Test of fire

Summary : As weekend rolls out Sanskar goes away for a breather among monuments of his past. On the other hand Swara begins to climb over his well placed walls.
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It felt like stepping into yesterday; that surreal feeling when everything but you remained unchanged. Sanskar had gone there wearily, uncertain what to expect. In those first few years, it was too painful to even contemplate going. Then distance and silence had eaten away at what once was a familial bond.

Sanskar was no longer sure how to approach her. But the older woman's face split into a grin the moment she recognized him.

Kaveri Roy was older now. There was more silver to her hair, more lines around her smile. But the twinkle in her eyes remained same. Her little tea shop remained as clean as ever, a cosy little space full of odd fragrances and steaming pots, more like a witch's cottage rather than a cafe.

"Sunny!" She said, warmly, gathering him for a hug. She was a petite woman, barely reaching the base of his throat, so it was funny how strong her embrace was.

"Maa," he muttered, touching her feet. "Maaf kijiye I should have come earlier."

"I know why you didn't, Sunny," Kaveri waved him away. Her eyes straying from his to the ornate frame on the wall which carried a photograph of a smiling girl.

Sanskar found his eyes watering as he held that smile. Something gnawed at his heart, clenching at his throat. Everything was same around them and her smile was the same too - so was his reaction to it. Only, if only...

"Come inside will you," Kaveri ushered him in. "You - giant - you are blocking my doorway!" She chuckled when he hunched his shoulders and touched the back of his head sheepishly. "Aur bataao kya peeonge?"

"Milkshake toh aap dongi nahi - herbal tea hum peeyenge nahi. " Sanskar said in mock dismay.

This was comfortable old territory. This banter had been going on since he was seventeen and one of her regular customers - though his reason for coming had been nothing Kaveri put out for sale. 

"Ek coffee milengi?"

"You need a wife," Kaveri declared. "Someone has to put you out of this horrible caffeine addiction."

"Doesn't that sound a wonderful motivation to get married?"

Kaveri made him sit in one of the corner tables just as another customer walked in. He nodded her to divert her attention there, getting comfortable himself.

There were no pressing matters at hand that needed his attention, Sanskar had come out of the city for a breather. He was in no hurry to return back to the mess that awaited him at Nirvana.

Adarsh had driven it to the brink of ruin with such finesse that Sanskar wondered if Durga Prasad had deliberately lost the company to him.

It was driving him crazy - account books like Bermuda triangle swallowing money that never saw the light of day - foolish investments - moth eaten projects - Sanskar pinched the bridge of his nose, he'd rather not go there.

Kaveri returned to him after a moment, with a delicate tea cup full of light green liquid, gently steaming - tiny blue flowers floating on the surface.

Sanskar scrunched his nose and Kaveri grinned. He didn't touch the cup, instead he picked up the folded paper napkin beside the saucer.

"It's interesting," he said flashing her a grin. "Do you fold them yourself?" The napking was folded like a crane, a casual glance around Sanskar could see different designs, flowers, animals, flakes of snow.

"Each design represents a characteristic of the drink." Kaveri nodded. "You always notice the most unsettling things Sunny."

"I learn from my surroundings Ma. Things I could carry back to my own business."

"I'm sure you don't need an old woman's mechanics at your hotel - Sunny." She paused. "I read about Nirvana. And I wondered when I'll be seeing you again..."

"You wouldn't ask me to stop - will you?" He looked at her pleading. "I can't stop Ma, I won't."

"Jo chale gaye woh laut kar nahi aate beta," Kaveri said heavily. "Ab woh laut kar nahi aate toh what will be the meaning of yearning for them like this?"

She placed a hand over Sanskar's clenched fist, smoothing circles with her work worn thumb. He closed his eyes for a moment, savouring the contact.

"And if they are watching over us," Kaveri continued. "Do you think they'd want us to carry on fighting their battles?"

He was shaking his head now, protesting silently, rejecting her insistent words.

"I will never find peace otherwise Ma," he said in the end. His voice was so small that Kaveri had to strain her ears to listen. "I'd never sleep in peace. Please, don't ask me to give up. This is what is keeping me alive. Please don't ask me to give up."

The tears in his eyes were brimming in Kaveri's as well. She clasped his hand in both of hers.

"Tu bohot achcha hai, lord shouldn't have done this to you. I won't ask you to give up, it's not my place yo ask. Instead, may I ask you to come around often. I have very little left beta, I can't see you losing yourself too. When things overwhelm you, yahaan aakar kudh se mil lo," She said with feeling, blinking back tears.
"Aur woh phone uttah le- it's ringing since forever!"

Sanskar glanced at his mobile prodded by her words. The screen was flashing with an oncoming call.

"Bose" it read.

He frowned. This was a number he did not suppose to have, if not for the private investigator. Now that Kaveri watched him expectantly he slide the accepting button.

"Sanskar Maheshwari," he said, putting on an air of casual ignorance. After their parting conversation he couldn't imagine what made Swara seek him out. Whatever it was - a ploy or a catastrophe - he was certain he did not want to hear.

