[015] losing control

( trigger warning for blood and guts - literally )

                                  Courtney could feel that she was losing control. It was slipping through her fingers like sand as their time in the wilderness stretched on and on. She was losing control to Suki and worst of all, it seemed to be to something she couldn't understand. It was driving Courtney insane and before she felt tempted to explode, Courtney had to do something to let her frustration and anger out.

                                 So, when the sun was just beginning to rise, Courtney snuck out of the cabin. With the hunting knife in hand, Courtney ventured out into the woods. She wasn't too sure where she was going and the risk of getting lost lingered in the back of her mind. But she wasn't going to go back to the cabin without killing something.

                                 You see, a teenage girl needed something to kill. She needed to do something to release all of the pent-up angst and frustration within her or else bad things could happen. In Courtney's case, harming others helped her to do that. It was what made her feel better and truth be told, it fascinated her whenever she saw what she was capable of. The best part was that Courtney knew she hadn't even scratched the surface. She hadn't tested the limits of what she was capable of and just how far she could go to kill someone.

                                Luckily for Courtney, she wouldn't have to wait for much longer.

                                She pauses when she hears shuffling noises and so she rushes behind a tree, peeking out to see what was making noises. Courtney smiles when she sees that it was a white rabbit. Courtney smiles at the sight of it before she begins to creep towards it, her eyes sparkling with a predatory glint. Hiding the knife behind her back, she moved closer and closer. She'd end up stepping on a branch and the crack underneath her foot was enough to capture the rabbit's attention. Courtney thought that it would try to hop away but much to her surprise, it just stayed there and looked at her with its beady red eyes.

                                "Hey, little guy. You're so cute," Courtney cooed, getting down on her knees to get closer to it and dropping the knife in the process. "Oh, aren't you adorable? Come here."

                                It hops over to her, pausing for a moment as if trying to sense whether it could trust Courtney. Courtney takes the opportunity to scoop it up into her arms with a small and eerie smile on her lips. Stroking its fur with one hand, Courtney was quick to pick up the knife and grip onto the hilt as tightly as she could. It looks up at her, almost as if it knows exactly what Courtney was about to do but she doesn't even flinch. She didn't feel absolutely anything for the rabbit.

                                It was just a hunk of flesh and fur waiting to be slaughtered. There were two types of beings in this world: those who hunted and those who were hunted. Courtney had always been the former.

                              She slices its throat, watching as it struggled for a while. Dark blood leaked down its neck and stained its pure white fur. Some of it got onto Courtney's skin but she didn't care. She knew she'd end up washing it off into the lake afterwards. It didn't take too long for the rabbit to die before Courtney lied it back down onto the ground, slicing into its chest and moving down to the stomach. She opened it up, watching as its guts and insides slowly began to spill out. Courtney sets down the knife before she reaches inside, pulling out the intestines and tossing it to the side. She then grabbed its heart and pulled it out before admiring it closely.

                               Courtney then closes her hand into a tight fist, crushing up the heart and letting the blood smear down. No matter how depraved and fucked up this was, this was Courtney's way of letting her anger out and getting to release. Besides, it was better that she did this to animals than people. Although... there were a couple of people back at the cabin that Courtney wouldn't mind doing this to.

                               But no matter how tempting it was, Courtney couldn't. She couldn't let anyone see what a sick monster she was, especially not Suki. If she lost Suki because of her secret, Courtney was afraid of what she'd do to Suki... and to herself.

                             The sound of shuffling captures Courtney's attention and she quickly grabs the knife, standing up to see Misty Quigley on the ground. She had followed Courtney, curious about what she was doing. But she never could've imagined that the most popular girl in school liked cutting into animals and crushing their hearts for fun. Misty's eyes grow wide as she rushes up to her feet, already beginning to stammer in an effort to explain herself.

                           Courtney storms over to Misty, pushing her up against the tree and pressing the blade against her neck. "Why the fuck did you follow me?"

                          "I - I'm sorry. I was just curious to see what you were doing. If I had known, I wouldn't have," Misty shakes her head.

                           "You're not going to tell anyone what you just saw, are you?" Courtney raised a brow.

                           "Why? Would you actually kill me? People would notice if I was gone," Misty argued.

                           "You may be weird, Quigley, but I'd like to think that you were smart. You know everyone at the cabin fucking hates you, right? They hate you so much that if you were to go missing, they wouldn't care. They'd probably throw a party to celebrate. So really, I'd do them a favor by getting rid of you," Courtney says before she presses the blade just a little further, beginning to cut into Misty's skin. With one wrong move, she could slice her neck and then Misty would bleed out like a little pig.

