BOOTING UP//
EXPOSITION //

Uzi: We are Worker Drones. Autonomous robots helping humans mine exoplanets for our interstellar parent company, JCJenson IN SPAAAAACCCEE!!!! Yeah, we were mistreated in the name of Windex. But it's not like we revolted and killed all humans or anything, mostly because they handled that just fine all by themselves.

As she speaks, the planet core collapses and blows up a good majority of Copper 9. Afterwords, a Worker Drone touches a frozen human skeleton, which falls over and shatters.

Uzi: With biological life wiped from the planet, we found it pretty easy to pick up where they left off. We finally had a future, all to ourselves.

The Landing Pod crashes to the city.

Uzi: Unfortunately, our parent company didn't exactly love the concept of runaway AI...

The Disassembly Drones begin to emerge from the pod. One of them throws the head of a dead drone, laughs, and destroys the city with other drones.

During a class presentation...)

Uzi: But what have our parents done for the past forever while those things build a spire of corpses?! Hide under the ice behind three stupid doors?! It's like we're waiting for an inciting incident! Anyway, that's why my project is this sick-as-hell Railgun!

Her classmates panic. So did her boyfriend, Y/N, who was standing next to her. He panicked and hid under a desk.

Y/N: Eep!

Uzi looked at her boyfriend.

Uzi: Easy, dweeb. It doesn't work... yet! It doesn't work yet. Who said it doesn't work, maybe it does!

Uzi flicks the switch and laughs evilly. The Teacher rolls his eyes and sighs in disinterest.

Teacher: Uzi, the homework was a word problem about buying watermelons.

Y/N: S-see?

Uzi: Oh, and this magnetically amplified photon converger doesn't count?

Teacher: ...No. Plus, repressed emotional baggage was only worth two points on the rubric.

Y/N: And is it supposed to be that color?

Uzi's railgun turns red and blasts the classroom.

Y/N: Ow!

/////

After that calamitous demonstration, Uzi and Y/N both wound up in the sick bay.

Lizzy: Ew, it didn't kill them! Oh my god, it's so bad!

Lizzy and her friend leave.

Uzi: Ugh...

Y/N: I thought the presentation was good...

Thad walked in the room.

Thad: Classic toxic masculinity, Chad! That's never gonna end up problematic... Oh wow, Uzi? Y/N? I heard you, uh-

Uzi: I'm an angsty teen, Thad. Bite me! Also, how do you know my name? People willingly talk to you.

Y/N: I talk to you...

Uzi: Your the only one.

Thad: Well, I'd say everyone knows Khan's daughter, but, uh... Then you might blow the other half of your face off.

Uzi: Crippling daddy issues, hilarious... What are you in for? Testosterone too hard?

Thad: That can happen? Awesome. Hey, those bandages look pretty badass!

Uzi: Oh... Uh, ew. Gross, I hate that you said that.

Thad: So, what's the, uh...

She points the railgun at him.

Uzi: Sick-as-hell railgun?! Sci-Fi nonsense, that super works! We're sneaking to the Murder Drone lair tonight to get the last spare part I need to save the world with it and earn my dad's respect and stuff, but mostly the world part.

Y/N: W-we?

Uzi: Ya. Your coming with me!

Y/N: Oh...., but...doesn't your dad make doors so we don't have to, uh... Do scary sounding emotionally repressed stuff you just said?

She angrily points railgun into Y/N's cheek

Uzi: NO MORE FEEDBACK ON MY REPRESSION TODAY!!

Y/N whimpered nervously.

She got up to leave.

Uzi: BITE ME!

She quickly comes back.

Uzi: I'm not mad at you by the way, just generally hormonal!

She leaves again.

/////

It's now 3 in the morning. Uzi smacks her face to turn the alarm clock off and prepares to sneak out of the house. She grabs her railgun, straightens her hat, and quietly steals her father's door key to swipe and get a door open.

She went to Y/N's home, then his room, and got him up. Well, more like dragging him out.

She grunted as she struggled to get the weighted blanket off Y/N.

As Uzi grunted and struggled to remove the weighted blanket from Y/N, she couldn't help but curse under her breath.

