Clara and I sit around the kitchen table of our hotel room. The morning was brighter than yesterday but my heart still felt the pain of the breakup between Andrew and I. It felt weird to be single. The ring still on my finger. I hadn't figured out if I was going to give it back to him or if I was just going to keep it and never wear it.

Most girls gave it back right?

I watched Clara as she scrolls through her phone chewing on the cereal in front of her. She scrolled, tapped, chucked and then took another bite. It was her daily routine.

"How are you feeling today?" She stopped for a moment asking as she continued to chew her food. I rolled my eyes looking towards the window. There wasn't much I could tell her, she had sat with me last night. Watched me until I fell asleep and then I assume went to her room to tuck herself into bed. She had taken care of me as if I was a child.

We ordered food in, watched the ocean from our balcony and talked about everything but boys. It had made me feel slightly better, but Andrews words still echoed in my mind. I was just like all the dumb brainless girls in the romance novels. I've found myself in a triangle and there was nothing I could do to solve this problem. At least I had tried. I broke of the marriage.

That was something I was going to have to live with for the rest of my life. I was always going to know that I ruined my first engagement. I would never get that back and a part of that really ate at me. I wanted to kiss Carter more, the way his lips danced with mine drove me wild but I wasn't sure I was ready to start anything new. Even though we technically already had. I wanted to scream out to the people below and tell them that love was for the birds and why did humans worry so much about it. But then I chuckled, my entire job was revolved around woman who had found love. Here I was wishing my life away begging for someone to show me how I was supposed to do it.

"It's whatever, though," I mumbled looking at the screen of my very own phone. It was drier than the desert. There was nothing, not a single notification. There wasn't a text from my mother like normal nor was there a message from Andrew to apologize for the night before. I felt horrible.

Why was I waiting for Andrew to apologize though? Like that would fix the situation and everything would just be fine again. There was no way anything like that was going to happen, I'm better of just getting over the whole thing and moving on with my life.

I felt the pang of guilt once again as I remembered that I would never get my first back. My first engagement. The excitement I felt when Andrew asked me to marry him at the Christmas party. Would that forever be a weird day for me? Would I eventually forget something that meant so much to me when it happened? I could feel the panic rising in my chest again.

"Erin, stop..." Clara looked at me, her hand gently placed on top of mine as she watched me self destruct. She always knew when to stop me before I hit rock bottom.

"I don't know how this will ever feel normal again," I paused for a moment, glancing towards the balcony once again. "It's a year of my life I've spent with someone and I'll never get that back, I'll never forget that. I don't know how someone just moves on from this," I could feel myself shaking but somehow Clara calmed me without even saying a word.

"It won't, because your normal will now change, that's a good thing. You weren't going to be happy with Andrew in the long run and I'm glad you finally got out of that, now you need to cheer up and let's continue on with our fun vacation. Heck let's even extend it, now you don't have to worry about your fiance getting mad at you," Clara shrugs swirling the cereal around in her bowl as she spoke. I looked at her. The ring stung against the skin on my finger. I had let everything slip away. She was right, I needed to get out and make the most of this trip or else it wouldn't be a very well spent vacation.

My phone started to buzz. My heart jumped into my throat as I immediately panic. Who would be calling me? I slowly glanced down at the phone to see the name I most regretted having in my phone in this very moment.

Carter was calling.

I placed my phone on the table staring at it until the screen went dark. How could I answer a call like that right now? Everything I've ever known as right the last year has gone to shit and now he is calling. What else could go wrong.

My phone started ringing again, he was calling a second time in a row. My heart started racing faster...I wondered if Carter remembered our commitment from high school. We would never let it ring more than three times on the third call. It was serious if we called that many times. I let the call go to voicemail once again and waited for him to call back.

I couldn't tell if I was going to answer, but I knew something inside me told me that if he did, I couldn't break that commitment.

Just like clockwork, Carter called again. My heart skipped as I held my phone in my hand listening to the first ring. It felt like it took forever to finish. Clara chattered in the background about how I just better answer it so he will leave us alone.