He heard the sound of her exhale, as if she had been holding her breath until he spoke. Quite childish of her to be so nervous over a call to a practical stranger.

"Sanskar," she spoke slowly, thoughtfully. "This is Swara. Kya hum mil sakthe hai?"

Sanskar arched a brow even though she was nowhere in the vicinity.

"Hum?" He repeated.

"There is something I want to talk to you about."

"Can't we talk over the phone? I'm out of town right now."

"Tell me where to come, I'll come."

"Swara - this really isn't a good time." Sanskar carded his fingers through his hair and pulled. He didn't want to see her. Didn't want her to see him - not here - not like this - not when his walls were stripped bare by a torrent of emotions.

"Sanskar..." she sighed. "Papaji has made me his power of attorney holder."

Sanskar clenched his fist, his heart pounding. Good lord!

"I'm messaging you an address," he said fighting to keep his voice even. "Apne driver se kaho to take you there."

"Thank you, Sanskar."

"See you in thirty minutes."

Once he heard the line going dead Sanskar exhaled deeply. His fist still clenched. Kaveri smoothed a hand over it.

"Kya Hua beta?"

"Kuch nahi Ma," he barely managed. "But something will happen soon."

**

Swara is already there by the time he reaches the paved walk. She doesn't see him immediately, which gives Sanskar time to notice her pale green long kurti and unstyled hair. She looks paler than before, worn out by the events. On one of her shoulders she carried a heavy side bag, probably full of documents.

"Unhe idar hi bula lo," Kaveri Ma had suggested.

But no, that place with her was Sanskar's sanctuary. It was the only piece of himself that he covertly protected. He was nowhere close to bringing Durga Prasad Maheshwari's daughter in law into that place than he was into retransfering Nirvana to Adarsh. The second in fact was much more tempting than the first.

"Swara," he called out finally and watched her jerk out of whatever train of thoughts she was indulging. Sanskar dug his hands into his pockets, his lips pressed into a hard line of displeasure.

"What do you want?"

He made it sound unwelcome deliberately and watched with satisfaction how her frame shrunk a little.

She had not trusted him an iota before, he wasn't buying into this sudden epiphany she seemed to have had. The same thought crossed her mind, she gave her head a faint shake.

"Advice," she said.

"Pardon me."

She breathed out, rubbing her forehead.

"Papaji hasn't regained his consciousness, Sanskar. At times he wakes up - but for a short while. Few moments mostly. But then he falls back into coma. I didn't know until yesterday that I've been named his attorney. I don't know the first thing about his work and suddenly there are decisions I must make..."

She fiddled her thumbs, brushed her hair behind her ear distractedly, all the while her eyes were wide with worry. Her concern was very real. Sanskar knew that she was a pianist by profession who had majored in western classical music. Durga Prasad Maheshwari must have lost his marbles to name her as his agent - considering the times they have fallen into. Or he has lost all his allys that only the mother of his grandson remained trust worthy. 

As he processed this information Swara pulled out a folder from her bag and propped it open, lines of distress marring her forehead.

"They want me to sign this," she said in a small voice. "I - should I sign this?"

Sanskar closed his eyes and inhaled. His voice was utterly calm when he spoke next.

"You are doing a very dangerous thing Swara," he told her. He hadn't still glanced at the folder she was showing him. "Are you certain - very, very certain - that you want me to see an internal document of Maheshwari group? You are forgetting my standing - my interests run against you. It is ethically wrong that you disclose such information to me. You could be voted out - hell, you could be sued!"

She turned whiter if possible and her hands began to shake.

"I have no one else to ask!" Her voice broke as she spoke. "Papaji is indisposed. Adarsh Bhayya is hell bent on making life difficult for me and the board doesn't want Maji to be involved. I -" her eyes brimmed and she wiped them furiously. "I don't trust you!" She said. "But you have interests within the Maheshwari group as well and you are family - Sanskar! If you wanted to exploit that you'd have done it when papaji had his stroke - you didn't. You might find me brash and impatient and silly but I've thought my options through -"

Sanskar held out a hand. Swara fell silent, staring at him.

"Give it here," he conceded. She handed him the folder with a sigh. Sanskar frowned a little as he read, and they began to walk down the path. As he read, Sanskar couldn't help the snort that escaped his mouth.

"Adarsh wants out? He wants to be bought out?" He chuckled darkly. "When was this -" he checked the date of the notice. "Ah the night of the dinner party."

Finally, he turned to her.

"This," he said pointing out one of the many documents in the folder. "Samajlo - this is a command you are sending out to your auditors.

You are going to audit your assets." Swara nodded mechanically.

"This resolution passed by the company, Adarsh is against it. So he wants to opt out of doing business with you. Which in turn means that you have to buy his shares. You have two options - either company can buy him out or they can arrange for a buyer. To know whether you can buy him out you need to know how much money you could spare on this - for that you need the audit.

"Signing this will commence the audit, nothing else will happen."

Swara nodded again.

"But if we can't afford to buy him out -"

"You need to arrange a buyer. If not, he could go to court, trust me it will not have a good impact on the company. You may very well end up in a liquidation simply to pay him off. Adarsh might be foolish but he is vindictive enough."

