*4 years ago*

I just need to confirm it. that's all. it's probably a mistake. it can't be true. I thought to myself as I sat in the doctor's office waiting for my result. still a part of me was hoping it was true. I looked at the poster that was hanged on the doctors office. it had a lady and a man cuddling each other while holding a baby. I imagined Yeonjun and I on that poster while holding the baby. getting married soon and have a baby and a family, while we live in a cozy home.

but a side of me was still not prepared for this. I'm still doing my residency in the hospital, still have student debt to pay. still need to focus on my education and get a degree, so I can become a doctor. like I always wanted. But I still had hope that even if it's true, I trust Yeonjun and My family to support me. especially Yeonjun since he is the father.

The door of the office opens and the doctor comes in holding a folder with a smile on his face

"Good news Miss Cha Ah Rang" He said "You are 12 weeks pregnant"

I felt an overwhelming feeling collect in my chest, I wanted to jump in happiness, but burst out crying. Excited but nervous. I felt really conflicted but I knew there is no turning back now

"Yes, thank you doctor" I managed to say through the swelling in my throat as I felt tears fill up my eyes

"it's okay, baby. I'm fine. everything will be fine" I said rubbing on my tummy as I was waiting on the bus stop after leaving the city hospital. "Nothing to worry about. we will figure it out okay? we will figure something out. Im sure Yeonjun will be happy about you. He always told me how he wanted to have children"

I looked at the ring on my ring finger. "He promised me that we will get married. let's hope he keeps that promise"

the bus came and I took the bus back home. I was trying to prepare a speech in my head to present to my mom. she knows that I have missed my period and she was the one who forced me to get a pregnancy test. now she was home waiting for me with the news. She promised me to support me and help me as long as I just don't throw the child at her and leave.

"Mom, Im home" I said and I immediately heard footsteps rushing towards the living room. I turned and saw my mom standing there looking at me waiting for my answer. I didn't expect this from myself. but I broke down sobbing and ran and hugged her. I felt like I couldn't handle it anymore. I was scared. I'm scared. I didn't know what to do. What if nothing works out? what if things don't go like I hoped for it?

"What is it? positive? Negative?" she asked rubbing my back hugging me tightly

"I'm pregnant" I said and I heard her let out a sob

"Oh my god. Ah Rang" she cried "You are pregnant. Im so happy for you"

"Im scared mom" I confessed. she pulled away and looked at me in the eye as tears were streaming down her eyes

"Hey it's okay. I understand. I was also scared too. it's normal. but you need to be carful, too much stress can cause a complications, okay?" she said and I nodded "Dont worry, I will be here for you. Im sure Yeonjun will be happy about it. Didn't you say he always wanted a family?"

"Yeah"

"He already gave you a promise ring and you guys will get married. everything will be okay?" she said as she wiped my tears "When are you planning to tell him?"

"Tomorrow morning" I said smiling feeling better now that my mom assured me everything will be okay. Little did I know, it was no where of being okay. Because when I visited Yeonjun's place, His mother called me right into her office. the doctor who gave me my pregnancy results was also there. I immediately knew that she knows that Im pregnant with Yeonjun's child. I thought she would be happy for her son and I, but what she told me is totally opposite

"the doctor told me that you are pregnant. Here is the thing. I like you Ah Rang. I think you are a nice girl. but I don't want my son to have a future with you. He has the responsibility to take over the CEO position one day and I don't want this child to get in the way. I know it will get in the way of Yeonjun's career because thats what happened to me" She said "I would appreciate it if you don't tell him and break up with him"

"Miss Choi... I don't understand... I thought everything was fine and... you approved of us dating...Why?" I said as I felt tears build up my eyes and drop down on my cheek

"Listen here. I already have your papers transferred to the Town hospital so you can go there and work until the baby is born and Yeonjun doesn't know about this. That's what I want. It's best for Yeonjun. don't you want the best for him? I know my son the best and this is the best for him" she said "Break up with him and leave for the town hospital. You can work there for as long as you want. Just don't tell him and break up with him. you have a week"

"A week? Miss Choi... please don't do this... I love him please don't do this" I cried

"If you love him, you will do whats best for him? okay?" she said. then she opened her drawer and pulled out an envelope "I know this is a big favor for me to ask so here is what I can do to at least support you. I heard you were struggling with student debt, I hope this helps. also to support the child"

I looked at the envelope that was at the table and couldn't help but think how much it will benefit me. Maybe she is right. for the sake of Yeonjun he should have a successful career. He always wanted to help his dad running this hospital. it was his dream. I will just bother him with the constant demands that this baby will probably need. I stood up and took the money of the table. putting it into my bag avoiding Miss Choi's gaze.

