The starship Enterprise is...  a small ship. She is a big ship, literally speaking, but she is also small, if you understand my meaning. Word spreads like an Attraxian flu. That one time Sulu and Chekov slept together the news had spread around in exactly two minutes and thirty six seconds. Needless to say, the fact that a strange man, who was both asgardian and human, as well as strangely similar to known not-cool-guy Khan, was now common knowledge. So when Jim walked onto the bridge the next morning, chocolate chip muffin in hand, and watched as the crew scattered like a flock (swarm... murder? Jim wasn't sure of the technical term) of cockroaches, he couldn't say he was surprised.

He dramatically cleared his throat "Good morning."

A disjointed wave of 'good morning, captains' followed.

"Lieutenant Uhura, broadcast to all decks. There are a few things that need to be clarified."

"Of course, sir."

Theseus almost jumped out of his skin when the broadcast started. His beautiful view of the cosmos had been blocked off by an image of the captain's face in relative close up.

"Attention all personnel. As I'm sure you're all aware by now, we have a... guest... on board at the moment. I need each and every one of you to treat him like what he is: a guest. We don't have room for suspicion aboard this ship, and we definitely don't have time for highschool gossip. As always, If you have any concerns, you can relay them to myself or any of the senior staff. Kirk out."

The window went back to being a window, and Theseus let out a long exhale, turning his attention to the current project he was attempting: figuring out just how strong he really is.

He knew now that he was able to crush metal with his bare hands, as well as rip his bed off the bolting on the walls (that was a problem for another day), and lift himself completely off the ground with his thumb. As for what he couldn't do: break his window (although he had left a considerable chip in it), and pry open his door. At the moment, he was seeing if he could separate two thick books that's pages were stacked together like a deck of cards (he'd seen it on TV once. He wasn't succeeding very much).

It was while doing this that his cabin door opened once more, and a clearly exhausted man dressed in blue walked in with a tablet of some kind a-la the future.

"Where are the cool ladies with the guns?" Theseus asked "because based on what I've been experiencing," he gestured to the ruined furniture "I don't think you can take me, bro."

The man frowned "you did this all yourself?"

"Yeah. I don't know how though, I mean, I've had panic attacks but not this bad. Assuming it has something to do with the whole 'Asgardian' thing. Which nobody has explained to me, by the way. Although, doubt I'd understand it if you did."

The man nodded "You're obviously confused, and though I'm not a psychiatrist, I have picked up a thing or two from being on a ship with idiots for the past three years."

"... so, there isn't an actual psychiatrist around?"

"They uh... all got killed in the attack."

"Oh. Shit, man." Theseus looked down at his lap "I'm sorry."

"Eh, it's alright. From what I've gathered you weren't exactly in control when it happened."

"Well that's... nice?"

"In a terrifyingly morbid sort of way, yes."

There was a beat or so of silence. Then the man spoke up "Well we're not going to get anywhere without proper introductions first. I'm Dr McCoy, the chief medical officer of this ship."

"Right, yeah. You're the one who knocked me out the first time, aren't you?" Theseus squinted, looking the doctor in the eye.

McCoy's mouth formed a neutral line"You'll have to forgive me, I still didn't know if you were-"

"Yeah. I know. You're fine." Theseus smiled "woulda done the same thing, I was actually trained for that."

"... what?"

"I'm- well, I was... a schoolteacher. In the twenty-first century. In America. I don't know how much you know about history but... uh. Luckily I never had to use that training. Don't think id've been much use, anyways. I'm about as strong as a strand of spaghetti. Or, I guess I used to be. At some point."

"Well that explains the three-hundred-year-old thing." Dr McCoy wrote something down on his tablet. "Were you unconscious all that time in some sort of cryostasis?"

"What? No. I assumed this was some sort of time travel bullshit. That happens a lot on- uh, here, right?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, actually. Drives me insane, the grammar of it all."

"Yeah. Tenses are... bullshit, huh?"

The doctor (but not The Doctor, the doctor doctor. Theseus knew that much) nodded "Bull. Shit."

Theseus stared out the window. He sat quietly for a moment, thinking. "Do you ever get tired of it? Space, I mean. It's just... Where I'm from none of this is even remotely possible. I hadn't even thought about everything that's out there. But it's so... big. And full of life. Nobody could ever hope to see it all."

"Wow. You're one deep son of a bitch, huh? I'm usually too busy thinking about all the ways that things could go wrong."

"Oh, that reminds me, how come I haven't killed anyone yet?"

Dr McCoy stared, annoyed.

"Shit, right, you're right. I meant- well. When the Spanish came to the Caribbean for the first time, the native populations were decimated. This is a glorified tin can and I'm the equivalent of a spanish armada. Why isn't anyone sick?"

"Well, you have a highly developed immune system, for one. Also, you've been mostly quarantined since you got here. Besides that, haven't got a clue."

"... You've got a point. So how long should I stay here. Two weeks?"

"Oh, no. Hell no. That's cruel and unusual punishment." The doctor shook his head, disgusted "You should be good to go in forty-eight hours. The aerosolized immunization neutralizer should have fully regulated your system by then. Maybe sooner, can't really tell with your jacked up immune system."

"Huh. And I thought the twenty-first century was the future." A slight grin spread across Theseus's face.

"It was. At some point." The doctor shrugged, standing up. "I'll be visiting again tomorrow, to make sure you haven't smashed your brains out or anything. Press the small white button next to the door if you need anything, it pages the med bay."

"Are you sure? That's a lot of power you just gave me, doctor."

"Yeah. I think I trust you. Besides, if you abuse it I can just put you in isolation until your semi-quarantine is over." The doctor smirked, just a bit, and left the room.

"Man. What a nice guy." Theseus thought aloud as he flopped down onto his bed.