about some charity event that I would be attending with that blue gown girl tonight.

Fuck!

She was wrong if she thought I would be going. During my time yesterday with her, I couldn’t help but compare that girl with Emma. Her hair was some shade lighter and her skin was tan as compared to the warm porcelain skin of Emma’s. Moreover, her hazel eyes were not even close to those beautiful brownish hues of Emma's hidden beneath those grey layers. She had expensive clothes and wore million-dollar perfume but still, the only intoxicating smell that I could ever think of was the light scent of jasmine of a certain five-feet-six-inch woman.

Fuck! What was wrong with me?

Yesterday, I even took her out for lunch. A thing I never did before. I went out of my planned schedule, canceled a conference call, and spent my time with her, just because I wanted to make sure she was alright. With every passing day, she was silently entering my mind. As another day would pass, she would take another step in, taking over my thoughts and eventually my mind. 

This wasn’t good. She was doing strange things to me and those things were making me go ways I never thought I’d ever be going. It had to be stopped. I need to speed up my plan. I need to have her fucked and right out of my mind. One night. That’s all I needed. One night and she would be out of my thoughts and out of my system. All I needed was a few hours. That’s it.

I picked up my phone and texted her. 

Come to my office.

One more of the reasons I wanted to end this as soon as possible was this eerie feeling of mine in my chest. The inscrutable feeling that was starting to wrap my chest and my heart in a tightening grasp as I would wait for her. 

Someone knocked on the door and I hated how my heart jumped a beat. Another reason to end this facade as soon as possible. 

“Come in,” I stated in my authoritative voice whilst trying to focus on the files in front. Today, I would end this game. The way she reacted to my touch two days ago, I was sure I only needed one kiss to ignite that fire within her. To spark the electricity the crackles between us.  I don’t care how much she hates me after that but one thing I could assure her, she would be having a great time. She already hated me enough and I didn’t mind adding more to that. As long as she was out of my thoughts. 

“Do you need anything?” Her unusual calm voice went through my ears and right into my chest. My ears weren’t used to her calm, sweet voice. They were used to her witty remarks, rage-filled words, and her bitter voice. Bitter. Wasn’t that something that I liked? Or that’s what I thought until I got a taste of her sweet voice. 

Damn it!

“Do I need a reason to call you here, sweetheart?” I knew how much she hated that word so why not start with that. After all, when this ends, it would be the only word she could ever remember. I smirked and looked up to where she was standing, but as my eyes met the girl standing in front, that incompetent heart of mine stopped. 

Fuck!

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Hey, Anna here!

Let me know your thoughts!

xoxo.