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ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪx

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As her lips inched closer to mine, I began to panic.

Is this... my first kiss?

My breath quickened, and my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.

I pushed her off of me from my panic and stood up quickly.

"E-Excuse me!!" I stuttered, running from the hall without looking back, my face hot as a kitchen stove.

I didn't hear a word from her but didn't even bother to stop.

I ran through the palace gardens, tripping over several times and getting myself tangled in thorn shrubs.

Even as I felt warm blood trickle down my cheek, I didn't care.

I ran and ran, not stopping for anything.

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❝ℓιттℓє ∂ι∂ нє кησω, нє мα∂є тнє вєѕт мιѕтαкє σƒ нιѕ ℓιƒє...❞

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I reached my room at the top of the palace and exhaustedly stepped inside, limping from the repeated falls and trips.

I... I give up.

I limped to the bathroom and looked at my mess of a face in the reflection of the mirror.

There was a long cut on my forehead from the rose bush that I got tangled in, and whipped cream from the dessert thrown stained my shirt.

Not to mention my face was a bloodied mess, but let's not dwell in that territory.

I slowly stepped into the shower with my clothes still on and stood under the cold rain, the same dead expression I've grown used to all these years glued to my face.

What happened to me?

I wasn't myself at all back there...

Actually...

I haven't been myself for a while, either...

Why was I acting differently..?

I wasn't normal...

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❝ηαινє αѕ α cнιℓ∂, нє яєтυяηѕ σηє ℓαѕт тιмє тσ тнє мσησтσηє ωσяℓ∂ нє σηcє ℓσνє∂.❞

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After putting on a spare set of clothes and my jacket, I bandage my forehead and collapse on the bed.

What am I doing here?

Why am I here?

The events that unfolded earlier in the day flood back to my head and I take a glance at the alarm clock beside the bed.

１０：３２ ＰＭ

It's too late already.

I was supposed to see Grace at her office, but...

I'm just going to go apologize to Serena, then...

then...

I'll leave.

I'm just a problem.

And what always happens to problems?

They disappear.

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I run around the palace, asking anyone that came within sight where Serena was.

Finally, as I was about to give up on the search, I heard a muffled sob coming from the hallway across from my room.

My dead expression slightly softened.

The door to Serena's room was opened ajar, and I could hear her sobs from inside the dark room.

I gently knocked on the door.

"...W-Who is it?"

"...It's me,"

A moment of silence took over before she spoke.

"Just leave me alone,"

Those words hit me hard for some strange reason, but I shook them off.

I opened the door and walked in to see her bundled up in a blanket, her back facing me.

I slowly walked over to her and bowed my head.

"...I'm sorry,"

She suddenly turned around with an expression on her face of worry.

"What are you apologizing for, Ash? Everything that happened back there was my fault," She said, looking down towards her pink bedsheet.

I shake my head.

"I'm sorry... All of this, everything that happened was my fault. I'm sorry for being so stupid!" I yell, tears welling up in my eyes.

Don't cry.

Please, not now...

Before she could say anything, I start speaking again.

"I'm always being a problem! I'm sorry!!" I say, turning my back on her and running away once again.

What are these emotions I'm suddenly feeling?

Why am I feeling these emotions now out of all the times I could have felt them?

Why is my stomach fluttering so often now, my heart beating a million times a second?

Why..?

Even as I heard the light footsteps behind me in pursuit, the tears didn't go away.

Even as I heard her pleas for me to come back, the tears didn't go away.

Even as I ran out of the palace, the tears didn't go away.

Even as I fell off the palace bridge and into the depths of the icy cold water below...

Even as I slowly sunk to the bottom of the lake...

As I my eyes began to close shut, I suddenly recall all the memories I shared with her.

I hate emotions and bonds between people...

The times we spent walking down the peaceful university campus...

To the times she really made me smile.

But yet I'm still clinging onto them.

Sure...

It's because I don't have anything left.

Without even a strand of it...

Then I'll be truly empty...

There would be only an unpleasant echo...

As I sink to the bottom, I hear a faint splash and a silhouette glides towards me from the surface above.

I've always seen everything in black and white.

As my friendships.

As my past.

As the figure approaches my still body, I'm suddenly able to see the moonlight from above, striking us through the water.

As my weak eyes gaze back over to the silhouette, I notice for the first time her stunning cerulean eyes.

Have they always sparkled so brightly?

I start to notice her features I've never noticed before.

The golden shade of her hair, reflected by the moonlight to glow an alluring amber...

I've never really paid attention to her, have I?

I know I have before, but-

She's...

Beautiful.

It's like a scene from a movie...

As my eyelids began to dull, I wonder over one last thought before I start to lose grip on staying conscious.

Is this it..?

Am I going to die?

The moment my body hits the bottom of the lake, I come to a decision.

For the first time in years...

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid to die.

I  feel a hand grip onto my wrist and pull me upwards from the depth of the water.

No.

I'm alive.

I'm still right here and alive, aren't I?

And yet I've forgotten...

To never give up 'til the very end.

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ᴇɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪx

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Author's Note

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Whew! *wipes off a sweat*

I finally finished this chapter.

Took years, right?

I encountered a writers' block when I was halfway through this chapter haha.

I'm sorry if it seems rushed, haha.

I just tried my best to get this chapter out as soon as I could.

Ughh, I hope the next chapter doesn't take as long and as rushed as this one did.

But, then again I have no clue.

But anyways I hoped you all enjoyed! c:

Buh baiiii!

- Squash

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