[045] no other choice

                                                      Suki had lost track of time, given that she was constantly in and out of consciousness. Misty had tried to take care of Suki's eye (or lack thereof) so the gaping wound didn't become infected. She even wrapped her up, covering her eye so there couldn't be any more damage. But Suki felt sick nonetheless, feeling sick with both nausea and hunger. Between the dehydration and the dizziness she felt whenever she'd even attempt to sit up, Suki truly felt as though she was on death's door. 

                                                     But Courtney wasn't willing to let her go, sinking her claws deep into Suki and making sure she stayed regardless of whether or not Suki wanted to be alive or not.

                                                     She was constantly by Suki's side but Suki could hardly keep her eye open longer than a couple of minutes before she was out of it again. When she was awake, she saw Courtney's sobbing face, Lottie a bloodied mess right beside her, Misty above her and rambling about something, even Mari who looked worried for her. But she also saw the Antler Queen in the corner, watching her as It always did. 

                                                    Suki ultimately felt terrible for failing in her attempt to sever the connection between her and the Wilderness. She had been so close in taking out both of her eyes and finally ending her visions. Now, she only had one eyes and she felt like she wanted to die. At this point, Suki was ready to. But the Wilderness didn't want to let her go either.

                                                      It wasn't going to let either Lottie or Suki go.

                                                      Lottie was in a horrible condition, her eyes bloodshot and her face swollen. Every single part of Lottie's body was in pain after Shauna's beating, making it hard for her to breathe. Each breath was painstaking and shallow, the poor girl wheezing just to try and catch her breath.

                                                     Suki was pale, her body going into cold and hot flashes and vertigo keeping her bound to the floor. Courtney saw Suki's eyes whenever she was asleep, unable to tear away from the horrifying sight of Suki's now mangled and bloody eye socket. There was a little bit of blood that had crusted around the edges, peeking through the makeshift eye patch Misty had made for her. Her pale skin was coated in sweat, her clothes sticking to her body, and she also took shallow breaths due to her body being weak from everything it had gone through.

                                                     No one could tell if Lottie or Suki were going to make it. Courtney was more than willing to pick one, if the choice came down to it, and it was pretty obvious who her choice was going to be.

                                                     When Suki wakes up again, gasping for air, she'd look up at the ceiling which slowly began to spin. Her vision was a little blurry so after blinking a couple of times, Suki was eventually able to see. She expected to find her girlfriend and Misty looming above her. But instead, the attic which she and Lottie had been holed up in the entire time, was empty except for her.

                                                    "Lottie? Courtney? Courtney!" Suki desperately called out, hopeful to hear some sort of response.

                                                    "Did you really think we'd let you go?" the Antler Queen spoke, causing Suki to quickly sit up and look in front of her. There It stood, once again shrouded in darkness.

                                                    "Did you really think we'd let you go?"

                                                    "Did you really think we'd let you go?"

                                                     Every time she spoke, one or two more whispers followed behind it. One of the voices sounded like her mom, the other sounded like Jackie. It was honestly hard to tell and Suki groans to herself, holding her head in her hands. It echoed throughout the attic, adding to the fever-like haze Suki already found herself in.

                                                    "We're not finished with you yet," It adds, stepping forward.

                                                    "We're not finished with you yet."

                                                    "I can't do this anymore. I want to be free. If you have to kill me, so be it. But I don't want to do this anymore," Suki pleaded.

                                                    "What you want is not your choice. What you want is not your choice. You have to finish - you have to finish - or else you're going to regret it," It warned.

                                                    "Or else you're going to regret it."

                                                    Suki scoffs. "I'm already regretting it. What more is there? You've taken everything from me."

                                                    "A new sacrifice is coming. A new sacrifice is coming. Someone new must be chosen to be taken by the Wilderness. Someone new must be chosen to be taken by the Wilderness," It responded.

                                                    "Someone new must be chosen..."

