Have you ever been asked, "What's your love language?"

Chances are, you have. Because the concept - was first created by counselor and pastor Gary Chapman, unpacked in a series of books, and picked up by many others - has spread far and wide. The five love languages refer to the five simple ways that we want love to be shown to us and the ways that we show others love. I'm a relationship researcher, and while I haven't empirically studied the love languages concept, other academics have. Some of the published studies confirm the validity of love language, revealing they can increase people's relationship satisfaction and longevity. What I find so helpful about love languages is that they express a basic truth. Implicit to the concept is a common-sense idea: We don't feel or experience love in the same way. Some of us will only be content when we hear the words " I love you ", some prize quality time together, while some will feel most cared for when our partner scrubs the toilet.

In this way, love is a bit like a country's currency: One coin or bill has great value in a particular country, less value in the countries that border it, and zero value in many other countries. In a relationship, it's essential to learn the emotional currency of the humans we hold dear, and identifying their love languages is part of it.

No matter your situation - whether you're living alone, spending 24/7 with a partner or roommates, living with adult kids, or steering younger kids through virtual school - the five languages are a highly effective set of tools to have in your relational toolkit. When we know what another person's love language is, we can choose the gestures that will most resonate with our partner, friend, parent, or child. And we know which actions speak to us and make us feel loved, we can ask other people for exactly what we need.

While there are plenty of online quizzes to tell you what your love language is, it's easy to figure out yours and what your loved ones are by looking at what lights them up, and what presents they give you (since many of us bestow on others what we would most like), and what their perfect day would look and feel like.

Here's a look at the five languages and how they can be applied and optimized - even during a pandemic.