Warning-
Sadness.
:,D

"We did everything we could. Sadly, she suffered from severe internal bleeding during the surgery. The cancer spread from her breasts to her brain, which her death has fortunately stopped the pain," the doctor informed, reading off the chart which was clutched in her gloved hands. She added some more things in which I was too young to understand. Tears were flowing from papa's eyes as his palms went to rub his pale face.

"What's wrong, daddy?" I asked, wondering why he was crying while mama was sleeping.

"She... she's really gone, l-love bug," papa stuttered, while lifting me on top of his lap. Giggling, I shook my head while pointing at mommy's sleeping figure. "No she's not! She's right here daddy!"

The female doctor looked at me with pity in her eyes. She knew something I didn't. "Oh! Are we playing hide and seek? Oh oh try to find me papa!" My tiny little fingers held my fathers as I lifted them up to cover his tearful eyes.

He broke.

Sobbing, he held me closer and began to wet my frilly pink shirt. The doctor came closer, rubbing the back of my father and I. "Do you want me to explain to her..?" She asked. My daddy shook his head and told her to give us a moment alone. She nodded and stepped out of the room.

It was silent.

Other than papa's sniffling and the soft buzzing of the machines behind mama, it was quiet. Finally, he rose his head and spoke in a shaky voice, "she's dead."

"Dead? Like, pretending to be dead?" I questioned in confusion, while struggling to pronounce 'pretending'. Sighing, papa wiped his eyes and shook his head.

"Mama's gone... on a trip. To a beautiful place filled with white pillars and wonderful, kind, beautiful -like your mother- angels," he explained. I wanted to go too! Why didn't mama bring us? It sounds like an awesome place! "I want to go too! Please let us go pa!"

"Let me finish first, baby girl. The trip that mama went to... well, she isn't coming back," papa went further with his explanation. "What? Why won't mama come back? Why can't we come? Why'd she leave?" Questions began blurting our of my mouth as I myself felt upset and began to tear up.

"You can't come. Not yet. But there will be a time where I'll be joining her..."

"Why can't I come too?" I cried, clutching onto my papa. He rested his chin on top of my little shoulder as he rubbed my back. Papa kisses my forehead as I whimper, jealous that mama went to an amazing place, and that papa was gonna go too without me.

As tears slowly poured from my eyes, papa wiped them with his thumb. "Dry your tears, darling. Mama is not truly gone. She's still in here," he gestured towards my heart. "How does mama fit in my heart?" I asked, once again very confused. He let out a choked laugh as he rested his forehead on mine. "Love. Her love fits in your heart."

"Oh! Does that mean your love is in my heart too?"

"Yes, always, my dear."

I smiled with that reassurance. Papa continued with Mama leaving subject. "How about we say goodbye to mama? Wish her farewell on her trip? Hm?" I shook my head 'no'. He rose his eyebrow in question. "What? Why?"

"I don't want mama to go!" I replied, glancing towards my mommy who was about to leave me. "Me either... but there's nothing we can do, honey," papa tried convincing me, but I continued resisting. "Is it because of me? Is it because I accidentally ate the last cookie? Is that why mama wants to leave me?" I began to sob again.

Papa caresses my cheek as I cry even harder. "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that cookie!" I cried out, rubbing my tears all over my face with my chubby arms. "No no, baby. It's not because of you. Remember God?"

I nodded, remembering my bedtime stories about Him. How he led Moses to building a boat, and how he sacrificed His only Son for ours sins. "Well, He has plans for Mama. He has plans of her becoming a great angel, and a great guardian. Her time here is done, but as I said, she's never truly gone." I pointed at my heart and gave a weak smile.

"Are you ready to say goodbye, now?" He asked once again.

And once again, I shook my head.

"Don't make me say goodbye..."

:,D
I'm silently sobbing on my bus.