                                                    "What? Wasn't Jackie enough? I thought she was the end for all of this," Suki argued.

                                                      Laughter follows and it sounds like her mom's, bubbly yet low and haunting at the same time. It makes all the hairs on the back of Suki's neck stand straight up. "Silly girl. Silly girl. She was just the beginning. She was just the beginning."

                                                    "No, no, no, no. Please take me. Take me instead. Kill me please," Suki pleaded.

                                                      Mari had been watching over Suki, wiping her face clean of sweat, when she suddenly heard the girl beginning to speak. At first, she thought that Suki had woken up. But she quickly realized that she was still asleep. She was dreaming just as she had constantly been doing ever since she had come back from harming herself.

                                                    "Take me instead. Take me instead," Suki says, her head shaking back and forth.

                                                    "Courtney?" Mari called out.

                                                      Courtney quickly rushes over to where Mari stood, rushing to see Suki's progress. Despite the fact that she was exhausted and hungry, Courtney's main concern was Suki. If she lost her, she didn't know what she'd do. Courtney was going to do everything she could to keep Suki alive, as she had done during the past couple of days.

                                                    "She's dreaming again. She was talking to herself and I - I didn't know what to do," Mari responded and this was the most concerned that Courtney had ever seen her.

                                                    "Suki?" 

                                                    "Suki, wake up."

                                                     "Suki, wake up."

                                                     Suki finally manages to wake up, shaky breaths leaving her lips as she focused her gaze directly on the blonde hovering over her. Courtney smiles, soft chuckles of relief leaving her lips as she saw her.

                                                    "You're okay. It was just a nightmare," Courtney assured Suki, beginning to caress her cheek.

                                                    "Courtney," Suki manages to get out, her throat dry.

                                                    "Yes?" Courtney responded.

                                                    "I don't think I'm going to make it," Suki admitted.

                                                    "Of course you are," Courtney persisted, holding onto Suki's hand. "You're going to make it."

                                                    "No, I'm not. Something's coming, Court. The sacrifice is approaching. It needs to be me," Suki remarked.

                                                    "What?" Courtney responded.

                                                    "It needs to be me. I don't think I can go on any more, Court. When I die, you have to eat me. Let me be the sacrifice," Suki persisted.

                                                    "Suki, stop it," Courtney shakes her head.

                                                    "You have to," Suki hissed, the serious look in her eye making Courtney falter.

                                                    "What is she saying?" Mari inquired.

                                                    "Go take care of Lottie. I can handle her," Courtney ordered.

                                                     Mari looked at Suki for a moment before she joined Misty who was preparing to help Lottie get up and relieve herself. Her urine wasn't looking too good at all, blood mixed in it. Misty worried that it was a kidney infection from Shauna kicking her hard in that very area. But Lottie had a lot more than to worry about that. She was a mess and so was Suki.

                                                     However, Courtney was still more focused on Suki and what she was telling her.

                                                    "Listen to me, you're not going to die and nothing's going to happen to you. You're going to be just fine. If there's going to be anyone that ends up being a sacrifice, it's going to be one of those people downstairs," Courtney swore. "I'm going to protect you - I promise you. I won't let anyone or anything take that away from me,"

                                                     Suki knew that Courtney meant every word.

                                                   "You're going to make it through this. We are going to make it through this," Courtney adds, her eyes rimmed with red from the blood vessels which continued to pop for mysterious, unknown reasons. "But I need you to fight with me. I can't let you leave me. Without you, I'm nothing."

                                                   Suki releases a shaky breath, feeling her eye well up with tears. She doesn't even realize that the tears were rolling down her cheek until Courtney reached over to wipe the tears away. And then Courtney stayed by her side and held onto her for as long as she could until Suki eventually drifted off to sleep again, dreaming of blood and fire.

