"Gabriela, I'm home!"

I went downstairs and saw Marmalade clap twice to turn on his special lamp. It was white and in the shape of him wearing nothing but a leaf in between his legs as he held the giant heart-shaped Love Crater Meteorite with just one paw. The previous year, a meteor crashed into the city and many people were devastated, but the Professor saw beauty in the rock and the people made it into some sort of symbol of love or whatever.

"Welcome home, sir," I greeted. "How was the ceremony?"

"Quite splendid," he answered.

"Odd, given how I saw on TV that those Bad Guys crashed the party and you are now falling for one of their tricks," I said quietly before... "HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!"

"Gabriela, a good girl does not raise her voice," Marmalade said sternly. "And don't worry, there's no trick here."

"That's what they always say," I pointed out, "and what happens later? You get bamboozled."

"Darling, everything will be fine," he insisted. "Besides, didn't you say I helped you when you needed a miracle? Well, now, so do these five souls. Who are we to turn them away? Who are you, Gabriela?"

"I suppose you're right," I admitted. "Just... be careful, sir."

"Good!" he replied. "Now, get some sleep. They're going to be arriving tomorrow. Remember... make a good first impression!"

🐺🐍🕷️🦈🐟🐹🦊🐠💍🪡☄️💋

I woke up, as usual, to the sound of my alarm set for 7:00 in the morning. I went downstairs to have breakfast with the Professor. Then, I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, put on my makeup, and dressed up into a purple turtleneck sweater, a blue skirt, and a black belt with a gold buckle.

I looked out my window to see a car heading up the driveway and I immediately felt dread shiver up my spine. These were the first new people I've met in three years. What if I looked like a fool in front of them? Nevertheless, I quickly went downstairs, out the door and to the driveway loop, where the car pulled up and the Bad Guys stepped out. They all stared at me, making me anxious. It wasn't because I saw them as monsters, but I was suddenly feeling... shy. Luckily, I wrote myself some flashcards to help me.

"Dear Bad Guys," I began reading, "welcome to the home of Professor Marmalade, world's cutest philanthropist and all around good guy. My name is Gabriela Maria Valentina Angelfish..." I flipped to the next card, "-Santiago. As the Professor's ward, I am the perfect example of what the five of you will become by the end of this journey of enlightenment. (Now smile at them!)"

As I gave my biggest, toothiest grin, Mr. Snake suddenly said, "Will we have to wear turtlenecks?"

For some reason, this made everyone but Mr. Piranha laugh.

"What's wrong with turtlenecks?" I asked timidly. "So, uh... Come on in, make yourselves at home."

"Sweet kid, huh?" Wolf said to Snake.

"If not a total weirdo," Snake replied. My smile faded hearing this.

"Did you see that scar?" Shark asked Webs.

"Yeah, someone clearly tampered with her brain," she figured.

"I'll tamper with your brain!" I growled, but then I remembered. "No, you're a good girl, Gabriela. You're a good girl. Just grin and bear it."

I felt my eye twitch and my blood boil as I tried to fake a smile. I turned back around to find Piranha still staring at me with wide eyes.

"Is there anything you would like to say to my face?" I asked with my teeth clenched. I mentally prepared myself for whatever insult he could have thrown at me, but all I heard was...

"Que hermosa."

The heat in my face faded away as he said those gentle words. Aside from my parents, no one had ever called me that before.

"Um, thank you," I said in a quiet voice. "Right... Right this way, señor."

As the Bad Guys and myself headed inside, they all took a moment to enjoy the scenery.

"Wow! Big and fancy!" Webs said.

"Rodent's got taste! Okay!" Shark exclaimed.

"Uh-huh," Snake agreed. "Almost makes me wanna be cute."

"Not sure if you can handle it," I mumbled.

"They say experience is the best teacher," Marmalade announced, "and they are wrong. I am!"

We all turned to find the Professor standing in front of his lamp and his valet Cuddles not far behind.

"Good morning, students of goodness," he greeted. "And welcome to the first day of the rest of your best life!"

"A giant butt!" Piranha shouted, pointing at the lamp. We all stared at him in surprise.

"Uh, it's not a butt, it's a lamp!" Marmalade corrected him, clapping so it would turn on. "In the shape of the Love Crater Meteorite, my greatest–"

"I wonder whose butt it is," Piranha interrupted. The others looked worried, but I attempted to hold back a laugh.

"Once again, it's not a butt, thank you," Marmalade reminded him, clapping to turn it off. "It's a heart. Now, as I was saying..."

"Then why does it have cheeks?" Piranha asked, making me giggle as Wolf and Shark tried to shush him. "What? I've never seen a heart with cheeks."

Marmalade chuckled in exasperation. "It's not a-"

"BOOTY!"

"It's not a butt! It's not a butt!" Marmalade shouted as I laughed out loud.

"Pfft. Does he know what a butt is?" Piranha asked. I just kept laughing.

"Gabriela!" Marmalade scolded, making me stop. "What did I teach you?"

"A good girl only laughs when appropriate," I answered, looking down in shame.

