Memories of a first kiss thousand years old and another not yet a decade old overlaps each other. Former is bitter shadowed by emotions Ha Jin can no longer pin point, desperate, painful and salty. A liberty taken and forgiven thousand years ago. With his fingers laced through hers - a desperation of different kind - So drives with one hand. The passing vistas are lost to her, instead Ha Jin keeps her eyes on the man for whom she had longed for in her meaninglessly shifting nightmares.

His face is bronze again, she notes - that he has started swimming once more. It must mean that his injury has healed enough and that everything is well with Miss Oh. She dares not ask, the silence between them is fragile and expensive. It allows the memories to come effortlessly that if she close her eyes she could almost hear the galloping hooves of their horse, the sound of his breathing next to her ear and feel his hand on her waist as he managed the reins with the other. It feels foolish now - how she never recognized him back then - how he seems to vanish from her recollections each time she wakes up to a new life. Instead every time, she learns to love him anew, and her love - like wine - gets more potent and stronger with each turn.

His thumb draws lazy circles on her palm, unconsciously tracing lines of a forgotten thought. He thinks of how they are so alike down to their blazing need to protect the other. She would condemn herself to a loveless life for a drift of a chance of saving him and he had long back done the same.

He thinks of Tae dying in a pool of his own blood, ruins of his success lying around him in a maze of broken glass. It felt so easy to believe that Ha Jin must have pushed him into the glass case containing his trophies in an attempt to save herself. His father had made it sound so possible at the same time it seems he had known it all along.

He thinks of what Yo had told him, of his brother’s rightful anger.

“He had the tape all along - his key to Hae’s fortune. And even after I found it all he has the audacity to send an attacker...!” Yo’s words had been puffs of anger. So watches him pace back and forth, hands balled and jaw clenched.

"He did that to your head?" So asks pointing at the sizable plaster on his forehead. 

"Yes, I went to see the vintage point." Yo replies darkly.

Yo finds it hard to imagine a father casting away a son so easily, or overlooking the potential murder of a child - but in the light of recent findings So finds it gruesome but all too real. Tae had never been a son to his father and thinking of the way he - the son - was manipulated So is doubtful in front of his ambition Assemblyman Hwang would have cared for anything else.

“I shouldn’t be here,” her voice is small, when Ha Jin breaks his train of thoughts, colored by fears she fails to keep hidden from him. For a moment he wonders if she remembers it all - that thousand years old past - a dark thought perhaps that he wonders if she would start to resent him if she does.

“I made a deal with Aboji once,” when he speaks abruptly a surprise flickers across her eyes before their gazes meet. “I thought I was protecting you by leaving. I was led to believe in a falsehood.” As always. He leaves the last two words to remain a thought and reflects back to the time thousand years ago when he had heeded the words of the same man and left for Jin believing in his absence she would be safe. “I shouldn’t have left you.” His last words are a resolve for himself, not to repeat anymore of his mistakes. It seemed everyone around them was a part of a puzzle he was yet to make sense of - a storm he has no shelter against. As the engine dies down, she looks around with a hint of surprise. “Come -”

He takes her hand before a second thought takes hold of her and helps her out.

The sun is setting. Wind slaps against them in salty waves and the sand beneath their feet is still warm. The beach is secluded as is the norm of the spot, the silence only broken by the crashing waves.

He watches recollection color her features lit by the soft gold hues of setting sun and he knows she remembers a similar moment in past. The chances of her changing her mind are slim - but with her, he had always taken his chances. Losing her is somewhat unimaginable - although he had gone through the same more than once.

“I won't take you anywhere unless it is what you want,” he says softly, his voice almost drowned in the breaking waves. “Just stay here for a moment.”

He lets her hand go as if to emphasize on his meaning. She looks lost the moment they lose contact. When she blinks and looks up at him her brown eyes are molten gold in the sunlight.

“Why did you bring me here?”

“You looked frightened - I wanted to make you feel better.” He thinks of ten excuses before deciding to be honest with her. His brows knit when he reflects back to her almost panic attack. So wants to know but he knows better than to ask directly.

There is a gap of thousand years between them, and a lifetime without her has made him more sensitive to the subtle shifts in her emotions. He knows when she is frightened, he knows when she is suffering in silence.

“You are worried,” she catches on quicker than he wishes to and his shoulders stiffen before he takes her hand.

Brushing his thumb across her knuckles he looks into her eyes.

“Do you remember this place?”

She looks around, suddenly rigid, insecure.

“We’ve been here before?”

He hums, low in his throat as they stroll towards the waves, his eyes focused in the horizon. For a moment she thinks he meant the past that comes and goes in glimpses but then she follows the trail of his gaze and finds the waves glistening in the sun all too familiar.

