Tatum's POV:

As the sun begins to set on the evening sky, I hold the two flower lanterns in my hands. A big one for Brandon and the little one for our child. I have laced it together with a silver ribbon, so that it wouldn't float away from each other while floating on the water.

"Are you going to write anything on them?" Dad asks and rests a hand on my shoulder.

"No. There are no words needed. It's all in the meaning." I say as a tear slip down my cheek.

I asked everyone to be here. My parents, Toby, Benjamin, Sapphire, Stacey and Samuel.

I go down onto my knees.

"Benjamin." I gesture for him to do it with me. Brandon was his son, his only child. This is the least I can do.

He kneels down next to me and gives me a quick smile. He places each hand under one edge of the lanterns with mine under the opposite side.

I let out a heavy breath and we let the lanterns float above the water.

Soon the water is filled with many lanterns that holds messages, dreams, hopes and love. Our lanterns soon join the rest as they float further into the distance.

"It's so beautiful." I say admiring the beauty of thousands of lanterns glistening above the water.

Benjamin places a hand on my back and says," It's a magical night."

"They'll be able to rest in peace now."

I nod and wipe my tears away.

Benjamin gets up and gives me a hand. I dust myself off from the grass I just sat on. Everyone looks at me intently, waiting to see my reaction.

I give them a bright smile and ask, "Who's hungry?"

They all let out a drawn out breath.

"Are you okay?" My dad asks and I nod and smile.

"Yes. From here on out everything will be okay. I'm okay and someday I might even be happy again." I say and everyone delves into a group hug, surrounding me from all sides.

"I love you all, but I can't breathe."

...

The next morning I went to the cemetery to visit Brandon and our baby's burial ground.

I place the bouquets of dalia flowers on the platforms. I sit down on the brick platform surrounding Brandon's grave.

"You're so close ,yet so far." I sigh.

"I miss you so much, but I won't give up. I used the money that you left for me and gave it to different charity houses who needed it. It made me feel good to put a smile on their faces. I told those kids about you too. I told them a story about a great man that once lived and lived for the happiness of others. I told them that there will be hope no matter what happens. You taught me that Brandon. I love you so much. Both of you." I say and head on back home. I think I just needed that, especially before what I have to face next. I'll be going to see a psychologist and I know for a fact that she'll want me to speak about that gruesome night.

I pull up to my parents house and take a deep breath before heading in. Everything still feels a bit gloomy. I think I won't ever be at peace unless that monster pays gravely for what he has done. The mere thought of him pesters me.

"Where were you?!" Mom asks angrily and I take a step back.

"I was just out. What's wrong?" I ask confused.

"Oh sweetheart here you are." Dad steps into the entrance hallway and hugs me.

"We were worried about you. We thought something bad happened." Dad says.

"I'm okay dad. I just went to visit Brandon." I say and pull from the hug.

"Don't you ever do that again!" Mom scolds.

"I'm sorry I just-"

"No no. Stop! You can't just do as you please." She yells and I don't understand why she's so angry.

"Alina it's okay. She's here." Dad says and she opens her mouth so say something, but just storms off.

"What's wrong with mom?"

"She was just worried." Dad says brushing it off.

"Okay. Well I'll be upstairs. I'll take a nap before my appointment with doctor Collins."

"Okay then."

I head upstairs into my old bedroom. I crawl into my bed and curl up under the covers. Not too long, darkness consumed my vision.

...

"I know that it'll be hard but this is the first step you need to take in order for you to make peace with everything." Doctor Collins says.

"Let's just start with the beginning. You don't have to tell me everything now. We are going step by step." She says.

I take in a deep breath and let it out gradually.

...

It actually felt good letting that out. I've never told anyone what happened. It's like I kept what happened locked inside a box with my heart and it was attacking my heart constantly. Now it feels like that box is starting to open up and the memories of that night is hurting less.

"You can stop if you want to."

"No it's okay. I feel like I can continue." I say and she nods.

"Just before I could hit him with the vase, a gunshot went off. I then hit him with the vase and he fell to the ground. What I didn't know was that the bullet hit Brand-" I cut myself off to take a breather. I feel myself tearing up.

"It's okay you don't have to continue." She says and I nod.

It's harder than I thought it would be,but I managed to tell her everything. I also asked her to record this session so that I could send it to the police. I don't want to talk about it again.