(🌲🔪🦌)

                                                 Courtney only went back downstairs of finding Suki something to eat or drink, although that was pretty limited as well. Her mind was clouded with thoughts and the others noticed her pacing back and forth, beginning the terrible habit of biting her nails. None of them really knew what to say to Courtney or how to comfort her. She may have been a psychotic bitch but they knew that Suki was her everything and the whole situation was taking its toll on her.

                                                Everyone in the cabin was feeling nothing but hopelessness and despair, their two prophets and beacons of hope down for the count. They had known why Lottie was in that attic, Shauna using her to release all of her anger and aggression. But no one could really quite figurue out why Suki had done what she did. It wasn't as though she could really talk to anyone at the moment, aside from Courtney and even then it wasn't much.

                                                No one knew what to do without the guidance of their leaders. And with the hunger ravaging what remained of their sanity, things were only bound to get worse.

                                                She kept on biting her nails until she accidentally cut her skin with her teeth, feeling a faint sting of pain. Courtney pauses as she watches the blood rise up to the surface and she suddenly places her thumb in her mouth, sucking on the blood and lightly humming at the taste. She closes her eyes, savoring it for a moment, before she opened her eyes and quickly pulled her thumb out of her mouth.

                                                Mari was preparing some more stew when she suddenly rushes up to her feet, looking around fearfully. "It's back. The dripping, I - I just... I just heard it."

                                               "I hear it too," Taissa agrees, seemingly baffled by the revelation herself, as she sits up.

                                              "You do?" Mari responded, happy that someone could finally hear the noises that had been plaguing her for so long.

                                                Van, however, wasn't so easily convinced. "You do?"

                                               "Yeah, I think - maybe it sounds like it's coming from over there," Taissa declared, pointing towards the wall lined where all sort of weapons were mounted on the wall. Courtney and the others look over but it'd only be Mari who'd see something truly horrifying.

                                                Mari screams in horror, quickly backing away from the wall which she continued to stare at with wide eyes. She nearly trips over her own teammates in the process of getting away, the next words leaving her lips even more confusing than her past claims. "Oh my God! Oh my God! They're dead! They're dead, they're dead, they're dead!"

                                               "Mari! There's no one there. There's no one there, I promise," Taissa tried to assure Mari, holding onto her arm.

                                                The girl looks over at Taissa before back at the wall, still feeling convinced that what she had seen was real. "They were! No, their blood was dripping on the floor. You heard it. You - you..."

                                               "It's just the hunger, Mari. It's just the hunger - that's all," Van responds, trying her best to comfort Mari. But that's the last thing that happens.

                                                Later on, Courtney once again found herself back up in the attic to tend to Suki. Misty was with her and the two of them were tending to the two girls. But a sudden noise from Lottie would ultimately capture their attention. She was gasping for air, her breathing growing even more labored than before. Courtney could hear it in the way she gasped for air.

                                               "Lottie, are you okay?" Courtney asks, glancing down at her. She debated on whether or not she should kill Lottie. It'd be easy for her to do it too. She could strangle her and in mere seconds, Lottie would be dead.

                                                A weak breath leaves Lottie's lips as a sign that she had heard her question. Courtney then looks away from her and focuses her attention on Misty who creeps closer to take in Lottie's appearance.

                                               "Oh, she isn't looking too good," Misty remarked. "Lottie needs help or else she isn't going to make it."

                                              "Then I say we kill her," Courtney offered.

                                               Misty's eyes widen from fear. "What? We can't do that."

                                              "Why not? She's already dying. Might as well end her suffering," Courtney reasoned with a shrug. "It's the best option."

                                               "Courtney's right," Lottie weakly interjects.

                                               "What?" Misty asks, both she and Courtney turning around to look at her.

                                               "If I die, don't waste my body. Promise me you won't, Court. I heard what... what Suki... asked of you. I'm more than... than willing to sacrifice myself," Lottie reasoned, nodding her head.

                                               "Do you promise?" Courtney asks, meeting Lottie's gaze.

