After a day of painful, painful waiting, I've finally been able to binge watch season five of Voltron

I'd love to get started but here's a very necessary disclaimer: this whole thing is a huge spoiler and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna swear considerably so rip whatever remnants of a g rating this book could have had

This is 90% unedited because it's just ten thousand years worth of opinions, take that theoretical physics

Oh, and for all you most of my readers who don't watch Voltron

. . .

I am so sorry

HOLY
FUCKING
QUIZNAKING
SHIIIIIT

LET'S GO I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHICH CATEGORY TO BEGIN ON

A weapon primarily used in medieval times wi – WHY AM I TRYING TO BE WITTY LANCE LANCE LANCE LANCEL ANCE LANCELANCELANCE LANCEY LANCE THE SHARPSHOOTER THE TAILER THE BEST BOY THE MAN HIMSELF

I screamed quite a lot during this season, mostly incoherently but with quite a few actual words

One memorable phrase was "tHE LANCE STANS ARE GONNA BE SO EXCITED HOLY SHIT"

Because our boy, our man,, he got screentime. He got recognition

He may be the only one who knows what's up with Shiro and that is really fucking insane but believe me when I say I'll get to that

I was ecstatic at the sheer amount of scenes that he got. There was such a good mix of that silly cockiness that we love and some real leadership?? The war has changed him, but not too much, which is amazing and guess what it's also development fans go crazy

Those scenes with the sentry!!! And Garisson trio!!!!! Were exactly what I've always needed in my life!!!!!!!!!!!

There were, however, some unsurprising scenes that show that while I'm not often right in my predictions, it can be pretty unfortunate when I nail one. I didn't get this one completely, however, and it was . . . wow

Enjoyable Lanllura? Guess there's a first time for everything
I make no secret of my general distaste for Lanllura. Yes, I love Klance and Shallura, but I just never liked it regardless. Still,, um,,,

Lesser of two evils?

Cause I can't tell if Lotor and Allura are making bedroom eyes or sibling eyes, and this has practically turned into a love triangle

This isn't the first time Lance got jealous of someone being close to Allura or just showing interest (that scene where Matt acts like a total weeb hmmmmm) and like that scene, I actually enjoyed it

Because I love those stupid "jealous because of a crush" plots man, even when they're a ship I don't necessarily love I just can't help it. All those scenes where Lotor and Allura duck out to act totally oblivious about the Haggar-Honerva thing (yep I'm touching on this for sure) are genuinely funny to me

Still . . .

We get it, you've given up on Klance
These ships are starting to feel a little weeeeeird?

I dunno man, I just never imagined that one animatic Ordinary Dreamer made as a joke to practically become canon, at least in Lance's head. Hard to describe, they just don't sit well with me

Speaking of things that left me unsettled –

Is this an OOC fan fiction or something
I make no secret my love of fanfiction, and I've seen quite a few written by beginner writers who are obviously biased towards Lance and make Shiro (and the others, but Shiro is typically the most obviously out of character) berate him so that they can get their sweet, sweet Langst. It's cute and indulgent, but even after Shiro started acting weird and clone theories popped up, I never thought about it going any further than the Keith-Shiro disagreements in S4

Then it happened in the canon before my very eyes

Okay, look, I didn't want to commit to the Shiro clone theory, I really didn't. It's getting obvious that they're pushing a plot like that, but I still avoided the topic

Yea that's not a thing that I'm gonna be continuing, something is up. It's not often I flip off Shiro, or cuss him out, but when he yelled at Lance,, um no that's not okay by any means

But the main thing I need to discuss is Lance's role in this because holy shit

Lance,, knows,, something's,, up,,,, I know everyone has noticed but he was the one that heard him call out when the memory of it happening was blocked from Shiro, he was the one who's been talking to Shiro about this, I love his role in this far too much for words because of all the people to guess it I'm beginning to realize he's my preferred choice

So yea, Space Dad, I'm guessing you're somewhere else

Galra gals
Minus Galra Momma (oh I have SO MUCH to say about heR) here's my space to rant about Girls With Galra Blood

Haggar/Honerva: here we go, this plot has been long coming and I'm so happy it's happening, Lotor just because you don't want to admit it doesn't mean she's any less your mom. I really love what Haggar's been doing as of late and I can't wait to see what you'll add next. The whole thing with Sendak was so fantastic and once I realized she was gonna recruit the remaining generals I screamed in happiness, the badass Galra gals being lead by a super cool antagonist um yes please

Acxa, Ezor and Zethrid: I love 'em. I'm so happy they're still an important part of the series. Every fight scene they're in is an absolute joy to witness and they all have a dynamic, whether it be in pairs or as a trio, that I simply love. That moment where Acxa saved Keith, after what happened with the Weblum? Perfection, every moment

