Rays of sunshine filtered into my bedroom the following morning and I awoke in a bright blinded confusion.  Something felt different, but I couldn't put my just-out-of-bed finger on what had changed. Uncertain, I made my way to my kitchen for coffee. 

I noticed a tiny red bird, perched outside my window and thrusting it open we exchanged pleasantries through a series of whistles.  I mimicked him and he rhymed me, back and forth, and I laughed aloud at the strange interaction.

It hit me.  I was in a good mood.  All of the symptoms were there.  I felt light and cheerful and full of possibilities for the day. I wore a smile before nine o'clock a.m.  I was whistling to birds for God's sake. 

A huge weight seemed to have fallen from my shoulders.  Inhaling deeply, I enjoyed the dewy fresh smell of a new morning.  It seemed that last night's horrific event was my rock bottom and I was moving into recovery.  This was an entirely unfamiliar mood to me. Feeling as though it might dissolve at any moment, I set about getting ready for a productive day.

I chose an outfit I felt befitting of my new enhanced state-of-mind.  An hour later I was out the door, dressed in a flowy, pale yellow Chloe dress, YSL espadrilles, and over-sized Kate Spade sunglasses. I headed to the local Starbucks to work on my résumé, a task I'd been avoiding for months. 

Mary Sweet, the head of SMU's journalism department, had graciously arranged for me to interview for an internship with the Dallas Morning News.  I was determined to be prepared.  Who needs a stupid guy if I'm a writer for the Dallas News? 

Settling into a darkened corner booth I felt thankful for the cooled air and my iced mocha frappuccino in the midst of a full blown Texas heatwave.  I engrossed myself in the tedious task of resume fluffing.  As I worked, the hair on the back of my neck began to tickle. 

Feeling I was being watched, I whirled around to locate the source of the prickly sensation and--Jaime Knox. 

It was him.

My breath stopped short. My heart beat spastically beneath my designer dress. My body threatened to give out entirely--pop my head right off its top.

"Annie?" his Jaime voice called out. "Annie Paige, wow, it's so good to see you!"  His Jaime voice continued, heading my way.  Eventually I recovered my ability to function and leapt into his Jaime arms, hugging him a tight hello while absorbing his essence through his powder blue polo tee.

My brain fluttered with frantic intensity, my heart hammered dangerously loud, my palms felt clammy, and I was smiling like Little Orphan Annie upon viewing Daddy Warbuck's estate.  "I can't believe it's you," I said, finally breaking what may have been an awkwardly long hug-filled silence.  "It's you." I couldn't stop myself--utter delight.

Age had served him well, as he looked almost exactly as I remembered. Boyishly handsome, cute as a button, now mixed with perfectly placed, character-filled laugh lines, a deliriously delicious combination.  Jaime smiled at me brightly, his teeth strikingly white and even and perfect. 

"How are you? You look amazing." His words caressed me and I absorbed each one with eagerness, committing his sentences to memory, branding them into my soul. 

"Great! I've been great," I said.  "I'm finishing up grad school in Journalism at SMU. And thank you, you look amazing too.  Do you live in Dallas?" It came out in a rush. Every piece of me braced myself for his answer, knowing the importance of his response. 

"Yeah, I still live in Dallas.  I got a big promotion with Merrill Lynch.  I love my job and have family close, so I...yup. Dallas it is.  Texas forever," he finished with a cocky confidence.  "Hey, would you like to grab dinner sometime? Catch up?" he asked, his green eyes twinkling. 

"Yes. Yes!  I would love to catch up," I told him, awfully quick. 

It's a date," Jaime said with a wink. 

We exchanged numbers and he was gone.  I sat motionless allowing what happened to fully wash over me.  "Starbucks is magic," I muttered to no one at all. Finishing my coffee I dared once again to consider a future with Jaime Knox. 

I floated around all day long.  I typed and deleted and re-typed and deleted text messages to Lulu and Harriett. But each time something stopped me from pressing send. I wasn't ready to face Jaime-doubters, choosing instead to remain inside my fantasy bubble for the entire afternoon. I squirmed with delight thinking ahead to future plans. Eventually when I could no longer stand my secret, I called my friends. We agreed to meet that night for karaoke, Lulu's favorite. 

