I felt fingers gently running through my hair, a pair of lips against my forehead as I slowly drifted away from my mind numbing dreams and into consciousness. Someone was saying my name softly, the voice familiar.

  I knew the voice was mine, but I was tempted to say, “Go away and let me sleep,” all the same.

Every bone in my body ached with exhaustion. It felt as if I had only just fallen asleep.

 “Archer.” The voice gave a quiet laugh. “Honey, I know you’re awake.”

I gave a disgruntled groan. Opening my eyes was inevitable.

  Hadley’s pretty, tired face swam into view in front of me. She was sitting in the seat next to me, and I realized that I had passed out in the waiting area in Bellevue sometime around three in the morning, and I was still there.

 “Shit.” I sat upright, brushing my hair out of my eyes. “What time is it? How long have I been asleep?”

  “It’s only about eight,” Hadley said right as Carlo came walking up to us, coffee cup in hand.

“Would’ve woken you up, but you just looked so cute sleeping, I didn’t want to disturb you,” he said, slapping my leg as he took a seat beside me.

 “Blow me.” I got to my feet, stretching my arms behind my head. “How is Lauren doing?”

Carlo took a large swallow of coffee and leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes.

“Don’t know. She still hasn’t woken up.”

  “Dammit. Seriously? I don’t – “

“Actually.”

 My voice broke off at the approach of Zia Karin. She was walking towards us, arms crossed, a pinched look about her face. Her eyes were hollow and tired, how I guessed the rest of ours were.

 “Ma.” Carlo shot upright, converging on her. “Is she awake?”

Karin nodded, reaching up to massage her temples. “She’s miserable, but she’s awake.”

 I hadn’t had much occasion to feel particularly excited of late, but I was grudgingly excited that Lauren was awake.

 I needed to know what had happened. Speculations could only get you so far. I needed to hear the truth from Lauren.

 Carlo and I both blurted, “Can I see her?” at the same time, but Karin held up a hand, cutting us off.

  “No. You can’t see her. At least, not right now.” Karin let out a sigh, turning to Hadley. “She wants to see you.”

  “What?” Hadley stood, moving to my side. She was frowning, looking very confused. “Why does Lauren want to see me?”

 Lauren and Hadley were close, but Lauren had always been attached to Karin and John, no matter her age. I was surprised she would have wanted to see somebody other than her parents right now.

 “I don’t know,” Karin said, shaking her head. “She’s asking for you. Please, Hadley, just go see her.”

 Hadley nodded, reaching out to give Karin a tight, comforting hug. “Of course. Of course I’ll go see her.”

 They left through the double doors together, murmuring quietly to each other, leaving Carlo and I alone in the waiting area.

Carlo dropped back into a seat and went back to chugging down coffee. I remained standing there, watching the doors where Hadley and Karin had disappeared through, irrationally hoping that someone was going to come walking through those doors and tell me that Lauren was perfectly fine and that everything was going to be perfectly fine.

  Fat chance of that happening, I thought with a scoff.

I took a seat beside Carlo, propping my elbows up on my knees and resting my head in my hands.

 What was going to happen now?

“Archer.”                                                              

I forced myself out of my reverie and glanced over at Carlo. “Yeah.”

Carlo leaned forward and mimicked me, resting his head in his hands. His eyes were narrowed, glaring down at the floor.

 “Dude.” I nudged his leg with my knee when he remained silent. “What?”

He shook his head, letting out a sigh, then raked his fingers through his hair.

 “I don’t know, Archer. I really don’t. But don’t you think…”

 “Don’t I think what?” I hinted when he fell silent again.

 I knew where Carlo was going with this. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear him say it, though.

Carlo finally let out a frustrated groan and stood, giving the coffee table in the middle of the waiting room a shove with his foot.

 “Dammit, Archer, you know what I’m talking about!”

I involuntarily flinched at the sound of Carlo’s voice echoing off the walls.

 My cousin was not the type of person who raised their voice. Carlo was the laid back type, preferring to watch goings on unless there was something he felt the need to share his thoughts on. 

  Lauren was his little sister. It was only natural he would get worked up, upset about what happened to her. And he and I both knew that this was all because of Henry or whoever Havoc claimed he was.

 But if only Carlo knew the real reason behind everything.

 “How can you just sit there like that, all idle or whatever, acting like nothing even happened!” Carlo rounded on me, jabbing a finger in my chest. “Doesn’t any of this matter to you?”