"Right," he panted. "As I was saying... On the outside, the five of you are villains, predators, remorseless sociopaths."

"Oh, stop, you're making me blush," Shark said, flattered.

"But inside, there's a flower," Marmalade continued. "A flower of goodness. And when it blooms, and you feel that tingle of positivity radiating through your body, you'll want to feel it all the time."

"So we're going for a tingle?" Webs asked.

"Not any tingle," he said. "The tingle of goodness, which you'll feel in my state-of-the-art sharing laboratory!"

"Um, sir, isn't this just the dining room?" I asked as we followed him.

"Not now, Gabriela," Marmalade said, disregarding my question. "Okay. Mr. Snake, I'm going to give you a push pop."

"Great!" he said. "Push pop just for me!"

"No, to share," Marmalade corrected him.

"Why?"

"Well, on a fundamental level, it's about putting someone else's needs ahead of your own," Marmalade answered, gesturing to an eager-looking Shark.

"Oh, no!" Snake argued. "No way!"

"Snake?" Wolf said sternly.

"All right, all right," Snake groaned, slithering to the table.

"This is gonna taste extra sweet 'cause I know how bad you want it," Shark said as he sat in front of Snake, who seemed to not want to give up his push pop. "Pop me, please."

Snake inched the push pop closer to Shark's wide open mouth and almost had it when...

"Nope!" he said, eating the push pop for himself. "Sucker!"

"That's it! I'll teach you to share!" Shark yelled, grabbing Snake by the throat, shoving him into his mouth and swallowing him whole. I had never seen anything like it! "I like sharing. It's yummy! Mmm."

"Totally worth it!" Snake said, his voice muffled due to being in Shark's stomach.

"Well, that's terrifying," Marmalade said nervously. "Let's try something simpler."

Later, we all went to a nearby crosswalk for the next challenge.

"A good person always pays attention to the needs of others," Marmalade explained to the Bad Guys. "Now, here's a kindly, frail grandma."

The grandma was actually Wolf dressed in old lady's clothes. The sight of him made the others laugh, but I remained composed.

"Mr. Piranha, help Grandma across the street," Marmalade said.

"Sure, sure, sure," he insisted. "I do this all the time."

"Aw, that's so sweet!" I cooed.

"Yes!" I heard him say under his breath as he guided Wolf across the street. "Here you go, ma'am."

"Oh, he is totally gonna blow it," Webs said as Shark and Snake laughed.

"What was that? What are you saying?" Piranha asked, angrily running towards them. "You think I can't do this?!"

"No, no, no! Piranha!" Wolf exclaimed... only to be hit by a large truck, knocking him into the air, and landed flat on his face. I covered my mouth in shock.

"Maybe simpler?" Marmalade suggested.

We went back to the house and the Professor led us to a palm tree in the yard, where a cute orange cat was clinging to life by the fronds.

"Hey, look, it's a cat stuck in a tree!" Wolf said to the others.

"Sir, how long has that gato been up there?" I asked with concern.

"It doesn't get much simpler than that," he said, ignoring me again. "Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?"

"Eating it?" Snake asked. "This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me."

"No. I want you to sss..."

"Smack it!" said Wolf.

"Skin it?" said Snake.

"Stab it!" said Shark.

"Sautée it!" said Webs.

"Sing to it?" said Piranha. For some reason, I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Save it," Marmalade answered in disbelief. "I want you to save... It's ob- so obvio- I want you to save it!"

"Oh!" they all nodded in agreement and looked back up at the tree. "HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!"

Unfortunately, this made the cat even more terrified of them and he ran further up the tree and into the fronds.

"Whoa, that cat is obviously defective," Snake said.

"What is wrong with you?" Piranha asked him. "You're gonna give it a heart attack! I'll handle this."

I knew not to hope for too much, but as he climbed up the tree, I couldn't help but feel as if he would actually pull it off.

I was wrong.

"WHAT'S UP, PAPA?!" he yelled, making the cat jump out of the tree and land on Wolf's face. Wolf screamed in pain as the cat scratched him.

"No, no, no! What are you doing?!" Marmalade shouted as the cat got off Wolf and ran back up the tree.

"Um, sir?" I asked. "Maybe we should consider their strengths and weaknesses. Obviously, being kind isn't their cup of tea, so we should focus on something else they're good at."

"Very well, dear," he sighed. I felt proud of myself at that moment. "Okay. What, may I ask, are you good at?"

"Stealing stuff?" Piranha answered.

"Oh, yeah! We're great at that!" Shark agreed.

"Robbery," Snake added.

"Larceny," Webs said.

"Wire fraud," Piranha said.

"Extortion," Snake said.

"Tax evasion," Wolf said.

"Heists," Shark said.

"Mail fraud," Webs said. I began to think maybe it wasn't such a good suggestion.

"Wait, heists, you say?" Marmalade asked.

"Yeah, that's... Yeah, that's kind of our specialty," Wolf said, trying not to brag. Marmalade looked down in thought.

"I might just have an idea."