Xander awoke with the sun high in the bright blue of the sky. Despite the awful hangover infiltrating his mind, "Walking on Sunshine" was playing on the forefront. He imagined that he was in a romcom montage of the protagonist the morning after an amazing date and a goodnight kiss.

As he reminisced about the night before, he realized that he didn't remember a lot. He didn't remember how he got into bed, or how he said goodnight to Kaya, or even how much he drank.

Shit.

That must've been it. He just drank so much he blacked out.

The last thing he remembered was Truth or Dare. After that, it was just a time skip to present day.

As Xander was shamelessly dancing to the song playing on his stereo in just pajama bottoms and a toothbrush as a microphone, he heard the weak knock outside his doors.

He opened the door and the music faded into white noise, along with his smile. Standing in front of him was the most annoying pack elder on his council. Goddess, he hated this guy.

Martin was such a pain in his ass. He was so stubborn and such a hard head who always gave him shit about morals.

Morals. As if he had any.

"I just wanted to walk with you to the meeting." He said judgmentally staring at the toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and the laid back position he was in leaning against the door.

Again. Martin was a pain in the ass.

Why the fuck did he need a babysitter? He was an adult who could look out for himself. He literally burned packs to the ground. It was sad how he couldn't kill him off or something.

Unfortunately, the pack did not tolerate unlawful killing.

How disappointing, Xander frowned.

Xander awkwardly closed the door in Martin's face as he finished brushing his teeth and quickly changed into a white dress shirt and black slacks. He slipped into a pair of loafers before opening the door and leaving waiting for Martin to trail behind him.

The walk to the meeting room was extremely awkward. Martin kept up Xander's pace a breath behind him, but still too close for comfort. The pounding headache throbbing in the front of his mind was not helping either.

As Alpha, he was supposed to show the elders respect, which he did, but it was hard. How could he respect people who didn't respect him? However, he knew that if he didn't respect the elders, he would end up a rogue again.

Elders had the ability to nominate another into the position of alpha (which he suspected Martin was trying to do) and were able to completely challenge his every word. Elders were the only thing that kept his power in check, which was not good for him.

"How has your soulmate been adjusting back to pac life. Since she's human, obviously, it must've been hard. Especially since that kidnapping. It was a relief she was rescued!" Of course. Martin just had to bring up what happened to her. And on top of that talk about something that he hadn't even gotten a chance to talk with Kaya about.

What a fucking breech of privacy.

"She's been fine." He said through gritted teeth.

After that, the only thing they heard was the low humming of vents between the walls.

Xander was too preoccupied on trying to tame the harsh headache before he flipped. He wished his werewolf metabolism helped with this, but this was his fault. He should not have taken so much vodka. How many shots did he have? 100?

The meeting room was undoubtedly the most glorious room in this mansion. When Xander first took over, the first thing he did was remodel this room to make it look as glamorous as possible. It showed prestige and honor to intimidate other packs and brag in their face saying "Hey I'm better than you. Listen to me, you fucking bitch."

"Good morning, Alpha." One of the elders addressed him.

He was a burly old man, with peppery hair sticking out amongst his dark brown hair. Despite the wisdom and experience depicted along the lines of his face, he was one of the stupidest people here.

The last thing he had suggested was killing off all of the weak pack members in favor of stronger recruits. What a fucking dumbass.

He clearly had no strategy if he really wanted Xander to murder everyone. The entire pack would've turned on him.

Martin took a seat near the corner of the room, leaning his head against the golden embellishments behind him.

"Good morning, elders." Xander nodded towards them, a sign of respect to the people he was supposed to listen to. "Let's get down to the first order of business."

An hour and a half later, Xander was finally out. Throughout the entire meeting, he was doing his best to remember what happened last night. Any memory of his mate was worth remembering.

It shocked him how wild he must've acted around his mate. How could he have even submitted to normal human vices, as measly and small as a little clear liquid.

The next thing on his agenda was his favorite: torture.

The ancient door squeaked open in protest, scaring the beings he kept in cages.

Who would I like to play with today?

Xander walked towards the end of the row that held a young werewolf suffering under the weight of heavy silver chains that wrapped around his wrists and neck.

He deserved it.

This is what trying to escape got people.

