Argh, I'm so sorry! This isn't my normal update day, and this isn't the result of anyone's prompt, and it's sort of short, and I'm sorry! But my mom, grandma, and I went on this trip, and we were in the car for four hours, and I was listening to a random playlist on my tablet, and “Back to December” by Taylor Swift played, and I was in the mood for MunchingUniverse and feels, and...

This happened.

Pairing: MunchingUniverse

Warnings: NOPE, JUST FEELS EXPLOSIONS

Song: “Back to December” by Taylor Swift (PLZ LISTEN TO IT WHILE READING THIS, IT'S JUST SO FEELSY, LIKE ASDLFIJHASDL)

Word Count: 1,047 (not TOO bad)

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life? Tell me how's your family
I haven't seen them in a while

You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why

“So, how've you been?” I ask.

“Good.”

“I, uh, haven't seen you in a while.”

“Yeah.”

“Would you like to-”

“No.”

“But-”

“Can't. I'm busy.”

“Oh. O-Okay.”

Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right
I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up, playing back myself leavin'
When your birthday passed and I didn't call

“Well, maybe later we could-”

“No, Jason.”

“You said my name!”

“And I never want to say it again.”

“Tyler, I'm really sorry-”

“'Sorry' doesn't cut it.”

And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side and
Realized I loved you in the fall

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"

“Tyler, please, I- I was just scared! I've been hurt before, and, I just- I didn't want to go through that again.”

“Oh? Well, thanks to you, Jason, I've been hurt before, too. And I don't want to go through that again, either.”

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

“Tyler, if I could take back everything I did, I swear, I would! But I can't. Every night I think back to what I did and what I could have done, and I regret it all, Tyler. I'm so sorry. I should have stayed with you, I hate myself for not staying by your side, but I was stupid and afraid, and I didn't stay, I left, and I'm so sorry.”

“Goodbye, Jason.”

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry

I stand in front of Tyler's front door, trying to plan out a pretty speech that will impress him, but then I realize it'd be better if I just told him how I feel.

So I open my mouth to pour out my feelings, and I end up spewing song lyrics.

“Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.

And I'd go back in time and change it,

But I can't.” A choked sob escapes my throat, and I cough slightly to clear it before singing quietly, “So if the chain is on your door...

I understand.

But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December...
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time.”

He doesn't open the door.

So I break down crying right there on the front porch, because he was perfection, he was special, he was mine, I loved him... And I lost him. I hurt the most beautiful boy in the entire world, I left him after he gave up everything to be with me, I broke him, and now I have to pay the consequences.

“What have I done?” I cry, hugging my knees to my chest and closing my eyes while sitting against the side of the building. Honestly, I don't deserve a second chance. “Good going, Jason,” I sniffle to myself. “You lost the only person you've ever truly loved.”

I dig the nails in my right hand into the palm of my left, like some kind of punishment. Of course, I deserve much worse than this for hurting someone as perfect as Tyler.

Suddenly, I feel arms wrapping around me. “Don't hurt yourself,” he whispers in my ear, and it sounds like he's been crying as well.

“Wh-Why shouldn't I?” I sob. “I h-hurt you!”'

“But for a long time, you were the only thing that made me happy. It's OK, Jason.”

“But... B-But... Why d-didn'-t you open the d-d-door?”

“You idiot! I wasn't in the house, Stupid. I was picking up some things from the store, and I came home to see you standing here in front of my door, singing Taylor Swift songs, and- and I couldn't believe that you were still fighting for me, even after I had pushed you away so many times, and- and-” He bursts into tears. “I'm so sorry, Jason!”

So we sit here, crying and hugging on his front porch, for about twenty minutes before I finally get the courage to say it. “Tyler?”

“Y-Yes?”

“I love you.”

He smiles. “I love you, too.”

“I will always love you.”

“I will always love you back.”

“...Do you ever go back to December?” I ask, wondering if he regrets that day as much as I do, if he replays it over and over in his mind like I do.

“All the time.”

THE END