                            "Please," Misty pleaded.

                             "Why shouldn't I? I'm a little curious to see how you'd look if I were to cut you open. Are you as weird on the inside?" Courtney sighed, smiling down at Misty, "It'd be no different from cutting into a pig. People in the slaughterhouse do it all the time. You know, they say pigs and humans aren't that different. Can you believe that? And yet we eat them all the time. Isn't that, like, cannibalism or something?"

                             "I won't tell. I won't say a word. You have to believe me. I won't tell. It'll be our secret," Misty pleaded.

                             Courtney couldn't lie. She was thrilled over seeing Misty so afraid. The fear was exciting, and Courtney couldn't get enough of it. Although she did feel tempted to just slice her throat and end it, she figured she could use Misty to her advantage.

                             "But I won't kill you, so long as you manage to keep your mouth shut. If you change your mind, I'll make sure you end up like that rabbit and then blame the wolves for it. Do you understand?" Courtney says.

                            Misty nods but there was also a weird look in her eyes. A mix of fear and... admiration. Courtney just scoffs before she finally lets go of Misty, the girl instantly touching her neck and frowning at the sight of blood.

                            "Don't be a baby, I just cut a little bit. Now come on," Courtney remarked before she began walking away.

                            "Where are we going?" Misty questioned.

                             "The lake, duh. I have to wash this off before the others wake up. You're going to help me," Courtney ordered.

                             The two girls walk over to the lake where Courtney's able to wash her hands and her legs. There was a small stain on her shirt but one you wouldn't be able to notice unless you looked close enough. Courtney wasn't too worried about it. What she was worried about was Misty who kept looking at her like she was the second coming of Christ.

                            "Why do you keep staring at me?" Courtney frowned as she started washing off the hunting knife.

                            "Sorry. I was just curious...," Misty trails off, looking as though she was debating on between telling Courtney her thoughts or keeping quiet.

                            "About?" Courtney prompted.

                             "What was it like?" Misty asks, her tone soft and genuinely curious.

                             "What?" Courtney blinks.

                             "Killing the rabbit," Misty explained.

                             "Are you actually interested? You're sick in the head, Misty Quigley," Courtney smirked.

                             "Takes one to know one," Misty teased.

                             Courtney looks at Misty, making the girl falter. Perhaps Misty had grown a little too comfortable. "It felt... powerful. I felt like a god. I was in control of that rabbit's life. I could let it live or kill it before some other animal did. There's something really beautiful about it."

                             But Courtney secretly feared the day when it wouldn't be enough. There were only so many animals she could kill before she'd crave for something more, a much bigger prey to conquer and rip apart. It was only a matter of time.

                              "Have you ever... killed a person before?" Misty asked next.

                              "No. Have you?" Courtney asks back.

                              Misty shrugs. "I've... thought about it. I could've killed someone actually. Coach Ben."

                               "What?" Courtney nearly laughs, shocked.

                                "I poisoned his tea but only a little. Just enough to make him sick. He threw up last night while you guys were doing your seance," Misty admitted.

                                Courtney chuckles. "That's wicked."

                                "I could've killed him. But I've stopped now," Misty shakes her head.

                                 "Because you like him," Courtney guessed.

                                  Misty smiles.

                                 "So why poison him if you like him?" Courtney raised a brow.

                                 "Just to show him how much he needs me," Misty admits, her words giving Courtney an idea of her own.

                                 "Hey, since we're friends and all, you wouldn't happen to have any more of that shit you used to poison Coach with.... do you?" Courtney asks, her smile growing.

(🌲🔪🦌)

                          After the whole seance (which Suki still couldn't remember), people were pretty much keeping their distance from her. Which... Suki was technically used to. But this felt different somehow. Regardless, Suki had decided to join the others in going to go hunt for berries since she couldn't be bothered to stay inside the cabin anymore. 

                           But while she was outside, she couldn't help but feel a shift in the air. Everything felt so much more alive and electric. Whenever she touched the trees or felt the breeze, there was something electric about it. Suki felt truly connected.

                         "Suki," her mom calls out to her.

                         She turns around at the sound of her mother's voice but she couldn't see her. All she could do was hear her, the panic and pleading in her tone. It was confusing since before, her mom had been so calm and reassuring. Was her mind playing tricks on her? Suki then saw a figure in the distance, one resembling the same deer she had seen before. She keeps staring at it, feeling drawn to follow it and see where it'd take her.