She remembers the sun on her skin, the tickling embrace of the cold waves. His hands on her bare midriff holding her secure as they went deeper and deeper into the rippling water - the bottom dropping and thinning until she felt almost weightless. The resulting peel of laughter was almost a screech, she remembered his eyes glittering with mischief.

“Don’t let go!” She held his arms for dear life, not trusting the look that crossed his eyes. “Don’t you dare So! N - n- no!” She screamed when she could no longer feel his hands, but instead of letting go he pulled her closer, one of his hands flat on her back, and the other guiding hers to his shoulder. They were so deep in water that all she could see was his face - with a halo of sunlight around him he looked beautiful. There were still dark circles under his eyes - remnants of the ghosts that chased him but at least for a moment it seemed he had forgotten them. She was lost in that thought until their proximity hit her - they were flush against each other so that when he leaned forward to whisper in her ear, their cheeks brushed together.

“Go Ha Jin aren’t you ashamed to call yourself a swimmer’s girlfriend?” She had no idea when his voice had grown so deep it made her toes curl nevertheless and she blushed, unable to look at him - he was closer now and his hands - oh his hands had a mind of their own.

She randomly thought of Myung Hee blissfully unaware of her misadventures - away taking photographs of a building she is going to renovate and imagined her scandalized expression if she ever knew what her sweet little cousin was up to.

She met his eyes against the glare of the sun, her chin tilted upwards.

“Are you complaining Hwang So?”

He pretended to think, fingers crawling over her spine and inched closer so that their noses nudged.

“No -” his lips hovered over her eyes making her lashes flutter and close as he spoke. “In fact I love how water makes you more - susceptible !”

Her eyes snapped open and she began to hit him, mortified.

“You jerk - you planed this! You - wait - until I get you! Hwang So you just -”

He held her wrists although she had hardly made any damage and she breathed in angrily.

“Look -” his voice was mild. “You don’t really need my help.” And his hands slide away just as her anger dissolves. She slowly realizes her body had memorized some of those long lost swimming lessons and her fear of water had really been her only obstacle. “Go Ha Jin you are on your own.”

“You are not leaving me are you?” Her tone was uncertain and she reached out for him again. When her fingers made contact with and splayed on his chest she felt a bit relieved and she reached closer. His hand brushed back her hair and cupped her jaw tugging her closer yet.

“I wouldn’t dare,” his eyes burned in the sun. “I wish I could tell you how much it all means - everything you did for me. Even simply that you are here -”

“So..” She just wants to stop him from thanking her. For she is just selfishly in love with him, no matter how undeserving he believes he is. Ha Jin grabs the back of his neck and tugs him down to press his lips with hers.

She remembers that kiss tasted salty and then the darkness curls over her.

“This - this is where -” her voice shudders and dies just as his arm wraps around her shoulders. Even in the sparse warmth of the setting sun Ha Jin feels cold - goosebumps dot her skin and she shivers at the memory. She turns around and buries herself in his embrace. “Let’s go - let’s go So!”

He rubs her back and his lips brush against her temple.

“He won’t come again.”

Of cause she knows that. She knows he is no more. The blurred memories of fear and pain is drenched in blood and shadowed by death. Tae is gone. But they say… She backs away, hands shaking, mind numb.

“Did you know?” She asks disbelievingly and with her heart sinking she recalls his earlier words. “The deal you made with your father - you said you left to protect me - protect me from what? Did you know - did you know that I - that it was me?” Her voice grows hysterical. She staggers back, desperate to put some distance between them, mind whirling and eyes burning - the sand is slippery and she stumbles and collapses on her knees. So rushes to her, concerned as ever but she will not let him touch her. “How can you love me despite knowing I killed your brother?” She demands in a tone shrilly, tears running unchecked. “When it was always you who got accused - scorned - hated for it?”

“Ha Jin - ah,” when he pulls her closer this time his hold is unwavering. He holds her close and runs a hand through her hair. “Even if you did it it would have been self defense.”

Her struggle subsides and she keeps her eyes squeezed shut, head cuddled against his chest. She recalls her uncles icy words.

“If you can’t end it yourself I would be obliged to help - but be warned niece my methods might leave deep scars.”

“I thought you will despise me once you hear - he said you will - I - I couldn’t bear - I’m so selfish! I’m so greedy. I just -”

“You wanted to live. Wanting to live is not a crime.” He mutters against her hair, still stroking them. “And he is manipulating you.” He sounds so confident that her sobs die down, she looks up at him in wonder. “Do you remember doing it?”

