Getchoo

About two weeks after my junior year at William McKinley High School began, Blake texted me and asked me if I could come over to his house for band practice, and of course, I said yes. I had only seen Blake a handful of times since the school year started, and I was desperate to reconnect with my best friend. School hadn't gotten any better since that first day, and The Love Martyrs still hadn't started recording our EP. I made a mental note to ask Blake about that as Mom handed me the keys to her car. "Be back by eight," she told me. "You need to leave some time to finish your homework."

"I know, Mom. We'll probably be done long before eight," I said. "See you later."

"Have fun at Blake's, Dani!" she exclaimed as I walked out of the house. I loaded my bass guitar into the trunk of Mom's car, got into the driver's seat, and drove to Blake's house.

He lived on the other side of town, in a plain-looking two-story house that was a little bit larger than mine. I parked in the driveway and rang the doorbell, and Blake let me in to the house. His parents didn't seem to be home. "Hey Dani," Blake said. "How have you been?"

"Terrible," I said.

"Why?" Blake asked as he headed toward the basement.

I followed him downstairs as I explained just how awful school was without him. "I miss you a lot, Blake," I said.

Blake laughed and then said, "Sorry Dani, but I'm not going back to McKinley, even if you give me a million dollars. High school was a living hell for me. By the way, my parents are trying to enroll me in community college."

"Really?"

"They think that I should either go to college or get a 'real job.' Why can't they just be proud of the work that I'm doing with The Love Martyrs? We're making a lot of money from our shows, and we have fans in Japan. I don't see how they can say that I don't have a real job."

"Yeah, that sounds awful," I said, even though I knew that Mom and Jason would have never let me do what Blake did. Mr. and Mrs. Pinkerton may have been disappointed in Blake and his life choices, but Mom might have killed me if I didn't enroll in a four-year college.

"I swear that I'm going to move out of this place as soon as I save up enough money," Blake said. He paused for a moment and then said, "On second thought, there's a scratch on the Mazda's windshield. I might need to get that fixed."

"How did that happen?"

"That's the scariest part. I have no idea!"

"What else is going on?" I asked. "How's the search for true love going?"

"What search for true love?"

"You talked about it at the last Love Martyrs concert. You said that you were tired of sleeping around and that you wanted to find true love."

"Oh yeah," Blake said. "I tried that for a little while, but I'm pretty convinced that true love doesn't exist."

"What makes you think that?"

"I don't know. Maybe I just haven't met the right girl yet, but I'm not sure that I really believe in love or soulmates or anything like that. Do you?" I shrugged, and Blake continued to speak. "Looking for love just doesn't seem worth it anymore."

"You seemed pretty convinced that you wanted someone to fall in love with last time I saw you."

"I guess I've changed my mind."

There was an awkward silence as Blake's words echoed through the basement. As much as I didn't want Blake to go back to screwing every groupie he laid his eyes upon, I wasn't about to interfere in his love life.

"Do you want to practice?" Blake finally asked.

"Sure," I said as I opened up my bass guitar case. I took out the instrument and tuned it, and then we started to play. The whole house seemed to shake from the noise, but Blake and I both had big smiles on our faces, pretending as if we were playing to a massive, adoring audience instead of some basement furniture. We ran through our whole set, and I couldn't quite figure out how Blake didn't collapse from all of the dancing and screaming that he was doing. It was as if there was some kind of magic spell that kept him going.

After we were done playing, I asked Blake, "So when are we going to record all of those songs?"

"I don't know," Blake said. "Definitely not tonight."

"I wasn't asking about tonight," I said. "I have to be home by eight."

"That's a shame. I was wondering if you wanted to go to Aidan's party."

I had overheard students at McKinley talking about Aidan's party, but I never imagined that Blake would want to go. Aidan was a football player at McKinley, and I wasn't even aware that he and Blake knew each other. "As I said, my mom wants me home by eight."

"Come on," Blake said. "She won't care if you come home a little bit late. Besides, I heard that there would be food."

I was rather hungry after all of that practicing. "I'll go," I said. Almost as soon as I said it, I was sure that I would regret my decision later.

The two of us got into Blake's red Mazda, and he drove to Aidan's house with the windows down, blaring Weezer songs through the stereo. Once we got there, Blake mumbled something about how great it was that there would be hot girls and food at the party as he rang the doorbell. Aidan answered the door, greeted Blake, and let both of us in.

I immediately headed toward the food, but I soon saw that there was hardly anything left. I took the last handful of chips and ate them while Blake chatted with some girls that I recognized from school. I was pretty sure that one of them was in my English class, but I couldn't quite remember her name.

