I was shaking as I swam out of my suite and headed to the infirmary. I tried my hardest to appear calm on the outside, but on the inside my heart was beating a panicked frenzy. What if he really did blame me for what happened? I didn't know if I could bear it.

Tears blurred my vision as I approached the infirmary doors. I hurriedly blinked them away as I swam inside, my calm façade quickly cracking. My heart was pounding, fear nearly choking me. A mermaid I vaguely recognized from the last time I'd been here—Coco was her name—swam up to me, a concerned expression on her face.

Her eyes softened as they scanned my face. "Your Highness. Do you remember me?" The kindness in her voice nearly broke me.

I nodded, swallowing hard. "I—I'm here to see Jonah Maxwell." My voice wavered slightly, but did not break.

She nodded, gesturing for me to follow her. "If your brother had waited to bring him in..." My heart jumped into my throat as she trailed off. "It could have been much worse. As I'm sure you already know, the dagger went clean through his shoulder blade, barely missing one of his lungs. Luckily, we were able to remove the dagger, but he has a long road of healing ahead of him."

We reached his room a few minutes later and I sucked in a breath. It wasn't until I raised a hand to knock that I realized I was shaking. I took another deep, steadying breath and knocked. When I opened the door, my heart slammed to a halt.

Jonah's eyes were closed, but he opened them at the sound of the door. He was shirtless, a large bandage stretching from the top of his shoulder around his shoulder blade. "Faye." His voice was rough and hoarse as he spoke.

When he made to push himself up to a sitting position, I was moving before I even registered the hint of pain passing across his face. I quickly shook my head as I moved in front of him, tears filling my eyes and spilling down my cheeks. "You could have been—" I abruptly stopped as he put a finger against my lips. His eyes were clear, no hint of pain or exhaustion in them.

He took my hand, eyes never leaving my face. "You have no reason to blame yourself. You did nothing wrong." At his words, I started sobbing again.

He didn't understand. No one did. Because I did blame myself. I blamed myself for everything—not reacting fast enough, not anticipating the attack, not being able to defend him.

Every single time I closed my eyes, I saw those images from my nightmare, over and over—the expressions on the guards' faces when they looked at me, Jonah limp and lifeless in the first guard's arms. I remembered the sound of his breathing, wet and raspy. Saw myself lean down and put my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat once, twice, before finally faltering.

I was almost hysterical now, face tear-streaked and pale. Concern surfaced in his eyes as he opened his mouth. "Faye?"

The word hadn't even finished echoing before I was moving, swimming out of his room and speeding down the hallway. Ignoring the curious and concerned glances being thrown my way, I kept going. I finally faltered as I approached the exit of the infirmary. Backed up against a wall and wrapped my arms around myself.

Everything—the shame, guilt, anger, depression—came flooding out in a torrent of tears. My chest was heaving, every breath like a dagger slicing through me. I'm not sure how long I stayed there, but when I finally lifted my head—finally ran out of tears—a blurry figure floated in front of me.

I blinked a few times before my vision finally cleared. "Faye? Honey, can you hear me?" Mom's voice filled my ears, broke through the haze that had settled over me.

"Mom?" I heard my voice, but it didn't register in my head. I knew that if I could have looked at myself, I would have seen blank eyes staring back at me.

Whatever Mom saw in my eyes had her own filling with concern. She gently took my hand and pulled me off the ground. "It's okay, honey. He's going to be okay. You did everything right."

I couldn't find it in myself to feel even a shred of relief. I was once again trapped in a black hole of depression and numbness—didn't even try to fight it this time. Only when she wrapped her arm around me did I realize I was trembling.

I couldn't stop hearing that voice in the very back of my head, having once again reared its ugly head. Who are you kidding? You're nothing but a murderer. Just like your aunts. You're worthless. No wonder your family hates you.

I felt like I was drowning in a sea of despair and hopelessness. Jonah's limp body flashed before my eyes, drawing a sob from my throat. That image slowly bled into reality, blending in so seamlessly that I began to believe it.

