“What do you want to eat?” He asks me going through the menu.

We are sitting at a secluded, cosy table away from all the bustle of the restaurant. I go over the menu, my eyes jumping from one cuisine to another indecisively.

“I can't choose.” I look up at him with a sheepish smile. He just smiles and nods at me.

“It's okay, I'll order. What do you want for drinks? Water or wine?” He asks closing the menu as the waiter comes our way.

“Sir. Ma'am. What would you like for your drinks?”

“White wine, please.” I politely say to the waiter.

“I'll have a scotch.” Jake recites his order. Waiter nods and walks away to fetch our drinks.

“Sooo... I didn't see your sister? Where is she?” I ask.

“She lives a few blocks away from me  and she took a day off from work today, so she would be busy partying with her friends as of now.” He rolls his eyes.

“Okay.” We stop talking as the waiter comes back with our drinks.

“Are you ready to order, sir, ma'am?” He asks us.

Jake nods in his direction. “For starters we'll have Scallops With Chorizo & Hazelnut Picada and for the main course we'll have Pork Chops With Celery And Almond Salad.” He completes, handing the menus back to the waiter. The way he recited the order with full authority yet in a polite made me smile with giddiness.

“You'll absolutely love the dishes. It's the speciality here.” Jake assures me and I nod at him, trusting his choice.

After we eat our food, which by the way was absolutely delicious as Jake said, we talk some more and enjoy each other's company. We decide to step out and get some frozen yoghurt as dessert.

Jake holds the door open for me as I murmur a thank you to him, beaming up at him at his sweet gentlemanly gesture.

“What do you want?” He says looking at the different flavours.

“Umm....” I take some time deciding and I don't hear the door opening behind me, unaware of someone else entering the shop.

I'm about to voice my order when I hear someone else do it for me. The voice sending a chilling shiver down my spine. A disgusting kind of shiver.

“She'll have the strawberry flavour.” The voice called out, mockery and amusement dripping off of it.

I freeze to my spot hearing that voice. I can recognise it anywhere. Afterall it had been the cause of all my nightmares and insecurities. The cause of my PTSD. A sliver of fear makes it way into my heart but I push it down. It had been Roxy. Had. Don't let him control you again. With my mind made up, I slowly turn around, my body still rigid going into defence mode expecting the worst from him. Marcus.

“Well, well, well.. Fancy seeing you here, Roxanne.” Marcus says in that sickly sweet voice of his which I used to love once upon a time.*Eye roll*

He is an attractive man no doubt about it that's why all the women threw themselves at him. With jet black hair and deep brown eyes and that brown skin tone of his makes him sexy. His laid back personality did great job in fooling others and make all those women walk into his trap. That's all there is to him because as much as he was charismatic he was unequivocally revolting on the inside. To think that I was once in love with this man makes my insides churn in disgust.

His eyes trail down my body from head to toe in an appreciative manner making me feel repulsed.

“You look quite... Ravishing.” His tongue darts out, licking his bottom lip which would have seemed seductive to some other women but to me it seemed lewd and perverted.

I'm still in a daze from his unexpected and unwanted appearance in my life and that too when I'm with Jake when Jake's voice brings me out of it. How ironic. The guy I love meeting my ex and molester on our date.

“Do you know him, baby? Are you okay?” Jake moves towards me in a rigid but a protective stance as if he is ready to jump in time to take a bullet for me if he has to.

I smile at his sweet gesture. Jake's here. Don't worry. I break out of my frozen state and smile at him, touching his cheek in a gentle caress. “I'm okay and yes, I know him, unfortunately.”

“Baby?” Marcus mocks us.

“Shut up, Marcus. What are you doing here?” I snap at him.

“Woah, calm down tiger, I was just here for some yoghurt when I saw you. I thought it couldn't be you, that my eyes were deceiving me, but when I moved closer, I recognised you.”

“Okay...” I give him a blank look not wanting to entertain him further. I turn towards Jake, completely ignoring that douche's existence. “We should get going.” I look at Jake and hold his hand in mine.