After I was done eating, there was nothing left to do. Everyone else was talking or dancing along to the absurdly loud pop music that was playing, but I just leaned against a wall, playing on my phone. It was eight o'clock already, and I wished that I could just go home like my mom wanted me to. I wanted to do my homework and go to bed, if only to make this day end already, but I realized that I was stuck here. My mom's car was at Blake's house, so I needed Blake to drive me back to his house before I could go home, and Blake seemed to have no desire whatsoever to leave the party.

About an hour went by, and I got so bored that I actually did my AP Bio homework at the party. Thankfully, my textbook was online, so I could read off of my phone, but the screen was too small, and the music was playing too loudly for me to focus. However, I did finish my reading, so if Mom asked, I could say that I did my homework at Blake's house. I didn't need to tell her about the party. I could just pretend that none of this had happened.

All of a sudden, someone that I didn't expect to see at this party approached me. I looked up from my online textbook to see Jen/Lynn/whatever her name was approaching me. Her red hair was carefully styled, and she was wearing rather heavy makeup. A petite girl with a light complexion, straight black hair, and deep brown, almond shaped eyes was following Jen/Lynn.

"Hey Madeline, Dani Blue from The Love Martyrs is here," Jen/Lynn said to her friend.

"Who are The Love Martyrs?" Madeline asked.

"They're a really good local band," Jen/Lynn said. The two girls then walked up to me, and Jen/Lynn said, "Dani, it's so good to see you! I'd like to introduce you to my friend Madeline," as if she was actually my friend and not a girl whose name I didn't know who had slept with my best friend once. "Madeline shreds the cello like you wouldn't believe."

"It's nice to meet you," I said to Madeline.

"Is Blake here?" Jen/Lynn asked suddenly.

I looked around for Blake, and I spotted him in the center of the room, dancing with some girl that I didn't recognize. "Yeah, he's here," I said.

Jen/Lynn ran off to talk to Blake, and Madeline gestured in her direction and told me, "She, like, like, kind of dragged me to this, like, party."

For the whole time I knew her, Madeline said "like" too much. I'm sure that she still does. It was kind of annoying, but if Madeline ever reads this, she won't want to read about every single time she said "like" during her junior year of high school, so I'll leave all of that out.

"I don't really want to be here either," I admitted.

"Do you go to McKinley?" Madeline asked. I nodded and she said, "I thought I recognized you."

"Now that I think about it, you look familiar too." I groaned and said, "I just want to go home and go to bed."

"Me too. I don't want to go to school tomorrow, but I am looking forward to Quiz Bowl."

"What's Quiz Bowl?"

"It's a competition where we answer trivia questions," Madeline said. "It's really fun, but there's only three of us on the team right now. We'd love to have a fourth person, preferably someone who can answer science questions. Devon can sometimes handle physical science questions, but all of us are terrible at life science, and there's a life science question in every match. Anyways, we have practice on Monday."

"That seems kind of cool," I said, mostly in an attempt to be polite.

"You should come to our practice. We love having new people come."

"I don't know. I'll think about it."

Madeline looked around the room and then said, "I should go find my neighbor and make sure that she hasn't gotten into any trouble. I'll see you around, Dani." She left to find the redhead, and I went back to leaning against the wall and feeling sorry for myself.

I know that I said I wouldn't say anything else about Madeline's overuse of the word "like," but it's worth mentioning that in that short conversation, Madeline said "like" no fewer than thirty two times.

I shoved my phone into my pocket, looked around the room, and watched Madeline as she walked up to Blake and Jen/Lynn. I wasn't sure why I couldn't take my eyes off of her or why I was actually considering joining Quiz Bowl or why I felt so drawn to Madeline after such a short conversation. My heart was pounding, and it wasn't because of the overly loud music. However, instead of actually doing something, I stayed glued to the wall and watched Madeline and Blake from a distance.

I couldn't hear a word that they were saying, but I could see Madeline smiling as she talked to Blake. Her whole face lit up as Blake laughed louder than he had in years. I could hear him all the way on the other end of the room, howling over whatever it was that Madeline had said. They danced together, awkwardly at first, but Blake and Madeline soon got the hang out it, gazing into each other's eyes as he spun her around and around.

Realizing that I might never get a ride home if they continued on like this, I walked up to Blake after the song ended. "Blake, I really need to get home," I told him.

Blake rolled his eyes and told Madeline, "I'll be back soon. Will you wait for me, butterfly?"

Madeline nodded, and Blake and I left the house and got into the red Mazda. Once we were both in the car, Blake asked, "Dani, do you believe in love at first sight?"

"Didn't you say earlier that you didn't believe in love at all?" I said.

