The next morning, I prepared for the day ahead as it was Saturday. I had made up my mind that I would write her a letter daily until she understood how much she meant to me.

 I wrote a short note and left it on Emma's dresser. I prepared breakfast and eagerly waited for her. When she emerged, dressed in a new dress I had bought, I complimented her, "Whoa, Emma, you look beautiful!" But she didn't react much and just asked, "Whatever, Nathan, now what's for breakfast?" I replied, "Today's special is pancakes, eggs, and your favorite, orange juice," and then pulled out her chair for her to sit down.

  I did not ask if she had read the note. I did not want to make her uncomfortable around me. Had I done that in the past? Is that why she had said yes to Jake in the first place? I didn't let on that her rejection made me sad. I was happy to have her company.

    I  watched in amazement as she cleaned the dishes after breakfast was over. I did not expect her to do anything. I  dried them and put them away. Then, I turned to her. "Emma, would you want to go for frozen yogurt?" I asked. "Oh, Nathan, I don't know," Emma said. "Oh, I see, you don't like it anymore," I stated sadly.  "No, I like it, but who else is going?" The question took me for a loop. What would she do if I said it was only us?

      "I was thinking it could be my treat you like we used to," I said. I gave her a smile that showed I had no hard feelings towards her. "Yes, that sounds nice, " Emma said. I heard her sigh. Had I said something wrong?  She looked me over. "Do I have something on my shirt, my face even?" I blurted out. "No, Nathan, it is just I never noticed the twinkle in your eyes before," She remarked. I was taken aback, was that a compliment from Emma?

    I  grabbed my wallet and car keys.  I opened the door for her. Emma stood their standing there with her mouth open. "Girl, you better close your pretty mouth or the flies will get in." I teased. Emma shrugged her shoulders and stepped into the car. She put on the seatbelt and closed the door.  As I drove, I saw her turn on the radio. I saw her face pout. Then, she gleamed as she turned it to another station. As soon as Jagged Stone came on she relaxed. Strange, I never knew she liked his music I thought.

          Soon, we arrived at the yogurt place, after I parked the car, I opened the door for her again. This time she looked less surprised. "Thank you, Nathan, " She said. She stood on her tiptoes reached up, and peeked at my cheek. I blushed at her actions, surprised she had done such a thing.  I held her hand. I was glad she did not pull it away. Once inside the yogurt shop, she looked at the menu. I could tell she was amazed at all the new flavors. I ordered a chocolate yogurt with sprinkles and glanced in her direction, and "She will have the strawberry swirl yogurt with coconut flakes." I said from memory.

        I sat at a table in the back corner, and she sat beside me. "You remembered my flavor?" Emma asked in astonishment. "Well, yes, I remember many things about you, Emma, " I spoke softly. I could see she was feeling a bit awkward. I handed her the strawberry swirl and began eating the chocolate kind. I saw her pick up the spoon and hold the yogurt to her lips. For once, I sat there feeling jealous of the food. I know it is ridiculous, but how I longed to pull her close and kiss her. I could not. Not yet. Not when I was not sure she felt the same.

             When she finished, I took her to the park and sat with her watching the ducks. Emma laid her head on my shoulder. I thought, girl, what are you doing to me? I wrapped an arm around her and she whinced. "Emma, what is it?" I asked. I moved my arm. What had I done? "It's nothing, Nathan, it is just I know, I am a nobody. I am not even pretty unlike her." Emma said and pointed to some jogger girl. I could not take my eyes off Emma. "And soon, you will grow bored of me too," She said. Where was this coming from? I was shocked. Did she feel that way about herself?

            "Emma, you are beautiful to me, you are the only one I..." I heard her sob. This time she had her hands over her eyes. I lifted them away. "Emma, shh, darling, no girl will ever compare to you," I said.  I kissed her cheek wishing it could be her lips. I dared not do such a thing because I could not ruin what we had not when she did not want me.

