ICU

Ishita sat on the edge of the chair the nurse had pulled up for her, her body trembling as she looked down at her unconscious husband.

She was glad of the support of the chair, for her legs had seemed to buckle, had threatened to give way, on seeing her Raavan in this state. He had always been the one protecting her, their entire family, the one in control, the Provider, the Protector. Even though she had seen him defeated and vulnerable before, when drunk during Ruhi's custody case and the Adi fiasco, when he had taken a stand seemingly for Shagun during the Adi case, she had never seen him like this. Yes, she had seen him vulnerable, but this stillness, this utter and complete void in which he now lay, this was new.

And as she stared down at her still silent husband, Ishita realised, that for all that Raman had done for her and their family, she, and everyone, had started to take Raman for granted. It was only now, when he lay helpless before her, that she truly realised just how important his strength and his protection was for them all.

Silent tears coursed down her face as she softly took Raman's hand in hers. The touch of his skin on hers, coupled with his unresponsiveness threatened to push her over the edge. She quickly took a few deep breaths to calm herself down.

"I'm sorry Raman" she whispered under her breath " I know this happened because of me. You were targeted because of what happened when I was sick. You were here to pick up my medications. You always do so much for me Raman. You have shown you care in so many ways. Aur mein? Mein toh itni busy ho gayi thi sub kuch mein, ki mein ne apne ek dost ko aap se zyada time aur importance de di, aap ki bilkul parwah nahi ki. Mein dekh rahi thi, kuch haftoon se aap kitna pareshan hai, lekin aap se ek bhi baar mein ne achi se baat nahi ki. Bas Mani ke sang saara waqt bitati rahi. Mujhe maaf kardijiye Raman. Bas aap theek ho jayiye , mere paas wapas ayiye, I'll make it up to you, I promise. Raman, mein aap se bahut pyar karti hoon. Aur Mihir, Mihika jo keh rahe hai, kya woh sach hai, kya aap bhi? Raman, please uth jao na, I need you"
(I'm sorry Raman. I know this happened because of me. You were targeted because of what happened when I was sick. You were here to pick up my medications. You always do so much for me Raman. You have shown you care in so many ways. But I? I got so busy with everything else that I gave a friend more time and importance than you, I neglected you. I could see, from some weeks just how worried you were, but I never discussed things with you. I just kept on spending time with Mani. Please forgive me Raman. Get well, come back to me, I promise I'll make it up to you. Raman, I love you so much. And is what Mihir and Mihika saying really true? Do you love me too? Wake up Raman, I need you)

"Mrs Bhalla " the nurse interrupted her silent apology. " Five minutes are up. You have to leave now please"

Ishita gave a last agonized glance at her husband and then slowly stood up. "I'll be outside Raman" she whispered. "I'll never leave you."

************************************
The next three days passed excruciatingly slowly for Ishita.

She remained at the hospital, sitting outside the ICU, seizing moments beside Raman's bedside whenever she was allowed, eating only when forced. Mihika brought her clothes to change, and she slept on the bench outside the ICU whenever fatigue overcome her, but she resolutely refused to leave the hospital until Raman woke up. She spoke regularly to Ruhi on the phone, reassuring her, content that she was in Vandu akka's loving care.

People came and went, but nothing made much of an impression on her. She knew that Mani had come over on many occasions, bringing her Chinese food which lay untasted, his presence not even registering with her.

Her only concern, her single focus was on her husband.

If she could will him to recover, then she would make sure her every waking thought was the same - Raman, get up, get up Raman, her heart and mind screamed silently in unison.

The only time that anything external made an impression on her was when Toshiji arrived at the hospital. She had broken down in her mother in laws embrace, sobbing incoherently, apologising to her Mummyji for letting this happen to the man they both loved. Toshiji had reassured her, even as she shed her own tears, praying to her Matarani for her sons quick recovery.

And so the days had passed.

***********************************

It was the morning of the third day that Raman had been in a coma.

Both Ishita and Toshiji were sitting outside the ICU. Mr Bhalla had just gone home after having spent the night at the hospital, and Romi had gone to drop him. Toshiji, who had brought breakfast from home for Ishita, had been coaxing her to eat a few morsels when the door to Raman's room opened and Dr Nur and the Registrar stepped out.

Both Ishita and Toshiji got to their feet as Dr Nur approached them.