"Yeah, but I've changed my mind," Blake said. "Madeline is just so perfect."

"You met her ten minutes ago," I reminded him.

"She's super hot."

"There's more to a girl to that."

"Then I'll be able to discover even more wonderful things about her."

"What if she turns to be terrible? What if she's a psychopath or a drug addict or a serial killer?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"What if she likes the Pittsburgh Steelers?"

"Dani, you don't understand. I've never liked a girl like this."

"I don't think you're thinking this relationship through."

"What's your problem, Dani?" Blake said, slamming on the brakes as we approached a stop sign. "You were the one who told me that finding love was a great idea, and now that I've found a girl that I really care about, you're criticizing my relationship."

"It's barely even a relationship!" I exclaimed. "You met her ten minutes ago!"

We arrived at Blake's house, and once I was out of the car, Blake immediately backed out of the driveway and sped back to the party. I got into Mom's car and started driving back to my house, nearly two hours after I was supposed to be home.

Mom was unsurprisingly furious when I got home, but I didn't have the energy to talk back to her. I just went to bed, wishing that I hadn't argued with Blake. He seemed happy when he was with Madeline, and that was what mattered.

Right before I fell asleep, I texted Blake, "How's the party?"

A few seconds later, he texted me a picture of him and Madeline making silly faces. I laughed and then turned off my phone. Blake definitely had his faults, but I had to be a better friend to him too, or at least that was what I told myself.

On Wednesday, I ran into Madeline while I was walking from lunch to AP Bio. She waved to me, and I waved back but kept walking. Madeline, on the other hand, started running to catch up to me and asked, "Have you given Quiz Bowl any more thought?"

"Not really," I said. "I've been busy." It wasn't a total lie. My AP Bio teacher had been assigning a lot of homework.

"We have a meeting today after school if you'd like to try it out."

"I'm kind of busy then. Blake and I are recording the new Love Martyrs EP after school." That was definitely a lie. Blake and I had never decided on a time to record the EP.

"Oh, okay," Madeline said. "Have fun recording the EP. I should get to orchestra. We're rehearsing the Elgar today. See you later, Dani!"

"Bye Madeline," I said. I felt a little bit bad for lying to Madeline, especially when she seemed so kind and genuine about her offer to join the team, but truthfully, I just didn't want to spend any more time in Mrs. Welch's classroom than I had to.

Madeline ran off to orchestra, and I took out my phone and texted Blake. "When are we going to record the EP?" I asked him.

"How about Sunday?" Blake suggested.

"I have church on Sunday."

"When does church end? I'll pick you up."

I texted him that it ended around eleven o'clock, along with the address. Then, I texted Tommy when we wanted to record, and he promised that he would make it happen. Already, I couldn't wait until we went into the studio. We may have been two kids playing dress-up, but we had big dreams for our little band, and recording an EP seemed like the beginning of making those dreams come true.

The next few days just felt like opening acts for Sunday. School was just as boring as it always was, and I was still eating lunch in that empty classroom, but I could motivate myself by thinking of our recording session. I listened to my favorite bands over and over again, even though most of them sounded nothing like the Love Martyrs, hoping for some inspiration. Blake would probably be the one making all of the decisions once we actually got there, but I could at least pretend as if I was the one in charge of crafting a masterpiece.

Who was I kidding? I've listened to the Love Martyrs EP. It's not a masterpiece.

On Sunday, Mom and Jason woke Sydney and I up early, and they drove us to Crossroads Evangelical Church. To be honest, Sydney and I were still getting used to having to go to church every Sunday. Before the divorce, Mom would bring us to her church for Christmas and Easter, and Dad would bring us to his synagogue for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. I never minded the arrangement, since I got presents for both Christmas and Hanukkah, and I only had to listen to religious authorities lecturing a few times per year. After Mom married Jason, however, Sydney and I suddenly had to listen to him preach every Sunday. Mom once tried to justify it by saying that "It's the least you can do for your father," but I always thought that was a bad excuse.

"My father is in Vancouver," I told her.

She glared at me and told me to get in the car, and we never argued about going to church again. Mom and Jason just told Sydney and I that we needed to go, and we went along with it, whether we wanted to or not.

On that particular Sunday, I went through the motions like I usually did. I greeted Jason's friends, answered their questions without asking any of my own, followed Mom to a pew in the front row, stood up when I was supposed to, sat down when I was supposed to, pretended like I was listening to the sermon, sang every hymn out of tune, and drank my tiny glass of grape juice and ate my cracker just like everyone else. When it was time to pray, I asked the Lord for a great recording session and to make the Love Martyrs into the best band in the world.

