8.00pm Raman and Ishita's Bedroom

Ishita stood hesitatingly before the closed door of her bedroom. Unshed tears glistened in her eyes as she gathered her courage and slowly opened the door.

She took a deep breath and stepped into the room, closing the door softly behind her.

The sight that greeted her caused her tears to well again. Raman was lying back against the headboard, a grimace distorting his face, tears running down his cheeks. His hands were cradling his head, his eyes screwed shut.

Ishita ran up to the bed, her heart in her mouth.

"Raman" she cried out, flinging herself on the bed beside him, her hands reaching out to him. "Kya hua. What's wrong?" Does your head hurt?. Mein doctor ko call karti hoon. Raman, please, kuch kahiye na"
(Raman, what happened? What's wrong? Does your head hurt? I'll call the doctor. Raman, please, say something.)

Raman remained still, his eyes still closed, shocked at hearing Ishita's voice. He could hear the anguish, the desperation and the entreaty in her voice, and a fresh wave of remorse and guilt engulfed him.

"Raman, kya bahut dard hai? Kyun release kiya hospital ne itni jaldi. Aur saare din aap ne kaam kyun kiya. Yeh phone kahan hai, doctor ko mein.., Raman, aap ko kuch ho gaya, toh mein kaise jiyongi." Ishita was blabbering incoherently as she held on to his shoulders, her tears falling and mingling with his.
(Raman, does it hurt a lot? Why did they release you from hospital so early? And why did you work all day? Where is the phone, I need to call the doctor....Raman, how will I live if anything happens to you)

She gasped in relief as Raman opened his eyes.

"Raman" her voice was wracked with sobs . "Aap fikr mat kijiye, mein doctor ko call karti hoon. Sab theek ho jayega Raman, kuch nahi hoga apko"
(Raman, don't worry, I'll call the doctor. Everything will be fine Raman, nothing will happen)

She stood up, but he reached out and held her hand, pulling her back down onto the bed.

"Kuch nahi hua mujhe Ishita" (There's nothing wrong with me Ishita) he said quietly, scrubbing away his tears with his free hand.

"Lekin Raman, aap ro kyun rahe theh?" she gripped his hand tightly. "Kahan dard hai?"
(But Raman why are you crying? Where does it hurt?)

"Yahan" (Here) he pointed to his heart, a wry smile twisting his features, watching her as the panic subsided on her face, to be replaced by bewilderment. She stayed silent, her cheeks still wet with tears, the thudding of her heart evident in the quick rise and fall of her chest.

"Kyun, Ishita?" (Why Ishita?) he asked softly.

"Kyun kya, Raman" (Why What Raman?) she responded, her voice uncertain.

"Kyun itna fikr karti ho meri? Kitne dinon se koshish kar raha hoon, tumhe khud se dur karne ki. Toh phir kyun itne asoon girati ho mere liye? Ive done everything to turn you away, so why?"
(Why do you worry so much about me? I've been trying for so many days to distance you from myself. Then why do you shed so many tears for me? Ive done everything to turn you away, so why?)

Ishita drew a deep breath, remembering the advice her mother and Mummyji had just given her.

"Because I care for you Raman" she whispered. " I care for you a lot"

"I know you care for me" he replied. "Jaanta hoon, andha nahi hoon. Lekin mein toh tumhara pasand nahi hoon, na Ishita? Bura ...bura admi hoon mein, bura pati hoon. You're right, bura pati hoon mein. Bahut koshish ki ek achhe pati ban-ne ki, lekin joh bhi kiya, sab ulta ho gaya. I cant make you happy Ishita, toh kya haq hai mujhe ki mein tum ko is bandhan mein baandh kar rakhoon?"
(I know you care for me. I can see that, I'm not blind, but I'm not your choice, am I Ishita? I'm a... a bad person, a bad husband. You're right, I'm a bad husband. I've tried to be a good husband to you, but whatever I do goes wrong. I cant make you happy Ishita, so what right do I have to keep you tied to this relationship?)

Ishita stared at her husband in disbelief.

"Mein ne kab kaha ki aap bure pati hai Raman?" she asked incredulously. "mein ne kab kaha ki mein khush nahi hoon. Im happy with you Raman, aap aise kyun keh rahe ho?"
(When did I say that you're a bad husband? When did I say that I'm not happy with you? I'm happy Raman, why are you saying all this?)

"Tum ne nahi kaha, lekin woh tumhare best friend ne kaha" Raman said quietly, sadness shadowing his face as he relived again the time in hospital when Mani had butted in to tell the doctor about Ishita's medical history, had lectured Raman on what a bad husband he was. "Aur woh to tumhe sab se acchi tarah se jaanta hai na? Zuban uski thi, lekin sentiments toh tumhare theh , na Ishita? Is liye toh mein samajh nahi pata, jab tumhe mein itna bura lagta hoon, jab meri har baat se tumhe chidh hai, jab meri Saath se zyaada tumhe Mani ka saath pasand hai, toh phir kyun care karti ho?"
(You may not have said it, but your best friend did. And he knows you best, doesn't he? It was his voice, but they were your sentiments weren't they Ishita? And that's why I can't understand, why, if you think I'm so bad, if everything I do annoys you, if you prefer to be with Mani rather than with me, then why do you still show so much care towards me?)

