[027] one with the wilderness

                                               Two months since Jackie's death, things had already taken a shift.

                                               The winter seemed to be endless, the snow pouring down every day and basically driving the animals away. Everyone was feeling pretty hopeless, the mood growing more and more grim with the lack of food and with the fact that death was bound to come for them. It had come for Laura Lee, and it had come for Jackie too. It was only a matter of time before it came for them.

                                               Unless they did exactly what was asked of them.

                                               Suki still found it odd that the same people who once deemed her psychotic and unhinged were now begging her for answers. She and Lottie had become the leaders of their team, not entirely by their choice. The girls needed someone to follow and with both Suki and Lottie having answers that no one else did, it only made sense for it to be them. While Suki was happy to be accepted in a way, it brought the burden of responsibility on her shoulders that she wasn't too sure she was ready for. Mari and Van were the most devoted, Mari constantly siding with Suki all of a sudden. She had never really apologized for all of the things she had to Suki but at this point, Suki had long since given up on waiting for one.

                                               Courtney and Suki were practically closer than ever, especially now that Courtney had accepted the wilderness. Her eyes didn't change back but everyone inside the cabin had gotten used to them by now. Even though Suki still continued to get dreams and saw things, she could now talk to either Lottie or Courtney about it and it helped for her to feel less alone. 

                                              But Natalie pretty much avoided Suki, only acknowledging her when it came time for her and Travis to leave for another one of their hunts. Lottie would rub the dirt on their palms and Suki burned the sage, allowing the smoke to cover them in protection. Natalie could hardly recognize Suki anymore, and while it hurt to see the sweet girl turn into... this, she knew that there was no bringing the old Suki back.

                                             Suki didn't see anything wrong. She was doing what It wanted, she was listening to Its voice. And now she had more friends who'd listen to her than she could've ever imagined. Natalie and a few others may have found it strange, but Suki couldn't see what was so wrong with it. If it was so messed up, how was it that they were all still here?

                                             "Did you see anything new lately?" Courtney asks, her hands running through Suki's short dark locks while she rested her head on Courtney's lap.

                                             "Yes. No. Not really. I've been having the same dream over and over again," Suki admits.

                                             "The one with the big feast," Courtney guessed. "Isn't that a good thing?"

                                             Suki had been having the same dream for weeks now. She was sitting down at a table with the others, all of them seated before a glorious banquet of food. They were all dressed up, mirroring the Gods and Goddesses of Olympus. There was so much food and all of them ate. It was the most all of them had eaten in a really long time.

                                             "Yes, I suppose. But I'm just not sure as to what it means. I mean, it's not like any of us in here are preparing for any big feast," Suki remarked. She wasn't sure whether to take the dream literally or not. 

                                             "Maybe it's a sign of things to come," Courtney responded.

                                             "You should add more herbs," Misty says aloud, causing the two to look over and realize that she was talking to Mari who kept stirring the soup over the fire continuously with a despondent look on her face.

                                             "I am about to," Mari drawls, sending Misty a look that automatically makes her look back down. "Okay, where the hell is Shauna with the meat?"

                                             Everyone goes silent, but not because they had no clue. They knew exactly where Shauna was.

                                             "Seriously? Are we just not gonna talk about how she's in the meat shed all day with dead-ass Jackie?" Mari continued.

                                             "Mari, leave it alone," Lottie warned.

                                             Mari looks over at Suki afterwards, seeing if she'd agree with her at least.

                                             "She's right. Jackie was her best friend and she isn't ready to let go of her yet. She needs time," Suki replied. She, out of anyone else, knew what it was like. She still had yet to let go of her mom, however.

                                             "It's been two months," Mari argued.

                                             "Give her some time, alright? She's still grieving," Coach Scott added.

                                             "Yeah, or she's gone full on Norman Bates," Akilah stated with raised brows.

                                             "What do you guys think they're talking about?" Melissa questioned.

                                              "Gods of the dirt? Their dumb jock boyfriends?" Gen shrugged.

                                              "Boyfriend. They shared one, remember?" Courtney corrected her.