I knew he would if I didn't answer by the third ring. Soon the second ring started and I just felt it in my heart that I better not let this go on any longer. So I hit the accept button and held my phone up to my ear.

"Hello?" I muttered barely loud enough for Clara and I to hear.

"I knew you would answer," His voice seemed cheerful. I was jealous of that as I haven't felt cheerful in a while. I shook my head placing the phone on the table as I hit the speaker button. Holding my finger up to my lips I informed Clara to keep her trap shut.

I stayed silent though.

"Hey, I had a question for you," Carter started, but paused as if he was waiting for an answer. An answer he wasn't going to get and I think he sensed that. He took a deep breath before speaking once again.

"Can we talk? Like will you meet me in a couple of hours so we can figure out what happened?" I was dumbfounded. Why did we need to talk? The last time we tried to talk we nearly ruined everything...correction, we did ruin everything.

"No," I muttered almost quicker than the word could process. Clara smacks me sending me daggers as she jumps from her seat across from me. She swiped towards my phone as if she was going to take this into her own hands. I panicked, there was no way I was going to let her get this phone. Not with this phone call.

"She will be there!" Clara shouted as I quickly placed the phone on mute trying to push her away.

"You will, great that will be awesome! I'll text you where I want to meet so we can figure this out," The phone clicked as Carter hung up.

I couldn't tell if my heart was racing or if it had stopped. My nerves were so fried from yesterday that there was no telling what kind of emotions were going on inside me. I rushed towards my bedroom to hop in the shower. It was either that or kill Clara for putting me in this situation.

A few hours later.

I hopped out of the Uber. My hair was curled... Clara insisted, and the dress I was wearing was more fitted than the beach dresses I had opted for bringing... also because Clara insisted. It had been a battle that I simply did not have the energy to fight. My body so tired I felt like I could crawl in bed and sleep for a year without a second thought.

The place Carter had me meeting him seemed like a nice restaurant. Much better than the one he had proposed to Kylie at. My heart shivered at the thought of her. I wondered if she knew we were meeting tonight. Deciding not to worry about it, I have my own fish to fry I head into the eatery looking for the blonde hair boy I couldn't quite figure out.

He was waiting by the door when he swooped over to my side pulling me to the table he had for us. My head was spinning already and I hadn't even been here for five minutes. This night was going to be difficult.

I envied Clara as she was off getting her nails done as some spa that placed cucumbers over your eyes. Cursing her yet again under my breath I took my seat across from Carter. The waitress quickly rushes over filling my glass up with water before returning to fetch more.

"How are you?" Carter didn't seem like he was asking for small talk, it felt like he really was worried about how I was doing. He sat carefully leaned back in his chair, as if he leaned forward he would be too close to me. I shrugged. How could one answer such a question?

"Fine," I nodded my head. That was the answer everyone used so that was what I was going to go with. He shook his head.

"Don't give me that crap Erin, I know you better than that," That was neither here nor there, there was no reason for me to try and explain how I was feeling. My whole world had been turned upside down in a matter of a kiss.

"What do you expect from me?" I question. He shakes his head.

"We are here to talk about it aren't we?" He questions, his hand waving around him as if he was showing me the room.

"Yeah, but do you really want to jump into it before we even get our apps?" I was slightly annoyed by how quickly he was forcing the conversation to move. I wasn't ready to talk about it, I needed to warm up. I needed days to warm up to the idea of seeing him and talking was too much for me.

"Yes, I want to get it out of the way so we can start to talk about us," He mumbled looking down at the menu. I rolled my eyes, letting out a quick scoff before responding.

"What do you mean talk about us?" He took a deep breath.

"This didn't start how I wanted it to. Let's take a moment and just look over the menu," I nodded my head. Things were getting heated quickly and that wasn't normal for Carter and I. We hardly fought and the last time we did was over me picking Andrew over him. He had taken that option away from me now, there was no reason to be at each other's throats.

I couldn't focus on the menu though, and when the waitress asked me what I would like I just stared at Carter like I was a deer caught in headlights. He was quick to order the salmon for me. This warmed my heart as he remembered my go to meal if for when I panicked at restaurants.