 “Excuse me, sir, you can’t – “

I waved away the nurse that approached us, glaring at Carlo, and gripped him by the back of his neck, dragged him out of the waiting room, down a deserted hallway by the bathrooms.

  “Look, Carlo.” I let go of his collar before he could send a fist flying in my direction. “I know you’re upset about Lauren. I – “

 “No, you don’t know, Archer.” There was a wild look in Carlo’s eyes as he turned on me again – a look I had never seen before. It honestly…frightened me. “You don’t know what this is like. Seeing your baby sister battered to within inch of her life all because of some goddamn bastard she’s involved with!”

 “Carlo, I – “

“We can’t just sit back and do nothing, Archer! That son of a bitch can’t just be allowed to get away with what he did to my sister! I – “

“Listen, Carlo, you need to – “

“Don’t tell me what to do, Archer, because I’m going to – “

“Listen to me, Carlo!”

 I shoved Carlo up against the wall, pressing my forearm against his neck, hoping against hope that I wouldn’t be forced to use some other type of force to get him to calm down.

 Carlo’s eyes narrowed at me, his mouth set in a harsh line. “Fuck off, Archer.”

“Not until you hear me out.”

  “You seriously have – “

“Look, Carlo. You think this is easy for me? You think this is easy for any of us? It isn’t, in case you haven’t noticed. This is our family. Family isn’t just something you can get rid of. Do you think I don’t want to go out there right now and beat the shit out of that son of a bitch for what he did to Lauren?”

 “I just – “

“Use your head, Carlo!” I pressed my forearm tighter against his neck when he tried to slam his fist against my jaw. “You ending up in jail for assault isn’t going to change anything and it certainly isn’t going to help Lauren.”

 Several tense moments ticked by where Carlo and I were locked in a furious glare, nose-to-nose. Anger and frustration and hurt were visible in Carlo’s eyes, and I wanted to help him, because seeing my normally laidback, easygoing cousin so enraged wasn’t right.

 It was difficult for my mind to process that there wasn’t anything I could do to help him, though.

  “What the hell do you know, huh?” Carlo snapped, giving me a firm shove to the chest. “You think because you’re married and you’ve got a kid on the way you suddenly know everything? Screw you, asshole.”

 I brushed off his words as easily as I could manage.

“That’s not what I’m saying, Carlo,” I said, my throat tightening. “What I’m saying is that you need to get your head out of your ass and realize that going after the bastard that did this to Lauren is only going to get us into more trouble. You have to – “

  But that was all I could say before Carlo’s fist finally collided with the side of my face.

His punch hadn’t gotten much momentum, but it’d come out of nowhere and packed enough strength to make me stumble backwards a few feet.

  My first instinct was to return the gesture and jab my elbow into Carlo’s ribs. The message that this is your cousin somehow managed to cross my mind before I acted upon anything.

 I rubbed my hand across my jaw, not looking forward to the bruise that would surely form there.

 Ow.

 “Since when did you start acting like a pussy, huh?” Carlo demanded in an incredulous voice. “I just decked you in the face and you’re not going to do anything about it?”

 “No,” I said. “If you want to beat the shit out of me, that’s fine. Go ahead. But that still won’t change my stance on this. Don’t do anything stupid, Carlo. Trust me. You don’t want to know what’ll happen if you dig into this.”

 I didn’t even want to know what would happen.

“Just shut up, Archer! I – “

 “Hey! Hey! What the hell is going on here?”

Carlo and I both turned to see John striding down the hallway towards us, shocked expression on his face.

 “Well?” John demanded, coming to a stop in front of us. “I’m waiting for an answer, boys.”

“Nothing,” Carlo ground out through clenched teeth, shooting me a narrow-eyed look. “Absolutely nothing.”

He stalked off down the hallway without another word, not looking back.

 John turned back to me with a baffled expression, eyebrows raised. “What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know,” I muttered, rubbing a hand across the back of my neck. “Your guess is as good as mine, John.”

 John sighed, shaking his head. He looked as if the weight of the world was pressing down on his shoulders, the poor man.

  I felt terrible.

My whole family was falling apart, all because of something that was my fault, something that I couldn’t control.

  “Archer.” I felt John’s hand on my arm. “Look. Lauren asked to see you.”

“Wait, what?”

  My thoughts took an abrupt left turn. How long had Carlo and I been in the hallway, duking it out? 

“C’mon.” John gestured with a hand towards the end of the hallway. “She’s so drugged up right now she probably won’t be awake for long.”

  I felt my insides clench uncomfortably as I followed after John.