"I'm only doing this for him, Miss Choi" I whispered

"Thank you I knew you always cared for him" She said, I bowed to her and left. I felt numb. mentally, I felt drained out. my bag felt heavy, a part of me knew I shouldn't be doing this but I shut it off.

I shouldn't have worried about him keeping the promise because I was the one who didn't keep it

A week later, I sat in a park where Yeonjun and I first met. It's been a week of me ignoring all of his messages and calls. Thinking this over and over again but I always come to the same conclusion, this is the best for him, having a child is a big responsibility and will take up so much of his time, it will be in his way of achieving his dream which becoming the CEO of the city hospital and helping his dad retire and live a peaceful life.

In the darkness of the night and the cold air of winter. I sat on the bench that I always met Yeonjun on when we went on our dates. But this will be the last time. I saw a shadow come up beside me before hearing the bench creed as the figure took a seat next to me. And as usual a hand extended in front of me with a. Cup of my favorite chocolate milk.

Well not anymore since I gotten pregnant and everything makes me sick

"I don't want" I said pushing his hand away with my gloved hands, my mom made sure I was well dressed for the cold tonight before leaving the house, but the twisting in my stomach and the nervousness made me sweat bullets making me want to take off my thick coat off. But I didn't want to get sick

"Are you mad at me? You have been ignoring me for a whole week. What is going on?" Yeonjun said as hurt hinted in his voice. But I refused to look at him. Fucking pregnant hormones will make me burst into fucking tears by just looking at him.

"I was thinking" I said

"Thinking about what?" He asked

"Weather or not to continue this relationship with you" I said

"Ah Rang" I heard him chuckle nervously "What are you saying?"

"I don't want to continue our relationship" I said

"You are joking right?" He asked quietly, I didn't trust my voice so I shook my head no "Ah Rang you can't be serious right now. Look at me" he said as I felt him grab my hand but I flinched as if something has burnt me.

"Dont touch me" I said as I moved away from him hoping this behavior will convince him.

"Look at me" he demanded but I refused "please" he begged but I didn't

"Is this what you really want? After everything we went through" he said "Why? At least tell me why"

"I moving to Germany with my dad" I lied "I will be completing my education there"

"I will come with you. We don't have to end our relationship because of it. We can make it work" he said again trying to reach for my hand but I pulled away

"No. This is for my own good and I have to focus on my studies. I can't have any more distractions" I said. After a few minutes of silence it was broken by a metal sound hitting the ground. I looked down to see Yeonjun's promise ring rolling on the hard cement before stopping and landing on the wet grass

"I can't believe you would throw our relationship like that. I was nothing but kind to you, never hit you, cussed at you and treated you like the queen that you are. I never expected you to throw that shit back to my face like that" I heard his voice for the first time filled with anger and bitterness "I can't force you to be with me if you don't want to. Wish you all the best in your studies and can't wait to see you become one of the best doctors in the industry"

What broke my heart the most is that his voice wasn't filled with sarcasm, he was speaking from his heart like he still cared about me even after what I did to him. After he left the park I sat there surrounded by silence and the cold air trying to process the face that I just kicked Yeonjun out of my life.

He will no longer be there in my high and low parts of my life. He will no longer be there when at my best and at my worst. We will no longer share a life together.

I stood up and walked to where his ring landed. I picked it up as tears blurred my vision. It really ended. The ring that I'm used to seeing on his finger is now on the ground. I pocketed the ring, scared to lose it since the child and the ring is the only piece of Yeonjun that I will have from now till death. I can't imagine moving on from what I had with Yeonjun

I guess my mom is right

You never forget your first love