You probably know why I'm writing this. I'm better with these words than I could ever speak. I am honestly sorry for not being able to speak the words aloud, but maybe you would listen better if written. So here it goes.
I like you. You know that. I know that. That is not what this is about. This is about the crap that goes on in life. The crap that makes you want to die and just escape it all. Well there was one time when I asked you if you were disappointed in me. In what I had done. You had said no, and I asked why. You probably didn't know that your answer would be the thing keeping me safe. You had said that you were not disappointed because you know I stopped and wouldn't do it anymore.
It's not like I promised you. I never did. So when people ask me why I stopped, it's quite difficult to explain.
I promise.
-
You are hung up on her and I can't change that. I would if I could. I would make it so you never had to go back to those bad times because no one deserves that. No one. Whether they have been a good person like you or torn someone apart like her, no one should have to endure that kind of pain.
First best friend, first crush, first heartache. Well maybe not first heartache but it still hurts. Sometimes if you love something you have to let it go, whether it takes years or minutes. It's gonna hurt. If it comes back to you then you know it feels the same. They won't always come back and that's quite bad. It will tear you up, making you shreds to nothing.
When you let something go, maybe new things will come to you. You push these things away because you want that something to come back.
Those new things after a while are just going to drop, because maybe they deserve better than that. Some will stay by you because they are determined to help, or whatever else. I wish you wouldn't push us away.
-
Just take a fucking look in front of you. You are missing everything in front of you. You are missing the civil wars going on, and you are just caught up in her. These civil wars are going to tear people apart and soon there will be no one around you.
-
I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to go like that. I should erase what I have written, but if I do you would never know the truth. I fucking care about you and if there is ever a time when there is a hint of anything bad in your voice, eyes, face, heart, or anything else I will find it and try to fix it. I want you to let it all go, and to just be...
-
I promise you now. I promise that this promise will last.