Chapter 2: Crab & Job Hunting

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THREE YEARS EARLIER

WAAH! KYAAAAH! That thing's gross! Let's get outta here!

Crab Monster: Huuuh? Shouldn't you be running? Gurgle-blorge!(Laughter)

Salaryman: Sigh...

Crablante: Gurgle!(Laughter) Are you a new salaryman bored with company life? I transformed into Crablante after eating too much crab. I'm surprised you don't flee. Gurgleblorgle! I guess you wanna die. Well, do you?

Ex-salaryman: You're wrong about one thing. I'm not a salaryman. I'm unemployed. And I'm looking for a job. I just had an interview & failed miserably. I don't care about anything now. I don't even feel like running from you, Crablantre. So what're you gonna do if I don't?

Crablante: Gurgle-Blorgle!(Laughter) Like mine, your eyes are lifeless. Out of sympathy, I'll let you go. Besides, I'm hunting other prey right now. 

Ex-salaryman: ?

Crablante: Some brat with a cleft chin. I'm gonna rip him limb from limb. GURRR-GLEBA-BLORPLE!(Laughter)

Ex-salaryman: Whoa!

Kid: Huh? What are you looking at?

Crablante: 'A brat with a cleft chin... Rip him limb from limb...'

BABUMP

Ex-salaryman: Hey, kid. Did you do anything to tick off a crab monster?

Kid: Huh? He was asleep in the park, so I drew nipples on him with a marker.

Ex-salaryman: 'It's him all right! He still doesn't know what he's done. What should I do? There's time to hide him...but he isn't cute at all...& it's none of my business. Should I walk away?

Kid: ?

Ex-salaryman: ... 'Yeah... I mean, who cares?' Heh...

LOOM

Crablante: I...found you!!

WHSH

WHAM

Ex-salaryman: Wha...?! 'What am I doing?!'

Crablante: Hunh?

Ex-salaryman: He's after you, kid!! Run!!!

Kid: B... But...

Ex-salaryman: Don't worry about me, just go!!

Kid: But my soccer ball...

Ex-salaryman: Your ball?! Just get moving!! or I'll kill you!

Crablante: What's the big idea? Are you gonna try to save that brat?

Ex-salaryman: Come on, you don't want to commit murder over a childish prank, do you? think about it.

Crablante: Gurgle!(Laughter) I've already diced up several people! No one makes fun of my appearance! Glorgle!(Laughter) That brat drew nipples on me! With a permanent marker! With these claws, I can't even wipe it off with a towel! I can't let him get away with it!! If you interfere, I'll make it so that you'll never look for a job again!!

Ex-salaryman: Heh heh...

Crablante: ! Did you just laugh?

Ex-salaryman: Heh heh heh heh heh... Aaah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! I just remembered. you look like the villain in an anime I used to watch!

SMACK

FWIP

CRINGE

CLOMP CLOMP

Kid: Y... Yiiiiiiikes!

Crablante: Die.

KLONK

Ex-salaryman: Wait a second. With the birthrate so low, I can't let you kill that kid. & I remembered something else. I wanted to be a hero when I was little. Not a salaryman...but a hero who could send shameless villains like you flying...with one punch. 

FWSH

Ex-salaryman: I'm done looking for a job.

TADUM

Ex-salaryman: Bring it on!

Crablante: Some hero you are!

WHOK

WHAM

Crablante: You don't stand a chance! Gurgle-Blorgle!(Laughter)

SHIWP

Crablante: Huh? Gurglee-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGH!

YANNNK

Crablante: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

SPLURT

Ex-salaryman: Huff huf huff 'It's been three years since then. After training so hard that I went bald, I achieved overwhelming power & became the hero I dreamed of becoming. So why am I still not satisfied?'

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