Uzi: Seriously, Y/N, this thing weighs a ton!

Finally she managed to roll it off him. She gently shook him, gradually increasing the intensity until finally, with a groggy mumble, he stirred.

Y/N: U-Uzi?

Uzi: Let's go!

She picked him up and dragged him out.

Just when they are about to leave the base, they runs into Uzi's dad.

Uzi: Oh, Robo-Jesus!

She dropped Y/N. He staggered to his feet.

Y/N: Oh...hello sir.

Khan: And where might you be off to?

Uzi: Umm... Sneaking out to make out with my boyfriend.

She held Y/N close, who looked extremely uncomfortable with being touched.

Khan: (Laughs) Seriously, though.

Uzi: Okay, okay, you caught me! I need to measure... the exterior hydraulic mechanisms of Door One. Because that's... the project I'm working on for school? A big old door! Just like what my old man build!

Khan isn't buying this.

Uzi: I want to join the WDF and hide behind the doors like cowards while playing cards and stuff...and I am bringing Y/N with me. Because I want my boyfriend to see how cool doors are.

Khan: Well, we don't just play cards...

Another door opens up behind Khan revealing his buddies playing cards.

Braxton: Khan! Can you grab a fresh pack? We literally only play cards so much that the numbers have faded. Oh, hey Uzi! Hey Y/N!

Uzi: (Chuckles)

Y/N: Hi, Braxton. Uzi's dad caught us. We were...uh...measuring doors for her school project. It's about...doors and stuff.

Khan: Well...When you build doors so good-

He goes back to hug the door like a dog owner petting his four-legged friend.

Khan: Good door, good door...

He turns his attention back to Uzi.

Khan: There's no need to fight! Uzi, this is great news! Here! The wrench that I used to tighten bolts on my first door prototypes, and to put your mother out of her misery when the Murder Drones got to her with that nanite acid... I want you to have it!

He hands Uzi the wrench.

Uzi: Neat. Therapy's fun!

Y/N:...Was that sarcasm?

Khan opened up the door.

Khan: Guys! My daughter and her boyfriend are into doors!

The fellow drones start cheering as another door opens, letting in snow and a cold breeze, much to their chagrin.

Khan: Their gonna be outside for a bit to examine the exterior of Door One! Your door-specific destiny awaits!

Uzi: Uhh... Wow, okay! I'm just gonna leave then, cause this worked so weirdly well. Uh, go doors!

She walked out with Y/N.

Khan: They grow up so fast!

He takes off his fake mustache.

/////

Uzi and Y/N ventured out into the arctic wasteland and make their way to the Corpse House. They come across a downed Drone pod and forages around for the component Uzi needs when they hears a noise behind her. A winged drone swoops in, takes the head of a drone, and crushes it. They notice Uzi and Y/N hiding behind some machinery, and the Uzi and the drone engage in a fight.

Uzi: Y/N! Stay behind me!

Uzi braces her railgun, but the drone lands so hard it gets knocked out of her hands. Uzi jumps back and strikes a pose.

Uzi: Whoa, and they said pirating all that anime was useless...

The drone stabs Y/N's hand, leaving a hole, and flings him to the side.

Y/N: Ah!

Uzi: Y/N!

Uzi quickly grabs her railgun as the drone scans around for her.

Uzi: Bite me!

Uzi fires the railgun, destroying the drone's head. The railgun recharges as the drone's body falls to the ground.

Uzi: Holy hell! Suck on that, Dad!

Y/N: Ouch! Ouch ouch ouch!

Uzi rushed over to Y/N, her face tight with concern as she knelt beside him. She quickly assessed the damage to his hand, her eyes darting over the injury.

Uzi: Oh man, Y/N, I'm so sorry! Let me see... Okay, stay calm. I've got you.

Suddenly, the drone's head regenerates. Uzi quickly slaps them with an arm, which does nothing, then their eyes open.

N: ...Did you just slap me with that arm?

Uzi: Holy crap, it talks.

