This lady told us that the clarinets were the most coincided section in the band. As a member of that section I gotta agree.

  I feel like when people see me in gymnastics, their like, "Oh, she looks like she's on the team." But then they see me in class and then they say "Oh never mind. She's not on the team, she's the worst in the class."

  There's something aesthetically pleasing about watching someone do a perfect kick over with straight legs, knowing full well that I will never do one myself.

"Are you Italian?"
"No I'm just flat out white" -some boy in history

So my history teacher insults his students in a playful manner, and he asked a guy who was stretching, " Are you showing off your armpit hair to her?" Then out of the blue, the same guy goes, "She said it tasted like spaghetti".

  My friend keeps anticipating when I'm going to make another egg pun. I'm not an egg-traterrestrial who can make yolks every second.

I later burned my history teacher.

I just heard someone ask if our Latin teacher was gay.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, people dying everywhere, now you're closer by a year, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" - my history teacher

These girls in the bus have started a turtle hibernating club???? I kind want to join

  Still a third wheel damnit