...

I felt sick when I came home to find the police. They got the recording, but still needed to ask a few questions. Protocol.

So they asked a few questions and I answered. When they left I felt really exhausted.

As I head back upstairs the doorbell rings. Can't I get a break? Who is it now? I just need sleep.

"Toby can you get the door?" I shout.

"Do it yourself!"

What a great brother I have.

I turn around and open the door.

"Samuel?"

"Hey. I just thought I'd come check up on you." He says.

"Uh. Come on in." I say and open the door wider to let him in.

I close the door behind him then face him.

"You long day?" He asks.

"Yeah. Too long." I say exhaustedly.

"I can go. I just wanted to see if you're okay." He says.

"No no. It's okay. You can stay."

"Who is it?" Toby shouts from the living room.

Sam peeks his head around the wall and greets Toby," Hey."

"Oh Hey Sam." Toby greets.

"Let's go upstairs, before my mother sees you and burns down the world." I say and he laughs,then we head upstairs.

"She's in a mood today. I got home earlier and she was furious. I don't even know why."

We head into my room and I sit down on my bed.

"Come on, don't make yourself a stranger." I say, gesturing for him to come sit next to me.

"I can leave if you're tired."

"No Samuel. I am tired but I could use some anti-melodramatic company." I say and he laughs.

"Okay I'll stay. How was your day?" He asks.

"Exhausting. I woke up early and decided to visit Brandon and our baby's burial grounds, then when I came back home my mom flipped out on me. I don't even know why. After her little drama episode I took a nap and then went to see my psychologist. We spoke...about that night. It was hard. Really hard, but we spoke about it and I felt a hint of relief you know. Then I came back home and the police was here to ask a few questions about that night and my statement. So yeah, my day was exhausting, but it's good to see you." I say and throw myself back onto the bed and sprawl out my arms and legs.

Samuel looks down at me and speaks, " Everything will be okay."

"So I've been told." I sigh and look up at him. God I forgot how gorgeous he is.

"Why are you smiling like that?" He asks.

"Your face." I giggle.

"What? What's wrong with my face?" He asks with a worried expression on his face.

"Nothing's wrong..." I laugh and then turn serious, "...You're perfect." I say and get lost in his dark green-brown eyes.

He leans down and my lips part. I place my hand on his cheek and he inches closer.

Our lips collide and for a while I feel fireworks going off as he deepened the kiss.

I can't do this. It's too soon! It's way too soon.

I abruptly break the kiss and move away from him.

"I can't. I can't. I'm sorry Samuel. It's too early. Brandon just-"

"No it's okay. I understand." He says.

"No Sam you don't. We aren't the same people we used to be. We aren't where we used to be. It will never be like it was before. A lot of things changed and-" I start but Samuel cuts me off.

"A lot of things has changed, but I'm still in love with you Tatum. I'll wait for you no matter how long it takes." He says.

"Samuel, but that's not fair towards you. I can't make you wait. What if I'm never ready? Samuel, you deserve better than me."

"But I want you and only you." He says.

"Samuel we aren't who we used to be. I'm a complete different person now, emotionally and physically." I say reminding myself that I have a complete different face.

"Then give me a chance to fall in love with the new you."

"And what if you don't like the new me?"

"Tatum I already fell in love with the new you. The Grace, you." He says.

"We met at out special spot. I didn't know who you were then, but I fell in love with you. I had this pull towards you and I didn't know why back then, but now I know why." He says.

"And why is that?" I ask.

"Because you are Tatum. There is no one else like you. My heart could tell that it was you. Tatum you are still the same person, you just grew and built more walls based on your experiences. Don't push me away. I'm not in a rush. I'll wait for you." He says.

"Samuel but I don't want to hurt you." I say and feel tears and starting to build up in my eyes.

"Shh. It's okay. I don't want to pressure you." He says and pulls me into his arms.

I rest my head against his chest and let the tears stream down my face. Sam deserves better than me, I can't keep him waiting. He'll just get hurt in the end.

"There is still a spark inside you Tatum. I just have to find a way to ignite our fire again." He says and I try to move away to say something, but sleep pulls me with full force.

A/N

Hello all you beautiful people. I apologise for this chapter being shorter than I usually write them,but I hope you enjoyed it.

Thank you for reading. 📖
You all are super stars ✨