But oh how unfortunate it seems love wasn't the thing I sought after so dearly anymore.

I woke up with a racking pain in my limbs as well as my head. I was laid down on something  that moved quite a lot. Maybe a cart? I didn't know. All I knew was that it pained me even to open my eyes.

It was absurd, My head was like a contrasting painting with bold brush strokes to bring out the both heights in it. Indecisiveness.
was what I had called it. But it wasn't both my voices.  One was mine, docile, meek and fragile while the other was potent , distinct and raucous. Eerily enough, I wanted to devour that voice , make it my own after all what it preached wasn't all that false.

What was the point in seeking love?? you loved your father? did it end up in him loving you back?  a snort broke out. he doesn't even know you exist.
What you do need dear is something permanent, not as ephemeral as love but rather something that's very hard to shake off.

Hatred.

Not quite, close enough though.

Fear.