            Emma stopped crying and looked into my eyes. She leaned in close and whispered, "Nathan, thanks you are such a great guy. I am glad you are my best friend." I blushed wishing she could see me as more than a great guy and way more than a best friend. I dared not say it.

           I walked with her back to the car and drove to my place. Once inside she sat on the sofa. I sat beside her watching a movie. When the guy kissed the girl, I ran out of the room. I could not do this much longer it was painful. I wanted her to love me.

         I did not notice when Emma followed me. I lay on my bed looking at the ceiling wishing for something that could never be. Emma walked over to me and without a word lay beside me. She held onto my waist and fell asleep. I blushed. She was holding me in her sleep. Wait, why did she hold onto me? 

      I soon fell asleep too. I woke up and she was gone. I called her name, "Emma?"  I heard no answer, where could she be? I heard whimpering coming from my study. I entered it slowly unsure what I find in there. I saw her on the floor holding a blanket, and heard her say, "Why me?  I am not what he thinks. I am trash."  I did not say a word, I sat close by and kept her company.  Emma heard me burp and laughed. "Nathan, that is funny." She teased. "Emma, d-don't...." I said as she put her hand on my face. "It is okay, I will make sure you like it." She teased. "Please, don't do this," I said. Emma was sitting on my lap now. "B-but, sugar bear," She said. It was the nickname she had given me in middle school. I blushed from the silly memories it brought.  Emma put her hand up my shirt. As much as I wanted this, I could not let her. Not when she was only doing this to try to make her forget about that stupid boy whose name shall not be mentioned.  

       I pushed her hand away. "N-No, E-Emma, d-don't. You are only doing this to get over him," I yelled at her. I dropped the present on the ground. "I have to go." I ran.

  I went outside, slamming the door behind me. Agh, why couldn't she see how confused she made me feel? I know I love her, but does she love me? I didn't think so. Why does she have to be so cute and why is she so awkward around me one minute, sad the next, and a flirt the next moment? Talk about being one weird girl. 

   I returned to find her in my kitchen cooking supper. I sighed. I noticed she did not a word to me. I thought about what happened earlier. I didn't know what to do. How could I show her I love her without losing myself, in the process?  

    She put chicken, rice, and green beans on the plate. It was my favorite meal. I blushed. I could not believe she remembered.  "You fixed my favorite dish," I said. Emma sat down tasted some of the food and smiled. The whole time she did not say a word. 

    After supper, I washed the dishes. I went to my room and started to get ready for bed. I read a book and soon lost track of time. Time and everything else that troubled me.

    On Sunday, I wrote the next letter and placed it on the mantle in the living room. This way, she would not expect one in the bedroom every day.  That was yesterday, and today was Monday, so  I left early for school. I left a note explaining where I was since she was not up yet. I arrived at the school with plenty of time to spare. I slipped it into her locker and then headed to class.

     Emma arrived fifteen minutes late. She came and sat at her usual desk. "Hi, sugar bear," She said with a smile. "Hi, sweet face," I said. Emma turned back around to face the teacher. Well, at least I tried, I thought.

  The school day went by fast. After school, I walked Emma home. I led her back to the study but turned on the light this time. Emma looked at the books in amazement. I could tell she was pleased. "You can read any book you like," I said. Emma hugged me and responded with my usual blush.

 Tuesday's letter, I left in the study on the bookshelf, on Wednesday the note was left on the kitchen chair where she sits, and on Thursday, I left one for her on her desk at school. Friday, I left one on the bathroom counter.  The next Saturday, it was on the back patio, Sunday, one in the garden,  and Monday one in the Gazebo. Tuesday,  was today, already, and  I left one in the hallway since it was raining. 

     "I had no idea how much the letters I wrote to Emma affected her. Although I noticed she cried less than before, I still felt like she only saw me as her best friend and didn't love me in any other way. I knew I should have been happy, that she spent time with me, but I couldn't help falling even more in love with her."