"Ishita, Mrs Bhalla" Dr Nur got straight to the point in her no nonsense way. "We have brought Raman out of the coma.We have done a series of tests, there doesn't appear to be any brain damage. But yes, he has been through some major trauma and he needs to rest. Is liye, usko yahan 4-5 days aur rukna padega. Hum usko doosre room men shift kar rahe hai, aur aap unhe visit kar sakte hai, but please dont stress him out. He needs to stay relaxed, usko koi bhi problem ya worry nahi hona chahiye. He may be a bit troubled and irritable, so please humor him. Uski kisi baat ko mana mat kijiye."
(We have brought Raman out of the coma.We have done a series of tests, there doesn't appear to be any brain damage. But yes, he has been through some major trauma and he needs to rest. That's why he needs to stay here for in recovery another four to five days. We are shifting him to another room, and you can visits him there, but please dont stress him out. He needs to stay relaxed, he shouldn't be faced with any problems or worries.. He may be a bit troubled and irritable, so please humor him. Don't contradict anything he says.)

Tears of happiness ran down both Ishita and Toshiji's faces. They hugged each other and then turned to approach Raman's room.

****************************

Raman lay still in the narrow hospital bed trying to take in everything Dr Nur had just told him.

Three days! He had been in a coma for three days? The last thing he remembered was walking to his car with Ishita's medication, and then, waking up now. He had been thinking of something important, hadn't he? Some decision he had to make.He furrowed his brows trying to think of what it had been that was so troubling him.

The sound of the door opening made him turn his head slightly and he winced at the dull throb that seemed to engulf his head, closing his eyes to try and ward off the pain.

"Raman, puttar"

He frowned at the sound of his mothers voice, opening his eyes again to see her standing beside his bed, tears of joy coursing down her face.

"Tu theek toh hai na puttar. Rab di meherbani, kitna dar gaye theh hum sab" Toshiji took his hand in hers and kissed it, being mindful of the doctors orders not to disturb him. (You're okay aren't you son? Thank the Lord, we were so scared)

"Ma, aap London se kab ayi?" (Ma, when did you come from London?) His voice was raspy, hoarse from disuse and the after effects of sedation.

"Kal puttar. Tu theek hai na Raman?"
(Yesterday, son. You're fine aren't you Raman?)

"Haan, woh mein..." (Yes, I'm just....) His voice died down as his eyes focussed on the woman standing behind his mother, sobbing silently, one hand covering her mouth.

"Ishita" he whispered.

Toshiji turned and beckoned to Ishita, extending a hand to her. "Aa Ishita puttar, tu dur kyun khadi hai"
(Come Ishita, my child. Why are you standing so far away?)

Ishita walked forward slowly, her eyes never once leaving Raman, but her vision dimmed by her gushing tears. She wanted to throw herself on Raman, to kiss away the pain evident in his tired eyes, to ruffle her hands through his hair, obscured by bandages as it was, to hold him close and never let him go. Instead she stood silently beside her Mummyji, trying to smile through her tears.

Seeing Ishita had brought back to Raman the dilemma that had been eating away at him.

"Of course" he told himself. "That was what I was worried about. The fact that Ishita was unhappy with me, that she thought I wasn't a good husband, the fact that I stood in the way of her possible happiness with Mani."

He looked up at her, noticing the tears that ran down her cheeks, her eyes reddened and swollen, her hair dishevelled and her clothes crumpled.

"Was she crying for me?" he wondered. But why? What was the point of her tears, when she didn't love him, wasn't happy with him. He had started to believe that she truly did care for him, but her reaction to the arrival of Mani had caused him to reevaluate his views. And then, when Mani had told him what an inconsiderate, insensitive, bad husband he was, he had known that Mani spoke for her, had tried to please her, to do what he thought would make her happy. But nothing he did had seemed to make a difference.

"Maybe she is better off without me" he thought. " And if I truly love her, than I have to let her go"

He sighed, and hardening his heart, spoke to her:

"Ishita, tum yahan kyun ho? Tumhe toh Ruhi ke saath hona chahiye. Tum toh Ruhi ki maa ho na, phir yahaan, mere liye..."
(Ishita, what are you doing here? You should be with Ruhi. You're Ruhi's mother, aren't you, so why here, for me....)

"Raman" Toshiji said, shocked, even as Ishita recoiled from Raman's words " Ishita teen din se yahan hai puttar, ek bhi baar ghar nahi gayi. Tu kyun aise keh raha hai puttar? "
(Raman. Ishita has been here for the last three days. She hasn't even gone home once. Why are you talking like this my child?)

"Ma'am, please" the nurse who had been checking some charts came over to the bed. "Patient ko upset mat kijiye. Ab aap log jayiye, Mr Bhalla ko rest karne dijiye"
(Ma'am please, don't upset the patient. Please go outside now, let Mr Bhalla rest)

Raman closed his eyes again. "Maa, Mihir ko kehna mujh se aa kar mile. Aur Ishita, tum Ruhi ke paas jao. She must be very worried. Don't let her or Adi come here please. Mein nahi chahta ki woh mujhe aise... Jao Ishita"
(Ma, tell Mihir to come and see me. And Ishita, you go to Tuhi. She must be very worried. Don't let her or Adi come here please. I don't want them to see me.... Go Ishita)