He gestured to the guard to open the cage and place his tools along the moldy sheet of the bed.

The guard entered first, tying the man's chains to the two rings at the top of the tiny cell.

Xander loved this. The scent of mildew and dirt and filth and blood.

He loved listening to the screams of pain that the silver eased from their mouths.

"Good morning, Jonathan." His smile showed all of his pearly teeth, resembling a cheshire cat...but more creepy.

"Please. I already told you. I don't know anything."

The poor boy. He had only been here a week and he was already begging.

How sad. Xander thought with a smile.

He grabbed a knife. He needed to warm up first.

The knife somehow found its way into a little crevice between his ribs. Oh dear. How on earth did that happen?

The soft flesh gripping the knife was delicious. The blood being absorbed into his tattered clothes looked absolutely divine. The best part though, was the little whimpers of the man. He didn't even have the energy to let out a scream.

The pleasure this gave him was unmeasurable and incomparable. Nothing could make him feel like this.

The sheer adrenaline that coursed through his veins. The delight of having the power to end his life with a twist of his knife. In this damp little basement, Xander had the power to do whatever he wanted to the people who tried to harm him. And power was pleasure.

As Xander turned around to ponder which torture devie he would try out next, he suddenly heard the harsh snap of metal chains.

He heard the knife before he felt it. The scream of the knife being pulled out of the man's body and then held against his throat. The young man's blood dripped down Xander's throat in a necklace of ruby jewels.

He felt a strange sense of deja vu. Like someone else once had a knife against his throat.

But it didn't matter, because Xander grabbed a syringe of some drug he couldn't pronounce and stabbed it into the man's leg.

The man suddenly let go, instead crawling into a ball of paranoia and fear.

Unfortunately, this would have to do for today. "You're no fun," He muttered disappointed.

Mental torture was not really his favorite. It didn't get his hands dirty and bloody. It was no fun just watching.

Whatever, he thought. It was time to check on his mate. If anything, that would be the only thing that could cheer her up.

Following the light scent of bonfire rose, he found Kaya in the garden, with shadows of golden sunlight spotting her face, like a thousand tiny drops of sunlight that were attracted to her...and only her.

She was lost in thought. Like she was having a conversation inside her head.

Perhaps she was lost in her thoughts.

Suddenly, she jumped up and glared at him. It scared him a bit. How could someone so gentle and innocent look like a murderer when provoked?

"Good morning," She smiled sweetly, making him forget all the messy thoughts swirling in his brain. All that was left was her.

How was her day? How did she feel? Was she okay?

All these questions. All of these potential conversation starters. And yet, nothing came out of his mouth. It was like his vocal chords had chosen to shut down in favor of letting his eyes admire her beauty.

"I missed you." She pouted, accentuating her already plump lips and making her doe eyes wider.

"I missed you too." He sat down next to her, underneath the canopy of the cool shade. It felt warm next to her and his heart squeezed in happiness.

All he wanted to do was victory dance.

"By the way, do you remember anything from last night?"

Her body stiffened and he heard her heartbeat slightly quicken.

"Well. You got a bit drunk. And really reckless, but you kinda just passed out...so I brought you back to your room." She spoke calmly, like she was talking to a child. "You're really heavy." She let a hint of a playful smile escape and the fact that Xander caught it made his heart do an entire gymnastics routine.

"You were a bit scary, but it's okay. I knew you wouldn't hurt me." She covered his hand with hers and in that moment, Xander forgot about everything else except for the electric ripples that spread from his hand to the rest of his body.

In this moment, he felt so happy that he forgot the guilt. How was this possible that she understood him and knew the exact words to calm his soul. However, underneath all of this pure joy was his guilt. How could he have become so reckless that he forgot how to control his emotions? How could he scare his mate like that?

They sat here like this for a long time, talking about miniscule things like the weather and the plants and the knowledge they collected. Despite all of these boring conversation topics, there was never a pause in their discussion and the topics and words kept effortlessly flowing out their smiling mouths.

By the end of the many hours they spent together hidden from the sun, Xander realized that he would go to the ends of the world for Kaya. To hear her laugh and gaze at her smiling eyes again, he would sacrifice anything. Even his own life. 

***

This whole chapter was all over the place. I apologize. I was struggling through writer's block. 

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