When I got to college, I stopped going to church, but I still pray sometimes, if only out of habit. I would never pray for something so superficial now. If there's a God out there, He has better things to do than to grant my wishes.

Once the service was finally over, Sydney and I headed into the hallway. I looked out the window, but I couldn't find Blake's red Mazda in the parking lot, so I followed Sydney into another room, where there was a table filled with food. I got a plate of fruit and a cinnamon roll and chatted with my sister as I waited for Blake to show up.

"I want to go home," Sydney complained.

"You know that Jason has to stay late," I said.

"Yeah, but I have homework due tomorrow."

"Wait until you get to high school, Sydney. You'll have a lot more homework next year."

Sydney groaned and then said, "I don't want to go to high school."

"High school is pretty terrible, but it's better than middle school," I said. "I promise."

"Anything's better than middle school."

"That's definitely true. Middle school is a very low bar."

"Getting boiled alive for three years would be better than going to middle school."

I laughed and said, "I wouldn't go that far."

Sydney suddenly changed the subject. "Blake's picking you up, right?"

"Yeah. We're going to the studio to record an EP."

"That's so cool."

"Thanks," I said, smiling as I thought about going to the studio. It was hard to believe that it would happen in only a few minutes.

"I wish I had a friend like him," Sydney said. "Nobody at my school likes the same things that I do."

"Blake doesn't even go to McKinley anymore."

"You still hang out with him all the time."

That much was true. I shrugged and said, "It's not quite the same as having him at school."

"It's better than not having any friends at all."

"Sydney, you have friends."

"Not really," Sydney said. "Rory moved to Kentucky, and Christine started hanging out with these girls in her art class."

"Well, you have me," I said. "I'll be your friend."

All of a sudden, Blake's red Mazda raced into the parking lot, scaring a family with small children that was about to cross the street. Blake then honked the horn, and I rolled my eyes. "I have to go, Sydney," I said. "I'll see you after I'm done at the studio."

"Bye Dani," Sydney said as she ate her cinnamon roll. A part of me wished that I could stay with my sister, at least Mom and Jason came back, but what could I do? Blake and I had to record our EP.

I ran out of the church and into the passenger seat of Blake's car. As I buckled my seatbelt, Blake eyed my dress. "Pastel dresses aren't exactly crunk or core, Dani," he said.

"Give me a break," I said. "I just got out of church."

"We could go back to your..." he said before suddenly realizing that we didn't have time to go anywhere except for straight to the studio. Blake swore and then kept driving, usually far above the speed limit, until we got to the recording studio.

When we got there, Tommy was standing outside the door. "I'm glad you guys made it," he said. "Let's go inside."

I grabbed my bass from out of the trunk of Blake's car, and Tommy led Blake and I into the recording studio. He showed us around, introducing us to all sorts of people in the music industry whose names I could never seem to keep track of. Maybe it was the light purple skirt brushing my knees that made me pay attention to the men in suits, but I was acutely aware that I was the only girl in the studio. It was as if when Blake and I had stepped into the studio, we had stepped out of reality and into one of those fantasy novels where women just don't seem to exist.

Recording was pretty neat, but it wasn't anything like I imagined. Blake ended up doing everything except for the bass lines, so I spent most of my time sitting there, staring at the walls of the recording studio. There wasn't even a fog machine for me to turn on and off like there was at our live shows. However, there was a producer piecing everything together, adding in hip-hop beats and Auto-Tuning Blake's vocals, and he let Blake and I listen to the songs that we had recorded after we were done. "It sounds so cool!" Blake exclaimed.

"Yeah, it does," I said, impressed by how professional we sounded. "Do we have enough songs to make an EP?"

"I think adding one or two more songs would be a good idea," Blake said.

"Which songs should we add?" I asked.

"I don't know. I don't like how 'The Weekend' turned out, but 'Playerz' isn't a good enough song to record. Maybe I should just write some new songs, or we could do some covers." Blake paused and then said, "Let's just deal with this next week. Tommy, can you book us some time in the studio next weekend?"

"Consider it done," Tommy said.

Blake and I left the studio and got into his car. "What songs are we going to cover?" I asked him as he plugged his phone in and started playing music.

"I don't know. I mostly said that to buy us some more time. Can you just chill out, Dani?"

I stared out the window, not quite knowing what to say. My mind drifted toward thinking of Madeline and her offer to join Quiz Bowl, and I thought about actually joining, or at least going to one of their meetings to see what all of the fuss was about. I needed something more in my life than making obnoxious crunkcore music to help Blake get whatever girl he wanted. Blake was my best friend, but I needed something that I could do for my own sake, without him. When it came to that, Quiz Bowl was as good as anything else.