I was almost afraid to ask him what the extent of Lauren’s injuries were. 

  “How… I mean, Lauren…” I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly as dry as a desert. “Is she…?”

John sighed, rubbing at his shoulder as we walked. “She’s…fine. As well as she’s capable of being.” He shook his head, a distraught expression taking over his face for half a second before it disappeared again. “That son of a bitch really did a number on her.”

  That did nothing to quell my nerves.

John and I traveled down the separate hallway off the waiting area, past several rooms where other patients lay, each dealing with their own terrible illnesses, all the way until we reached room 4321.

  John stopped outside the room, his hand on the closed door, and turned to look sideways at me. “Make it quick, okay? She needs to rest.” 

 “Right,” I said. “I promise.”

 John nodded, took a deep breath and then opened the door.

 The room was small and cramped, dimly lit by the lamp beside the narrow bed where a small figure lay curled up beneath the sheets, pulled up to their chin, a mess of blonde hair splayed out over the pillows.

  Hadley was sitting in a chair beside the bed, saying something to Lauren, but her voice broke off when John and I stepped in.

  “Hey.” She started to get to feet with some difficulty, and I quickly reached out to help her stand. “Is everything okay? You look like you’ve just – “

“Been decked in the face? Yeah, that’s a story for another day,” I muttered before pulling her off to the side. “Did Lauren say anything about what happened?”

  “No.” Hadley gripped my collar to pull me down to her level, lowering her voice. “She didn’t say anything about what happened, but I have a feeling that’s why she wants to talk you. Just be…gentle with her, okay? She’s been through a lot.”

  That, I didn’t need a reminder of.

She pressed her lips against mine in a quick kiss and then left the room, followed by John. The door shut with a quiet click behind them, casting an eerie silence over the room.

  I took a few hesitant steps forward, not sure if I was supposed to start pelting Lauren with questions now, or wait for her to say something.

 She pulled down the blankets that were covering half her face, giving me a wary look.

I tried hard not to gasp.

 If it were possible, Lauren looked ten times as worse than she did the day before. The bruises and cuts covering her face had darkened in color and a few looked as if they were bleeding. A shallow cut underneath her left eye had swollen a little, giving her an almost puffy appearance.

 “Hi, Archer.” Lauren’s voice was cracked and raspy, harsh on my ears.

“Hey, Lauren.” I took a seat on the edge of the chair. “How…how are you feeling?”

Lauren sighed, dropping her head back on a pillow, staring at a point on the wall. “I’ve…well, I’ve definitely seen better days.”

 I didn’t know what would be an appropriate response, so I kept quiet.

The silence stretched on between us for several moments.

  “Archer, I…”

I looked away from counting chips in the paint on the ceiling. “Yeah?”

 Tears were swimming in her eyes as she sucked in a shaky breath, still avoiding looking anywhere at me. 

  “You were right about…about…” She scrunched her eyes closed, yanking the blankets back up to her chin. “About…”

  Without thinking I leaned forward and grabbed Lauren’s hand in mine, squeezing tightly. I found that even though I knew what Lauren was trying to say, I didn’t want to hear her try and force the words out.

  Seeing my cousin like that, my family – or even anyone else, for that matter – was too…painful.

“Lauren, please. Just don’t, okay?” I said. “I understand.”

 “No, no, no. You don’t understand, Archer.” Lauren exclaimed, shooting upright in bed. “You were right about Henry and I should have listened to you. You were only looking out for me, and he did these terrible, awful things and I – “

  “Lauren!”

Now we were both trying hard to keep from raising our voices. If we got any louder, we’d attract the hospital’s attention.

I honestly wished I could tell Lauren the truth, about Havoc, about everything, but that only worsen the situation and she would never believe me as it were.

 I chose my words very carefully when I spoke next.

 “Whatever happened with Henry wasn’t your fault. Okay? Regardless of what I said before. You have to believe me on this one.”

 Her eyes narrowed and her chin jutted out in the Incitti defiant way.

 “That’s just bullshit, Archer. How can you expect me to believe this wasn’t my fault when I haven’t even told you what happened? About how he -”

  “Oh, I have a vague idea of what happened, if your appearance is anything to go by,” I assured her. “But please, spare me the details. You just have to trust me that this wasn’t your fault. I know this is a lot to ask of you, but some things in life you just have to do blindly, and this is one of those things.”

 Wait. Hadn’t I head that somewhere before?

  “But I – “

“Please, Lauren.”