Six hours later I raced into the dingy bar.  I was about to burst with information when I spotted them across the room. Before I made it to their sides I blurted out loudly, "I saw Jaime Knox today. And he saw me.  And we have a date.  Together."

Silence. 

Lulu and Harriett looked at me and then at one another, each wearing a shared look of suspicious dismay.

"What?" I asked.  "Someone say something.  I. saw. Jaime. Knox!"  I repeated, in case they somehow managed to misunderstand the enormity of what I told them. 

"Umm, Annie, that's great!  It's really great.  Crazy great!" Harriett stammered finally. 

"Jaime Knox? You are fucking kidding me," Lulu snapped.  "Sorry, Annie, I just didn't expect to see you so...happy.  I mean, last night was a bit traumatic for all of us. Especially you, so, I guess I'm surprised, that's all.  But oh my God, Jaime? Shut the fuck up. No!  Tell us everything." 

And so I did.  I neatly unfolded every single Jaime word I'd smartly squirreled away. My friends and I dissected each one with skills belonging to that of a particular set of single women around the age of thirty.  

"I guess we shall see," Lulu said, overly cautious with undisguised concern.  "I'm going to get the song list.  It's karaoke time!" 

Harriett starred at me with a mixture of excitement and fear. "Quite a turn around," she said quietly.  "I'm happy for you, Annie."

"I think this is how it happens," I told her. 

"How what happens?"

"Love, Harriett. This is how true love happens. The universe pushes you to the brink of emotional sanity, over the edge, and then you are forced to break.  But once you break everything gets better!"  I informed her knowingly, smug in my budding fairytale romance.   

"Really, Annie?  You have to break to find love?" Harriett asked, true fear smeared across her beautiful face. 

"Yes, yes, you must break," I repeated, insensitive to her mounting concerns. 

Lulu rejoined our table and the conversation was cut short.  "What do y'all feel like singing?" she asked as if we had a choice. 

Forty-five, booze-filled minutes later the three of us stood shrouded in smoky light upon a small wooden stage, mikes in hand.  An energetic crowd gathered.  Lulu was in her element, basking in appreciative stares.   Harriett appeared nervous. She alternately toyed with her microphone and gulped her margarita, casting longing peeks at our now empty bar stools.  I felt uncharacteristically pumped-up about performing on stage and goose bumps formed on my arms as I shivered, loving the feeling of living. 

The soft guitar strums of Journey filed the bar and cheers erupted from our newly acquired admirers before we ever sang a word. 

"Just a small town girl, living in a looooonely world," Lulu purred into her mike, tossing her white gold hair.  "She took the midnight train going anyyyyywhere." 

"Just a cityyyy boy," I joined in, with all the heart I could muster.  "Born and raised in South Oklahmomaaaaaaa," I changed the song details according to Jaime, lost in the moment. "He took the midnight train goingggg anywhere." 

We sang in unison, each dancing and swinging our drunken hips.  As a chorus of, "Don't Stop Believing," resounded in my ears I thought only of Jaime Knox. I was happy, if only on rented dreams. 

As the last strains of the song died down the crowd erupted in frenzied cheers and my friends and I crumpled into one another, a completed circle of love.

We made our way back to our seats in a huff of happiness, laughing and affirming each other's performance.  "We brought down the house. They loved us!" Lulu squealed, flushed with a post-show glow. 

Wooohoooo!" Harriett boomed. "We are awesome!"

I reached for my drink and discovered the missed call signal blinking on my cell.  Scooping up my phone I read, one missed call (214) 343-5555.   

My pulse quickened. 

"Do y'all recognize this number?" My heart mad with hope, I didn't wait on a response.  I dashed out of the bar and to the quiet retreat of an empty parking lot.  I dialed the number and waited. 

"Hello?" Jaime answered on the forth ring and sizzling energy coursed through my veins.

"Hey, It's Annie. I think I missed your call."

No problem," he said, sounding relaxed.  "I was actually calling to collect on that dinner, if that's okay with you."

"I'd love dinner! I mean, I'd love dinner with you." I stuttered, set afire by his voice. 

"Does this Saturday night work?" he stated more than asked.   

"I'll text you my address," I told him in delighted disbelief. "See you Saturday."

"I'll be there at about eight o'clock.  G'night, Annie." 

"Good night, Jaime."  I shut my phone and screamed.