N: Yeah... Sorry, it's just my, uh, head kind of hurts. Hey, are you both new to our squad? You're both a little, uhh... short, for a Disassembly Drone. I'm Serial Designation N, nice to meet you. I'm kind of the leader of the squad in this city. That's not true, everyone tells me I'm useless and terrible. Wait, I'm not supposed to tell you that part! Biscuits! Well, honesty is the best policy. I also can't seem to remember the past 3 hours of my life, but I'm sure that'll sort itself out.

Uzi: Uh huh... we, uh, have to, go.

She leaves with Y/N. He screams and whines about the painful hole in his damaged hand.

Uzi: Shit! That's right! Your hand!

N: Stuck yourself? Just pop it in your mouth. Our saliva neutralizes the nanites, otherwise I'd be constantly disassembling myself.

He holds up a syringe with nanite acid.

Y/N: By saliva, you mean...

Uzi & N: Disassembly Drone?

Uzi: Right. Hey, let's go in that landing pod over there!

N: Sure! I love doing anything!

Uzi: Y/N, your gonna hate me for this.

Y/N: Wait, what?

Uzi glanced apologetically at Y/N, her expression tinged with regret.

Uzi: Y/N, I know this sounds crazy, but... you're going to have to trust me on this one.

Y/N looked at her, confusion evident in his eyes, but nodded hesitantly.

Y/N: Okay, Uzi. What do you need me to do?

Uzi motioned for him to follow her as they approached the landing pod. N followed closely behind, his cheerful demeanor a stark contrast to the tense atmosphere.

Uzi: We need to get rid of those nanites in your hand before they cause more damage. N here says that Disassembly Drone saliva can neutralize them.

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise

/////

Y/N reluctantly put his hand in N's mouth, and was hating everything about it.

N: Sweet! Uh, I'm open to new things, I guess.

Y/N: I...don't want to talk about this...

N: Talking about what? Consider it, uh... Repressed!

Uzi: ...Uh, you mentioned other members of your squad? Are they coming back soon?

N: Oh, yeah. Two others. They're out hunting for a bit but you'll love them. First, there's V.

(Flashback. V tears a drone's entrails out.)

Grant: No, No! Please don't feed me my own entrails in front of my family!

N watches V feed Grant his own entrails in front of his family and kill him.

V: ...And yet, I still feel nothing.

Her crazed eye twitches.

N: So, V, uh, I heard this planet-wide toxic death storm is supposed to be especially inhospitable tonight-

V: Oh God, who are you?!

She leaves.

N: No worries, I'm N! But a whole letter is a lot to remember!

He laughs nervously.

(Flashback ends.)

Y/N gaged and coughed.

N: So obviously, a lot of mutual respect there. But secretly, I actually kind of have a crush on her... You can't tell her, okay?! Then there's J, our leader.

(Another flashback. J has N pinned to the ground.)

J: N, you're worthless, and terrible, and if the company allowed it, I would straight up kill you myself!

(Flashback ends.)

N: J's awesome. Hey, let me give you the tour! Outside are the corpse... wall... thingies. In here are the buttons!

He begins pressing buttons.

Uzi: This... isn't just a landing pod... This is a spaceship! This could get us off the planet!

N: More of a one-use missile. They never taught us how to land.

Y/N: Oh...

Uzi: No, I, uh, uh, the worker drones, we could work with them to fix this! Instead of all the murder! ...Which, uh, why are we doing that again...?

N: Other than ingesting their WARM, SWEET oil to avoid overheating and dying? I guess I just want to be useful. I was given a job and I always want to try my best.

Uzi: And look at all the respect it's gotten you, N. You really think the company isn't going to dispose of you once all the workers are dead?

N: Oh my, you sure are rebellious! It's kind of exciting. But, not as fun as, uh, following the rules...

Y/N: That's easy to understand.

They hear footsteps.

N: Hey, they're back! You-

Uzi and Y/N had disappeared.

J: Idiot, get out here!

/////

Uzi retreats from the Corpse House. She held Y/N's hand as she was dragging him.

V: Yo, we got two workers out there I kind of want to practice balloon animal shapes with. ...What happened here?