                                              "I don't think that one was by choice," Gen remarked, earning a snort out of Courtney.

                                               "Hey, sensitive subject," Suki warned her.

                                               "Come on. It's common knowledge. Besides, what's Jackie gonna do? Fight us from beyond the grave?" Courtney scoffed.

                                               Soon enough, Shauna would come back into the cabin with slabs of bear meat. The others looked at her, the mood quickly souring as they looked towards the grieving girl. But Courtney immediately noticed that it was a lot smaller than before. It was growing smaller and smaller as the days went by and Courtney wasn't nearly as satisfied as she knew she probably should've been.

                                               "I had to cut back the rations again. There's not much left," Shauna announced, handing it over to Mari before walking off.

                                               Suki looks at Shauna, feeling sad for her. Even though what she had said to Jackie that day was far from right, she was obviously feeling guilty for it now. But soon enough, Suki's empathy would turn into hunger when the stew would finally be ready. They'd make their way towards the pot, only to find that Misty was stirring instead. 

                                              "Hey. The fuck are you doing?" Mari questioned, glaring down at Misty who quickly turned around to look at the others.

                                              "Me?" Misty asked.

                                              "Get away from that. You know the rules," Mari answered.

                                              Misty quickly rises up to her feet, huffing out a laugh. "It's not like I'm gonna poison anyone... again."

                                              "You drew the four this morning, Misty. You have to get the water," Akilah swiftly reminded her.

                                              "But that's not fair. I... I've been doing it every day, and it's freezing out there. I -," Misty started to ramble, only to see that the other girls could give a shit less. "Fine."

                                              She stormed out of the cabin with the bucket, just as Shauna came down to join the others. Lottie handed her a bowl and Shauna went to go and join the others. They'd all get in a line and get food, eating in a somewhat peaceful silence. Of course, it wouldn't be long before someone decided to ruin it all. It'd be after they would finish eating, no one entirely satisfied with their food. They were still hungry for more and so, Melissa decided to speak up and say something.

                                            "Suki?" Melissa asked her.

                                             Suki looks over at her, waiting for her to continue.

                                            "You said before that we'd be able to get more food soon," Melissa added.

                                             "And we will. It promised," Suki assured her.

                                             "But nothing's happened. It hasn't happened for a while now," Melissa remarked. "And the rations are only getting shorter."

                                             "Are you questioning Suki?" Courtney frowned.

                                             "I was just -," Melissa began to say.

                                             Courtney slaps her hard across the face, making the others instantly look at her. Suki even flinches, the sound echoing throughout the cabin. Melissa clutched onto the side of her face, it slowly growing red from the severity of Courtney's slap.

                                             "After everything that she and Lottie have done for us? You ungrateful little bitch. If Suki says food will come soon, then it will," Courtney scolded her.

                                            Suki knew that Courtney believed in her. She could feel it. But she also wondered if Courtney was using Suki's newfound power as an excuse to keep the others in check and hurt them if necessary.

                                             "Y - you're right. I'm sorry," Melissa quickly apologized.

                                             Suki just nods and Courtney sits back down, continuing to eat her stew like nothing had happened. Some of the others - the doubters of the group - were shocked by Courtney's actions and that Suki didn't bother to say anything. But for the others, it had become normal. The few who dared to question Suki and her knowledge would be met with Courtney's ire and the blonde wasn't nearly as forgiving as her girlfriend. Not even Lottie had bothered to intervene. Nothing she'd say would make a difference for Courtney anyway.

                                             The only person Courtney ever listened to besides herself was Suki.

                                             As Suki seemed to be growing in power, Courtney was still holding onto her - sinking her claws deeper and deeper. She cemented her role as Suki's protector as well as her girlfriend. No matter what Suki's role was in the group, Courtney would make sure to find a way for Suki to still be wrapped around her finger. And also abuse the little bit of power she did have by being with Suki.