The next week passed in a blur of ever-increasing expectations.  I spent endless hours in secret speculation. Where will we go? What will we talk about?  What should I wear?  Where will this lead?  Does he ever plan to marry?  How many kids will we have?  By Saturday I was sick and tired of my own thoughts and ready for some answers. 

He rang my doorbell at eight o' clock sharp.  On the other side I dropped my nail file and nearly wet my tight, white, Rag and Bone pants.  Taking a long, slow breath I collected myself and went to let Jaime inside--Jaime Knox inside my house, inside my life. I glided down the hall to my future.

"Hi there, beautiful," he said, looking ridiculously cute in his white Lacoste shirt and Ray Ban sunglasses. "You ready for this?" 

"I'm ready," I said, more certain than I'd ever felt. 

He opened his truck door for me to slide in and I smiled at the perfect condition of the lush, caramel colored, leather interior.  "This is more like a limo than a truck," I told him teasingly. 

Yeah, not so bad, huh?"  He laughed, obviously proud.  "I had a BMW, but it didn't feel like me so I got this."

"Well it suits you. A metro-sexual cowboy truck," I said, forgetting to monitor my thoughts. 

Appearing confident, he smiled and took my hand in his own.

My God he's sexy. How could I have ever settled for less than Jaime Knox?

"Ever been to the top of Reunion Tower?" he asked, referring to the big ball that hovers above the city of Dallas. 

"No," I told him honestly, "I've never been."  But I smiled inside knowing exactly what this meant. The restaurant at the top of the ball is reserved only for special occasions, proms and proposals and such. 

Jaime Knox was trying to impress me. 

"Antares it is then," he said, referring to the expensive restaurant at the top. "I'm going to show you my Dallas tonight, Annie." 

Hand in hand, Jaime and I rose slowly up the elevator and once we reached the summit I followed him into a large open room.  Our maitre d' led us to our waiting table, showcasing breathtaking views of the Dallas-Ft. Worth skyline. 

"Wow, this place is great," I offered.  He pulled out my chair as I realized we were spinning.  The restaurant rotated slowly, offering three-hundred-sixty degree views of a city ablaze with nightlife below.  Once tucked into my seat I met Jaime's gaze over the delicate, white-bone china and sparkling crystal glasses draping our decadent table. Candlelight cast shadows across his handsome face, making him appear more heart-breakingly sexy than ever before.

"I think about you," he said.  "I think a lot about you actually, Annie."

The words I had waited a lifetime to hear.  They hung heavy in our air and I let out an accidental sigh of contentment.  A sigh spent from years of yearning for Jaime, craving him to answer my need.   

"You know I've always been crazy about you," I said, blushing.  I broke his urgent eye-embrace, thinking back to all of the desperate measures I took to get here and wondering if he was thinking the same. 

A prim waiter interrupted our unfolding love story, reciting a never ending list of specials and suggestions from a dizzying array of wine. Jaime did not appear flustered in the least.  He requested a specific bottle of French Cabernet, pronouncing the label skillfully and with an authoritative flair.  "Crazy about me, huh?" he questioned, smiling with one eyebrow cocked, once our waiter scurried off. 

"I feel like we have a real connection," I said finally, thinking this should explain it all. 

"A connection?  Annie, do you ever wonder if you're just infatuated with me?" Jaime asked seriously, exposing questions of his own. 

I stifled a laugh at the absurdity of his question. Um, duh. Of course I'd considered the idea that he's a mere infatuation.  I'd loved him for fifteen fucking years. As a girl, as a college co-ed, as a young adult, and during every moment in between I loved him. I had considered it all. Infatuation?  I thought not. 

"I believe it's more than that," I offered simply. 

Jaime smiled like the devil. "Good," was all he said. 

Our evening passed in a glowing rush.  Heady conversations gave way to a more relaxed and playful interaction as Jaime and I loosened (drank) up.   Over a shared dessert of apple cobbler a la mode and two snifters of Cognac, Jaime said cutely, "You wanna go fishing with me?" 

"Yup," I nodded eagerly in acceptance of his odd request, never wanting anything more. 

Jaime smoothly paid our bill and as a couple we made our escape. 

Jaime pulled his rolls of a truck into the Dallas Lake Marina, parking expertly and jumping out to open my door.  "My lady," he led me under one arm. 