“You don't want some?” Marcus asks still trying to talk to me. Somehow that question sounded like a double entendre making me seethe. But before I can give him a piece of my mind Jake steps forward threateningly. I gulp.

He has never looked this angry and scary before. This is the first time I'm seeing him like this. Usually he is his goofy, dramatic and adorable self so I never thought of him like a fighter-type. This is the first time I've seen him lose it. It's as if he is perfectly capable of breaking Marcus' every single bone with ease.

“She is not talking to you asshole. Stop talking to her. Get the hint.” Jake growls at him taking a step towards him ready to pounce.

I hold him back, shaking my head at him, telling him he isn't worth it.

We start to go out when Marcus grabs my arm and turns me around. “I miss you. I'm sorry.” I immediately see red and shrug my arm forcefully out of his hold.

I move towards him pointing my finger at him, “You had your chance and you ruined it when you fucked someone else behind my back for more than a whole fucking year while we were in a relationship. Not only this what you did to me is unforgivable. So, you have no right to miss me, yet alone apologize to me. It doesn't even suit you.” I spit at him.

I turn towards a waiting Jacob, who is staring at Marcus, absolutely pissed, giving him looks that could murder.

Before we can make it out of there, I turn around and impart my last words to the scumbag who ruined my life. Almost.

“Oh and if you touch me again I'll break your hand. I don't want douchebag all over me.” With that I grab Jake's hand and walk away, leaving a shocked yet angry Marcus behind.

We reach his house and I mentally groan thinking about how I owe Jake an explanation. I guess it's time to tell him everything. I just hope he doesn't see me in a different light after I'm done telling him.

“Roxy, Baby?” Jake asks breaking me out of my train of troubling thoughts. He must have sensed how nervous I am. I look at him and find him staring at me expectantly yet patiently.

“Umm, I have to tell you something. About me. Marcus. Us.” I gulp with difficulty as I say 'us'. There was no us anymore.

Jake takes my hand and kisses the back of it reassuringly.

“Okay. No matter what, I'm here for you. You can tell me anything okay?” His sincere eyes bore into mine.

My eyes begin to water but I push my  tears back. I give him a tender smile and reach towards him to place a soft kiss on his lips to draw strength from him.

“Let's freshen up first, then we can talk.” He suggests and I nod.

After finishing up, we both sit on his bed. I have his tee on which is giving me extra comfort that I am in desparate need of right now. He put his hand over my fidgeting ones, stopping me. It's time Roxy, get it out. I take a deep breath before I begin my story.

★★★★★★

*Trigger warning ⚠️. Also this is going to be a hella long chapter, and you might hate Roxy for her past self and her decisions. Don't judge. Think from her perspective! Okay, I'm done!*

★★★★★★

“The guy you met today was my first love, only love and the only boyfriend that I ever had. His name is Marcus Kaine.” I begin. I sit cross legged in front of him and he keeps his hold on my hand giving it a squeeze telling me to continue.

“I met him when I was just 18 years old. He had this bad boy image and even though he was good looking I never paid attention to him. I was the studious type when it came to my studies and never bothered about the boyfriend-girlfriend shit. He approached me one day and apparently he managed to woo me with his charms and being the fool I was, I fell for him. Just like that. Well what do you expect from a naive 18 year old girl, right? Anyways, long story short we were happy together in the initial stage of our relationship. He was very attentive and caring and always made me laugh. But things started to go downhill when he asked me to take our relationship to next level. He asked me for sex. Of course, I refused. I wasn't ready and I was saving myself for marriage. It was my choice and I chose to let my cherry pop only by my husband.” I jibe, trying to lighten the serious mood.

It doesn't work. Jake already looks furious. I sigh. No matter how I say the next part it's going to impact him even worse. So I just decide to be headstrong and let it out.

