XL

"Stand down, drop these weapons now

We're walking in this lie, walking in this lie

You know I try, try to compromise

We're walking in this high, walking in this high

We are pushed back and down

I'm out of my mind otherwise

We are pushed and fallen down

Into this ground and space"

"Cloud" -Elias

Jenner woke from the simulation like everyone else, gun in hand, with wide, terrified eyes looking right back at him. His eyes sunk to the gun in his hands, the smell of blood and smoke making him feel sick. For years, he had been working security for Erudite, and now he knew that he had been protecting people who caused this. Many times he was close to Jeanine, able to kill her where she stood, but he had not known of any of this. Near the end of his time in Erudite, when he got the serum, he began to suspect that something was happening, but could not confirm it in time. With his mind spinning and his stomach ready to reveal what he had for dinner last night, he put the gun behind his back with the strap around his chest, and began helping people. Glancing around at the other Dauntless, they all were doing the same thing.

"Find Four." Someone began to mutter. "Find Four."

"Are you okay?" Jenner knew that he had to help as many people as he could, and many of the Dauntless were capable of coming back from what they had just done under the serum, but this young woman looked like she was about to snap. She was small, with a petite frame, though muscular definition showed even with her jacket on. Her soft red hair was pulled back, and she looked up at Jenner without recognizing him. She had never met him.

But any friendly face was welcome.

"I... no." She looked at her hands, "Harper... I... She's... I need to find someone."

"You know Harper?" Jenner asked, straightening up and walking right up to the woman. "What's your name?"

"Mina," she replied. "Harper told me... Find Four... Tobias."

"Do you know what way she went?" Jenner asked.

She shook her head. "No, I... I'm sorry."

Jenner took a deep breath, Harper was strong, she was smart, and she would be okay. He knew that his best way of helping Harper, was helping the people she cared about. That started with Mina, and if Harper thought Tobias was the best person to go to, they had to find him as well. He helped Mina gather everyone up, each of them thought the best place to go was Amity, and Mina agreed. It was her old faction, and they were the faction of kindness. If any faction was not a part of the Erudite plan, it would be Amity, and they had to find somewhere to go.

***

Carson said little when she woke, and was quick to kill off a few of the people who still posed a threat to the Dauntless, the Divergents, and the Abnegation. Many of the younger Dauntless were breaking under the pressure, but Carson had been through so much in her life, that this hardly fazed her. Perhaps having been well-informed that something like this was going to happen made it less frightening to know that she had been under the control of Jeanine, and had killed for Jeanine. But crying about it now and breaking down wouldn't solve anything, killing Jeanine and everyone else involved would. 

How she would kill to put a bullet in Eric's head.

When she had gotten a group of people out safely, telling the Dauntless to use their weapons to protect the Abnegation and each other, she began to search for Harper. As she walked through the buildings, so bland and simple that she nearly got lost twice, she spotted someone she hadn't expected to be under the serum. It was Xander, and he was cradling a dead child in his arms. There was no one else around him, and Carson knew that he had killed that child, and it was going to haunt him for the rest of his life. She dipped her head and looked at the dirt on her shoes, mixed with the blood. Perhaps if she had killed a child, she would have responded differently than she was, but she had only killed adults as far as she knew. Xander wasn't crying, but his head was pressed to the child's forehead.

Carson felt guilty for doubting Xander's moral code; she had thought him to be on Eric's side of this, the side that killed. But seeing the way he held that dead child in his arms, the way his shoulders were dropped so low, she realized just how wrong she had been. Once upon a time they had been a couple, and she had loved him so much. But his attitude, the way he reacted to things, they butted heads too much for her to stay with him, and that had led her to believe he was not a good person. But just because they couldn't be together for differences, did not mean that they were on different sides. She knelt down behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her forehead against his strong back.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"How can I possess such... evil?"

"You did not do this," she said, still holding onto him. "We need to go."

Xander laid the child on the ground, and looked down at her. She had soft blue eyes, and pale brown hair. She had a simple face, but would have become a beautiful woman. Though she was dead, she had the look of hope on her face, and Carson had to look away. She slid her hand into Xander's and pulled him away from the scene. Looking at something like that for too long could break even the strongest of people. Xander never looked back, but his head hung low, and his shoulders were dropped. He would never fully recover from what he had done, but he knew that Carson would help him through this, and regretted the day he ever let her slip from his grasp.