Background characters: I don't know the names of a lot of Galra, but I just want to say that the girl with the Nyma style hair-skin, the girl with the pink hair, and just all the cool fem generals are really cool. I love how the two I just mentioned were working with Haggar at the end of season four (when I first noticed how cool they looked) yet now they're fighting in the civil war

I need to say something about every single one of the Holts right this second
How have I waited this long??? Surprising willpower for someone of my patience

Look, I love the Holts, and when Sam came back, I cried, I cried my heart out. He's such a goOD DAD AND THEY ALL DESERVE THE WORLD AND HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS

Oh before I go too crazy ok this topic keep in mind that in the first episode Matt and Pidge made a joke about Newtonian physics and 9.8 m/s/s and I,,, I get that joke guys, I know about acceleration due to gravity and the basics of kinematics, this makes me so happy because I'm a huge nerd and between this and the tesla high five these two are adding so many years onto my life

And once I saw that Zarkon had Sam (ooo another good topic I probably should've mentioned I'm gonna bring up) I knew Pidge would take the side opposite Lotor, and I knew that was the "every word is a lie" and "deal with the devil"

And I knew Sam would pilot them to safety, it makes me so happy, and seeing them all on Olkarion, AND SAM'S GONNA TELL THE GARRISON HOLY FUCK

All those hugs, those poor Pidge tears, and the way they have that beautiful familial synergy, it's just so pure

They're the best nerds of all time and I love them

MATT HUGGED THE ROBOT I ALWAYS FORGET THE NAME OF AND IT SAVED HIM look I don't take many screenshots at all yet multiples are just,, Matt hugging the robot

"That's how your mother and I met"
Small thing before I intermission. Hunk finally gets a scene, right?? Besides those beautiful Garisson trio shenanigans, Hunk didn't get much but comic relief again (I'm not even a Hunk stan but,, cmon,, better than season four I guess) and then he and Pidge are there taking awesome science talk, and she makes her dad prove herself right (pffffffFFFFFT) and then he says the quote above, about nerdy courting

Now might be an interesting time to mention the fact that Hunk and Pidge yelled a ship name for themselves in episode five

I'm pretty indifferent on their ship (probably my favorite if I have to ship Pidge with anyone though) but damn, Hid – I mean, Punk shippers, go to town, you've been suddenly blessed

:: Intermission ::
There's a wilhelm scream in episode five
:: Intermission over ::

DUDE YOU FUCKING KILLED IT
It's not often I go and reference Camp Camp (I don't watch it) but then again it's not often you y'know kill Zarkon

DAMN that fight scene was awesome!! I'm so happy to see the black bayard again, I worried we'd never again

I love the way this is gonna drive the plot, so,, yea, good on you guys, this should be pretty interesting

Ooooh, unintentional segway! Speaking of prettiness . . .

Pretty in more than just boys
Time to get a little less crazed before everything goes back to total fangirling hell, because these episodes were GORGEOUS???

I've always loved the animation, don't get me wrong, but it just seemed so nice this time round, that fight scene with Keith in episode five, the designs of within the White Lion-Alchemy place, even just some cool "camera" angles

Oh, and I've never mentioned this before, but I love Olkarion's design, those dark, diluted greens and whimsical pinks are everything

Storge
Oh my god
Oh my god
Did we just get,, some Lance family backstory??? They actually acknowledged the homesickness again???

FANFIC WRITERS  N A M E S  THEY HAVE OFFICIAL CANON NAMES

I'm so happy, this is how you do Langst, this is how, you, do, Langst, my precious boy

"You're my – ?!"
IT HAPPENED

IT HAPPENED PEOPLE

And, yet again, you guys had it but not quite

Like with Thace vs. Texan dad, it wasn't Acxa as I've seen a few theories for (I don't think it was as popular?) it was,, this amazing lady whose name I'm gonna butcher if I try to spell it

Let's face it, we all knew as soon as we saw her face, but Keith didn't and that was everything

And then she revealed it, and it was the reason why she didn't let him be killed like a Blade would and didn't leave him behind again and it's amazing, I love this momma so much she's my life now

This doesn't make up for Keith's continued lack of screentime (and no addressing of the y'know SUICIDE) but for my gentle heart, it sure comes close

El leon blanco
YEP, WE GOT IT, WE GOT THE SPIRIT LION, EL SEXTO LEON, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO FEEL HOLY FUCK

These scenes were really fun to watch, a seriously amazing experience, and I had a whole lot prepared to say but I don't even know how to say it man

Can't wait for all that alchemist stuff man!

AlsoIlovethewaytheguardianstatuesweresuperEgyptianesquebecauselikecatslionsmythologyinnovation

June 15th
Welp
Four days before my birthday and I could not be more excited
I can't wait to see what it brings

This is close to 2000 words I have a major problem