I woke to Jasper's muffled voice outside of my bedroom, quiet but full of intensity. I don't remember how we made it to bed at all, considering the last thing I remember after we opened another bottle of wine was straddling Jasper on the chaise with the falling snow in our backdrop.

"I woke you," he mumbled regretfully as he entered the room. "I'm so sorry, Rose."

"It's fine." I blinked, forcing myself to accept the light glowing from his cell phone. "What's going on?"

"It's Eddie. Something with one of my contracts. Nothing you need to worry about though."

"At," I reached for his phone once he was back on his old side of the bed, "three in the morning?"

"That's what we pay him for."

I flopped my head against the pillow and turned again to face Jasper. His lean, sculpted body was bare but for his dark gray boxers as he sat with his left leg folded on the mattress and his right heel atop the protruding box-spring. I greedily studied each curve of his muscles, remembering the delectable flavor from hours before.

"Go back to sleep. We'll get breakfast in the morning," I told him, placing a hand on his knee. He was so warm. His posture straightened and his fingers combed through my hair, placing some of the mess behind my left ear as I studied him.

"As friends," he interjected, still smiling.

"Best friends." I smirked, closing my eyes in response to the tickling sensation of his fingers along my face. He leaned forward to kiss me, pressing his lips against my forehead. The bed shifted under his weight as he settled onto the mattress, and I quickly fell asleep tucked against his side.

***

I met Gretchen at her favorite restaurant for lunch, still humming from a night with Jasper. In typical form, I was fifteen minutes late. It didn't help that it was due to my long shower...with Jasper.

"Hey," she scolded as we hugged. "You're late. What happened?"

"I'm sorry, Gretch. It's a long story."

"Were you up late last night crying over Jasper?" Yes, but not in the depressing way you think.

"No." I laughed. "I wasn't."

"What. Happened." Her stare was scrutinizing as she cautiously glared at me.

I lifted a menu from the center of the table and quickly scanned the drink list. Sure, I had several glasses last night, but I worked those off and I needed something as a buffer to the shit storm I knew I would get from my best friend if I told her about Jasper. Thankfully, the waitress approached before I needed to spill.

"She already ordered a mimosa for you, ma'am," the server placed a sparkling glass on the table, "but can I get you anything else?"

"Lime margarita over ice, extra salt." I smiled at the young woman, who left once she had Gretchen's second drink order.

Gretchen slapped my arm in frustration, the metal bangles on her wrist shaking with her aggravated gesture. "Don't think I won't remember what you're going to tell me because this is my third bloody of the morning," she whined. "I need to know."

"Well," I paused, thinking of how to best explain that my depressing night took a very happy turn. "I planned on drinking alone, you know, just me and the snow—"

"Jesus, Rose." She covered her mouth. "You slept with Jasper."

"What the hell?"

"This is the same look you had and, in fact, you had the same corny and ridiculous beginning to your story the first time you slept together. What were you thinking? Do you remember that you two separated? I repeat, you two are no longer married."

"I remember."

"Did you call him over because you were lonely? You're going to kill him. You know how hung up he is on you." Gretchen shook her head while sipping the remnants of her drink and my heart sank.

I snapped. "It wasn't like that at all. And you know I'll always love him, Gretchen. We just...we weren't us and we didn't...there wasn't time to figure out who we were anymore."

"But now we are a couple of exes sleeping together to celebrate their separation." Gretchen greedily grabbed her bloody Mary from the waitress, slamming it down her throat before continuing. "I feel so terrible for Jasper."

"Jasper? He's fine. He is a grown up and makes his own decisions."

"Shit," Gretchen groaned, shaking her head. "I'm sorry. Are you okay? Tell me how it ended."

"It was really beautiful. Like nothing happened, as if we were new again." I shrugged, trying to quell the pound in my chest.

"It's okay to admit the separation was a mistake," she murmured. "Nobody would judge you."

I looked at Gretchen, not sure if I felt angry at her or me...or even Jasper. It wasn't judgment from others I worried about, but him, and this lunch conversation had me reeling. I tried to wave it off, telling her it was just sex, that I thought we held each other back and that's why we separated. But it still tasted sour against my lips.

I waved my hands defensively. "Can we just order? I'm starving."

I rolled my eyes, hoping for a second to feel how it ended. "He spent the night."

"In your bed?"

"Yes. In our bed. My bed. We ate breakfast this morning, just like you and I are having lunch now, and he went home. I'll see him at work on Tuesday because he's in meetings on Mondays, and that will be that. It was a one-time thing."

"I see." She adjusted her short, blond ponytail. "Well, I'm jealous because I spent the night with my obese, diabetic cat."

"Harvey's a love bug." I squeezed her wrist. "I'm sure it was a wonderful night."

***

I decided to walk home along Michigan Avenue after brunch with Gretchen, welcoming the cold air against my tingling cheeks. There was plenty of time to consider the night before, having memorized each curve of Jasper's muscles, the way my skin responded to his tongue, how horrible I felt for breaking his heart any further. Instinctively, I reached with my fingers to twirl my wedding rings, startled with the oppressing vacancy on my left finger.

I needed something gaudy and gorgeous to cover the emptiness on my left hand so I walked toward one of the jewelry stores scattered between excessively expensive stores along the Magnificent Mile. Nothing in the sparkling glass cases screamed at me so I just went home to my empty house and stared at the lake in silence.

After cleaning my kitchen from the prior night, and morning's, activities I carried my laptop to my comfortable spot on the chaise in the living room. I looked over work e-mails, reviewed some basic contract details in anticipation of Monday, and checked the time. I was in Jasper's oversized, leftover, t-shirt and a pair of leggings while he was at Drew's, meeting his likely-second-wife at Drew's set-up dinner.

I hoped whoever Drew was trying to hook Jasper up with would be a homely shrew. I'm terrible. It was me who had the problems, the issues, and the inability to settle into something comfortable and safe. I needed to grow and I pushed Jasper, but I couldn't find my own drive. I tried not to spend the night thinking of the unattractive little mouse Drew was trying to set Jasper up with, and who was lucky to share Jasper's gorgeous smile and destructive laugh while I was home alone.