My depression merged with the voice, telling me that I'd killed him, that I was the reason for his death. That if only I'd reacted faster, he would still be alive.

I heard his heartbeat, weak and stuttering. It beat once, twice, before finally faltering. "No!" I shouted, tears blurring my vision. "Please!" My own heart was beating a panicked frenzy.

I dimly felt hands on me, heard a faraway voice. "Faye? Listen to my voice. You are safe. It's okay, honey. Open your eyes. I'm right here, sweetie."

I tried to take a deep breath, but it felt like an anchor was sitting on my chest. When I finally cracked my eyes open, Mom's worried face stared back at me. She brushed a lock of hair off my sweaty face and I couldn't help but flinch.

My voice was hollow as I spoke. "Who am I kidding? I'm worthless. No wonder my family hates me."

Even as the words left my mouth, I didn't try to take them back. I did the one thing I'd sworn I would never do—I gave in to the voice inside my head. The voice that said even though I'd saved him—even though I'd done everything I possibly could have—I may as well have let him die.

I was staring at nothing, my eyes blank, arms wrapped around myself. When I felt hands on me a second time, I didn't even flinch. Didn't so much as acknowledge their presence. I didn't struggle as I was led out of the infirmary into the open water.

Someone was speaking to me, but I barely heard the words. I felt detached from myself—like I was having an out-of-body experience. I saw myself leaving the infirmary, surrounded by my family. Saw my blank expression, the hollowness of my eyes. Drew's face was pale as he gripped my hand and kept shooting worried glances at me.

Muffled, worried voices filled my ears. Drew, Mom, Dad. I wasn't sure if they knew that I could hear them, but they spoke quietly, hurriedly.

"Is she hurt? What happened at the infirmary?" I'd never heard such worry and concern in Dad's voice.

Mom shook her head, face pale as she glanced over at me. "I'm not sure. I found her near the exit of the infirmary, pale and shaking. I went back a few minutes ago and spoke to Jonah—the merman who she was visiting. He said that when she came in to see him, she couldn't stop blaming herself. He tried to get through to her—explain that she had absolutely nothing to be sorry for."

I'd never heard Mom sound so... shaken. Her hands were clenched into fists at her sides; she was tearful as she spoke. "From what I could glean from Jonah, she was the one who saved him. Drew told me that he was the one who'd originally brought him to the hospital, but when Faye heard that he was awake—that he was asking for her—she came back with him."

She covered her mouth in an attempt to stifle the sob that was dangerously close to slipping past her lips. Dad swam to her side, placing a gentle arm around her shoulder. Drew swam up to her, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

Her chest hitched as she took a shaky breath. "Drew ran into a mermaid whom he remembered from when he'd brought him in. She told him that if he would have waited to bring him in that it could have been much worse. Apparently, the dagger went clean through his shoulder blade, barely missing one of his lungs."

The aforementioned sob finally slipped past her lips. She crumpled, my heart breaking clean in half. I was sure that I had to be sobbing, but I didn't feel anything.

"They were able to remove the dagger, but he has a long road of healing ahead of him. That's when Jonah said she came into his room. She immediately burst into tears upon seeing the bandage stretching from the top of his shoulder around his shoulder blade. He said that she blames herself—would not listen when he told her otherwise. Jonah immediately tried to reassure her, but she wasn't listening. That's when she abruptly sped out of his room—it's when I found her."

Mom glanced over at me, but I didn't so much as flinch. "Oh, David. I've never seen her like this. She's suffering so much, but I don't know how to help her."

Exhaustion had started to creep up on me, slowly wrapping me in its embrace. All I wanted was to be swallowed up by that overwhelming, blissful darkness. I caught the tail end of their conversation—Dad's voice, filled with concern and worry. "The only way we can—be there for her when and if she feels comfortable talking about it."

Read and review!