  She slipped her hand from mine with a disgusted sigh and slouched backwards against the pillows. Her eyes were trained on the ceiling for several moments while she worked to keep her breathing slow and even.

  “Why?” she demanded, glaring over at me.

 “Because…because you can’t let this ruin your life. That’s why.”

 Or I’ll never be able to forgive myself.

  “Archer…”

At the moment Lauren opened her mouth to say something, there were several rapid knocks on the door. I stood up quickly and moved to open the door, only to come face to face with the last person I wanted to see.

 I stepped out of the room and slammed the door shut, silently praying that Lauren hadn’t seen any sliver of the person now standing in front of me.

 “Archer. We’ve got a problem.”

 “Yeah, I kinda figured that, since you’re showing your face after a good few weeks.”

 Death hooked a finger in the collar of my jacket and dragged me down the hallway – a reoccurring theme for today – and pulled me into an empty janitor’s closet.

  “What are we doing in here?” I demanded, flipping on the light switch. We were surrounded by mops and brooms and a mess of cleaning supplies that burnt my nose, which only made this situation even weirder. “If you haven’t noticed, I’ve got enough on my plate to be dealing with.”

  Death gave himself a second to give me an annoyed look and then his hard face was abruptly serious again. He shoved a hand into his pocket and came up with a white envelope that he thrust at me.

  “What’s this?” I quickly flipped open the envelope to examine the contents. “Airplane tickets?”

“That’s right, Archer. Four tickets for the red-eye to Palermo tonight,” Death said, lowering his voice, speaking quickly. “You’re going to give these to your mother and your sisters and then you’re going to personally see them on that flight. Do you understand me?”

  “What?” My thoughts were racing a mile a minute. “Why do my mother and sisters need to go to Palermo? I – “

  “Dammit, Archer, use your head!” I jerked back a step when Death smacked me on the back of the head. “I told you from the very beginning that something was coming, didn’t I? Well, it’s here.”

 It felt as if my blood started to run cold.

This was it? After months of waiting, was this actually it?

 “It’s…” I swallowed hard, wiping my hands on my jeans. I didn’t trust myself to keep from throwing up. “You mean now?”

 “What did you expect, Archer?” Death said flatly. “You knew the end was going to come at some point, didn’t you?”

  I knew that. Of course I knew that.

But knowing something inevitable was going to happen was far from actually experiencing said thing.

  “Okay,” I forced out. “Okay. So…so…what…”

Why was it so hard to speak, dammit?

  “What do we now?” Death finished for me. “Get your family to Palermo as soon as you can. Okay?”

  “And what about Hadley, huh? I noticed how you made no mention of her,” I said, my heart starting to pound erratically. “What about Hadley?”

  Death’s mouth tightened into a frown and his eyes moved from mine for half a second – enough subtle signs for me to realize there was a catch here.

  “Death.” My hands shot out to grip the front of his jacket, yanking him forward. “What. About. Hadley.”

  “Calm down! I haven’t forgotten about her,” Death snapped. “Of course I haven’t forgotten about her. Believe me, I would send her to Palermo with your mother, too, but if you hadn’t noticed, she’s a little too pregnant at the moment to be flying.”

  “Well, that’s all fine and dandy, then,” I said through clenched teeth. “Then what exactly do you suggest we do to keep her safe?”

  “She’ll be heading back to Albany with your aunt Sophia tonight.”

The answer was as simple as that?

  Death was going to send my mother and little sisters all the way to Sicily and yet Hadley was only going three hours out from the city?

  “What, can’t you just, like, zap her to Palermo with my mom?” I said in confusion, releasing my grip on his jacket. “You’re Death, right? Can’t you just – “

 “Oh, gee, why hadn’t I thought of that?” Death retorted sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “I would if I could, Archer, but here’s the thing – I’m not the all-powerful, supernatural being you think I am. At one point I might have been called that, but not now. Not after I Fell. What things I can do now are extremely limited.”

 His explanation was far from what I was expecting to hear, if I could’ve speculated anything said by Death.

  “Fell?” My thoughts were shifting around so rapidly I could barely focus on one straight thing to dissect. “What do you mean, fell?”

 “Fell,” Death repeated. The expression in his eyes was unsettling as he finally met my gaze again. “Fell from Heaven. I was stripped of my wings and cast out.”

  “Oh. You were…okay.”

His response brought on a whole other slew of questions, but judging by the look on his face, now was not the appropriate time to ask.

  “So,” I said, inhaling deeply. “Hadley is going to Albany with my aunt. And you promise she’ll be safe? The baby, as well?”

