TASHA

"I swear I was this close to breaking Thomas' hand with his dumbass self trying to actually give excuses over that racist shit he did."

Everyone around the table shakes their heads in both disgust and disbelief. The events that have transpired in the last couple of days have truly left all of us baffled at the audacity that some people possess. The caucasity, some would say

To be honest, though, I'm over it. Not that I don't believe in justice or the fact that the culprits deserve punishment for their actions-I'm simply too tired to be angry. To think that black people go through worst shit than this on a daily basis adds more to my frustration, which is why I'm trying to disengage from what happened.

"You should have at least ruffed them up a little bit, Malik!" Kennedy exclaims disappointedly. "I wish I was there, someone would have gotten these hands."

Janelle, Nelson, and Malik laugh at Kennedy's words as I roll my eyes at her and chew away at my stale pepperoni pizza. Even though my friends are not supposed to be here this lunch period, because of the racist shit Thomas and Henry pulled, teachers have been cutting slack on me and my friends by allowing them to change their schedules a bit.

"No, he shouldn't have hurt them, Kennedy. Guys, seriously can we talk about something else? Steven will be here soon and y'all know how he'll get," I chime in, earning blank looks from all of them.

Janelle, totally ignoring me as always, keeps talking about the darn subject, "Yo, but the craziest part about what went down is that they really were pressed over basketball...like, what?!"

Nelson also speaks up, "Right, and to think that they actually thought that reasoning was not twisted. Goes to show how racism is so ingrained in the fabric of Crest Bay."

I sigh deeply, giving up on changing the topic of the conversation and just resort to eating away at my disappointing meal.

"That's what I'm saying, man! It's like we can't just have a civil conflict without black people being insulted for simply being black." Malik is clearly frustrated, which makes me feel as though he has experienced many scenarios as he's just described.

"And," Kennedy states pointedly, "the gag is that it isn't even Tasha's fault that Steven hasn't been on his best game. Yet instead of blaming or insulting him which is their right, they attack his black girlfriend. Ain't that crazy?"

A silence falls upon our table as I continue chewing on my tasteless food, hoping with everything in me that the lines at the restroom hold Steven for a while. This conversation would definitely agitate him, especially if he were to find out the twisted reason why his teammates wrote obscenities on my locker.

Suddenly, I panic. "Does he know?!"

No one answers me so I ask again, "Please someone tell me that Steven doesn't know why those two wrote that shit."

Since I get no answer, I'm now in a full-blown panic. He can't know. Steven for some stupid reason already seems to believe that I don't want him as much as I claim I do, meaning that he's anxious about showing me that being with him would always be bliss.

Of course, I've been attempting to show him in every way possible that my love for him won't sway due to life's stressors-as long as he's faithful to our relationship, I'll always love him.

To be completely honest, it breaks my heart to notice that he actually doubts that I love him. Because I can't help but to blame myself for indirectly toying with him when I kept him in the friend zone yet sort of functioned as his girlfriend.

Malik finally speaks up, "I'm sorry. He knows."

I cringe. "How?"

Malik laughs almost bitterly. "Have you met, Steven? He would kill for you, and I don't even mean that figuratively. Of course, he searched for some form of an answer and he got what he was looking for. He was so damn pissed during Gov, everyone in the class was scared he would explode any second."

I stare at Malik in disbelief. "So is he okay now? When he left for the bathroom he seemed calm."

Malik shrugs and pops a french fry in his mouth. "He's probably keeping his cool so you don't worry. But I don't think he's calm."

I'm very close to kicking Malik where the sun doesn't shine but I know that Kennedy wouldn't let me live if I did that, so I simply give him a deadly stare. "Really? So no one had the decency to tell me?"

They all look away from me and just shrug.

"He's obviously trying to keep you out of it as you want. What's the big deal?"

I turn my gaze to Kennedy. "The big deal is that he's always trying to deal with shit that concerns me by himself as if I'll leave him at the sight of trouble. I kinda feel like he can't trust me."

Silence washes over us as everyone takes in what I've said. I guess I have never articulated those feelings to any of them, so they might be surprised to hear that. But before we can continue the conversation, the loud chattering from students in the cafeteria gains our attention.