Hope that she had smothered rises its head.

“No - there was a guy. I told you before the accident right? We tried to convince your mother and she - she tried to..." she thinks of the woman that tried to drown her and So's grip tightens on her. She looks up at him with tear filled eyes. "B- but they say - he said - he’s a fragment of -”

“Has anything else they said ever been a fragment of your imagination?”

“But - you told your father! They searched high and low for him. Uncle - he showed me the file - there is no such a guy!”

She remembers how calmly he had explained the only conclusion there was to be drawn and then proceeded to explain how he could twist the facts to show that -

“He said he’d make it look like we planed it. Like you were my accomplice… That’s why you left right? You left before you got involved -”

“I left because they would’ve dragged you in!” He hates his own stupidity as he utters the words. “Because Aboji made me think it will ruin your life, that omoni won’t rest until you were punished!”

Her inhale is broken and he continues to stroke her face.

“You weren’t wrong Ha Jin -ah, my father is responsible for this.”

“What - what do you mean?”

“The guy you saw is real. There was a CCTV they had deliberately taken off the evidence list. It shows him leaving the building. You can't see his face but still -”

Her lungs feel raw - too stretched, her head spinning. Ha Jin finds no words to speak and So continues. “Aboji was catering to Haes. Since then they have been funding his ambitions. It wasn’t you who killed hyung - it was his own sponsors.”

  "That guy was real...my uncle...knew?" She muttered the words slowly and a shiver runs down her arms. She thinks of the eyes she felt on her at the Hae manor and wonders if there are monsters that her uncle is feeding.

She draws in a shaky breath as he presses his forehead to hers.

 “There's no need for you to live a life controlled by them. There's nothing that they can use against either of us. I left you thinking I was protecting you. That if I let you stay with Haes they will protect you from Omoni. But they’ve been destroying your mind slowly - stealing your identity. I’m sorry Ha Jin - ah, I’m sorry!” His voice shudders and dies as he closes his eyes. “You were always there for me and I couldn’t - I couldn’t protect you. You did so much - but I was too weak - I -”

They were always drowning in similarities. She had pushed him away falling prey to the same web of lies, deluded to think she was protecting him from ruination by association. She threw him away scared of him ending up hating her. In the end it had all been but a well spun lie. She would not have him begging for her forgiveness. It is not like she is without mistakes, he is yet to learn of the ghosts that haunt her, of the monsters she had created, of Wook. She will not let him repent for her sins. It is a fire she must burn in alone. But for one golden evening she wants to taste a heaven that suddenly feels closer than ever before. A hope that in spite of all the wrong choices, their fates were still bound together. For one shiny moment she believes that he could take her away to a place where her monsters can't reach - and she selfishly clings to that piece of heaven he offers.  

“Forgive me my selfish ways - love… ” She thinks as she gives into her own temptations. “But I know no better way to love.”

He is too grateful of her touch still stroking his cheek, of her breath still mingling with his that he thinks, in spite of all the mistakes he made in this lifetime, he has not yet lost her. He wonders if all he is apologizing for is leaving her as a teen, deluded by his father’s words. He knows it is not so. He owes apologies for so many heartbreaks, a pain worth lifetime, for a love that killed her and for still being greedy enough to hold on and hope like a fool that this time it is going to be different.

“Forgive me my greed - love , for I can never let you go..” he despairs.    

She moves closer and kneels over him, cupping his face, tilting it upwards, she presses her lips to his crown. When she lowers her face, her lips brush a line down the bridge of his nose, past his lips to his chin. His hands grip at her waist holding her in place as she cuddles his head against her bosom.

“I’m cold So,” she mutters against his ear, kissing his temple and her lips linger, tasting the salty traces of tears left on his cheeks, as her fingers knot in his hair. He groans in response and it vibrates against the skin of her throat, her pulse race deliciously under his lips. “Make me warm.”

They rise together, dripping with sand, like two waves chasing each other and collide, flush against each other - his arm curls around her waist, pulling her against him - holding her upright as he kisses her deep yet tender, with so much of reverence that her eyes pool with tears and her fingers curl into his biceps. For a moment it feels the world comprises of only him and she savors the feeling, the earthy taste of him, the heat that seeps through his clothes to meet her and his hand stroking her face.

“Ha Jin - ah…” his voice is molten desire and she crumbles at the mere sound of her name. “Tell me what you want.”

Her eyes are glassy as she meets his gaze, they glitter like stars on his darkened gaze.

“You,” her voice rasps over his lips. “I want you So. Take me with you!”

There is a pause in which they both try to catch their breath and a shadow moves in the newly falling night until it is swallowed whole by the darkness.