┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ 。˚ ✧

┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ 。˚ ✧

The beeping of the monitors was making Bada nervous.

While her classmates where celebrating their sports day today, Bada was lying in a hospital bed. Multiple cables were attached to her body measuring her heart rate and other important things.

Bada sighed. She knew these appointment with Dr. Huh were important but yet it made her feel depressed inside. She wanted to have a normal last year of high school. Yet she always had to skip lessons because she was stuck in hospital.

She was scrolling through her schools bulletin board on their website and saw pictures and videos her classmates were taking during the sports day. The blonde lass sighed. She wanted to cheer on her classmates as well and scream victory when her class would win.

But here she was connected to beeping monitors and heart rate measurement devices and an IV drop and god knows what.

"Bada, stop frowning."

Bada clicked her tongue. "Wouldn't you frown if your friends had fun in the sun when you were stuck to these fucking machines all day?", she asked. The beeping on the monitor got louder and Song Maria looked at her daughter. "Don't cuss, love. And don't get worked up, Bada. You know these examinations are important. Otherwise Dr. Huh can't tell—"

"I know, Mum! I fucking know!"

Bada sighed and threw her phone to the end of the bed. "I'm not a child anymore, mother. I know why I need these examinations. Dr. Huh wants to check how far I'm on the score. I know!" Maria looked at her daughter. "Don't be upset, Bada. It's the best for everyone."

"For everyone? Who's happy that I'm here? Just you!"

Bada had been fighting with her mother a lot the past weeks. When Bada told her about GROWING UP IN SEOUL's concert at the Rock at Hangang festival, Maria had immediately shook her head and had told Bada that she would never be able to go to a concert.

Not when she was this sick.

That evening Bada had slammed her door shut and started crying. She had to watch fancams from her favorites band performance on Twitter. The fansite HEEre's My Heart had uploaded beautiful pictures of Lee Heereum, which Bada immediately retweeted.

She then liked, retweeted and saved all pictures the official GUIS account had posted from the concert and felt even more sad. Why couldn't her mother let her see her favorite band at least once before she died?

"Bada."

Bada turned to look at her mother. "Let's stop fighting okay?", she asked. Mrs Song was as tired as Bada. Her whole life was built around her daughter and her needs. She just wanted to give Bada the safest last few years possible.

Maria didn't knew how long Bada had. She was afraid she would wake up one day and Bada would be gone. Just like that. That's why she wanted to keep her daughter as safe as possible. And all her life Bada had obeyed to her mothers wishes. Doing everything in order to make Song Maria happy.

But lately Bada seemed unhappy. And Maria knew.

"It's because of that stupid concert, right?", Maria asked, "You're rebelling because of that band, right?", she continued and Bada ignored her. She didn't want to talk about GUIS to her mother. She wouldn't understand.

"Bada, answer me!"

"First of all, they're not stupid. Second of all I don't want to talk to you about them."

Maria sighed. "Why won't you open up to me, Bada?" She looked at her daughter who was looking straight at the wall. Bada definitely didn't want to talk to her mother right now. "Bada?"

Before Bada could snap once more, the door of her hospital room opened and Dr. Huh Kana entered the room, followed by a nurse. The nurse immediately went over to Bada and started unplugging her from the machines. "Almost done, Bada" the nurse smiled and looked at the IV drop. "We just have to wait for this to run through." Bada nodded politely. No sign of her lashing out left.

Dr. Huh looked at the women. "So, we got the results from todays test and they look a lot better than last time" she spoke, looking through the file in her hands. "It seems like the new medicine is working better." Bada looked up. "What does that mean exactly? Am I allowed to join P.E. now?"

A little spark of hope ignited itself in Bada's chest. If the new medication would work better and make her feel fitter, maybe she could join Wonyoung and her classmates and even play basketball at lunch break!

Maybe her mother would allow her to see GUIS live one day.

"No."

The spark of hope died as fast as it came. Bada's smile fell. "The only thing these new medication is doing is prolonging the next step of the NYHA score." Dr. Huh looked at Bada and sighed. "There's no medication that could heal you, Bada. We talked about it before."

Talked about it, my ass, Bada thought and looked at Dr. Huh. The doctor had told Bada that there was no medication for her chronic heart insufficiency and Bada had to believe it or not. Bada wasn't a child anymore. She knew there was no medication. She knew she would die sooner or later.

Maria looked at her daughter. Her smile had completely vanished and her expression was empty. "Dr. Huh" she said, "may I have a word with you? Alone?" Dr. Huh looked at Mrs Song and nodded. "Of course" the twenty-nine year old cardiologist spoke.

The two women left the room and Bada was left with the nurse. The nurse gave the teenager a sad smile, while continuing to unplug the medical devices from Bada's body. Bada looked at her hands. She felt sad, but empty at the same time.