Trying to understand what's going on, we overhear one student yelling excitedly as he's rushing toward the exit with another kid, "They're definitely gonna fight, man! Let's go see!"

Without even hearing the names of who they're talking about, I just know. We all stare at each other, almost too scared to move and find out the inevitable truth.

After a moment, we all stand up simultaneously and rush out of the cafeteria, hoping that nothing has happened before we can get there.

"Imma need y'all to explain it to me, man. Right fucking now 'cause I'm having difficulty fully understanding." My heart skips as I hear Steven's voice and I internally cringe.

Please, Lord. Don't let Steven hurt someone.

"Steven!" I call out, annoyed at the fact that he's not letting this shit go.

I know he hears me because everyone standing around him in the hallway turns to look at me, but he simply ignores me, still standing menacingly in front of Henry. Thomas is nowhere to be found and I assume he's in class or hiding somewhere.

I grow even angrier at Steven by the minute but I stand back, hoping that things won't escalate to a physical brawl. Looking at Henry, I'm not sure if that is the case. He looks pissed as well, probably tired of being called out the past few days. Not that he doesn't deserve it, but I wouldn't be surprised if he were to push Steven away at the very moment.

"Ok, I'm gonna get closer to him and stop this shit before they suspend his ass," Malik tells us, moving close to Steven.

"Yeah, I'll help too," Nelson agrees with Malik and moves through the crowd.

I'm relieved to hear Malik and Nelson's words, knowing how Crest Bay doesn't play about physical violence, they would legit suspend Steven real quick if anything was to pop off.

"Man, can you fucking stop now?" I tense up as Thomas speaks up, hushing down the excited crowd. "We apologize to her and have received our punishment, it's fucking over Steven. Drop it."

"Fuck no it's not over! I still haven't told me to my face why y'all did that shit to my girl's locker. I'm gonna need you to face me and spell it out." Malik and Nelson stand on each side of him, lowkey trying to pull him away from the darned conversation but not completely dragging him away yet.

Thomas laughs bitterly, which makes Steven even more annoyed. "Man, you still don't get it? I know that you see how she's been a distraction to you, you must know. Even coach told you."

I swear the hallway is the quietest it has ever been. Where the heck are the teachers when you need them? I'm telling you, they are always around every corner when you're trying to evade them but as soon as you need them, they disappear.

Steven's voice cuts through the silence, "So it's true, huh? The what y'all pulled was actually 'cause of this shit you just said?"

Thomas sighs, indicating that he's done with the conversation. "Look, Steven. It doesn't even matter anymore. Henry and I have apologized and have lost our spot on the fucking team, you can stop coming at us now. I really don't want to have to get my dad on this."

Malik and Nelson glare at Thomas yet urge Steven away. "C'mon man, let's get outta here."

Steven finally listens to them, shaking his head in disgust. "If you ever as much as look in her direction ever again. Man. I'm sure you know I'm not playing. And tell your friends too." he leaves the threat hanging before turning away from Thomas.

Despite the fact that I understand his need to protect me and stand up for me, I can't help being embarrassed by the public display and disappointed that he wouldn't listen to me when I told him to simply let this shit go. I understand that he wants to fix it but I'm hurt that he doesn't see that he's making things worse by fixating on them.

I cross my arms, a bit self-conscious when the crowd starts dissipating and many of them stare at me as they walk back to the cafeteria.

Kennedy squeezes my shoulder and my sister pats my arm in support.

"Are you okay?" they both ask me, noticing my stiff body language.

I shake my head as I make eye contact with Steven who's walking toward us with Malik and Nelson seemingly talking his ear off. I glare at him and I see honest confusion in his eyes.

So, he really doesn't get it, does he?

"I wanna get out of here," I suddenly state.

Janelle and Kennedy share a look before quickly nodding, understanding that I need space away from him right now.

"I'll try my best to hold him back. Take her home, Kennedy."

My best friend nods and takes my hand in her own as we walk toward her car with haste. I don't even care that all my possessions except my phone are in the cafeteria because I know Janelle will bring them home later.

"Thankfully, I brought my car keys and wallet. I guess I just knew you would need me to make an escape, huh?"

I chuckle at Kennedy's statement which keeps me from looking behind me and probably breakdown at the hurt I imagine is displayed in Steven's eyes.

...

CONTINUED IN THE NEXT PART