I knew he was a devout Christian. Well, everybody knew Taiju Shiba was. He was often seen in the almost empty pews of the church in Shibuya. There he could be seen praying alone in silence.

The two of us walked from the bar to the church. The streets were alive, tourists were here and there, buying things, laughing, or just strolling all around. For some reason, being with Shiba-san brought me warmth. I looked at the man and noted that he wasn't smiling.

It's alright.

At least he was following her.

When we entered the church, no other soul was there. I lit up a candle in one corner, took a deep breath, and sang: "Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see." It was in perfect pitch, me being a good singer. Shiba-san gaped as he looked at me, mesmerized. I sang a bit more and then told him, "I joined the choir when I was younger." The candles before us flickered and danced with the night breeze. I took a deep breath. "I-I want to tell you my story..." At first, I hesitated, and then my feelings took over. With him opening up to me, I wanted to open up to him too. I must still be so drunk. I began to say, "My mom was raped when she was just fifteen. That's how she had me. She felt filthy and after I was born, she couldn't even look at me. She left me with her parents and never once went back to see me again. Hoping to cleanse her soul, she entered the convent and became a nun." Telling this, I thought I would break down and cry. It always hurt thinking about my mom, but, surprisingly, I almost felt nothing. I felt detached as my eyes remained dry. Was this acceptance and moving on? Finally? Shiba-san continued watching me.

I walked toward one of the benches in the front and he followed. I continued, "What a hypocrite, right? Running towards God while leaving her only daughter. I saw her in the pictures my grandparents had but I first saw her in person here. She was sitting right here with the other nuns. My heart leaped at the sight of her. Right after the mass, I asked the choirmaster if I could join the choir. I wanted to see my mother as many times as I could. My singing became better and I was able to sing during masses, able to see my mom every time. One day, I approached her and said who I was. All she told me was: 'I do not know you. Please leave me alone.' My heart shattered and for the first time, I hated her. I didn't approach her again after that.

"I entered a modeling agency since it was my dream since I was very little. I swore I'd never let anyone abuse me like how someone else abused my mom. I will never be like her." I puffed out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Next was the hardest part to tell. "But I became worse. I let the men in the company abuse me. In exchange for a bit of stardom. They fondled me, kissed me with so much lust, and fucked me. I kept telling myself that I was different from my mom. That she was a victim, but me? I was just using sex to keep my job." Another deep breath. "But deep inside I knew I was lying to myself. I was being abused and I didn't like it." I showed Shiba-san my nape. It had bruises on it. "Got this tonight. One of the bosses was a sadist. Wanted to hurt me while we had sex. He didn't want to put on a condom. I got angry and he almost slapped me. I walked out and ran away from him. He threatened to fire me. I guess he already did. It didn't matter, with my age, my career's ending anyway."

Why was I telling Shiba-san this part of my life? True, I wanted to open up to him too but wasn't this too much? How would he look at me now? I was nothing but a whore. Feeling bold, I stared into his eyes. They looked cold but warm. So warm that it made me gasp. And, then, I felt it again, something about his aura. Something telling me that I could trust him and bare my heart to him.

Fate?

Bullshit.

But... "I'm sorry. I'm not usually like this," I apologized. I must be wasting his precious time with my nonsense. "I just want to say, sometimes we make fucked up decisions but we try to stand up and just deal with it. Was my mother a bad person? Maybe yes. But I cannot do anything about that now. Was I a fucking whore? Maybe. I can't even say I don't care. It still makes me feel like shit. The thing is, sometimes we make fucked up decisions and sometimes it's too late to make them right, but we suck it up, and move forward." I hate being a know-it-all but somehow those words just flew from my mouth. I bit my lips. "Again, sorry. I'm not saying I'm the better person. J-just forget it. I'm just drunk. Must be the alcohol talking."

He said nothing. And, in the silence, his head lowered until his lips touched mine.

Fuck.

He felt like heaven.

His lips parted and we deepened the kiss. My heart beat like a wildly beating drum. My arms snaked his wide shoulders as I pulled him close. His hand encircled my waist and I suddenly remember the times when my bosses in the agency fucked me. I gasped and pushed Shiba-san away. No. Not this fast. I knew he wasn't like them but the trauma was winning over me.

"T-this is really weird. And we're in a church. I-I'm going to get some money and pay you for the drinks. Sorry, I have to go." What the heck was happening to me? As I exited the church and got away from the man, my soul felt torn. I wanted to be with him, talk to him some more, and maybe... I shook my head. Guess I needed to cool my head and head back home.

I didn't want Taiju Shiba to be just a one-night stand.

***

What was with this stranger?

It was the first time Taiju was so magnetized to someone. From the moment he first laid his eyes on her, a warm feeling sizzled inside him. He was thinking of locking her inside a room and fucking her senseless until the morning but people from his past interfered. In the church, while praying for Hakkai, he saw Hanagaki and a police officer. And then Toman went inside his bar to kill him. What a joke. Of course, he all beat them up into a pulp. But his wounds were reopened. He missed his siblings and questioned his ways again.

He ended up opening up to this stranger. Beautiful, with long blond-dyed hair and the body of a model. For some unknown reason, he spilled all his deepest thoughts to her. He must be too drunk... and too attracted to her.

Then she asked him to take her to the church. He agreed because he didn't have anything scheduled tonight anyway. There she told him her story. And, as if a miracle, he was touched. He was never a soft person, but something about this stranger tugged at his heartstrings.

"The thing is, sometimes we make fucked up decisions and sometimes it's too late to make them right, but we suck it up and move forward," she'd said and those are the fucking words he wanted to hear right now.

The woman looked so lost after her monologue. So warm and precious that he couldn't help himself from inching closer and claiming her luscious lips. Instantly, he felt more than captivated.

He felt safe.

And suddenly whole.

He didn't even know something inside him was missing until he found her in his arms.

But once they deepened the kiss, the woman pulled away and exited the church, leaving him with the lighted candles. Taiju harshly wiped his face with his strong hand. Fuck. He wanted her. So fucking much. Not just for sex, but maybe even for something more. Fuck. Was this even possible? The beastly Taiju Shiba was finally looking for a mate? Abandoning logic, he ran after her.

She had stopped under a streetlight, taking off her heels. Her feet must be hurting. The streetlight cast a ray of light upon the stranger like she was being showered with light from heaven itself. Was it God's sign to Taiju? That He was giving her to him?

Taiju strode toward the woman. He placed himself in front of her, knelt, and offered her his back. "I'll carry you," he offered. "You can't go home barefoot. Don't worry. I won't do anything that you don't want." He couldn't see the woman's reaction but he was glad when she placed her soft body on his back.

She gave him the instructions to her apartment. For a while, they didn't talk and Taiju was surprised he liked even the silence with her. He heard her whisper, "Believe in my heart."

"What?" he asked, confused.

He felt her shake her head. "Someone told me that earlier this morning. Believe in my heart..." Silence, then: "Hey. Would you like to have tea with me once we reached my room?"

Taiju couldn't contain his smile. "Of course."

"And then you could talk to me about your God and about souls. Anything about what you believe in."

"Sure. It's a date."

She felt so light and fragile behind him.

For the first time in his life, Taiju wanted to properly take care of someone. Make sure not to hurt her. Make sure that she is loved and safe. Maybe, this time, he could love someone right.