I mentally thanked Carter though I wouldn't tell him that tonight. He had remembered things about me that only he would know from years ago. From the first year after high school. It'd been too long since we were really able to just be with one another.

"Have we both calmed down enough?" He questions, tapping his fist on the table as if it would really help calm him down. I knew it wouldn't.

Things I knew about Carter was he needed to talk, he needed to vent to get his feelings out. To function properly he had to talk about the situation until his jaw felt like falling off. This was one thing I always loved about him and one of the reasons we never fought. He had to talk, he shared his feelings, he didn't bottle them up and lock them away.

I nodded my head waiting for him to continue one.

"Okay..." He cleared his throat before taking a sip of water. "I told Kylie I couldn't marry her today, she honestly took it better than I expected and gave me the ring back. To prove this I will set it on the middle of the table," He did as he said, pulling the ring out of his pocket as he placed it gently in the center of the table. He glanced at my hand his eyes dancing over the diamond that was still there.

I pulled my hand off the table hiding it from him. My fingers dancing over the ring that I refused to take off. Something was still holding on to the idea of marrying Andrew though I knew that wasn't going to happen. I trembled at the thought of taking it off, what if I lost it? What if Andrew called me and told me he made a mistake, he was going to change? Would I go back to him? I shook my head sliding the ring off my finger holding it in my hand.

Carter shook his head at me. He knew i was hiding the ring. He knew I didn't want to let go of things, but he also knew just how to push me so that I would.

"Erin, if we are going to get serious about talking about how we feel and what is going on with us you need to place your ring on the table and tell me what happened with you and Andrew," He tapped the table in the empty spot next to his ring. I rolled my eyes finally giving in to what he was saying. I set the diamonds gently down as my heart felt like a weight was  being pulled off of it.

"Doesn't that feel better?" He questioned, leaning back to take another drink of his water. I nodded, I couldn't lie to him or myself anymore.

"What is the point?" I searched the eatery to see all the happy couples going about their days. They didn't know what was happening at our table and honestly I didn't either.

"What happened between you and Andrew?" Carter asks. I look at him confused. Why was he so sure something had happened between us? Maybe I never called to tell him? Maybe Andrew was okay with it and that was why I didn't want to take my ring off? There were too many things to question here but Carter seemed so sure about how he felt.

"How do you know I even talked to him?" I swirled the straw around in my glass of water before holding it up to my own lips and taking a small drink. The cool liquid soothing as it washes down my throat.

"I didn't, but now I do... What did he say?" Carter was so caught up in what had happened with Andrew that I was worried if I didn't tell him soon he would blow up.

But then the worry went away.

Carter had never blown up on me. He was always so patient with me, so loving, compassionate. He never once threaten to leave me or hurt me. Except he did leave, he always leaves and that was something I was going to have to figure out how to get over if we were ever going to get serious.

"He told me to get my things as soon as I get home because I wasn't welcome with him anymore," I mumbled. The words were hard to say and I felt like crying again.

Carter understood.

"Do you need help with that?" I shook my head. Why was Carter offering to help me pack my things. They were in New York and here was here, in California where he had an actual life and things he needed to do.

"You mean fly out to New York to help me pack my things at my ex fiance's house so that I can move back into an apartment that I already gave to Clara. I don't have anywhere to live. I have to get back to the shop, and move in with my mother or something.

"Yes that is what I mean," Carter seemed serious and I wasn't sure what to think about it. I decided not to answer as no answer would be better than fumbling over the awkward mess that would come out of my mouth.

"We can talk about that later, I'm willing to bet you are still here for a few days. Do you and Clara want to come to the carnival with my friend and I tomorrow? I have a hot date for her don't worry. I would really like to keep talking to you about things," Carter looked scared as if I was going to say no. Clara would kill me for two reasons. First reason being she gets a hot date and the second reason being I would be with Carter.

That's all she has ever wanted.

I shook my head.

"Fine, we will be there," I mumbled.

"Great I have a surprise for you," With that comment our food had arrived.