                                                Lottie nods. "I swear it."

                                               "No. No way. No, we're not even gonna think about that right now. That's not an option," Misty quickly denies, shaking her head.

                                               "Why the fuck not? We can't survive this winter on broth forever," Courtney replied, feeling herself growing hungrier and hungrier.

                                               "Because we need both Lottie and Suki to lead us. We can't lose either of them," Misty reasoned.

                                               "Then I hope you're prepared to work a miracle to save Lottie."

                                               "From what? Death?"

                                               "From me. I'll do whatever it takes for Suki and I to survive and you're either with me or against me. I should hope that you're on my side, Misty."

                                               "Yes, of course! You know I am!"

                                               "Then we should tell the others about what Lottie said. We can't keep acting like shit's fine. So either you do it or I will."

(🌲🔪🦌)

                                                 "Hey, how are Lottie and Suki?" Akilah inquired, the question coming at a perfect time. It was right after they had finished their latest helping of leather belt soup and although all of them wanted to ask the big question, Akilah was the only one who had the very guts to ask.

                                                "Suki's fine but... recovering. She'll be back to normal in no time," Courtney replies, standing beside Misty.

                                                 "Yes. And as for Lottie, uh... She, um...," Misty trails off, glancing at the others and quickly noticing how they were all practically on the edge of their seats. "She said that if - if she dies, she wants us to make use of her. To stay alive."

                                                   Everyone paused, pretty shocked over the sudden declaration. But they also seemed to be... anticipating it now. Jackie had fed them fairly well and now Lottie? Courtney bites back a smile as she sees the hungry look in their eyes.

                                                 "Did she really say that?" Gen questioned, sounding both baffled and excited at the same time.

                                                 "She must be really fucking sick," Melissa states.

                                                  Van looked around at the others. "I can't imagine being here without her."

                                                 "Me either," Shauna murmurs, earning a scoff from Courtney. She had no problem nearly beating her to a pulp but now she was concerned abou her?

                                                 "Then let's not. Lottie's isn't gonna die. The Wilderness won't let her die, just like It managed to keep Suki alive," Mari argued frustratedly, determined to still believe in Lottie.

                                                 "It may not want her to, but if she's starving... there's no way she's gonna live," Travis remarked.

                                                 "The same is true for all of us," Natalie added.

                                                   Taissa sat up which made the others look at her. "Okay, we need to find a way to stay alive. And it can't be her."

                                                "Fine. So it can't be Lottie or Suki which basically leaves the rest of us, right? We're all capable of being next, of being chosen by... It. We might as well make a game out of it," Courtney offered, stepping forward.

                                                "What fucked up game do you have in mind?" Natalie questioned.

                                                 Courtney hums to herself before she found the stack of playing cards, holding them up for everyone to see. "I say, we use these to help us choose."

                                                "Cards seriously?" Taissa scoffs.

                                                "Do you have a better idea?" Courtney challenged, only earning silence from Taissa. "Does anyone have a better idea?"

                                                 No one answered, leaving Courtney to smile in satisfaction.

                                                "That's what I thought. Now we have no other choice but to go through with this or else we're all dead, okay? The game's simple. Now whoever pulls out this card -," Courtney holds up the Queen card, one that creepily had its eyes scratched out. "is the one that's chosen to be sacrificed. It's fair, isn't it?"

                                                "I guess so," Misty agreed.

                                                "Thank you, Misty. Now come on, let's get ready to play the game and let the Wilderness decide our fate," Courtney replied, looking at them all with red, devious eyes.

                                                 She was more than ready to play the game and see just who would finally help to end their hunger.

(🌲🔪🦌)

word count: 3041
notes: hehe is anyone shocked that courtney was the one who proposed the idea for the hunt? probably not lol. random but i made these cute little edits of my baby. there's suki (pre-eye loss) and courtney being a psycho barbie