Our plane arrives in Los Angeles, at five forty-five A.M., the Friday morning before the wedding crash. Lulu, Harriett, and I stand, impatiently watching on as a frantic Julian races circles of hysteria around the empty luggage conveyer, unable to locate his over-sized Louis Vuitton bag.

"Loouuuiiieeess!" he screams primally, calling for his lost luggage ala Brando in, 'A Street Car Named Desire', and falling to his knees onto the airports linoleum floor. "WHY ME?" he cries, looking like a broken man. "Why me?" His eyes take on a crazed look of desperation, and his cheeks flush red with fury.  "This is the worst vacation ever!" he says, to no one in particular.

I had enough, "This is not a vacation, you lunatic! We are here to get answers. For vengeance. To stop Jaime's wedding! Remember?" I ask, my frustration palpable. "Now get up off that floor!"

"No," was his reply.

"Nooooo?" I ask, my voice rising in disbelief.

"I'm not leaving without Louis," he says, childishly crossing his legs as if attending a sixties style sit-in.

"Oh, yes you are."  With a steely look of determination, I attack him. To be honest, I wasn't aware violence was in me, but I yank his feet from beneath him, causing him to flop back with his legs high in the air. I fling his knees over my back and drag his body behind me.

"Stop, Annie, stop! I love you more than my luggage! More than my Louise luggage, Annie!" he screams from his vulnerable position, doing his best to shield his head from the hard linoleum tile.

Only when I notice the airport security guard eyeballing me as though I have liquid nitrogen hidden inside my bra and speaking urgently into his walky-talky, do I decide to stop.

Lulu steps in and not a moment too soon. "Come on Annie, let's go rent a car. Harriett, you take Julian to report his missing bag," she says authoritatively, leading me away.

"My missing baby," Julian corrects her emotionally, rising from the ground and dusting himself clean. As Harriett ushers him gently toward the lost luggage claim, he turns and calls out loudly, "I'm only going if we get a convertible!"

Loving Fag Hag so far...please push my star! Or really, even if you like it just a bit :)

Also, I am taking part in the Brigade Watty Awards, and I'll be in love with you forever for voting for Fag Hag in the contest. I am chapter 83 and here is the link:

http://my.w.tt/UiNb/io0KGX0lkv

Thank you so very much!!