friends are supposed to,

trust each other,

right?

well.

i didn't trust you.

or at least I don't anymore.

maybe it's because you took my words,

and twisted them,

maybe it's because,

you called me toxic,

when every time I started dating someone,

you had insisted,

that you were the one for me.

everything you did to me,

cannot be erased,

it's stuck in a part of my brain,

and it's like I can't escape,

i can still feel your hands on my skin,

i can still hear myself,

crying,

and screaming,

and saying,

"No!! Stop!!"

but you didn't want listen,

and you kept going,

until I was loud enough,

that your dad would hear.

and that day,

i left,

with a hickey,

and scars that I couldn't get rid of,

fast enough.

i spent nights crying about it,

i said something to someone,

and guess what?

they didn't belive me.

you used to be so,

clingy,

you would put your head in my lap,

even if i said no,

you'd be so touchy touchy,

and i would tell you to stop,

and you'd get sad.

but we were just friends.

you never listened to a word i said,

and instead,

you did what you had wanted.

it's gotten to the point,

to where i am terrified of you,

i am scared to be around you,

i am scared to talk to you.

because of those things that you did.

friends are not supposed to take advantage of each other,

are they?

you used me,

to make you girlfriend jealous,

yet you kept running back to her,

even if i tried to tell you it was toxic,

and when i ran back to,

"him"

you'd get mad,

and tell me i was being stupid,

you'd ignore me for days,

and then threaten to cut yourself,

if i didn't respond to you fast enough,

i only saw you as a brother,

as someone who could help me,

with my fears,

someone who i,

in a sense,

i used to want to be like,

you,

until you turned around,

and fucked me over,

and fucked me up.

and afterwards,

you still played the victim,

you acted like it was my fault,

when it wasn't,

you chose to do everything you did,

and when you had the chance to stop,

you didn't.

and i guess the sad part is..

we were just friends.