“He got angry and fought with me trying to emotionally manipulate me, saying things like "You don't trust me and you don't love me that's why you are being hesitant..." I tried to calm him and help him see things from my perspective but he just didn't listen. That was the first red flag I should've noticed. I didn't. I was so in love with him, blinded by the attention he was giving me that I ignored all his flaws and mistakes and let him keep coming back. Our fights started to grow more violent and they became more frequent. I was already mentally exhausted that I wanted it to stop already and decided to give in, thinking maybe that will change our relationship for the better. But that wasn't the case and that's how I lost my virginity to an asshole like him.”

“So he kind of forced himself on you but indirectly.” Jake murmurs through his clenched teeth. I just nod confirming his statement.

“I gave and gave and gave but got nothing other than pain and suffering in return. Bea obviously never liked him but being the supportive soul she is, she was always with me. If it weren't for her, I don't think I might've been sitting here talking to you right now.” I reach out and gently touch his cheek almost making sure he isn't just a figment of my imagination.

“Explain.” He says referring to my previous comment trying so hard to control his anger. I could feel it coming out of him in waves and his rigid posture and especially his blue cerulean orbs that changed into a dark deep blue like that of the bottomless, fathomless ocean.

“One day, I found his phone lighting up with texts from some girl. I opened it and saw his chat. What I found astounded me. He was dirty talking with her sharing pictures and everything. I felt humiliated. Cheated.  So, feeling bold I decided to confront him. He outright refused me and concocted some believable story and like the fool I was, I forgave him and took his sorry ass back.” I wince at my past stupidity.

“After our continuous fights and him forcing himself upon me, he started asking me for money and if I didn't give him any he would lash out at me verbally and would start emotionally blackmailing me. It became too much and I retreated into my shell. I became this empty self that I stopped putting any resistance against him and did whatever he asked me to. What to wear. Where to go. Tell him beforehand before going anywhere, asking for his permission. He became obsessive and I became worthless. He started targeting my flaws like my stretch marks or that I'm not beautiful enough, making me self conscious about myself. I started to hate my body and how I looked. He turned me ugly in my own eyes.” I look up at Jake with tears brimming in my eyes. I held them back. Not now, Roxy. You've already cried enough for that shitbag. Not anymore.

I blink back my tears, Jake hugs me to himself, rubbing my back trying to soothe me. I kiss his chest in a thank you before gaining the courage to continue.

“You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'll understand.” He says still rubbing his hands over my arms.

“No. I want to.” I say determined. I place a chaste kiss on his lips before smiling at him, telling him I'm okay.

“Where was I? Oh right. Because of him I started hating myself. I was drowning in my misery until I fell prey to depression. The whole 2½ years I was in relationship with that jackass, I was traumatized. But I still refused professional help. I considered harming myself so many times but thank fucks I didn't. Then one day my life took a complete 180. I woke up from my trance and realised what am I doing with my life. I decided to get back up, all on my own. So the first step to my freedom was to dump him. And I did it. I called it quits and walked away. He didn't take this lightly.” A tired sigh escapes my lips. The next part is definitely going to make Jake blow up his fuse.

“I decided to tell Bea everything and open up to her. Derek wasn't aware about any of this, I pleaded Bea not to tell him anything, otherwise the fucker would've been dead by now and Derek would've been in jail.” A smile appears at the thought of those two important people in my life who have always supported me and cared for me. I will forever be grateful to them.

“Bea was enraged. But I told her that it's okay and that everything was over between him and I. Then one day he called me and told me that his new girlfriend wanted to talk to me. The bitch started to call me names and accusing me of stealing her boyfriend. I blew up. I told her that she can keep her sloppy seconds and I definitely don't want him back since he would probably be full of diseases that I didn't want to contract. Then she boasted about how they were in a relationship for the last 1½ year. I got another blow to my confidence. He was already cheating on me while being with me for more than a whole fucking year and I didn't even know. I was so foolish! I talked back to the bitch keeping my composure. I told her that if I didn't want him before, I definitely don't want him now. The cheaters like him belongs to the fucking bimbos like you and I hung up on them. He clearly wanted to show off that he already got a girlfriend but his idiotic self didn't expect his equally idiotic girlfriend to slip up the fact about him being with her for more than a year.”