***

Tobias held Tris. They had both seen too much bloodshed today, Tris has seen both of her parents killed to save her, and to save her brother. Caleb, Tris's brother was there with them on the train, taking them outside of the factions behind the walls of the fence, and towards Amity. It seemed like the only option right then, they needed some kindness, some strong hands to lift them up and try to help. Nothing could repair anyone from what had happened, but Tobias had Tris and she had him; for now, that was all she needed. She had killed someone today, someone she was friends with, because she had to. It felt as though the world was crumbling around them, and that nothing was what it was supposed to be. The whole world was changing.

Tobias never found Harper in Abnegation, too many things had gotten in his way, but before they left, he checked the monitors that had images of Abnegation on them. She was there, and she was in trouble. When he had spotted her, he could almost feel her rage and anger coming through the screen, miles away in another faction. There was nothing he could do, but he knew that her connection with Eric was going to make her do something stupid. Before they left, he saw that she was standing with a gun pointed at Eric. He watched it all happen, and it made him hold Tris a little tighter on the train that was bringing them to Amity.

***

The sound of the gunfire made Eric drop his weapon, his ears rang violently and he felt as though they might bleed, but not from the sound of the gun. The sound of his own shouting is what deafened him; the vision in front of him was not a dream or a nightmare, but the cold hard truth. Harper's arms jerked when the bullet hit her body, forcing her to drop the handgun. It fell to the dirt and rose a small cloud of dust, but Eric didn't notice that, he simply saw the look in Harper's eyes. She looked down at her chest where that dark red blood began to form even under her black shirt. When her eyes moved to Eric, as if to blame him for shooting her, Eric broke.

"HARPER!" He rushed over to her, catching her body as she fell. His knees slammed against the dirt and rocks but he didn't feel it, even the pain in his foot subsided as he held her, bringing her up against the tops of his thighs to look down at her face that was losing colour. "No, no, no, no..."

Standing over them was Max, the man who pulled the trigger. He finally got the chance to shoot her, with good reason, and now he could watch her die, as well as watch Eric's final tie to human nature snap. His orders from Jeanine. She was a cold hearted bitch, but she did what needed to be done, Max knew that all too well. It was time Eric learned his place on the food chain. Thinking he was on top of the world, when in reality, he had just been a dog on a leash obeying orders his whole damn life. Max saw him for what he was, and now he would witness him change into what he was always supposed to be.

"Hey, hey, stay with me, Harper, stay with me," Eric begged.

Harper was cooling down, her eyes looking dull. Her pink lips moved for a bit, before sound made it's way out. "You can s-stop this..."

Eric shook his head rapidly. "Don't talk. Don't talk."

"You let this happen." She wanted to make him feel bad, she wanted him to stop this, she had to use what she had left, what little life and time she had, to make him change his ways. For Tobias, for Carson, for Eliza, for her father. "I always kn-knew that you'd kill me."

"No, I didn't... M-Max."

"What's the difference?" She coughed violently and blood came up from her mouth, spilling on her lips. Eric brushed her matted brown hair out of her face, wiped the blood away, as if it would make her forgive him. She was so beautiful. Everything that was beautiful would die because of Eric. 

"Harper," he closed his eyes, "I love you. That's the difference."

There was still a ringing in his ears. When he opened his eyes, he knew that Harper was dead. Her heartbeat ceased, no more blood pumped through her veins. She would never joke with him, she would never touch him with her soft hands, she would never make him run for his money and challenge him ever again. All he had wanted was to get her out of this alive, even if it meant he would never see her again, and he hadn't been able to accomplish that. He knew that he should have killed Max for what he did, but this was a defining moment in his life. If he reacted the way he wanted to, he too would be killed or worse. If he did want he had to, though, he would never feel anything ever again. Lying Harper's body on the ground, he stood up and felt that pain in his foot throb and shock him.

Eric left something with Harper that day when he slipped out of Abnegation.

***

Carson and Xander came out into a clearing, where all the buildings seemed to end and there was nothing but the train tracks ahead of them. Bodies littered the field, and Carson recognized some, though not others. Xander was still silent, he hadn't spoken a word since Carson found him. She didn't know that she could feel what he felt until she saw Harper. Her heart jerked to a halt and she stopped moving, Xander took a few more steps until he felt her hand tug against his. Looking back at the black-haired woman, he turned to see what she was looking at and spotted Harper. He hadn't known her well, but he knew that Carson had seen her as a daughter or a sister.

"Not her," Carson cried. "She was... She was supposed to be the one."

"Be the one to what?"

"To make it through."

Carson leaned down and closed Harper's eyes, and then kissed her forehead.

Harper's body was just one of the many that stained Abnegation; left behind like all the others.