"Raman!" Ishita let go of his hand and stood up abruptly, aghast at what she was hearing. "Mani ne aap se kaha ki aap acche pati nahi hai? Ki mein aap ke saath khush nahi hoon? Kab?"
(Raman! Mani told you that you're a bad husband, that I'm not happy with you? When?)

"Jab tum hospital mein thi" Raman replied, looking intently at her. "I know Ishita, tumhari woh haalat meri wajah se hua tha. And Mani was not wrong. Mein..."
(When you were admitted to hospital. I know Ishita, you were in that condition because of me. And Mani was not wrong, I...)

His voice trailed off as Ishita sat down again, her eyes blazing as she stared at him. "Mani ne aap se yeh sab kaha, aur aap ne yeh maan liya ki yeh meri bhi soch hai. Kyun Raman?" Her voice had risen an octave.
(So Mani said something to you and you automatically assumed that those were my views too? Why Raman?)

"Toh aur kya sochta Ishita?" Raman's voice had also risen to match hers. The anger which blazed in her eyes finding an ally in his. "Jab se Mani wapas aaya hai, tum hum sab se zyaada time toh uske saath bitati hai na. Koi mauka nahi chodthe ho, tum aur woh Mani, yeh jataane ke liye ki woh tumhe kitni acchi tarah se jaanta. Apni har baat uske saath share karti ho. Toh fir yeh kaise nahi sochta mein ki woh joh keh raha hai, woh tumhari bhi soch hai, tumhari bhi opinion hai."
(Then what was I supposed to think? Ever since he hit here, you spend most of your time with him. You don't leave an opportunity, you and that Mani, to show how well he knows you, understand you. You share everything with him. Then what else am I supposed to think, then that what he said is also your thinking, your opinion?)

"Raman, Mani mera dost hai, sirf dost" Ishita blinked back the tears which again threatened her. "Koi haq nahi tha usko, ki woh aap ki aur meri beech mein aye, aapse yeh kahe ki aap kaise pati hai." She took a deep breath. "Raman, I'm sorry. mujhe nahi pata tha ki Mani ne aisa kiya, ki aap aisa feel kar rahe ho, nahi pata tha ki mera Mani ke saath waqt bitana aap ko bura lag raha tha."
(Raman, Mani is a friend, just a friend. He has no right to come between us, to tell you what sort of husband you are. I'm sorry, I didn't know what Mani had said to you. And I didn't know how you were feeling, I didn't know that you dislike my spending time with Mani)

"Mujhe tumhara Mani ke saath waqt bitana bura nahi lagta Ishita" Raman had quietened again, her tears melting him as always. " Bura mujhe ye lagta hai ki tum Mani ke saath hamaare rishtey ki baat kar rahi thi. Bura mujhe yeh lagta hai ki tum apne saare kaam ke liye Mani ke paas jaati hai, aur mere paas nahi. Tum toh jaise mujhe bhul hi gayi Ishita" his last sentence was barely above a whisper.
(I don't mind your spending time with him Ishita. What I mind is that you discuss our relationship with him. It hurts me that you go to him for every little thing, and not to me. It's as if you have forgotten me Ishita...)

Ishita sat quietly, stunned into silence by her husbands words. Amma and Mummyji had just told her the same thing, but hearing it from Raman brought home to her the fact that her husband had been very deeply hurt. She thought back on her unthinking actions of the past few weeks, remembered al the things Raman had been trying to do to help her, remembered the ways in which she had rebuffed him.

Raman looked intently at her for a few moments, then with a sigh he got up and walked slowly to the window. He stood facing the darkened night sky, both hands tightly gripping the window grills.

Ishita stood up slowly and walked over to her husband. Her mother in laws words reverberated in her ears "Ek baar Raman ko bata do ki tum usse pyar karti ho, phir dekhna, woh tumhari zindagi pyar se bhar dega." (Just tell Raman once that you love him and he will fill your life with love)

Mihir, Mihika, Mummyji, everyone had told her that Raman cared about her, loved her. But he would not say it. Tonight she too had seen the love hidden in his defeated face, but she knew that if she wanted him to accept his feelings, she would have to take the first step.

Her husband was simply too vulnerable, too wary of rejection to take the first step. And her actions with Mani had not helped. Deep inside she acknowledged that she had been thrilled when Raman had appeared jealous of Mani, but she had not given a thought as to how he would feel, given what Shagun had done to him.

She had been hurt in love before too, but Raman had been the means by which she had been able to get over her infertility, the reason why Subbu had rejected her. Marriage to Raman had made her a mother, yet the only way Raman would ever get over his hurt, defeat his demons, was if he accepted that he was loved, that he was a good husband, that his wife loved him most of all. And in that, Ishita knew she had failed Raman.

Well, now it was time to put things right. Tonight was the night for redemption. She stopped behind him and tentatively put a hand on his shoulder.

"Raman" she whispered