"How long do you think I have left?", she suddenly asked the nurse who lifted her head. "I'm not sure, Bada. Dr. Huh told you it's still very uncertain." Bada nodded. "I don't have the energy for all this bullshit anymore" she said and the nurse looked at her. "You're still young, Bada. There were people who lived with chronic heart insufficiency until they were mid-forty, mid-fifty."

Bada chuckled. "I don't think I'll live that long." She smiled sadly. "And to be honest, I don't wanna live that long anyways."

— ❤️‍🩹 —

Bada arrived back at school when most of the sports day activities were already over.

She walked into the classroom more depressed than ever. When she opened the door, their class president was currently standing in front of the class. His eyes went over to Bada and he smiled. "Your back" he greeted her and Bada gave him a tired smile.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be here and cheer on you guys" Bada said and walked past him to her seat. Wonyoung was happily waving at her. Bada walked past Jungwon's seat. The blue haired boy quickly turned around and looked at her, watching her greet her best friend with a tired smile.

"No problem, Bada. Your health is more important!", the class president spoke and continued his speech about the class's achievements during sports day. Bada quietly sat down and put her backpack on the side of her table.

"You look exhausted." Wonyoung looked at Bada. The still-seventeen year old looked at her best friend with a worried expression. "I'm pumped to the brim with medication" Bada confessed and shook her head. "Dr. Huh said the new medicine is working better" the Gemini said and quickly shook her head. "But they're not healing me. They're prolonging my life."

Bada rolled her eyes. "I've been fighting with my mother the whole time we were at the hospital. And guess what she did?" Bada threw her arms in the air. "She made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She thinks it's better to work on my mental health."

A snicker left Bada's lips and she rolled her eyes. She knew her illness was making her depressed, mad and unhappy. "What should a psychiatrist help? I'm dying anyways!" Wonyoung looked at her friend. "Your mother only wants the best for you, Bada."

Bada shook her head. "The best for me?", she rolled her eyes. "I don't know why she wants to prolong my life. I'm tired of this. I can't even see my—" The bell rang and Bada looked up. Recess was over. "Mr Son would never cancel history class. Not even on sports day" Wonyoung pouted and Bada nodded.

She leaned back in her chair and watched their class president go back to his chair.

Her eyes fell onto Yang Jungwon. The drummer had a bandana on his forehead and his blue hair was spiked upwards. She smiled. When she remembered the pictures of him at Rock at Hangang her heart did a leap.

Jungwon had looked gorgeous.

Bada had cried when she found out that Wonyoung and her friends from Beauty Academy had worked as GROWING UP IN SEOUL's hair and makeup stylists. Wonyoung had proudly showed her the pictures of her and Lee Heereum.

Bada had tried to be happy for her friend. But she was feeling a little bit jealous how the pretty and healthy Jang Wonyoung had been able to see and hang out with GUIS while she was stuck in her room.

Sometimes Bada felt jealous of Wonyoung. Wonyoung had her whole life ahead of her, while Bada was waiting for the day she would start to get bedridden and be unable to attend class anymore.

Bada quickly shook her head. She shouldn't be jealous of Wonyoung. Wonyoung was sacrificing every second to be with Bada, when she could have a normal teenage life. Bada should calm down and be happy for the people around her.

Mr Son walked into the room and straight to the front of the classroom.

"It's almost summer break" he said and smiled at the senior class in front of him. "After the summer break we're going to start preparing for your final exams. Some of you surely plan to visit interesting universities." He rolled his eyes and looked at Bada.

Song Bada was the only one who hadn't applied to any university yet.

Why bother studying, when she didn't know if she would live until then.

"So I want y'all to have the chance to fix your grades until then" he pushed his glasses up his nose, "we're making a partner project for this semester. You have time until June 2nd to prepare a power point presentation about one of the following in history relevant people."

He wrote down a few people on his blackboard. Bada's eyes were glued onto the blackboard as Mr Son wrote Diana, Princess of Wales. She looked at Wonyoung. "I want to speak about Princess Diana" she whispered and Wonyoung nodded.

"I hope Mr Son is fair this time" Wonyoung said and watched Mr Son walk over to the smartboard and opening up a name generator. "Before y'all decide who your partner and what your topic will be" he said with a smirk on his face, "we're going to pick this random generator for both of these."

Mr Son started generating pairs and their topics.

Wonyoung ended up being in a group with their class president. Their topic being Alexander The Great.

"Song Bada" Mr Son suddenly called and Bada looked up. She watched the wheel on the smart board twirl until it landed on a name. "Your partner is Yang Jungwon and your topic is—" Bada couldn't concentrate on what Mr Son was saying.

She looked over to the blue haired boy, who simply smiled at her. This wasn't true, right? Her and Jungwon? A pair for a project? This was crazy. Was fate going to give her as many chances with the pretty drummer before the world off'ed her?

— ❄︎ —

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠!

𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞.

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

—𝕤𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕗𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕞𝕪𝕝𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕠𝕡