The water crashed over my skin like a dream. It's warm waves washing the stress away as I float on the surfboard. Our instructor sat in front of us carefully explaining to the students what we were going to do. I glanced back at the beach to see if Carter was still there waiting. He was.

Swallowing the lump in my throat I tried my best to not pay attention to him. He was going to stand there and watch and I was going to act as if he was just every other pedestrian walking by. I shook my head wishing Clara was down there to shoo him away for me. Unfortunately I had no clue where she was.

A wave slightly bigger than the others crashed over me nearly knocking me off my balance. My heart flutters in my chest as I bring my attention back to the teacher.

"You're going to paddle out to the wave and when you can feel it pulling you, you need to pop up onto your feet. Now remember these are attached to you so don't be afraid to fall. We are already wet, and your hair will look fresher once the salt does its job, I promise," He glanced at a few of the girls who were complaining about dunking their heads in the water earlier.

Our instructor had explained that the reason we did this was to get over the initial hit. When you are completely dry and falling into the water is a shock and people who don't pre-dunk their head in the water won't let their bodies do what it needs to do in fear of getting wet.

I thought this was a unique way to think about this. It was true. I had felt a little reluctant as well but then I saw Carter watching and it was something I could do to get away from him if only for a second. I wave my hand through the water letting it move with the flow of the ocean.

Our instructor begins speaking again but this time only briefly before he turns on his board informing us to follow him. We lean forward on our boards bringing our legs up onto the sticky surface before we all start paddling towards a larger set of waves.

I could feel my heart pounding. Maybe I wouldn't be able to stand up on the board. Maybe this was a mistake and I was going to hurt myself. I tried not to think about it as I was falling behind the others. I needed to catch up to not draw attention to myself.

The instructor spoke to us as we came up on our first wave. He talked us through it as we follow him voice. I turned around waiting for the water to take me with it and as soon as I felt that pull I quickly shifted to my knees. Not sure I would be able to stand up at this time.

I could feel my hands trembling but I knew I needed to at least try. As the board sits on the wave moving with the water as if they were one and the same. I slowly inched my way until I was standing up. The water was shaky causing my legs to tremble under the weight of my body but my mind was exploding with excitement.

First try and I had stood up. Everyone said this was the most difficult thing but first try I had done it. Maybe I needed to move to California and use this as my new job. Forget the dresses I wanted the waves. My heart broke for a moment though because I knew even though it was a joke it wasn't right. The dresses were my entire life.

I couldn't help but laugh at myself because here I was surfing for the very first time in my life and I couldn't stop thinking about the dress shop. My mind had no other route when in stress. The dress shop truly was my entire life.

I rode the wave until the surfboard begins to slow down and get slightly more wobbly. Before I dropped down to my knees and catching the bottom of the sand. I turned to look at the rest of the class as a few of them struggled to keep their balance as they rode the wave in as well. Was I supposed to start swimming back to catch another one or how did this work now that I was out here and the teacher was still in the water?

I watched as the rest of the student filtered their way to the beach before they started swimming back out. I followed behind making sure they didn't get too far ahead of me. The rest of the class zoomed by and before I knew it we were handing in our gear at the front desk.

After I finished handing all my stuff into the desk the lady waived me off after thanking me for signing up. I smiled informed her it was my pleasure and I had lots of fun. Heading out the front door I was trying to sneak away from Carter before he grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him.

"Hey, it's my turn now," He smiled down at me as he held me close to his chest. I couldn't tell if it was him that smelled like the sea breeze or if it was the fact that we were seconds from the ocean but Carter smelled amazing. I stare into his deep eyes as they flutter back and forth between mine. He always paid so much attention to everything.

"Fine," I mumbled as he lets go of my arm. He begins walking down the beach and I follow as we head towards one of the food shacks with tables out front. He pulls out a chair and I shake my head.

"Can we just enjoy the beach, you know go sit closer to the sand?" I point towards and empty spot as he looks at me confused. Quickly he nods his head and we walk towards that spot.

"So how has your trip been so far?" He questions, he seemed unsure of what to say. I laughed at the thought of this, for someone who chased me down wanting to talk he really had no clue what he wanted to talk about did he? I took a few more steps wondering what I should tell him. My trip hadn't been good, but it wasn't the worst trip in the world. I felt like I had cried more, felt more pain, and honestly not known what was going on in my life more on this trip than any other time in my life.

I was tired of this.

We took a seat in the sand and I begin digging my feet under it until I reached the cold stuff. The hot sun beating down on us. If I was getting one good thing out of this trip it was going to be a wicked nice tan. I looked at Carter as he fiddled with his hands. I knew he was annoyed that I hadn't answered his question yet, this as typical of him and nothing seemed to have changed over the few years. This warmed my heart because I didn't want him to change at all.

"This trip has been quite one roller coaster of emotions and I'm not sure how I feel about it," I started but wasn't sure I would be able to explain any more to him. He didn't need to know that my heart was broken about his engagement. He didn't need to know that I wasn't sure Andrew and I were getting back together or if we were separated either. I had no clue what was going on with anything in my life other than the shop. Unfortunately the shop wasn't here to save the day. I had taken this trip trying to get away from everything but it seems like I've just put myself in a situation where I had to actually deal with it all.

"I'm sorry you were there when I proposed," He paused for a moment, he looked like he needed to talk. His lips half open as she watched the water crash in, "I was too nervous to look around and see who was there. I should have paid more attention, what are the odds that I would see you while I was buying the ring and then again later in the evening when I actually popped the question," He shook his head kicking at the sand in front of us.

"I'm sorry I was there too," I didn't know what else to say, "Congrats though, that's really sweet," I felt the vile building up in my throat as soon as the words had come out. There was nothing sweet about it. He had completely ignored any and every sign about how awful his now fiance was. Kylie was selfish and everything Andrew didn't deserve. I wanted to smack her listening in on her conversation in the bathroom but I knew there was no point. How could I have known that she was going to marry my best friend?

"No, don't congratulate me," He shook his head once again. I was confused by his comment. Maybe he did know how horrible she was. "Erin, you are all I've ever wanted and it kills me to see you so happy with Andrew,"

Now it was my turn. My heart stung as he spoke. There was nothing I felt I could do to fix the situation. I needed to call Andrew. I needed to talk to him like I said I would.

"Give me one moment please," I jumped up from the sand wiping my butt off before heading to the shady spot. I pulled my phone out of my pocket before dialing Andrews number. Hopefully he would answer I really needed him to.

The first call went to voicemail but I decided to try again. The sudden urge of needing to talk to him washing over me as I sit and listen to the phone ring. Whispering into the mouthpiece begging for him to pick up. Finally he did.

"Erin, I'm so glad you called, why did you leave so quickly earlier?" I paused for a moment realizing the phone call with Andrew earlier had been cut short and I couldn't tell him it was because Carter was standing in front of me.

"I was taking a surf lesson and the class was heading out, I didn't want to get left behind," I fumbled over my words the nerves flowing through my body now. I could say I was slightly relieved though he had answered.

"I can't wait until you get home so I can talk to you all about it, will you come home tomorrow? I miss you and it seems like you have had your fun," I shook my head pulling the phone away from my ear for just a moment before placing it back. I needed more time in California. I wasn't sure why, but I just knew I did.

"Andrew I can't leave yet, Clara and I booked the hotel for a week and a half. I've only been here for a few days," I shook my head. I knew he was going to come back with a response about how money isn't an issue and I need to just come home. I decided to tell him he couldn't use that excuse before he even started speaking, "Don't you dare tell me money isn't an issue, I know it isn't but that isn't the problem. The problem is I wanted this time to relax. I've been stressed planning the wedding and I honestly haven't even known if it was still going to happen the last few days, do you want to give me an answer on that?" I didn't mean to get so serious, my mind seemed out of control at this point.

"Honey, why would you think we weren't still getting married?" He questions, his voice honestly seemed confused. This only confused me further since he had told me if I left on this trip he wanted nothing to do with me.

"You told me you wanted nothing to do with me if I left for California," I whined, my body trembling as if I was back out on the surfboard. I quickly took a seat, fearing that I was going to pass out. I felt like an idiot talking to Andrew about this while on the beach. I wished I could just let these things go and just have fun, deal with all of it when I get back but for some reason, whatever reason, I just couldn't do that.

"I was just angry that you had picked the trip over me," My jaw dropped.

"Angry doesn't give you the right to just kick me out and tell me that you never want to see me again. Andrew, what happens if I make you angry after we are married, will we be signing divorce papers at four o'clock snack? Am I just another thing on your schedule or am I something you actually want to put up with for the rest of your life? You take time time to think on that, I'm heading back to the beach, Clara is calling me. We will discuss this when I get home, in a week and a half," I hung up the phone. My anger building up in my chest as I tried to calm myself down before walking back to Carter. It felt awful lying to Andrew, but he would only freak out if he knew what was really happening here.

I didn't need another Andrew freak out.

He had become so controlling in the last few weeks and I had no clue why. Were the nerves of getting married getting to him? Had he realized what he had and to overcompensate on his lack of time to spend with me, he was just going to be very controlling to keep me by his side. If I never go out, then I guess I never meet anyone better than him right?

I put my phone away before heading back to sit next to Carter. My whole body felt numb after getting off the phone with Andrew. I needed to get things figured out soon or else I was going to stress myself into having an ulcer.

"What was that about?" Carter questions as I sit back down in the sad. I shook my head trying to come up with something to say. My hair still wet from surfing.

"Just my mother had called earlier and I wanted to call her back before I forgot," I muttered feeling the web of lies I was in growing larger and stickier. I knew I needed to stop with all the petty lies before I couldn't handle them anymore.

"Gotcha," Carter muttered, before leaning back balancing on his arms. He eyes watching the ocean which was better than them being so focused on me. It was comforting to sit next to him in silence. It was something I had missed when he disappeared last year. We could just be together and that was always fine for us.

"Why are you here?" I felt the words as they bubbled up in my mouth. They needed an escape and before I could fight them back they had. I shook my head in embarrassment. It sounded so harsh the way I had said it. I wanted to high five myself for being such an idiot but was sure that too would look stupid.

Carter turned to look at me but only for a moment before his eyes were back on the water.

"I don't know how to answer that, honestly it just felt right, like this is where I am supposed to be," He mumbled bringing his hands back around him as he sits up.

"Yeah, If I lived in California too, I would come to the beach and say it felt like the right place to be," I teased, my mind not thinking as my body takes over everything. He leaned closer to me turning his head to look at me.

"I meant with you," My heart sank as the words came out of his lips. Those lips I used to dream about but only got to taste last year. When I'm with Carter I'm reminded of how happy I had once been. How easy things were before all of this. Now I wonder why I chose Andrew in the first place.

Because he stuck around, he was reliable and he truly loved me.

But if he truly loved me then he would trust me and allow me to go to the beach with my best friend. I ponder on this thought for a moment before realizing I wasn't being fair to him either.

I would be angry if he had gone to the beach and met up with his ex.

Except that isn't what I had done. That's what life had put in front of me.

"How cute," I muttered trying to play it off as if it really meant nothing. But my heart was racing. Carter was saying things I had always wanted him to say.

"Do you really love her?" I question looking around. A few kids played with a Frisbee and a couple of dogs frolic through the water, but other than that it seemed like a pretty slow day on the beach. I was scared of what Carter's answer might be, would he tell me the truth?

"No," He muttered. It didn't take him long to answer but his answer opened up a floodgate of questions. Once I wasn't going to be able to ask at this time. He deserved better than that. I knew if he stuck around he would open up at his own speed. That was something I liked about Carter. I knew him.

Except I could never predict what he did next.