“I'll kill those fuckers. I'll find them and kill them for you!” Jake bellows, his patience finally unraveling.

“Jake, baby, please it was a long time ago and I'm over it now. There's more.” That gets his attention and he stares at me in disbelief and completely torn at the torment I went through.

“Should I continue?” I ask him. He lets out a frustrated breath and pushes his hand in his hair. Gaining his cool back he nods at me to continue.

“Okay. So after 3-4 months, when I was finally getting over the whole shitass torment and I was getting myself back, something dreadful happened. He tried to talk to me, apologize to me but I refused. He had issues and I wasn't going to be the one helping him with those. One day I was alone in our old apartment. Bea was out with Derek. He broke into our house, his eyes bloodshot, a menacing look on his face. He grabbed hold of me and pushed me towards my bed, pinning me down. I was screaming and thrashing at him. He covered my mouth with his hand and whispered in a cold voice, "You're mine. I'll make you remember who you belong to." I was terrified. I knew what he meant by that. I knew what was coming next but I wasn't going to go down like that so I tried to knee him in his balls and get him off of me. My freed hands tried to reach for something, anything, in sheer desperation, so that I could use it as a weapon against him. But of course how could I be so lucky. He pinned me again stuffed my mouth with my own clothes. Tears were rolling down my face as he was about to r..rape me and worst of all I couldn't even save myself. I had never felt so helpless, Jake.” I cannot hold it back anymore and burst into tears at the horrifying memory, my whole body trembling with my painful sobs as those horrible memories resurfaced.

Jake pulls me onto his lap seeing my condition and keeps whispering soothing words into my years. Telling me that he is here to hold me for as long as I want him to. He kisses me on top of my head often, his touch calming me down. Go on, Roxy. You're almost there.

“He tore my clothes open leaving me bare underneath him, he was about to take me when I freed my hand from his and slapped him hard. I could see my handprint implanted on his face. My satisfaction was short lived as he lost himself in his anger and like a mad man he started to strangle me for insulting him and denying him what was his. The sick bastard. I was thrashing, struggling underneath him. That was why I was scared when you joked about strangling me.” I look up at him.

“Oh, Roxy, baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't know.” His eyes are gilstening with unshed tears of his own. Guilt filling them upto the brim.

“No Jake. It's not your fault. You didn't know.” I smile at him through my tear streaked face and reach up to peck his lips. “Oh baby.” Jake whsipers and hugs me so tight to himself, making the breath knock out if me. I rub his back soothingly. Once I feel him returning back to normal I continued.

“I started to lose consciousness as it became more difficult and harder for me to breathe. I probably would've been dead by then if it wasn't for Bea suddenly barging into my room and taking a quick action. She pushed him off of me so hard and punched him, kneed him in the balls. He was about to retaliate when she grabbed the baseball bat from besides the door and took a swing at his head. He stumbled back and lost his conscience.”

“Bea immediately ran to me and wrapped me in a blanket, clutching me tight to her chest, holding me close, whispering sweet, soothing words in my ear. I clutched onto her for my dear life. She dialled 911 and he was arrested and I was given the medical treatment. Derek knew something happened so we decided to tell him. We had no choice. Of course he was beyond pissed. He was ready to murder, but I didn't disclose Marcus' name to him. Only Bea knows his name. Not even Abby. I was ashamed of myself so I didn't want anyone to know. Bea and I dealt with his arrest on our own. Later, I was diagnosed with PTSD but eventually I overcame it. With Bea, Derek's and Abby's help.” I finish the story of my dreadful past and get down from his lap to gauge for his reaction.

He is going to hate me now for being so weak and pathetic.

“Jake..?”

He takes a moment to compose himself before saying, “Roxy, I....”

***************

A/N: And that's the end of this chapter! Whew this was long and absolutely traumatising to write!!
😭😭

So now you all know what Roxy went through!!! The best thing was she came out to be a beautiful and even stronger version of herself!! ❤️❤️

Stay tuned for next chapter!! Vote, comment and share!

Until next time,
Love
S ❤️