Devilishly handsome, flashed across her mind, as she considered the large male blocking her path. Warning signals went off–the late hour, the deserted trail– but his charm distracted her from her better judgment.

"You're a very pretty girl. Where are you going?" He tilted her chin causing her hood to fall back from her face.

He must be more than twice her age. She stepped back reflexively, but his touch caused a tingle to go down her spine. Before she knew it, she began to blather on about her grandmother–how wonderful she was, how lonely as a widow, how she tried to help her date online, and how Tinder didn't go well.

She wondered if he was even listening as he checked his pocket watch and straightened his tie. But then he looked her straight in the eye and replied, grinned and barring all of his perfect white teeth.

"Sounds like a woman of my generation. Why don't you share her contact with me and perhaps I'll ask her out on an old-fashioned type of date."

Little Red Riding Hood, paused. She didn't even know this stranger. But he was pretty cute and granny might like some company.

"Ok," she chirped and scrolled through her phone. The wolf licked his chops in anticipation.

...screw it...

_____

"The low condo fees are appealing, but my TV would look tiny in that nook, compared to the one this place is staged with," said Mr. Wurst.

"Oh, this old thing!" the real estate agent batted her heavily made-up eyes at her client. " She leaned so close to Mr. Wurst he could smell her perfume and caught a glimpse down her cleavage.

"I tell you what, I'll make sure it stays," she whispered.

"Wow," said Mr. Wurst, elbowing his two brothers who he'd brought along with him for this big decision.

"These floors are a cheap laminate," snorted his younger brother.

"And these walls won't hold up to a strong wind," cautioned his older brother.

Mr. Wurst wrinkled his nose. "That kind of huffy-puffy event only happens once every couple of hundred years. Besides, this is such a hip neighborhood with so many good-looking women." He nodded towards his buxom agent.

"You're a pig!" said his older brother.

Mr. Wurst turned to the real estate agent, grinning. "I'll take it."

"Fantastic," said the agent, "Straw Hills Condominiums is the in place to be these days. Let's go out with your brothers to celebrate."

She put an arm around the eldest brother's plump wasteline and gave him a wink. "I know of a few brink townhomes that are way underpriced for their quality."

...scratch that...

_______

Goosebumps covered Goldie and she was seconds away from shitting herself. Fortunately, the first house she got to was unlocked. After soiling the front hall bathroom, she started rifling through the bedrooms.

She found a joint in the kid's dresser drawer and lit it up. Hmm, stale. Not that she cared. She pocketed some cheap necklaces and earrings from Mama's jewelry box before finding a few Xanax. Goldie swallowed them quickly for good measure, but she needed to find something stronger or she was going to go into full-blown withdrawal.

Finally, at the bottom of Papa's sock drawer, a gold mine. Half a bottle of oxy. She smashed and snorted them on the nightstand before falling back into Papa Bear's bed. Ah, just right, she thought before passing out.

...forget it. It's all been done before...