The marina was bathed in golden light cast from quaint wrought-iron lanterns dotting the lush grounds. The full-moon hung low in the sky. Beautifully crafted sailboats with a rainbow of colorful sails, huge Bay Liners, and expensive Cigarette boats bobbed softly in dark waters. A fragrant breeze whipped my hair and I sniffed the lake air deeply, inhaling the intoxicating aroma of easy-living.  A party could be heard coming from one of the more impressive looking vessels in the marina and happy laughter spilled from the cabin.

Jaime guided me past an eclectic mixture of yachts and ships, houseboats and twin engines, and down a wooden deck.  He stopped at a beautiful Sea Ray cruiser.  Hopping aboard he offered me his hand and gladly, I accepted.  The boat was sparkling white with nautical navy details. It appeared new and I buzzed about taking in the kitchen, restroom and cozy bed in the cabin below.

"Annie?" An unfamiliar and masculine voice called from outside the boat. "Annie Paige, is that you?"

I climbed the small latter toward the voice and saw Jack Swanson standing breathless before me on the wooden dock.  He wore swim trunks and a t-shirt and his thick, sandy-blonde hair was windblown. I could tell he'd spent the day at the lake by the pink sunburn highlighting his chiseled cheekbones.  He looked amused, slightly tipsy, and very handsome. 

"Jack," I said surprised by how happy I felt to see him. "Hi." 

For one brief moment I forgot that I was in the middle of my dream romance.  Forgot about Jaime Knox entirely and stood under the star-filled sky staring only at Jack. 

"Hey, I thought that was you," he started, obviously pleased. "I'm a few boats down, at the party and--"

Jaime emerged from down below and I automatically snapped back to attention. 

"Jaime, this is Jack.  Jack, Jaime," I introduced the two. "Jack's a friend of, well, mine I suppose and he saw us walk by.  I explained to Jaime, not sure why I felt so ill at ease. 

"Well hello there, Jack." Jaime said, dismissively.

I watched them stare at one another.  The two men, chests puffed, sized each other up.   I felt the red-hot stamp of Fag Hag branded across my forehead. My level of discomfort grew with each passing second, aided by my crazy thoughts. Why must I always be attracted to gay men? Do I have some sort of fetish?

The two men continued to stare. 

They're probably going to fall in love with one another, leaving me a sad and lonely wreck.  What if Jaime truly is gay?  What man wouldn't want Jack?

"Hey Annie, would you mind helping me with the ropes?" Jaime terminated the stare-off with his words, interrupting my stream of conscious madness.   

"Sure," I said quickly, already walking Jaime's way. "Good to see you, Jack!" I yelled over my shoulder while unfastening the knot tying us to the dock, eager to impress Jaime with my boating skills. 

"Yeah, you too, Annie.  Oh, and I've wanted to talk to you about your writing, it's fucking awesome.  I think you have a story to tell." 

"What?"  I squawked utterly confused. "What did you say, Jack?"

Jaime turned the key to his vessel and loud engines rumbled to life, drowning out the sound of my voice.   I watched Jack as our boat pulled away and wracked my brain for what in the world he was talking about.  My writing?

Before I could ponder this mystery further Jaime beckoned me to his side, serving as the ultimate distraction to anything outside the realm of us. 

He looped one arm around my back and steered us into ink dark waters. The moon etched a sparkling silver path through otherwise blackness. He cranked up the music and Bob Segar's, 'You'll Accompany Me,' filled the night as we skipped across the lake at dizzying speeds. 

"One day lady you'll accompany me.  High above me flying wild and free, one day lady you'll accompany me," Jaime sang deeply, making me melt.  He stopped the boat and together we sat in the warm comfort of the night.  Unspoken promises hung heavy.

Jaime disappeared for a moment, rummaging around below. He reemerged procuring two fishing poles, as promised, and handed one to me.  "Feeling lucky?"

Yes, indeed, I felt damn lucky.

Thank the Lord! She finally found The elusive Jamie Knox. Wanna know what happens, read on :) also, if you would please show your support by pushing my star. Your vote matters!

Also, I am taking part in the Brigade Watty Awards, and I'll be in love with you forever for voting for Fag Hag in the contest. It is chapter 83 and here is the link:

http://my.w.tt/UiNb/io0KGX0lkv

Thank you so very much!!