                          But just then, fingers snap in her face and Suki manages to snap out of it. She sees Mari standing in front of her, staring at her with a mixture of confusion and concern.

                          "Are you okay?" Mari questioned.

                          "You're talking to me?" Suki blinks.

                          "Yeah, last time I checked," Mari rolled her eyes.

                          "Do you see that?" Suki asks, turning around to point out the deer. But, of course, it was gone and Mari only stared at nothing.

                          "Are you trying to freak me out again? You did that enough last night, thank you very much," Mari argued. "And what's your deal anyway? I've been calling your name for the last five minutes and you haven't been answering. I swear, it's like you don't function properly without Courtney around."

                           "That's not true," Suki quickly argued.

                           "Sure it isn't. All she has to do is give you an order and you'll do it without hesitation. I think this is the first time in, like, forever that she's let you leave her side. She usually doesn't like sharing her toys with the rest of us," Mari continued.

                           "I'm not her toy," Suki denies.

                           "Then what are you? Her girlfriend?" Mari questioned.

                           Suki goes silent, knowing she couldn't tell the truth.

                           "That's enough, Mari," Van remarked, stepping into Suki's defense. It was a first and Suki greatly appreciated it.

                           "God, I'm just kidding. Can't you take a joke, Suki?" Mari pats her on the shoulder before she walks off.

                           Suki doesn't answer, leaving Mari to just keep searching for berries. A fruitless pursuit since nothing came out of it. Even Suki kept trying to search for them but there were none to be found.

                           "Seriously, how the fuck are there no fucking berries?" Mari complained, kicking the bush in frustration.

                            "The birds could be picking them off. Or - or mice," Akilah suggests. 

                           Suki wondered if there was something more to it. If the wilderness was somehow making the berries disappear so they'd have no choice but to eat something else.

                           "I'd eat the crap out of a mouse right now," Van sighed, making Suki chuckle and the other girls voice their disgust.

                            "You know, some animals live off eating their own vomit," Lottie suddenly declared.

                           "Okay. Thanks for that image, Lot," Van responded.

                            "Did Dead Cabin Guy tell you that, or do you guys just chat about blood and stuff?" Mari taunted.

                            "No, we mostly talk about how Danny Mears dumped you for his own cousin," Lottie retorted, getting up before beginning to walk away.

                            "For the last time, they're second cousins! And that's totally legal, you know," Mari argued while Suki began to chase after Lottie.

                            With the two now walking side by side, they'd soon approach the same deer again. It looked directly at them, its antlers coated in flesh and blood. Suki swore she could smell the heavy, metallic scent lingering in the air.

                             "Do you see it too?" Suki questioned.

                             "Yes," Lottie answered, sounding almost joyful that someone else could see it too.

                             Neither of them were going insane.

                             Just as Lottie backed away, she and Suki both turned around to see Van now approaching them.

                             "Hey, look, ignore Mari, okay? I don't think she's taken a shit in, like, two weeks," Van replied.

                             "Yeah," is all Lottie said.

                             "Are you two okay?" Van then asked.

                             Suki looks behind her, but the deer was gone, vanishing once again.

                             "What's wrong?" Van questioned.

                             "Nothing. It - it... It's fine," Lottie answers for the both of them, plastering a smile onto her lips.

                             "Okay," Van nods, although the way she looked at them both told her that she wasn't too convinced. Still, she walks away, leaving Lottie and Suki alone. 

                             Suki looked behind her again, once again seeing the deer. It had come back, seeming intent on taking the both of them away. She looked at Lottie who also saw it too but kept walking away, neither of them having much of a choice. With the group already viewing them as crazy, they didn't need to add fuel to the fire. 

                              Little did Suki know.

(🌲🔪🦌)

word count: 2731
notes: my personal hc for courtney was that if the wilderness didn't happen and things went on as normal, she literally would've grown up to become a serial killer lmao. technically she still could if she makes it out but you know what i mean. she and misty are also technically on the same level of crazy but court does a better job of hiding it by acting popular and bitchy so no one would suspect her of anything like they would with misty who's just... weird. but misty is lowkey going to become courtney's biggest fan now since she realizes that she's just like her.

p.s. i based courtney off of that one character in girl from nowhere (i think junko was her name) where she was literally obsessed with people's insides and she killed her bully and played with her intestines (it's a wild show lmao but so good, i highly recommend). but anyways, let me know what you thought about this chapter!!