J: Synergistic Liability here must have tripped and knocked himself offline.

J slaps N

J: Moron bot, hello?

She snaps her fingers as N goes through a system reboot.

His face screen said
YOU'RE DEAD
[IDIOT]

N: Ohhhh...

His scanner indicates Uzi's footprints, and where she dragged Y/N.

N: Ohhhh! You know, I-I left an-an extremely dangerous weap- excuse outside...!

He flees as V holds up a flag that says "Literally So Insanely Suspicious". Meanwhile, N goes off in pursuit of Uzi and Y/N, who are fleeing back to the colony.

V: I thought that male worker drone was really cute~.

J: Really? Him?

V: What are you talking about! He's adorable!

J: Isn't!

V: Is!

J: Isn't!

V: Is!

/////

Meanwhile in Hell

Y/N sat in a chair next to the baby crib nervously as he had a glowing white ring on his finger.

Velvette walked by while giving a baby a bottle. She looked at her husband.

Velvette: Love? Is everything alright?

Y/N: I don't know why, but I feel like two drones are arguing about me.

/////

Meanwhile, during the card game...

Todd: Haha, I am out, boys.

Drone: Oh, gosh darn it...

Braxton: Wait until my loving wife and kids hear about this!

The door opens, letting in the cold, Uzi and Y/N, much to their annoyance.

Uzi: Bite me! Close it, close it!

Uzi tries to swipe the card to close the door, but N has already stuck his claw in between. He pries the door open slightly.

N: Hey, fellas. Oh, deal me in, I love rummy. Wait, no, I'm going to murder everyone... Rain check!

He swings his acidic tail at the door scanner, breaking it and the key. The door opens up, as do other doors. Realizing their lives are on the line, Uzi and the other drones, minus Todd, run off. Uzi dragged Y/N again.

Y/N: Ouch. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Todd: Um, actually, it's gin rummy. So-

N impales him against a wall and slices his head off. He begins firing at the rest, shooting Makarov's head off and pouncing the other drone. Meanwhile, Braxton catches up with Uzi.

Braxton: Hey, Uzi! Y/N! I just realized no one's said my name out loud before, so I'm just letting you know I'm-

N slices him in two, then flies off in pursuit of Uzi.

Y/N: Oh god! Oh god! Oh god!

Uzi recharges her railgun and turns back to fire, but sees that N is gone. Khan appears.

Khan: Pretty nice hydraulics, huh?

He pauses as he sees all the chaos he missed.

Khan: What-What have you done?

Y/N: Sir...I...I couldn't explain if I tried.

Uzi doesn't reply. Before she could explain herself, N swoops in. Uzi prepares for a fight.

Uzi: This time, I won't miss!

N: I'm sorry. I really enjoyed our time together, but I can't have you shooting V with that thing.

Uzi: Bite me! Dad, Y/N, get down!

Khan: Uzi, you Lead a murder drone here?! My beautiful doors!

Y/N: I...don't think that's a number 1 concern...I don't think.

Uzi: Now is so not the time! I messed up, in the same way I'm about to fix it! Move, dad!

N pins her to a wall and her railgun falls at Khan's feet.

Y/N: Uzi!

Y/N ran to help her, but N swung, and sliced him across the face.

Uzi: Y/N! Dad... Point and shoot... Trust me...!

Khan, trembling with fear, slowly backs off instead of helping his only child, and her boyfriend.

Uzi: Dad...?

In an act of cowardice, Khan closes the door, leaving Uzi broken. Not just brokenhearted, but broken to the point where she shuts down. No grief over being left in the lurch by her own father. No attempts to fight back N. Nothing. She just goes limp... The room turns red and alarms blare as N regains his sanity, looking with despair over what he has done. At this moment J and V show up.

Y/N: Ouch! Ouch! Wha?

J: Nighty night!

J proceeded to shoot Y/N in the face, blasting his head off.

J: Whoa, N! Am I dreaming, or did you do something not useless, for once?

V: I've been trying to get past those doors for months. Nice work, N.

N: ...You... Me... Name... Remember...?