She took the folder back, her hands still shaking. Sanskar held it for a moment longer, prompting Swara to look at him.

"If I give you an advice aap manengi?"

"Hmm."

"Enroll yourself in some business courses Swara. If you are going to end up behind the wheel of a break failed car, you could very well learn how to drive until you run out of oil."

"But I don't have -"

"Take online classes, look up for distant learning. You can't come to me for such simple decisions if you want your board to respect you. Ask them questions, keep asking until you've understood. Trust me nobody will fault you for that. You've been attending meetings for a while now right?

"You haven't understood a thing because you didn't ask the questions when resources were available to you. Bade papa -"

Sanskar paused and hissed at the slip he made. Still he continued. 

"I mean Mr. Durga Prasad Maheshwari was an invaluable source if you wanted to learn. Kher, for now try to read, question and understand. I'll recommend you a few books that give you the general picture. God willing, your father in law will wake up soon."

She was watching him with an odd look in her eyes. Her face had drawn into a blank between thoughts.

"Where is your car?"

"Uh," Swara mentally shook herself and blinked. "Woh I took a cab. Sunny is on a play date with his new best friend, I'm going there and car will pick us both up from there." She looked a little sheepish and did not quite meet his eye.

"You came without informing anyone?" Sanskar wondered why he even bothered asking. "Come now," he took her from elbow and steered her towards the road.

"You don't have to worry - Sanskar - Woh - main -"

"Chup!" He rounded on her. "Do you even know this neighbourhood? Agar woh galat raaste le gaya would you even know?" That shut her up. Swara fiddled with the strap of her bag as Sanskar opened the car door for her.

"But you were in the middle of something right?" She asked cautiously. "Nevermind," she said then, noticing his stormy mood.

"Where to?" He asked, nodding assent to her decision to remain silent.

**

"Mama!" Sunny leaped at her. Sanskar was amazed at how efficiently she caught him around the middle, swaying a little as she twirled him around. Instinctively he grabbed her shoulder and steadied her, she did not notice as both mother and son roared with laughter.

"How was your day - bachcha?" She kissed his hair. There was something so tender about her, about how she lavished Sunny with attention - about how lovingly Sunny gazed back at her. Sandkar backed away, it was a moment that had no place for him in it.

"Hello uncle!" Sunny noticed him however and one of his tiny arms reached out for him.

Swara put him down, wincing a little at the effort. Sunny was a big boy now.

"Sunny woh app ke bade papa hai," she corrected him gently. Sunny looked at her quizzically.

"But bade papa toh Adarsh Maheshwari hai na?"

He had learned the names - very difficult names - of his family members only recently. It was difficult to remember each face with a name and now he hadn't seen bade papa and Parinita Mom in a while - was it like Daadi ma's serials where people often changed faces but retained the same name? Sunny scratched his head. It was confusing.

"How can there be two bade papas?"

Swara laughed. But it was Sanskar who replied.

"Do you know why you call him bade papa?"

"Haan," Sunny supplied. "He's my papa's older brother!"

"Exactly. I am your papa's older brother too. So what should you call me?"

Sunny was thoughtful for a moment.

"Bade papa?"

"Wow Sunny, you are so intelligent!" Swara ruffled his head. Sanskar grinned and patted him on the head too. "Bade papa ko bye boliye," Swara coaxed, holding and waving one of Sunny's hands.

"Bye bade papa!" Sunny repeated dutifully. Then in a lower tone added. "Aap jaa rahe ho?"
Inadvertently Sanskar was reminded of Swara asking him the same question the other day. Both of them had the same bird like tilt to their heads, the sane tucking their chin in - movement, as they said those words.

"I'll see you again," he told him and fished something from his purse. "Swara, probably your father in law wouldn't agree but if you are looking for advice on contractual agreements - my father is still a member of Maheshwari legal."

Swara flushed, pursing her lips.

"Sanskar woh -"

"I know it didn't occur you. It's fine. You are still new to this complicated family dynamics. Dad se baat karlo, I'm sure he'll be more than willing to help."

"I did," she said in a rush. "Unhone hi aap ka number diya."

"Oh," Sanskar winced. Sometimes, he forgets that his father is also a man of free will. Sometimes his will made special appearances when his illustrious brother is not in the scene. "Well then, I'll get going. Take care! Bye champ!"

Swara watched him leave with her hand still tangled in Sunny's hair. Their car was yet to arrive. She fished out her phone and made a call.

"Haan Swara beta, so how did he fare?" Her father in law, the very Durga Prasad Maheshwari who she claimed was unconscious questioned from the other end of the line.

Swara took a moment more to answer, wondering if she could put everything that she felt into word. Whatever he was, Sanskar Maheshwari was not a man to be described in a few sentences. But what they needed to know was whether he was trust worthy or not - whether he had an ulterior motive or not. And perhaps, by giving her sincere impartial advice Sanskar had answered that question.

"Brilliantly, papa ji," she replied without a second thought.

**