[Han Sujin]

I'm glad I'm leaving the fucking immigration office. Finally! They treated me like a criminal, insinuated that I'm here just to marry some desperate rich American to put my hands on their money, and made me some questions I found beyond disrespectful.

How can they ask me if I'm after money or after sex? How can they make absurd deductions on my life in South Korea? Why do they doubt my intentions? I gathered all my saving to come to the United States, worked my ass off to improve my English and made sure to say goodbye properly to the very few relatives who still wanted to have me around.

The rest? They can all fuck off. They chose money over true bonds, and yet still dare to question me, knowing their morals are anything but impeccable.

If anything, I hope the piece of advice Daehwa gave me before I left is reasonable enough to let me survive in the States.

I've never been really persistent in my life. Usually, when I don't get what I want, I just let it go, accept that things can take a different turn, and move on. But there's just one thing, or better said, one person I'm fighting for until I reach my goal.

He doesn't know my name and hasn't seen a picture of mine yet, but that's not the matter right now. As long as he feels the same as me, I'll be the happiest person on Earth. You may think I'm exaggerating, but I get invested quite a lot when it comes to love.

Considering that this is my very first crush, I don't want to mess up. Still, I feel like I already did. He doesn't seem too enthusiastic when it comes to replying to my texts on KakaoTalk. He usually takes a long time answering, making me wonder when he'll ghost me.

Even this time is no different. A few days ago, I sent him a text, but he hasn't answered yet. It's worrying. He needs to understand that not everyone is patient enough to wait for a late answer. On the other hand, the way he replies makes me believe he thinks I'm a stalker.

I don't know how to make him trust me. I don't spam text, I don't call him every hour. It's not like I'm harassing him. Okay, I shouldn't joke on this topic at all. That's serious. Plus, he doesn't really like when I throw it in the bunch for no particular reason.

Okay, I'm rambling. I should keep calm, but I just can't. I feel the urge to text him. If I don't, I won't know if he'll answer me or just leave me on read. Why can't I already skip to the next step, where I finally meet him in person?

Dream on! This is not going to happen if you continue to hesitate every time you try to get him to say that he also has feelings for you! You need to be more decisive—without crossing the line, of course.

My inner voice is right. I need to stop playing pretend and be myself for once. He only knows me as "94_fairy," my KakaoID. No, there's not a creepy psycho behind that username, but a person with feelings. Exactly, I'm coming clean to him now. If he doesn't answer, it's his loss.

'Daejung-ssi, I need to tell you something vital. Please answer immediately. Don't just read the message and disappear as usual. It's about myself.'

'Well, I need to apologize because I've been hiding behind a KakaoID for too long and have never told you my name or sent you a picture. Now, it's clear why you never reply to my message straight away. You don't trust me. I get it.'

'But, please, I'm not playing with you, I'm not a stalker or someone who wants to kill you. You should know, I actually found your ID and texted you. It was Lee Daehwa who gave me your ID.'

I put my phone back where it was before, in my backpack's pocket. Unlike usual, I feel like he's going to see my message straight away and block me. I have to admit I sounded desperate in my latest text messages.

I need to clear my mind from all the bullshit involving Sim Daejung and, more in general, social media. I decide it's much better to take a walk and then find a place for the night. If I keep idling, I won't go anywhere.

***

I'm lucky. I've just asked a young man for directions and for a place where to stay at least for tonight. He points at a hostel not far from here. "That should be enough for one night, miss," he says. "Good luck!" He disappears in the night, making me wonder if the place is as good as I wish it was.

My expectations might be low, but after spending weeks preparing to enter the United States and face their grueling immigration laws, I don't want to be let down, not now. If I have to endure more sufferance and pain, I don't want to struggle for nothing. It has to lead me to success at least.

As soon as I enter the hostel, I'm in for a surprise. A young woman, probably around my age, eyes me and gasps. "Oh my God! This is the first guest we've had in ages!" she exclaims, still not taking her eyes away from me. Her words clearly betray a sense of relief from finally having a guest after, like, ages.

"What do you mean?" I snap. However, I realize my reaction is out of the line and apologize straight away. After all, the other girl is just trying to be a good host. It's not necessarily her fault if her business is tanking. Okay, why can't I just shut up?

I regain my composure and ask for a room, showing her a handful of bills. She laughs. I feel like she's not going to let me stay even if I beg her. What can I do?

"That's barely enough for just a few hours. A room costs 120 bucks per night. Take it or leave it," she states in a dry tone, making me fume at her condescending attitude. If that bitch wants me to pay that much for a room at this hostel, then I'm not giving her the satisfaction to take my money and leave me with barely anything.

So, I just reply, faking a nice, proper voice tone but actually seething inside. "I guess I can't really afford it, then. Sorry. I'll just leave. But, again, thank you for the offer."

I turn my back at that girl and vow to never see her again. Maybe I shouldn't have been too polite to her, but that's how my parents raised me. It's just that I can't take rudeness so lightheartedly anymore. I'm no longer in South Korea. If I have the chance of giving someone a piece of their mind, I shall just take it.

I walk out of the hostel and prepare myself to have to sleep at a bench somewhere when I'm stopped on my tracks. At first, I ignore them, believing it's just some idiot wanting attention. As I realize that they may not be that kind of person, I turn to find a familiar face.

Lee Daehwa, in person! What the heck is she doing in New York City? When did she come? How did she come? And, most importantly, why? This is just too much to handle, right now. I just need her to get me out of the streets.