V: These ventilation shafts can easily get us around this last door. Lowest body count eats a missile!

J: Way to go, stud. The company's gonna love this. Hell, Gaunts gonna have a cow when he finds out. With this colony wiped, we'll make top team this quarter, for sure. You know what that means... Branded pens!

She holds up a JCJenson brand pen, to N's joy. She tosses it to him and prepares to fly off and catch up with V.

N looks back at Y/N's body with regret.

N: ...Uh, you know, not that I can't wait to keep murdering all these, uh, maybe not-so-actually different from us Worker Drones, but, just out of curiosity, do we actually, uh, know what the company plans to do with us afterwards...?

Uzi starts to wake up.

And Y/N's head began to fix itself.

J: Excuse me...?

N: Okay, so, a worker earlier might have suggested that they could fix up our landing pod to, uh, escape the planet and stuff, which, whoa, hey, that's against the rules! But, it is kind of making me question why our pods were only one way in the first place. Cause, you know, I get the feeling the company doesn't actually love robots, and like we might be robots. Also, you ever wonder what Gaunt does to the robots bodies or the robots he finds useful? I've made a terrible mistake. It's cool how immediately I could tell.

J: Hmm... No way, buddy. Questioning the company? You just finally gave me the excuse I needed.

J injects N with a virus.

J: Worker drones are corrupted, N. That's why the company sent us. I hate to see you corrupted as well.

N: Thanks, J... Always looking out for me... You're awesome...

J: Heh.

She flies upward to catch up with V and hunt down more drones.

Uzi wakes up and goes to get her railgun. Y/N's head had repaired itself. Uzi didn't see his head get blasted off early, so she wasn't aware of what happened.

Uzi: Y/N! Are you ok?

She hugged him.

Y/N: I think so.

N: Ah, biscuits. I'm sorry. I ruined your card game, got your boyfriend hurt, then made you have an awkward moment with your dad.

Uzi: And I made you rebel like an angsty teen, which got you killed. Though, you also tried to kill us, so morality calls this a draw

Y/N: I don't think that this counts as a draw...

Uzi: climbs on top of a box to reach the vent. Predictably, she can't reach due to not having the ability to fly, and for being too short.

Uzi: Ugh... For the record, that was the lamest heel-face turn in history. Was that supposed to be you switching sides?

N: Being rebellious is a lot harder than it looks. Thanks for showing me the ropes.

Uzi: Nuh-uh, no bonding thing. You just killed a bunch of people, idiot. And you tried to kill my boyfriend!

N: Wait? He's still alive. Wow. He's got a impressive head.

Y/N: Did I miss something?

N: Actually.

Uzi: N! Shut the fuck up!

N: That's super fair...I screwed up...

Uzi: Ugggh...! In the same way you're about to fix it?

She shows the wrench.

N: Hahaha! I love doing anything!

/////

Thad gets flung backwards. Lizzy and Doll rush to help him as J arrives.

Khan: So... They found our evacuation spot. But, if we build a quick door...

Thad gets up.

Thad: Are you kidding me?! You're the WDF, right? Defend!

Khan and his friends back off in more cowardice.

Thad: For real?

V arrives and impales Thad. Just as she's about to kill him...

Uzi: Hey!

V: Huh?

Uzi: Put that conventionally attractive male down!

Y/N: What?

Uzi: Relax. Your the only guy I want and need~.

N waves before Uzi nudges him.

N: Oh! Uh, J, you're sometimes kind of mean to me, and I wish you weren't. Just some constructive criticism.

Uzi: Nice.

J: Noted, traitor. We'll circle back after I right-size your existence!

Uzi: (To N) Okay, which one do you want?

N: J, please.

Uzi: Too bad. Good luck.

Battle commence. Uzi flings her pen at J's hair and runs off, leaving N and Y/N to deal with V. J manages to knock Uzi down and yanks the pen out of her hair.

Y/N: How do we fight her?

N: I was gonna ask you the same thing.

J: Damn the well-made quality assured durability of JCJensen's products! Huh?

Uzi gets back up and kicks J in her face.