                                             Eventually, the other girls would manage to go to sleep after that. Suki would find herself back at the banquet table, the others looking directly at her with unnerving smiles on their faces. Suki then noticed a plate being placed in front of her by her mother, the woman also wearing the same unnerving and creepy smile. Suki glances down, realizing that it was being covered by a cloche. She glances up at the others again, their eyes turning black and their teeth growing sharp like a wolf's. There were blood stains on their face and neck, blood also staining the table where their food had been.

                                            Suki then raised up her hands as she went over to lift up the cloche, finding that they were stained with blood. But nonetheless, she persisted and decided to raise up the cloche to see what her food would be. On her plate was Jackie's head, her eyes opening up and staring right at her. 

                                           Just then, Suki woke up - shooting right out of bed. She'd look around to find that the others were now awake. She looked over at Travis who appeared to be having a panic attack of some sort, Lottie hovering above him and resting her hand on his chest to try and calm him down.

                                           "Breathe with me, okay? You can do that, okay? Breath is the only thing in this world right now," Lottie instructed, calm as ever. "Breathe in. And out."

                                           It seemed to be working because Travis was slowly beginning to calm down, his breathing growing slower and more even.

                                           "You're doing great. One more," Lottie advised.

                                           He seemed to calm down after that, pulling the blanket over himself for some reason. Suki assumed he might've been cold or something.

                                           "Your brother's alive," Lottie then says, "I know he is. Suki felt it too."

                                           Still disoriented from her nightmare, Suki could only nod when the other girls looked at her. She had talked to Lottie about it but she hadn't dared to say it out loud before, knowing that Natalie might get angry with her for putting false hope into Travis's head. Still, Suki knew what she had felt. So she was more than a little relieved when Lottie was the one to say it first.

                                           "You should get some rest," Lottie adds before getting up, allowing Natalie to rush in and take care of him.

                                            But Natalie would glare at Suki in between, leaving her confused. With Natalie being Natalie, she wouldn't leave Suki alone for long. So while the others were settling down and Suki had wandered off to clear her head, Natalie would confront her right then and there.

                                            "What the fuck are you doing?" Natalie questioned.

                                            Suki frowned in confusion. "Being alone for a moment to clear my thoughts."

                                            "I'm talking about Javi. Do you and Lottie seriously think he's still alive? It's been two months in a brutal winter... you can't do this to Travis," Natalie shakes her head.

                                             "Do what? Tell him the truth? Javi is out there and he's alive. I feel him. The wilderness is keeping him alive for a purpose," Suki argued.

                                             "How do you know he's alive?" Natalie questioned.

                                              "How do you know he's not? You haven't opened yourself to the wilderness, you haven't allowed It to guide you. Have you ever wondered why you couldn't find Javi? It's your fault," Suki accused.

                                              "My fault? That's rich. Since you're friends with the wilderness, how come you can't find him?" Natalie shot back.

                                              Suki chuckles. "I'm not in control. It is. It'll bring Javi back to us when It wants to. We're on It's time. This is all by the wilderness' design. I know that now."

                                               She wasn't meant to intervene; she had tried with Laura Lee and Jackie. She had to trust It, no matter how painful Its decisions proved to be.

                                               "You've really lost it, you know that?" Natalie scoffed.

                                               "Say what you want. Your words don't hurt me anymore, not when the others believe in me and It. You'll see when he comes back. You'll see," Suki responded.

                                               Natalie shakes her head, beginning to storm off. But Suki wasn't finished with her yet.

                                               "The wilderness has big plans for you, Nat. Very big plans. You may not believe in It now, but you will very soon. It'll make sure of that," Suki adds.

                                              Natalie turns her head slightly, beginning to look at Suki from over her shoulder. But she stops herself and keeps walking. Suki wraps her arms around her body, biting her lower lip as she thought back to her night terror. This was different than the other dreams she had, making her wonder what it all meant. 

                                              Why was she continuing to dream of the banquet? And why had Jackie been there this time?

(🌲🔪🦌)

word count: 2421
notes: courtney's really out here smacking bitches who try to question her cult leader gf. and while suki's not exactly for it, she isn't gonna stop her either. she's too busy also enjoying the little power she has. but anywho, we're going to go back to the adult timeline for the next two chapters in which adult courtney will finally be introduced. who's excited????