Author's Note: Hello, friends! Things have finally calmed down a bit here at Fort Parsons; and I am so excited to share with you all another new chapter.

Oh, I get it. Fort Parsons is the name of her house, not her town. Still not removing the previous sin for it though, or indeed this one. *Ding!*

One thing I would like to talk about, though; many people have been calling me a "misogynist". That means "woman-hater". Friends: I do not hate women! I am a woman! Now, what is it I have done to have people calling me this? Well, apparently, it is saying that women are loving and nurturing and good. Right-how hateful! I'm just a big old mean bigot, huh? Wait-wrong! That is not a bigoted thing to say at all!

The author's views on women are socially unacceptable for a reason. And while I don't think it should be controversial to say that women are statistically more likely to want to be nurturing and gentle (seriously, this is not something that's worth getting fired over at Google), this woman is not at all saying that. She is in fact saying that ALL women should be a certain way, and that is when it becomes a problem, especially when that's the way society is pushing women to be anyway. *Ding!*

The reason her system of belief is considered misogynist, and generally not the reverse, is because it limits the choices available to women. Her views on men aren't much better to be honest. *Ding!*

Now; does that sound misogynistic to you?

I hasten to mention that the author probably doesn't hold these views. This is almost certainly a troll fic written for the lulz. No self-respecting author would actually respond to comments in this way. I mean if you were at all net-savvy, you'd know that repeating the words of negative commenters in the opening paragraphs of your chapters is only going to make them worse. *Ding!*

Harry Potter walked nervously over to the table of Mr. Snape. The other little ones wearing red and yellow hats did the same. Mr. Snape silently stood up; and he motioned with his head for the boys and girls to follow him; and he sauntered out of the Great Hall.

Snape being in Gryffindor bothers me way more than I thought it would. *Ding!*

"Welcome to Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles," greeted the older but still handsome in a dignified, rugged way amicably.

This is like, what, the fifth person to say that line? That's gotta be worth at least five sins. *Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!*

"Well," Mr. Snape said; and he drew his tall, strapping form up to its full, impressive height, "I would like to say that your choosing will make you happy; or that your lives will be easy; but I will not lie. There are dark forces in the world; and they do not like Christians. And when I say Christians; I mean Gryffindor Hats. They love the Hufflepuff Hats; because the Hufflepuff Hats believe everything these people say and slap the label "Christian" onto that philosophy; and so the Hufflepuff Hats make it easier.

Oh, so reform Christians aren't Christian? There's a surprise. *Ding!*

The Ravenclaw Hats, these people claim not to like; but then they pretend that the Ravenclaw Hats' extremism applies to all Christians; so the Ravenclaw Hats help them."

Okay. This is interesting actually. It sound like fundie Christians (represented here by Ravenclaw)... are the bad guys? I might be misunderstanding, but I like how the author seems to be saying that good Christians should hate the extremist parts of their religion. So, credit given where it is due. *!gniᗡ*

(I will of course be taking these compliments back if Harry decides in the end that Ravenclaw Hat is the only true path to God, and the tolerance of Gryffindors will earn them a place in hell.)

"And then, of course, is the Slytherin Hats. The Slytherin Hats will tell you we are all on the same side because they agree with Gryffindor Hats on some things. But do not be fooled! Their leader is working with.....Voldemort!"

In other news, the pope is Catholic. (You see what I did there?) *Ding!*

"But what about the Constitution?" Dean Thomas questioned articulately. "Doesn't he care about the First Amendment?"

Stop making the First Amendment look bad! *Ding!*

Dean Thomas raised his hand again; and queried coherently, "But why does Voldemort hate Christians so much?"

Christ, and I thought 'questioned articulately' was bad enough. There is no way the author isn't doing this deliberately. *Ding!*

Harry was nervous; but he clenched his fist determinedly. He was scared, but he was ready to face this evil!

Heroic character is thinking about the things it would be immediately obvious for him to think about in that situation. So we really didn't need a line of text explaining this, unless that's how this author's been taught to write. It is possible, I suppose. Has she been taking writing lessons from James Dashner? *Ding!*

Story Sin Counter:

1191