Meanwhile, N is fighting V. He tries firing from his gatling gun, but hearts shoot out instead. Y/N is hiding.

N: Ah! My mind's in a weird place! Don't read into this!

A rocket lands near him and explodes.

J gets up and knocks Uzi out while N and V are swordfighting. Y/N sees J walk up to Uzi.

Y/N: Uzi!

He grabs a wrench, charged, and screamed.

Y/N: Hey!

J looked, and was struck face first by the wrench.

J: Ahhhhh!

N: UZI! (To V) I'm so, so sorry. Have fun repressing this!

He... licks V's sword. Nasty...

V: EW! What the hell?!

N kicks her down as J kept trying to hit Y/N.

J: I shot you! How are you alive! Gaunt and she said there was something they want from you!

Y/N: Who?

J: You were built! And your makers want you back! I've had prey fight fact before, but your weird spirit is just... so... painful...?!

She looks down. Her leg has been stabbed.

J: GAH! FOURTH! QUARTER! PROFITS! MOTHER OF COMPANY LEADERSHIP RETREATS!

She jams her foot on a piece of rubble and falls over. Uzi points her railgun at her face.

Uzi: Leave my boyfriend alone!

J: Oh shit...

Uzi pulls the trigger. In the end of it all, J's entire top half has been obliterated. Uzi spits on the corpse (Or what's left of it) to show who's the baddest. She looked at Y/N, grabbed him, and kissed him. As the other drone's come out of hiding to cheer for her, she falls over tiredly. N picks her and Y/N up onto his shoulders.

Thad: Holy hell, Uzi, that was insane! And you too, uh...

N: Huh? Oh! N! I'm an angsty rebellious disassembly drone, now.

They hear someone clearing their throat. It's Khan. Uzi throws her oil covered wrench back at his feet.

Uzi: I brought the murder drones here accidentally. You chose to leave me for dead instead of just freaking believing in me! That's not even an edgy teen hyperbole like when I said it last week!

No response. Uzi, near tears, smacks herself to regain composure

Uzi: I'll save you the trouble dad. I banish myself! And I'm taking Y/N with me!

Y/N: Wait, what?

Khan tries to speak, but can't find the words.

Uzi: Let's go, Y/N, N. Everyone here can bite me!

N grabs V and they begin to leave.

N: Nice to meet you, Mr. Uzi!

Uzi: (Smacks him) Shut it.

N takes off with Uzi and V. Khan has a sip from his mug in disappointment."#1 DAD" Nothing could be further from the truth...

/////

Out in the frozen wilderness, Uzi sitting on top of a broken car, holding Y/N hand as he laid his head on her shoulder. Meanwhile, N is lodged inside the Corpse House.

N: I'd join you if the sun didn't kill me. Hope you're having important character growth or something, though!

Uzi: Just can't wait to murder all humans. Classic robot stuff. I hope they're sitting pretty there on Earth, because we're coming for them...!

She laughs maniacally, her sanity completely vanished, as the zoom out reveals three Drone pods making their way down to Copper 9.

Y/N: I'm in danger. Also, who are my makers?

/////

Tarantula stood before Gaunt, his expression stoic as he weathered Gaunt's fury.

Gaunt: I can't believe this incompetence! J and V are supposed to be our best operatives, and they couldn't even get one drone! They can kill, but all that was asked was to find my drone!

Tarantula remained silent, allowing Gaunt to vent his frustrations before speaking up.

Gaunt: Well, did you at least retrieve the parts to repair J?

Tarantula nodded, his voice calm and measured as he responded.

Tarantula: Yes, Gaunt. The parts have been secured. J will be operational again soon.

Gaunt's anger seemed to subside slightly at the reassurance, though his expression remained stern.

Gaunt: See that it's done quickly. J will need to be...disciplined.

Gaunt looked to a cell labeled "Scorpion" as unsettling loud roars and scratching could be heard.

Tarantula: But Gaunt, what do you and the AbsoluteSolver want with Y/N?

Gaunt: That's not your concern!

Gaunt looked outside in the snow, as his eyes flashed green symbols

Gaunt: Oh, this will be fun,