Written by CBMokedi

It had been raining all day. The sky was grey and unforgiving. Occasionally, Charlotte heard a bolt of thunder or saw a flash of lightning outside her window. It was honestly a long-anticipated change from the previous scorching weeks for the whole region. She personally hoped the rain would last.

Charlotte reached for the brown paper bag and looked inside. Two bars of chocolate wrapped in fun, colorful printing made her salivate. Cookie and Cream, so innocent, but right under it was Magic Mushroom Blend.

Charlotte had tried marijuana in college. Psychedelic mushrooms, on the other hand, were a completely new frontier. One she didn't know if she should venture in. Her parents would raise their eyebrows sky-high if they saw her even touch these. 

"Try this," the note on the brown bag said, "1-3 squares at a time ONLY!" sign with an A and a smiley face. Charlotte sighed. Allison had dropped them in front of her cabin yesterday after banging on her door like a mad woman for ten minutes. She didn't know why she dodged her friend—the only friend she had in Helen, but she knew she shouldn't see Allison or any human being in this stage of her being. 

Allison would never give her something bad or harmful. Charlotte tore the chocolate wrap and broke two squares. She flipped them back and forth, staring at the black pattern that the cookie crumbs made on the white chocolate background. She had the same feelings as someone who was about to step through a galactic portal or jump off a cliff. It wouldn't be so different. Charlotte shrugged and broke another two squares from the chocolate bar and chucked everything into her mouth.

She skimmed through the nutritional values on the back of the chocolate bar while chewing before leaning back and closing her eyes. Charlotte hoped something would happen, fast, but nothing did. She waited a few more seconds before sitting straight up and scrolling her mouse.

Charlotte had learned all the sites on this first page of search results by heart. She had read all the articles and blogs, watched all the videos, and listened to all the podcasts. At this point, it seemed that she knew everything. 

"Appalachian Tidbits, hello again," Charlotte mumbled while clicking a purple-colored link.

At the same time, her phone vibrated on the table, flashing Allison's name and face. 

Ping. Pick up now! As if her friend was right there screaming at her. 

Ping. Are you gonna pick up or what?  

Ping. What are you doing?

Ping. Did you try the chocolate? Good, isn't it?

Ping. Fine, at least let me know if you want fig pie at the farmers market. It opens today.  

Charlotte sighed and turned her phone off. She threw another square of chocolate into her mouth and emptied the cold caffeinated contents of her mug. She burped loudly while setting the mug aside. Her eyes and throat burned. Her heart and mind—even worse. 

The laptop screen blinked as if it was possessed. Time for you to retire, Charlotte traced the screen's edge. Greyson had bought it refurbished as a gift when she went back to college for her second degree. 

Day drinking was never part of her future plan. It was never part of anything until Greyson was gone. No point crying over spilled milk now, but Charlotte wanted to.

She forced herself to read the article she had read no less than twenty times before slamming her laptop shut. Enough.

Charlotte turned to the view outside her window. The rain had slowed down. Everything was of a lush green color. It burned into her retina. 

"Little people", "Fairy crosses stones", and "The rings of mushrooms".

Three things swirled in Charlotte's mind. She stood up and walked to the front door. As she opened it, a gush of cool wind blew in her face. It smelled of moisture and fresh grass. Not the worst thing in the world.

Charlotte closed her eyes and breathed everything in. Part of her porch was wet. She walked to a small puddle near her wicker seating set and dipped her big toe in it.

Cold. Freezing cold.  

Charlotte didn't even bother with a raincoat or umbrella. She stepped off the porch, straight onto the muddy ground with her bare feet. She liked how it felt. Gross. Charlotte scrunched her nose and wiggled her toes before going back inside to grab her Crocs.

 She rolled her pajama pants up above her ankles and walked to the overgrown part behind the cabin. It looked quite different today. The smaller trees and plants leaned dramatically in different directions thanks to the strong winds, making the trail Charlotte had taken before somewhat more defined. She looked up at the heavy clouds before pushing forward. 

Once in a while, a cold drop landed on her left or right shoulder, soaking through her T-shirt and sending shivers through her body, but Charlotte didn't mind it. She kept her eyes on the ground, determined. In her head, the image of a circle made of tiny mushrooms kept appearing. Part of her subconscious mind told Charlotte that it was all a legend, a children's story, but her feet continued forward. Fatigue slowly took over after a while, and the mud weighed down her steps. Charlotte decided to take a break and sat down under the first trailing tree that she saw. She swatted some flies away and considered returning to her cabin. Staying until it was completely dark out wasn't a smart idea.

Charlotte pushed on her knees to stand up, stumbling a little as her Crocs stuck on some small roots. As she turned around to hold on to the tree, she saw it. 

Right under the shade of a big cedar, a circle of red mushrooms stuck out like a sore thumb on the yellow-green grass. It wasn't a perfect "circle", so to speak, but wiggly like a kidney bean. Maybe that was why she had missed it. What Nick had said came to her mind again. "A circle of mushrooms. They always grow where fairies are dancing."