  Death held his hands up in a surrendering gesture. “You have my word that she and your child are as safe as they possibly can be.”

  I felt my shoulders slump with relief.

“Good. That’s… - “

  “Because she’s not the one Havoc is coming for.”

“…Good. Excuse me?”

  “Archer. You are.”

“I’m...okay. Havoc is coming. For me. Right. When?”

 I was surprised at myself. I was managing to form at least semi-coherent sentences even though Death had more or less just delivered my death sentence.

  But that was what this was all about, wasn’t it?

Everything I’d done was to make sure Hadley and our baby were safe, away from harm.

 “You’ll know when. I can’t tell you anything more than that, because I don’t know anything else.”

 I almost rolled my eyes. Right. I should’ve expected an answer like that.

  Death gripped my shoulders and gave me a firm shake, like a father would their son. “I’m…sorry. Very sorry, Archer. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

  “Yeah, you and me both, pal.”

I wasn’t sure of the feelings that were coursing through me, feelings that I had absolutely no experience with. I felt numb all over, almost like someone had just dunked me in a bath of ice water.

 “So I’m going to offer you a few last words,” Death said “What I told Hadley.”

  What could Death possibly have to say to me now that would make any of this seem all right?

 “What?”

 “You did good, kid.”

He clapped me on the shoulder again with something that might have been an affectionate smile, and then he was gone.

  I stood there in the middle of the janitor’s closet, staring at the wall, trying to collect my thoughts.

  When I finally did leave the stupid closet, I was no were near a plausible explanation that would account for why Mom and the girls would be going to Palermo and why Hadley would be going to Albany. Why I would suddenly be disappearing to God only knew where.

 "Archer?” Hadley looked up from the magazine she was flipping through in the waiting area and tried to get to her feet as I approached her. “Are you okay? How did it go with Lauren? I – “

 I grabbed her face in my hands and kissed her, trying to convey everything I felt for her through the simple touch. When I leaned away from her, there was a dazed look on her face and her eyes were crossed, her arms hanging limply at her sides.

  “…What?”

“You trust me, don’t you?”

  “Of course I do,” Hadley said immediately. “Of course I trust you. But I don’t – “

“Then I need you to trust me when I tell you that you have to go to home with Sophia tonight, okay?”

  “But why?” she demanded, frowning. “I don’t understand.”

“I know,” I said, pressing my lips against hers again. “And I’m asking you to go even though you don’t understand.”

  I hadn’t told her what had just transpired in Lauren’s room, or the janitor’s closet with Death, but I got the feeling Hadley already knew everything when her eyes started brimming with tears.

 “Just…just promise me…” She dropped her forehead against my chest, breathing shakily. “Just be careful, all right?”

  I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close, resting my cheek against the top of her head.

“Promise.”

  I had to convince myself that I wasn’t really saying goodbye to Hadley and that I could keep my promise to her.

More like I was just saying see you later.

  Somewhere deep down I knew that I would never have the ability to let things end like this. This story had to have a proper ending. Not one full of death and destruction. But an ending where all of the hardships, everything you faced, were completely worth it, despite what you may have lost.

 Because in this story, I had everything to lose.

And the one thing that I refused to lose was right in my arms. 

______________________________________________________________________________

 College is not all it's cracked up to me, let me tell you. It's been a fun run so far, but it is downright exhausting. I don't know if I've ever had so much homework before in my life. Moving in to the dorms, going to class, running errands and doing this and that have been taking up the majority of my time. And believe me, I'd rather be writing all the time if I could, but at this point, that's just not possible.

What is possible, though...is for me to finally friggin' finish Face Your Fears! :D

I have the last few chapters planned out, which I will hopefully be able to type out and post within a relatively short amount of time, compared to the space in betwee chapters 26 and 27. Which I do apologize for! Seriously, you have no idea. But, well, finding the time to write has been pretty darn difficult - like when I planned on posting this chapter last weekend, but instead my mom and my sister and my niece decided to pay me a surprise visit, so I was then otherwise occupied. 

I really do want to finish up these last few chapters, but I don't know how fast I'll be able to. I want to write them as best as I possibly can, so if it takes extra time, that's why. I'm honestly not too good at the whole balancing college, work and your social life right now, so...yeah. :( 

Anyway...the crux of this whole rant is...thank you! Thank you for sticking with me through this rough patch and for wanting to finish out Hadley and Archer's story with me. It means so much, you have no idea. 

- Ally :)