Now;

Walking into her home that afternoon, Lucy feels as though she has done something wrong. Something very wrong. Not only has she gone against 'Doctor's orders' and found herself another job, but she always feels as though she is betraying Carrie by the way her body was reacting to Harmony. The thoughts cause her head to throb, the mixed emotions between guilt and pleasure. The battle between happiness and her grief.

Lucy stumbles into the kitchen as she grips her head with her right hand as the pain within her head intensifies. Sonny hears the rustling of the Panadol packet and wanders up to Lucy, scratching her paw at Lucy's leg with a soft whimper. 

Swallowing the tablet Lucy slowing drops low to the floor, dragging her back along the cupboards behind her until she hit the ground. She wants to cry, she wants to scream out the ultimate question 'Why? but as she sits there, hands on her head and legs pressed against her chest, Lucy is left with nothing but a single tear that escaped and is slowly falling down her face. Sonny follows Lucy's lead and also flops to the ground, head resting on Lucy's foot, tickling her toes as Sonny breathes in and out. 

Why is Lucy so sad? So angry at herself? She may have just landed herself a new job, shouldn't she be happy, celebrating? Then why is she here, on the ground in her kitchen silently crying to herself?

Maybe it is the lack of comfort as she lost one of the shittiest places she held dear. Hearing those words come from Matt's mouth telling Lucy that she will no longer be working there and that he is letting her go, 'on doctors orders', feels like a thousand knives have just pierced her body, knocking her down and she can't get up. The thought of going to a place where she won't be reminded of Carrie allows her to breathe again but also turns her blood cold.

Lucy has no idea where to go from here, how to start 'fresh'. Ever since the incident all she has done is follow a routine, a routine of Carrie. Without Carrie or her memory, how will Lucy deal with her day to day life?

The sensation of vibration is felt on the hard tiles next to Lucy's foot, alerting her of a call. Strange that someone is calling her as she has almost everyone in her phone blocked, this is especially due to the constant calls and texts asking how she is.

"Hello?" Lucy answers hesitantly.

"Hey, is this Lucy? It's Harmony from the Cafe?" Harmony answers back, almost too cheerfully for Lucy.

Lucy groans as she pulls the phone away from her ear for a moment, thinking of the things she can say right now to get Harmony off the phone.

"Yeah, it's Lucy." Her answer is short but not surprising.

"Hey look, I'm sorry to call so late I just got off work and was told to give you a call about working at the cafe."

"Oh right, is this good news or bad news?" Lucy perks herself up just slightly, hearing the sound of Harmony's voice hasn't been as bad as Lucy thought when she picked up the phone. Maybe she doesn't have to get Harmony off the phone anytime soon.

"It's good news, I promise, but I love to give good news in person. Any chance I can see you?" Harmony questions, this time she's the one hesitating. "I'm just about to grab some dinner if you wanted to tag along?"

Her questions stick in Lucy's head for a moment and Lucy is prepared to say something other than no to this girl, someone who is practically a stranger. Although it isn't the first time Lucy has allowed a stranger to make their way in. The thought of food stirred something inside Lucy, telling her to eat a meal for the first time in days, something other than a cookie here and there. 

"Yeah sure, send me the location and I will meet you there." The answer surprises even Lucy, she hasn't agreed to 'tag along' with anyone for anything in so long. This sudden decision causes butterflies throughout her stomach. She has no idea why, out of everyone that has tried contacting her did she say yes to a stranger.

Maybe that's why she said yes because she is a stranger. Someone that doesn't know her nor do they know her story. Unlike all the other workers at that cafe, she is the only one oblivious to why she is so attached to that table, why she has caused a scene when they tried to cover up the patch on the wall and why she orders two coffee but sits by herself at the table.

Standing up and making her way to her bedroom she now knows she doesn't have to pretend with this girl, doesn't have to exhaust herself on pretending to be improving or pretending to be getting her shit together and that's enough to make Lucy finally agree to talk to something other than sonny.   

Harmony messaged the location for dinner to Lucy and to her surprise, it's a restaurant that she hasn't been to before. Maybe she should've worn something nicer. She makes her way into the restaurant, feeling her hands shake and her stomach turn as she searches for harmony, trying not to make eye contact with anyone else.

She finds her.  Sitting alone, perched in her seat with nothing with a smile as she also searches the restaurant, assumedly for Lucy. As she scans around the room, her eyes finally settle on lucy and Lucy could swear that she saw Harmony's shoulders dropped in relief as she smiles and waves Lucy over.

"You could've told me we were going to a restaurant, I would've worn something nicer," Lucy says as she takes a seat at the table, a waiter is already there filling up their glasses with wine. Yep, she was not prepared for this.

"Don't be silly, I think you look lovely." Lucy scoffs at this remark as she runs her hands along with the top her denim jeans and plays with the bottom of her blush silk blouse. In all things considered, this is the best that she has dressed in a while.

"So you lured me on this date for some good news?" Lucy questions as she reaches for her glass and takes a sip. Slowly concentrating on the alcohol that goes into her mouth. She knows she has to be careful with this or something seriously bad can happen.

"I wouldn't say I lured you, I merely persuaded you to come and grab something to eat with me" Harmony tries to hide her smile by placing her lips behind her wine glass but lucy catches her smile before harmony could hide it. Catching Lucy off guard as she starts to smile herself.

So it is a date?

Conversation flows between the two and before they know it they've got empty glasses and the waiter comes around again, topping up their glasses and asking whether the ladies are ready to order yet, but of course, neither of them have looked at the menu both just been to invested in the conversation. The waiter stands next to the table for a couple of minutes as Lucy decides to get a salad and Harmony the smoked salmon.

"So I'm going to take a stab at the dark here and say that I got the job?"  The pressure of this date finally settles in with Lucy as she starts to feel the sweat forming on her brow and the bottomless pit forming in her stomach. She needs out.

"Yeah I guess we can jump straight into it and say yeah, Love would be more than happy to have you working at the cafe, and I can't wait to see you around more as well," Harmony says as she brings her hand slightly forward, making contact with Lucy's hand and giving it a slight squeeze.

Lucy can barely hear what Harmony is saying, she can't focus on the time and dates that are being said as everything around her becomes unfocused. The sounds of her breathing get louder and faster as she looks around the romantic restaurant trying to find an exit.

Lucy hastily grabs her bag that hangs on the corner of the chair, places some money on the table and makes her way out of the door,  barely missing the waiter that carries her Caesar salad and Harmony's salmon in his hands, Lucy barges her way out the door and into the cold night air.

Not fair behind her is Harmony, calling and yelling out her name. Lucy stops and turns towards the beautiful girl calling out her name, tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Harmony, I thought I could do that but I can't okay. I can't sit in that restaurant with you, I can't smile and laugh with you, I can't order dinner and make small talk with you. I just can't okay and you're not allowed to ask me to do those things with you again."

Harmony says nothing except grabbing Lucy by her shoulders and pulling her down to the curb on the road, in front of the restaurant and encouraging her to take small long breaths, she doesn't try and get an explanation out of her as she can see that this girl in front of her is incredibly broken and not in any way ready to speak about the 'why'.

They stay there for hours on end, not speaking, not moving, just breathing.

To Lucy, that is enough for now.