"I'll be damned," Charlotte mumbled. 

She walked fast toward the mushrooms. They looked very cute, like perfect little red gems or the mushrooms she had seen in cartoons. Charlotte didn't know much about vegetation, so she couldn't tell if they were poisonous or not. She carefully stepped over them and stood in the middle of the circle.

"This is so stupid," she said to herself. Charlotte had not prayed in a while, so this felt very unnatural, but she closed her eyes and put her hands together. "Grey, if you can hear me...God, it's stupid... If you hear me, I want you to know that... It's been tough. Real tough. I haven't had the slightest idea how to move on or go through life without you." 

She stopped for a moment and looked up at the tree branches to stop her tears from falling. "I just want to see you again. To touch you. Hold you. I feel like I'm just waiting for my life to be over. I don't know if I'm dreaming, hallucinating, or just plain crazy half the time. My psychiatrist will freak out if she hears I'm saying this, but it is what it is."

Charlotte sighed and put her hands down. Prayers were as good as they got. They had not helped her then. What made her think that they would now? 

She turned around and as if someone had just dropped a giant ball of glitter on her head, the world stood still for a second before exploding with colors. The things she couldn't see before now came into sharp focus. But they also looked funky. Charlotte couldn't really explain it. 

A bird sang from somewhere far away, and she could smell its song. 

Yes, it smelled like electric blue. Tasted like mint chips.

Charlotte's mouth became so dry that she hunched over and gagged. Her heartbeat quickened, but that didn't last too long. She felt lightheaded and hot—extremely hot, but also incredible. 

Charlotte laughed as she straightened her back. She was more relaxed than she had ever been since Greyson passed away. The universe knocked, and when she answered, it rushed in, kicked her out, and locked the door. 

She now was outside of her own body, as well as time and space.

"Whoa," Charlotte giggled while waving her hands in the air.

She lifted off the ground like a ballet dancer and as she expected to fall, someone held her in place. She slowly looked down. From his almond brown hair, his eyebrows, the shape of his face, ears, and nose, his exceptionally blue eyes, and his cross necklace, Greyson stood there, in the flesh, exactly how Charlotte always remembered him. The green flannel shirt she knew too well and had refused to wash blended in with the forest.

Her feet touched the ground, and she couldn't wait to grab Greyson's face. The texture of his skin was scarily real. Charlotte shuddered and let go, but her husband grabbed her hands and kept them on his cheeks. 

"Stay," he said.

The warmth radiated from him and his breath fanning on her skin couldn't be a dream. They put Charlotte in a trance. But this can't be real. Her logic fought heroically. She would gladly slap herself if it was not for Greyson holding her wrists.

"Care for a dance?" he smiled.

"Slow or fast?" Charlotte blinked.

"Something slow."

They swayed in the indigo light, the song of insects, and each other's embrace. Out of one corner of her eye, Charlotte saw the familiar light bugs emerging from the bushes. They gathered and swamped around Greyson and her. Everything was so bright that she couldn't see a thing beyond the veil of blue the bugs had created.

Charlotte couldn't remember the last time she had felt this way. Maybe on their wedding day. Or every day before the nightmare had started. Everything had been so different then. Now it was just laced with sadness. Charlotte didn't know if this was real or not, but she dreaded letting go.

"Focus," Greyson said. "Only you and me."

He had said that when they danced their first dance as husband and wife.

"Only you and me," Charlotte repeated while chasing the blue sparks in his eyes.

How she missed this.  

Rustles, out of nowhere, interrupted their moment. Small, singular, almost undetectable at first. Then they became movements. Waves. Charlotte could see the leaves flutter before the whole forest illuminated as if they were standing in broad daylight. 

"What..." She slowed down in her steps, squinting her eyes. The whole starry sky must have fallen on them.

"Look at me." Greyson squeezed her hand and waist, continuing to lead their dance. "I'm right here."

Charlotte pressed her face to his chest and inhaled. The smell of pines overwhelmed everything else. She couldn't smell his cologne.

The light slowly dimmed. Charlotte turned her face to the side and peeked. High and low, on every branch and closer to the ground, light dots blinked in harmony like crystals on a chandelier. Candles on a Christmas tree.

Charlotte could see them. The host of tiny people no bigger than bees and butterflies. They "Ooh" and "Ahh" at her and Greyson. They all wore hats today—Some looked like leaves that were fashioned into different shapes; some were wildflowers. Charlotte chuckled. It was probably because of the rain. 

Then, they started to move their wings. Holding one another's hands, they elevated in the air while singing the tune that had been in Charlotte's head for days. 

"Lu lu la,

Lu lu la la la,

Whose forest is this? We think we know.

We give the tree a shake,

And laughs until our bellies ache.

The only sounds in our wake,

Were of distant waves and frogs' moaning..."

Suddenly she could understand every word of it. It was rather silly and made Charlotte burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Greyson quirked his eyebrows. 

Charlotte wiped her tears and shook her head, "Nothing. I just remember how much I enjoy this... Being with you."

"Same, babe. Same," Greyson smiled and touched her forehead with his.